Aftershock
by gleechild
Summary: B's decided to stay and get her groove back, but will she get her man too? Surely N won't want her now…and apparently C doesn't either. What's a girl to do? You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl.Post 1x13.Summary of 1st 23 chapters included for easy read
1. Prologue

P . R . O . L . O . G . U . E.

* * *

Nate thought back to the time when he remembered feeling trapped. As if his entire life was planned out for him. He'd been with the same girl forever and he knew that wasn't normal. No other guy he knew had been like that. And for most of his life, he'd just accepted it. Then last spring happened. He was a little tipsy and Serena was more than a little drunk.

They'd somehow ended up on that chair together and he hadn't been able to stop himself. It was the first time that he realized that life wasn't planned out. That he really could change things. He didn't have to do what his parents wanted him to do. He didn't have to do what Blair wanted him to do. He could actually be himself…the only problem was that he didn't know who his self was.

Telling Blair the truth had been the hardest thing he'd ever done, but he had to. He couldn't sleep with Blair without telling her that it wasn't what she imagined it to be. It wasn't his first time. And he knew Blair. Or at least he thought he did. She had to have everything absolutely perfect.

He learned to love Blair before he could even ride a bike or tie his shoe laces properly. He'd loved Blair before his first pimple, his first woody, his first… everything that happened after the age of five.

They'd experienced so much together. It wasn't until he started rebelling against everything that it all came crashing down.

Blair hadn't been his first in one of the most intimate acts between a man and a woman.

And he hadn't been hers.

Why was it so hard for him to get past that fact?

He knew it was because he'd been so honest with her and she had lied to him. Well, she hadn't really said the words "Nate, I'm still a virgin." But she let him go on believing that he was her first.

The night of the ball he'd thought that for once in a long time he was actually happy with the way life had played out. He felt so horrible for everything he had done to her and he was amazed that she could keep on forgiving him. He knew that she really must love him and that it wasn't too late. And he really had missed her. She had been a part of his life for so long; it just felt natural to be with her.

He couldn't believe how much he missed her during Thanksgiving. Thoughts of the previous year kept floating through his head that day. He still only had eyes for Blair at that point. Serena was drunk and crazy and it was funny, sure. But it hadn't fazed him.

What he didn't know the day of the Cotillion was that it was already too late. He hadn't known that not being able to tell her that he loved her was the worst mistake he could have ever made. Because then she did the one thing that he didn't know if _he_ could forgive.

Yes, he was angry when he thought she was dating Carter. He was actually jealous, and he couldn't believe the emotions coursing through him. In his bid to run away from Blair, he hadn't stopped to think that maybe she would find someone else. The fact that _Carter_, the guy who had tried to rob him blind in a poker game, was the offender just made it even worse.

But even in the middle of all that, he never once thought that she would offer someone else the one thing she'd held so sacred all these years. As soon as they were old enough to get the hormones, they'd started making out. And it had been incredible. But she'd always wanted to wait, and he'd always agreed. He loved and respected her, why wouldn't he agree?

She had slept with Chuck. _Chuck!_ Chuck…his best friend…the betrayals had come full circle.

His head was still spinning. He never saw it coming. Jenny had mumbled the words, and he felt like he was kicked in the stomach. His girlfriend and his best friend: he didn't know what made it worse. The fact that she hadn't told him or the fact that it was Chuck she'd been with.

He had never raised a hand to anyone before in his life. He never had to deal with drama like that before. But all he could think as jealousy shot through him was how much he wanted to hurt Chuck for hurting him. So he'd slammed him up against the first available surface and demanded the truth. And the truth had hurt far worse than anything he'd ever felt before in his life.

Everything was so messed up.

She had been waiting for him when he got home from school that day—the worst day ever. He could hardly look at her. The things he'd always loved most about her were tarnished. She had made him the most important thing in her life for so long that he couldn't conceive of her doing this to him. He wondered how many other things she had lied about.

He had just promised her a week ago that nothing could tear them apart if she'd only forgive him. He didn't know that his promise would be put to the test quite so soon...and he didn't know if it would pass the test.

Because inside he was aching and he knew then, just like he knew all those months ago when he first realized that he had control over his own life, that nothing was ever going to be the same.

**

* * *

**

Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. The Upper East Side is abuzz with the news of Queen B's slut fest. C is drowning his woes while N wobbles in a daze. B's decided to stay and get her groove back, but will she get her man too? Surely N won't want her now…and apparently C doesn't either. What's a girl to do? You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl.

_

* * *

_

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 1

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about what was supposed to happen after The Thin Line… Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

* * *

"Dad," Nate said, walking up to the table his father was sitting at surrounded by other recovering addicts and what not. He'd heard the tail end of their discussion and knew his father was spouting off about some lost at sea adventure… one of the many he had before settling down to marry Nate's mom and sit behind a desk.

"Nate!" his father stood up, happy to see him. "Son, I'd like you to meet Ned, Trevor, and Matt. Guys," he continued, looking at the three men around the table, "this is my son, Nate."

Each man nodded their hellos.

Nate wasn't really in the mood to make nice with them. He had just experienced the worst week of his life and he'd rather just get this visit with his dad over with before returning to his empty home and escaping from reality.

"Nice to meet you," Nate nodded politely. He was still all manners and charm though.

"Dad, you ordered?" Nate dangled the bag he had with him from his fingertips. The food at the rehab center was only the best, but nothing could beat a fully loaded hot dog from Gray's Papaya… or so his father had told him on many occasions, which is why he made the extra stop to pick them up on the way out of the city.

"Sure son," Howard said before rising from his seat and saying goodbye to the guys.

They walked back to Howie's room. Nothing had really changed since the last time Nate had visited. The same sailboat model his mother had brought for decoration, the same calendar painstakingly marked off each day that his dad was stuck in this place. The only other personal item was a picture of the three of them sitting on his nightstand: Dad, Mom, and Nate—the picture perfect happy family.

_Yeah right_, Nate thought to himself.

They settled down at the table and chairs situated across from the bed. Nate started un-wrapping everything to set it out. He liked the times he was rustic with his dad, like when it was just the two of them out on the boat.

"So, where's Blair? I thought she was coming with you this time," Howie asked, taking a bite out of his dog.

Nate paused and tried not to wince. He had forgotten that he'd asked Blair to come with him to visit.

"She's…she couldn't make it. A last minute Eleanor Waldorf shindig: you know how she is," Nate lied through his teeth.

He didn't want to tell his dad that he had broken up with Blair again. His dad had been so happy for him when they got back together. His breaking up with Blair the first time wasn't a good moment in the Archibald family history.

"Ah, yes, I do know Eleanor," Howie said fondly. The Waldorfs and Archibalds had all been friends for years, an acquaintance only made stronger by the relationship between their only children.

"So, sign ups for track and field are at the end of the month," Nate said. He didn't always know what to talk with his dad about when he came to visit. He really wanted to find out how his progress was going, but the topic just never came up in the conversation. He figured if his dad wanted to talk about it, he would. His dad was getting the help he needed; Nate didn't want to keep drowning him in it.

"Great, I know you'll make the team," Howie said with absolute conviction. There was never a question in his mind. "You do every year. Plus, you're an Archibald," Howie winked.

Nate gave a small smile and nodded. Just like his father to remind him of what he was… did his father even know _who_ he was? Well, probably not considering that Nate was struggling with that question himself.

"I'm picking up more time in the weight room and training at the park when I can," Nate told him.

In reality, he didn't know what to do with himself now that he'd kicked Blair and Chuck out of his realm of reality. So what else was there to do but pound out his frustration on the asphalt? Running helped to clear his head of all his problems.

"Great, that's great son. I wouldn't expect anything less," Howie nodded approvingly.

"You aren't eating," Howie noticed. Nate had completely forgotten about the food; his mind was trying to run away from thoughts of Chuck and Blair again.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Nate smiled ruefully and took a big bite for good measure.

"Something on your mind?" Howie asked. He may not be the best or most attentive parent, but he was pretty sure something was bothering Nate.

"No, no, nothing," Nate said before directing his attention back to his meal.

"Is it about the suspension?" Howie asked. Nate looked up, startled.

"Your mother told me all about it," he continued. "Wanting to protect your fellow classmates was a noble deed, but next time…think about your future, not anybody else's."

Like there was going to be a next time. He still couldn't believe that he'd tried to take a fall for Blair. In light of recent events, he remembered the weird thought he'd had when she'd found out about his doing it for her.

"_That's the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me," Blair said, wide eyed. _

_He'd looked into her eyes and swore that she was completely into him. She was actually smiling her sweet little smile—the same one she'd always bestowed on him when he made some grand gesture. Admittedly, those gestures had been few and far between lately. But still, it was just like coming home. And he knew he couldn't hold back his feelings any longer._

"_I love you," he whispered, leaning forward tentatively, hoping for a kiss._

"_Please," she said, halting his movement. He froze, uncomprehending. "You and I just can't happen right now." _

"_Why not?" he whispered, almost desperately. He couldn't understand this. Everything had been perfect weeks ago, and now she doesn't want anything to do with him. She's forgiven him for everything else, why can't she forgive him now? Especially when he's finally giving her the one thing she needed so badly. His love._

_She paused for a long moment before finally uttering, "I don't want to be with you."_

_He didn't know what to say. He didn't understand _how_ she could say that. But he wasn't going to stay and argue anymore. He turned and walked away with a low "good catching up" just like she'd brushed him off with in the pool. _

_But as he walked away he couldn't help but think…"the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me"? He was the only one who had ever done anything romantic for her. Wasn't he?_

Why had she acted like that in the first place? Did she feel guilty for lying to him and wanted to just stonewall him into leaving her alone so she didn't have to admit the truth? Or was she still seeing Chuck, even then? Chills climbed up his spine as he tried to concentrate on his father's words about responsibility and his future.

Concentrating wasn't going to happen. He nodded as if he was paying attention and couldn't help the thoughts from clouding his mind again.

There were a lot of things he didn't know about this whole shitty crapped up situation. He had a million different questions and didn't know if he'd ever learn the real truth. He didn't know if he _wanted_ to know.

But he knew that the question he tried to bury the most was whether or not while he was admitting his love to her, she was thinking about someone else…having sex with someone else…and unwittingly setting him up for this fall he'd taken. He finally understood what she had felt when he'd betrayed her this way. And he knew that—back then—his mind was always on someone else too.

Of course, since December _she_ was the only one on his mind. And after the revelations of this past week, Blair _still_ was the only one in his mind. He didn't know how to get her out…and he _really_ wanted to.

* * *

"Come on Waldorf! Time to face the world!" Serena said loudly as she grabbed the comforter and yanked it off her best friend.

"Serena, go away," Blair mumbled, burying her head underneath a pillow. Her night mask was still on but it, unfortunately, didn't block sound along with light.

"Get up Blair. Time for breakfast!" Serena said in a sing-song voice.

Blair groaned. "Is it too late to go to France?"

"Yep," Serena said.

Blair finally removed the pillow from her head and rolled over. She removed her mask and looked at the clock. It was a minute before six in the morning. Her alarm was going to go off any second. She flipped the switch so she wouldn't have to hear the awful screeching sound. Then she looked at Serena who was completely dressed and ready for school at this godforsaken hour.

"What'd you do, get up at the crack of dawn?" Blair muttered before closing her eyes again and tossing an arm across her face.

"Something like that," Serena shrugged. She walked over and leaned across the bed, grabbing Blair's arms. "Let's go!"

"Alright, alright," Blair finally muttered as she sat up. "I hate you, you know that?"

"I love you too," Serena smiled. "Now come on. You have to eat breakfast, shower, get dressed, and walk to school. It's Monday morning and it's the first day of the rest of your life!"

Blair knew Serena was trying to make her excited about the changes ahead, but she didn't think she was going to be able to put on that happy face today. She didn't want a new leaf. She liked her old one just fine.

She let Serena drag her along and then she found herself sitting at an actual table to eat breakfast instead of lounging on a sofa.

Serena hadn't been kidding about breakfast either. Apparently Serena hadn't eaten yet, so she'd told Dorota what to rustle up and voila. Fresh fruit, toast and even some scrambled eggs were laid out.

Before Blair could fork a couple pieces of fruit, Serena grabbed Blair's plate and put a little of everything on it.

"I can't eat all that," Blair rolled her eyes. A half a slice of toast? A spoonful of eggs? A couple chunks of melon and pineapple? _Well maybe just a little of each_.

"Yes you can, and you will. It's not a lot Blair," Serena insisted. "Besides, you're going to need your strength today B."

"Fine," Blair said. Serena did have a point. Why not face the lions well fed?

Fifteen minutes later Serena's plate was bare and Blair still had half her eggs, most of her toast, and half of the fruit chunks.

Serena looked at her watch quickly. "Okay! Go shower and get ready," Serena looked up at her and nodded. "You're doing great B!"

Blair gave a small smile and nodded before standing up and ascending the stairs.

She knew that Serena wanted to get to the school early. It would help to diffuse the situation a little _and_ Blair needed to have quick one-on-ones with her teachers. The same teachers who just thought she was out the remainder of last week with a stomach flu. She hated missing school. Making up everything after missing it was just the worst.

She was going to go upstairs and shower and get dressed and completely put everything out of her mind. Well, she was going to try. She had control of her own thoughts, _damn it_! Control of her self.

Then why was the breakfast Serena forced her to eat swirling like dead weight in her stomach?

She pushed down the feelings. _No_, she thought to herself. _Not again._

She finally arrived in the bathroom. She quickly closed the door and raced to the sink. She stood, eyes closed, facing the mirror. Slowly she opened her eyes.

_Ugly, ugly, ugly_—the thoughts started pounding through her head as the gross figure appeared before her.

_No, no, no_—she shook her head and closed her eyes tight again. _I can do this. You can do this Blair. You are going to open your eyes and look in that mirror and see the beautiful girl that you really are staring back at you!_

Slowly, she opened her eyes again and breathed a sigh of relief. She looked a little bed-head, but at least she wasn't fat anymore.

She nodded at her reflection and turned to the shower stall. She wished she could take a bath instead to relax, but she simply didn't have the time. She quickly stripped and walked the couple steps to the shower. She opened the stall door and turned on the water.

She held out her hand to test the temperature. Without warning, a thought hit her—a fleeting memory, one she wished she could forget—and she froze, staring unseeing at the now hot water pounding on her hand.

_When you were beautiful…when you were beautiful…when you were beautiful…_

The phrase raced through her head over and over again.

She couldn't hold back anymore.

With a quick glance at the door to make sure she had locked it when coming in, she turned and opened the toilet seat. She grabbed a toothbrush and got down on her knees and rid herself of the toast, fruit, and eggs Serena had just forced down her.

When she was finished, she breathed a deep sigh. _Just this once, just this once Blair—anyone would need to do it today. Today's not a normal day. Anyone would understand this._

Feeling only slightly better, she quickly flushed the toilet—glad that the shower's pipes would cover the sound—and got into the shower.

Thirty minutes later she was dry, dressed, and refreshed.

Headband firmly in place, absolutely no more flats with socks (she really needed to watch her fashion sense when her life was falling apart), and her lips decorated in her signature shade of red.

Not a hair out of place and feeling so much more confident about the day ahead, she left her room and almost skipped down the stairs.

Today she was going to lay out her plan for complete and total social destruction to those who had kicked her when she was down. It was going to be a long and brutal task, but none of them could run or hide. The only question was who to take down first?

"Let's go!" she called out, almost giddy now, to Serena who was trying to do some last minute reading for an English class.

Serena quickly put the book in her bag and joined her as they left for Blair's first day back since the shit hit the fan. Serena was glad that she had finally stopped resisting and had her gumption back. This wasn't going to be pretty, but she was going to be there for Blair—_no matter what…_

_

* * *

_

To be continued…


	3. Chapter 2

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about what was supposed to happen after The Thin Line… Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

* * *

"Kids!" hollered Rufus from the kitchen, "Breakfast!"

Silence.

Rufus sighed. It had been like this all weekend. Dan and Jenny were clearly on the outs about something. Instead of talking it out like they usually do, they were giving each other the silent treatment. Rufus had no idea what was going on but he figured that he was just going to give them space for now. They needed to work out their own problems. He just wished he didn't have an entire stack of pancakes to eat by himself.

He looked up when Jenny's door opened.

She rushed out of her room quickly, already wearing her coat, school bag in hand, uniform in place.

She rushed past, pausing to grab an apple out of the bowl on the counter.

"Hi Dad," she said without even looking at him.

She took a bite out of the apple and kept walking toward the door.

"Bye Dad," she said before leaving the loft.

He winced at the sound of the door slamming shut.

He sat down to begin eating his own breakfast. Ten minutes later Dan emerged from his room.

Dan didn't say anything to Rufus at first, but walked around looking for a book—which he found lying next to the remote on the end table.

"Are you going to have any breakfast?" Rufus asked.

"Wha—?" Dan looked up, confused as to why someone was speaking to him.

"Oh, pancakes… well, no. Sorry dad, I'm not that hungry. Just toss me a granola bar," Dan replied before stashing his book into his bag.

Rufus stood and went to find the requested bar. Instead of tossing it, he walked over and held it out.

Dan quickly stuck his hand out to grab it and looked up at his father, confused when Rufus didn't let go.

"Anything you want to talk about?" Rufus asked knowingly.

"Ah, no dad, just breakfast," Dan mumbled. He looked at their hands and then back up to Rufus expectantly.

Rufus let go. "Okay, see you after school."

"Later," Dan said before leaving the loft as quickly as Jenny had—minus the door slam.

Rufus sighed. Hopefully this didn't last too long.

* * *

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Shut the fuck up!" Chuck muttered into his pillow before reaching over and slamming his hand down on the offensive alarm clock.

He flounced over on his back and slowly opened his eyes.

Why the hell did he even have to go to school? His father was fucking loaded. Chuck had a decent head on his shoulders and was manipulative enough to get whatever the hell he wanted. So what was the bloody point?

Correction. He was almost manipulative enough to get whatever he wanted. Blair Waldorf. The only fucking thing in this world that he had ever wanted that he couldn't have.

Well maybe he _could_ have had her, if only he hadn't turned her away last week. But who the hell was he to forgive and forget? He was Chuck fucking Bass. He _never_ forgave, and he bloody well _never_ forgot.

He was never going to forget walking up a flight of stairs and finding her in Nate's arms minutes after she dumped him.

He had known from the second that Nate started talking about missing her that he was going to have a problem. _Yes, Nate, she was fucking glowing. Want to know why she actually looked happy? Because she wasn't with your sorry ass anymore—she was with me! _

He hadn't said that of course, but he probably should have. He probably should have told Nate the truth as soon as possible. Well, not the night after the first time, but maybe after the second. But for some reason he'd known that it wasn't going to be okay.

Sure…Nate had dumped her. Chuck hadn't ever had the opportunity to date—well sleep with—one of Nate's ex's before because Nate never _had_ any ex's. Chuck knew that it wasn't going to be okay for him to date Blair even if Nate was the one to do the dumping… which is why he hadn't said shit. It was one of those unspoken rules between best friends that Chuck had known about but never had to put to the test. Ha, looks like he failed yet another test. His father would be so displeased.

And even if he _had_ said anything, _Blair_ didn't want to. Forget about Nate, she hadn't wanted _anyone_ to know about them. And sure, it was fun and even arousing keeping this secret to them selves, but Chuck had actually found himself hoping for more…which was just stupid. For one, the perfect Queen B wasn't going to lower herself to give him more, and for two, he never hoped. He never looked to the fucking future.

And look what happened when he did.

He opened himself up to his second best friend and wound up getting his heart ripped out and shoved down his throat. Yeah, apparently he had a heart. Where did it come from? He had no fucking idea.

He should have known that Nate and Blair would work things out. He should have known that as soon as Nate came crawling back with his sleeves full of hearts and puppy dog expressions that it was only a matter of time before Blair ended their sex play. When she walked out on him on the dance floor, he should have known that she would grab any excuse to get away from him and go straight back to Nate.

Well, he _had_ known, he had just been in denial.

She had used him, used him just like he used every other fucking girl before her and since her. It was the one thing he had decided _not_ to do with her after their night at Victrola. He wasn't going to use and discard her. She was different. She'd made him sick with wanting her, how crazy was that? He didn't back off from an offer of free sex ever and yet he'd actually asked her if she really wanted him. They were friends damn it—hadn't that meant anything?

Apparently not. She turned her back on him, just like she turned her back on everyone else she thought was beneath her.

Well, he may not have been good enough for her then, but he sure as hell was good enough for her when everyone else turned _her_ away. But you know what? By then he knew the truth. He didn't fucking care anymore. If she could let him go so easily, so could he. And he didn't care if she got hurt in the process. She deserved it after what she did to him. Payback was only fair.

So yeah, he wanted Blair Waldorf even if he told her he didn't. It didn't matter though. She'd come back into his life and make him start hoping again…which, as he'd already stressed to himself…was just plain stupid. No hope, no future, no forgiving…and unfortunately, no forgetting.

* * *

Chuck had finally managed to crawl out of bed and get his ass in gear.

The other guys at school behaved pretty much the way he would have if the news didn't involve him.

He swore his back was going to be sore from all the pats he was getting.

"Chuck my man!" Ned said, coming up next to him and patting him on the back for a job well done before heading off down the hall to homeroom.

Chuck just shook his head, smirking a little. He _had_ done that—meaning Blair—rather well.

"Hey Chuck," Matt said, walking up next to him now, "how was she anyway? Good enough for seconds?"

Chuck wasn't going to tell this numbskull the truth. He didn't want it getting around that Blair was actually too hot for words in the sack. He wasn't going to have to see her with Nate now, but he'd be damned if some other guy got to enjoy the road he paved.

"Nah, man," Chuck said shaking his head, laughing. "Not even."

"Figures the Queen would be a cold fish," Matt said before laughing himself and walking down a separate hall.

Chuck had almost made it to homeroom when Ian came up to him. "Yo man, how'd you manage to melt the ice on that popsicle?" he laughed while smirking.

Chuck smirked and just shrugged.

They were standing in the doorway now.

"Speaking of popsicles, she give any of that kind of action below the belt?" Ian raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Chuck was about to deny that when he felt the presence of another student hovering behind him, waiting to get into the classroom.

He looked back and froze when he saw Nate standing there, clearly growing angrier by the minute having overheard Ian's question.

Ian didn't know how to shut his fucking mouth. "Hey, man, maybe _you_ could answer that question," Ian joked.

Nate turned from staring daggers at Chuck and took a menacing step toward Ian.

"Hey, chill out. Just joshing you," Ian said, stepping back and holding his hands up.

"Later," Ian nodded to Chuck before heading down the hall to a different homeroom.

Chuck still didn't know what to say or do. It didn't matter anyway. Nate didn't look at him again. He walked right by Chuck without another word and found his seat.

Chuck sighed and went into class. Today was going to be just _perfect_, he thought sarcastically. He could see it now.

* * *

Nate was going through the motions. He had never been much of a scholar anyway so his lack of attention didn't faze any of his teachers.

As the day progressed he was getting better and better at walking past Chuck and looking right through him.

Homeroom had been hell though.

He had decided to arrive at school just before the bell rang, walking inside as quickly as possible. He didn't want to chance seeing _her_ outside. He just had to get through the friggin day and it would be that much easier to get to the next.

Coming up to homeroom though, he'd overheard the end of Chuck's conversation with Ian and almost exploded on the spot.

And though he'd managed to walk past Chuck without saying a word, he had to sit through homeroom with the image of Blair on her fucking knees for Chuck in his head. She'd never done _that_ to _him_, but who's to say she hadn't for Chuck? God, the images just had to stop.

He did his best to keep to himself the rest of the day as all the guys who he'd always called friends—though not the best of—managed to bring up the topic of Blair and Chuck in one way or another.

It was all any of them were talking about. They didn't care. One of their own had gotten lucky and it was like a friggin game. Who can come up with the crudest thing to say next?

"Don't sweat it Nate…I heard Chuck said she wasn't any good," Drew winked, passing by him on the way to lunch. "You weren't missing much."

Nate spent a lot of the day with closed tight fists and trying to fight back the urge to punch someone, _anyone_, out. He didn't need another friggin suspension on his record.

He decided to go to the gym after school. The weight training room was available and it was actually one of the only places at the school that didn't hold memories of Chuck for him. Chuck was too lazy to do any type of physical activity that didn't involve removing clothing.

So he was going to workout and pound on the punching bag and after that? Just go wherever the wind took him… which would probably be home. He'd once again siphon off some whiskey, scotch, or whatever else was available in his parent's liquor cabinet. And if his mother _was_ home, well he just might have to use some of his quickly dwindling stash of wacky tobacky that he had acquired a few weeks ago from Chuck and head out to Central Park.

God, it was crazy how he'd managed to lose everything because of one simple text message. He hated that bitch. If the identity of Gossip Girl was ever discovered, he'd probably take the hit out on her himself. Not that he didn't want to know the truth about Chuck and Blair—he just didn't want everyone else to know too.

* * *

Blair and Serena had arrived at school _very_ early—but it was fine. Blair had enough time to track down all her teachers to find out what she missed so she didn't have to suffer the indignity of asking during class. That would just draw more attention to her and the fact that she had been hiding out at the end of last week in the face of her humiliation.

Blair even managed to be sitting in her homeroom by the time the rest of the students started arriving. This worked out well for her because she didn't get to walk in and have a million eyes staring at her at once. Instead, the students trickled in and had varying reactions—that Blair only had to deal with one at a time.

Some girls that she had never really talked to—and who could care less about popularity and what not—either looked away or just ignored her completely like they usually did. Some girls who she had personally put down gave smirks and laughs and would pause to whisper to their friends. The girls who she actually had been friends with just ignored her for the most part. They were shunning her. Turning their backs on her and acting like she was nothing to them.

She hated that their opinion of her mattered, but it did. She couldn't figure out which group of girls hurt the most. She was just going to hold her head high the entire day and get through it as intact as possible. Her guard was up and she was constantly thinking of ways to turn the tables on everyone. She knew it was going to take time, but she had all the time and patience in the world.

By the end of the day, she had braved rather well. Serena was always there to walk with her between classes—even the ones they didn't share. Blair had even managed to eat her yogurt and grapes at lunch without excusing herself afterwards.

She just hadn't figured out yet who she was going to take down first and how.

But she may have just thought of something…

She paused by a wall, hiding herself from the general view of her old "it" friends surrounding their usual table in the girls open walkway. They were talking and giggling amongst themselves, acting all cute with their headbands and handbags. Kati and Is were wearing some kind of matching outfits that kind of made them look like bumblebees, but that was just Kati and Is. And of course Jenny was with them, acting for all the world like she was as rich and beautiful as the rest of them.

Blair glanced around, taking in everything and crinkled her brows slightly as she watched a girl come up to Jenny when she beckoned. Jenny gave her some sort of instruction before the girl ran off to do her bidding.

Blair thought for a minute…she hardly knew any freshmen but that girl had been kind of familiar. _Elise,_ she thought. That was her name. Eleanor had dealings with her parents once before. They had met at some lunch or brunch or some society function.

Elise was to Jenny what Jenny had been to Blair. Blair had seen those types of girls all the time and she always knew how to handle them—as Jenny seemed to be finding out. But what if the tables were turned a little?

Blair grinned. She now knew exactly who she was taking down first and…more importantly…how.

She held her books in front of her and almost skipped past the girls in the middle of the walkway as she headed to her math class. She had a makeup test in about fifteen minutes and she didn't want to be late.

She didn't look at the girls as she went by and with the way they were ignoring her, she knew they hadn't looked at her either.

After she rounded the corner she accidentally dropped one of her books though and as she bent down she heard Hazel say something to the others about her.

"I swear. I still see a bump. I wonder if she lied about not being pregnant. Either that or she definitely needs to lay off the sweets," Hazel said snottily. All the girls laughed and started talking about the possibility.

Blair finished picking up the paper and tucked her books under her arm. She closed her eyes tight repeating to herself that it didn't matter what they said. She _knew_ she wasn't pregnant—her period had finally arrived that weekend. She opened her eyes and slid her hand down her stomach. It looked flat, _didn't it?_

She started to feel a little suffocated. She wanted solace and Serena had already left for the day. With no one left to turn to, she sprinted to her locker and grabbed the bag that Dorota had given her for lunch. Dorota was always putting extra things in there even though she knew that Blair only ate yogurt and grapes for lunch. Usually Blair trashed the rest but today she couldn't help herself from putting the bag with the forbidden dessert back in her locker.

She opened it now and pulled out the small delicately wrapped apple muffin. She really shouldn't, but it just looked so good. She just needed something to fill the emptiness inside her at the moment.

She found an alcove in between the lockers to sit and snack. She didn't want to appear too odd by opening it and devouring it with her locker still open in front of her. It didn't matter anyway because most of the students were gone for the day.

She sighed as she tucked into the delicious bran flavor. It was actually a healthy whole grain muffin. Dorota knew she watched her weight like a hawk, so even though she tried to get Blair to eat more she still wanted to keep it as healthy as possible.

Blair finally finished and sat back, sighing contently. It had been delicious and amazing and she was never ever going to eat one again.

She looked at her watch. Eight minutes until she had to be in her math class.

She picked up her books and began the trek to the room.

As she hurried her mind kept flickering back to what Hazel had just said.

_I still see a bump…I still see a bump…I still see a bump_

She looked at her watch again. Seven minutes until she had to be in her math class.

She turned off down a different hall from her math class.

The test could wait for seven more minutes.

She had time for one quick stop.

_

* * *

_

To be continued…


	4. Chapter 3

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about what was supposed to happen after The Thin Line… Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

* * *

"Blair! Wait up!" Serena hollered, picking up her pace to meet Blair.

It was Thursday, four days had come and went and school was just as horrible as ever. She was really getting tired of being ignored and laughed at.

Blair paused and looked back at her.

"How'd you get that far behind? Come on slow poke!" Blair laughed.

"Well, uh, gee, B, it could have something to do with the fact that we've been walking _forever_!" Serena finally caught up with her, breathing heavy. She had paused to look in the window of a shop a block back. Blair had just kept walking—probably because she didn't want to look at wedding dresses at the moment.

Blair just shrugged and continued to walk.

"Where exactly are we going and why are you looking for a different salon for you to get your hair done? You know Maddox will be upset if someone else touches those ends," Serena asked, referring to Blair's usual hair dresser.

"I heard about this place and wanted to try it out," Blair said. They finally arrived.

"Here it is!" Blair said excitedly and put her hand on the door knob.

"Wait a minute," Serena said, stopping Blair. "You heard about this place? You knew what it was called? We couldn't have just taken a cab instead? Blair, we've been walking for almost an hour!" Serena was exasperated.

"The exercise was good for us," Blair said.

"We don't need that much exercising Blair. We're not fat. You're as skinny as ever—and beautiful too," Serena said, hastening to compliment her because she knew Blair's self-esteem wasn't the greatest.

"There's a difference between being skinny and _fit_. Muscles are very important too Serena," Blair said reproachfully. "Come on, let's check this place out," she said as she motioned Serena inside.

Serena just shook her head and followed her.

As soon as they got inside, Blair put in a request and they were seen almost immediately.

On the way back Blair finally spotted her quarry in a chair.

"Mrs. Gilbert, what a wonderful surprise," Blair said, coming toward the woman and holding out her hand.

Mrs. Barbara Gilbert was apparently having her tips frosted on her short dark cropped hair. But that didn't mean she didn't have time to say hello to a Waldorf. She had been friends with Eleanor and Harold for years and it was only recently that they had lost contact.

"Blair, dear, so lovely to see you," Barbara gushed.

"Why, my mother will be so happy to know I bumped into you," Blair said, grinning prettily.

"I do miss Eleanor, you must let her know," Barbara continued.

A glint flickered in Blair's eye, a glint that hardly anyone would ever notice.

"Why don't you tell her yourself?" Blair asked suggestively.

"And how's that my dear?" Barbara asked, anxiously swiveling her head around—much to her stylists' dismay—thinking Eleanor might be there too.

"She's having a small get together next Friday night at our home. Why don't you and your husband join us?" Blair said with a wide smile.

"Why, that does sound lovely. Of course we'd love to come!" Barbara was very excited about this change in events. She'd been hoping to talk to Eleanor for some time about the beautiful designs she had begun making since Harold left.

"Seven o'clock," Blair said with a nod. She started turning away but flounced back around, "and bring your daughter with you too. Elise, is it?" Blair asked as if she had no idea.

"Yes," the woman nodded enthusiastically. Her daughter was lovely but not very popular—still a little awkward at school even. If Blair Waldorf had noticed her though, maybe there was hope for little E yet.

"Very good! See you next Friday," Blair said before continuing to follow the stylist that she was assigned to a different chair.

"What was that?" Serena whispered.

Blair just smiled.

"Your mother isn't having a dinner party next Friday. And you don't know who Elise is. What's going on Blair?" Serena asked suspiciously.

"Well, mom's having the party _now_. She'll be home in time. And I do need _some_ other friends, don't I S? Besides, Barbara really is a lovely woman," Blair said grinning.

"Whatever B, just keep me in the loop okay. I can't go to the dinner party though. You know Dan and I already made plans that night," Serena said.

"That's okay, I _can_ fend for myself you know," Blair said rolling her eyes.

And she would fend _very_ well for herself. Serena and Dan may have plans, but so did the rest of the Upper East Side. Next Friday night was the same night as a party being held by some guy at St. Jude's. Blair hadn't been invited of course…but neither did little E. Blair knew it was the perfect opportunity to lay some ground work for her plan.

Little Jenny Humphrey was going down like a stack of bricks, one way or another.

* * *

Nate was getting sick of the quiet dinners alone with his mother.

His melancholy was doing wonders for his biceps…though working out was requiring less and less thought, so like as not he spent the time remembering Chuck and Blair anyway.

Some of the guys at the gym had given him a hard time too until he plugged his ipod into his ears and completely zoned the world out.

He really did miss having a best friend around. Not that he was going to ever forgive Chuck for this, but just the feeling of hanging out with and shooting the breeze with him. He was bored out of his friggin mind half the time now. He really needed to get out more. Maybe he'd go to that party next Friday that everyone was talking about. It would be his first real thing since Blair and he had broken up again. He sort of dreaded the thought of going, but anything was better than this self-imposed numbness he seemed to have entered into.

Nate found himself wondering more and more why Chuck and he had ever been friends to begin with—they were so different.

Ever since Chuck understood that he could do whatever he wanted—had almost complete control over his life—he _did_ whatever he wanted. That was probably why he liked Chuck so much. He was so free while Nate had everything set.

In a way, Chuck actually controlled Nate as much as his parents and Blair did…just differently. They always wanted Nate to look to the future: college, marriage, kids, etc. Chuck wanted him to have fun and live in the _now_. He wanted him to blow things off, almost corrupt the perfect image his parents and Blair had of him—albeit in secret of course.

It only showed how much of a robot he had been all his life that Chuck couldn't corrupt Nate completely.

_God,_ he thought, _I could really use a hit right now._

But his rapidly dwindling supply had reached its end a day or so ago and since Chuck had been his only supplier, Nate was pretty much out of luck for now. He figured he'd ask around at school tomorrow—but only some of the quieter guys.

He didn't need those shit-for-brains "friends" having one more thing to spout off at him about. He was getting really sick of them asking him all their sick questions: "Hey Nate, now that you and Blair broke up would you mind if I hit that? Chuck did, and it _is_ only fair to share the goods with everyone else."

Or their lies: "Yeah, sorry man, I tapped that last night. I just had to get it off my chest…speaking of chests, she could use a little more sumtin' sumtin' up top couldn't she?" "I've been screwing Blair since middle school, oh…you didn't know. That's so cute." "Hell, if Chuck would go for her, you _know_ she'd have to be pretty decent in the sack….wait a minute, no she wouldn't. He'd screw anything hot with legs…and maybe even the legs were stretching it."

It was endless and wouldn't fucking stop!

He definitely would need some of that weed tomorrow. Funny how perfect Blair always wanted things to be and she didn't mind his dalliance with pot. Of course she'd been known to hit it on very rare special occasions, but that wasn't the point. The point was that she didn't mind much of what he'd done at all until he slept with Serena.

She had always been demanding of him, but that was just Blair. The Blair he knew and loved and _had_ pleased. He wanted to please her at the Cotillion. He thought he knew her better than anyone else. Her wants, likes, dislikes…and he really did know all that…just like she knew his.

Serena had been another one of those passing dalliances. Blair had always been there for him and when he couldn't reach her about his dad, Serena had been available. His family was falling apart and he mistook the comfort he felt with Serena for something more. He knew now that Serena was just trying to be a good friend…and that's all she'd ever be.

She had long since forgotten about him, and he her…he had been so wrapped up in Blair since before the ball that he'd finally realized just how good he had it and how good he wanted it forever.

Chuck had said that Blair needed someone and he was there. He guessed she needed comfort just like he did. He knew he was Blair's world and when they broke up it fell apart. He just wished she had told him. He _still_ didn't know if it would have made a difference. But at least he was starting to see things more from her side.

Not that he was going to forgive her either.

* * *

There was a sound of glass shattering from the kitchen. Jenny and Dan both looked up toward their tightly closed bedroom doors and raced out, wondering if their father was okay.

They both froze in front of the kitchen counter and watched Rufus turn away from the sink. He gave them a parental scowl.

"Sit!" he almost yelled.

They hadn't seen him this angry in a while so they quickly did as he commanded, both sliding their stools as far away from the other as possible.

"It's too bad one of the bowls had to take a shattering, but it was the only thing to do to get the two of you out of your rooms!" Rufus glared at both of them.

Jenny and Dan looked away in opposite directions. Jenny started to get up to go back to her room.

"Sit I said!" Rufus did yell this time.

Jenny sat down, wide eyed.

"This has been going on for over a week! I don't know what's wrong and I get that neither of you want to talk to dear old dad about it. That's okay, work out your problems yourself. But I want to eat dinner with my children. So sit down, shut up, and eat!" He said before slapping a plate down on the table in front of each teen. He reached over from another counter and sat down a bowl of spaghetti and plate of bread.

Dan started filling his plate with his head down. Jenny just sat there looking to the side.

"Jenny," Rufus said, a warning in his voice.

"I can't eat that. It has too many carbs," Jenny explained still looking away. Dan grunted.

"Fine!" Rufus said before going back into the refrigerator. He pulled out some cold cubed chicken, grapes and baby carrots. He pulled a bunch out of each bag and washed the fruits and vegetables off before plopping them down on Jenny's plate with the chicken.

"Eat," Rufus said. As an afterthought, he reached over and grabbed a small slice of bread. "And everyone needs a little bit of carbohydrates."

Jenny looked at him annoyed, but he just placed the small slice on her plate anyway.

The silence that followed was only interrupted by the sound of fork against plate and the occasional tinkling of ice in glass.

"Dan," Rufus interrupted the silence finally, "I need you to prep the gallery for the art show next Friday. You and your _sister_," he enunciated the word to invoke guilt, "both should help."

No response. Dan just kept chewing his bread, and twirling spaghetti. Dan really didn't want to sit there longer than he had to, so he was eating rather quickly.

"Dan!" Rufus said loudly, startling both Dan and Jenny.

Dan looked up, paused, and put his fork down. "May I be excused?"

"No, you may not. Finish your dinner," Rufus gestured to the plate. "And are you going to respond to what I just said about the gallery?"

"No," Dan said before digging back into his food again.

"Why not?" Rufus asked.

Dan sighed and dropped his fork.

"For a whole lot of reasons, most of them just silly or stupid, but you know I just have to go into explicit detail because that's what you seem to want. I am not an employee at your gallery; hire someone else to fix it up. And you almost always want me to help out _with_ the show, but you have neglected to find out if I am available or not—which I am not, because Serena and I do, in fact, have plans that Friday. Oh, and how could I forget the most important thing," Dan said, standing up and pushing the stool back with force. "I don't have a sister anymore! Some clone gossipmonger wannabee rich girl has taken over her body."

Dan grabbed his napkin to wipe his face before throwing it on his plate.

"I'm done," he said before turning to stalk away.

Rufus looked at Jenny, hoping she'd provide some light on this behavior.

"I'm not a clone!" Jenny turned and shouted at him.

Dan froze and turned back. "You promised me Jenny. You said you wouldn't change. You said you knew who you were and those girls wouldn't change you."

"I kept my promise! I know exactly who I am!" Jenny argued with him.

"Well if this is who you are, I don't like _you_ very much," Dan grimaced before turning around again.

"Dan! That's not fair!" Jenny was really upset that her brother kept turning his back on her.

"NO Jenny!" Dan said, turning on her once again and stalking across toward her. "What's not fair is using information that you received through listening in on _my_ private conversations for your own gain! What's not fair is sending information to Gossip Girl so she could send it to the entire school and ruin someone! What's not fair is that you almost destroyed mine and Serena's relationship because of that information! What's not fair is that I still have to look at you and know that there's no getting away from living with the very thing I hate most about Constance Billiards!"

"I didn't tell Gossip Girl!" Jenny shouted, rising from her chair and getting into her brother's face.

"Yeah right!" Dan hollered at her.

"I only told Nate that it was Chuck!" Jenny exclaimed. "He's my friend! He deserved to know the truth!"

"Yeah, well who else would have told her Jenny? Who else?" Dan stared into Jenny's eyes, daring her to come up with someone. She didn't respond.

"That's what I thought," Dan said. "You can deny it all you want, but I don't know who the hell you are anymore…so why in the _hell_ would I believe you?"

With that Dan turned and went back to his room, slamming his door shut. Jenny looked despondent and twitchy before turning back to her seat.

She sat down and quietly resumed eating her dinner.

Rufus just sat back and said nothing. He wasn't sure what to say and he didn't want another explosion. But he was starting to realize that there were a lot of changes in Jenny lately…clothes, hair, makeup…he'd just never noticed those things before. He was going to have to start paying more attention now.

_

* * *

_

To be continued…


	5. Chapter 4

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about what was supposed to happen after The Thin Line… Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

* * *

Chuck was in a bit of a quandary.

On the one hand he was quite pleased that Blair was getting what she deserved after humiliating him the way she had. She was such a bitch, which was probably why he had enjoyed his friendship with her even before they added the benefits. And damn the sex had been good. What she had lacked in experience she had more than made up for in enthusiasm. All that pent up waiting and planning for Nate must have been sizzling below the surface for quite some time. He knew from their schemes and prior relationship that she was a lot like him. He just never knew how _much_ she was like him.

He hated that he couldn't stop thinking about her. He hated that he had shown a side of him self to her that he didn't even know existed. In the back seat of a fucking limo he had slid himself home again and again and he had enjoyed it far more than any others. In the back of his mind he'd wondered why she was doing this with him, but all he knew was that she needed comfort—needed him. It was nice to be needed for once.

Then she had needed him again. Sure, the morning after hadn't been pleasant. He hadn't been sure what to expect but her uninviting him from her birthday party was definitely not a good sign. Not that he was going to give up. And of course she was still hoping for Nate to change his mind and makeup. It was always Nate in her head. He hoped to God Nate wasn't on her mind the night she'd kissed him and offered him the chance to be her first. He wanted to wish that he had turned her away, but he knew he never would have done that.

He had never played a more dangerous game then when he bought that necklace for her. He struggled all night waiting for the perfect time to give it to her and show her that her gift to him hadn't been taken lightly. He cared about her. She just kept shutting him out. And he kept invading. He wanted her. His reasoning was simple. She was finally free. He had already ruined any chances of stopping this by giving in the night before. Even if he gave up, they would still have that night. The damage had already been done to his and Nate's friendship (even if Nate didn't know yet)—so why not give him and Blair a whirl?

Was it some kind of sick revenge on her part? Nate had slept with her best friend, so she was going to sleep with his? God, when he thought about it like that he felt even dirtier than he usually was. He didn't want to think about her using him as some pawn in her latest scheme. He didn't want to think about their make out sessions like that. That would mean she'd still had Nate on her mind even then. And here he had tried everything to make her forget about him.

Then he had tried everything to keep Nate and Blair apart. He had been grasping at straws of course. He just made Nate want Blair more and try everything to win her back…which of course wore Blair down.

She had called his bluff, sure. He wasn't going to tell Nate. There was no way he could tell him now. The window of opportunity had definitely passed.

He had finally given up. He watched them making out at school and wished he had been able to tear himself away. She had never looked at him like that when _they_ were together. What was the difference? Oh yeah, she _loved_ Nate. Shit shit fuck fuck. It had hurt. She was fawning all over him, giving her self to him in more ways than she could ever possibly give to a dirty little secret like Chuck.

Then Serena had showed up at his room. He figured she was there to try to say her piece about his torturing Blair. He wished she had been. He had moved on, or tried to convince himself that he was moving on from the cluster fuck that had become his relationship with Blair. He was trying to forget that he had even cared about her in the first place.

Then Serena said Blair might be pregnant.

He had quickly vetoed that idea. He was not a father, was not going to be a father, and he had no room in his fucking life for a little whining accident.

He held off from showing any emotion to Serena—he was good at doing that. But the minute she had left he had sat down hard. Nate was his boy. He had prepared Nate well for this a while back. Nate knew how to keep these things from happening. Hell, he'd slipped him enough condoms in hopes of his best friend finally getting laid over the years that Nate couldn't have forgotten…which meant if Blair was really pregnant, it could have been either of them.

There went another sleepless night thinking about Blair Waldorf. It seemed like just when he had accepted that nothing was going to change and that he had to move on, the entire situation was dropped in his lap again. There was only one course for her if she was pregnant. And he would insist on it himself. Of course she had to take the damn test first. Serena had come to him to get him to talk her into taking that test. He knew he could do it, and he was going to do it.

Hell, he'd never been more nervous in his life. It seemed like some sort of sick twist of fate that the one girl he cared about would have to go through this. And it was _Blair_. He should have insisted she get on birth control or something. He knew she had no experience with this shit. He was the one always prepared, and back when they were together he made damn sure he protected her. But Serena was right, condoms did break.

He probably hadn't insisted because that might have made things more real for her and she'd have stepped back and taken a look around and realized that she shouldn't be doing this with him.

He'd been relieved and pissed when she told him with a smirk that she wasn't pregnant…like everything was fine now and she could go on pretending that nothing had ever happened between them. He was pissed that he had even bothered to approach her about it. Here he had already been used, humiliated, and destroyed by her and it was like he was coming back for more. She dismissed him like he was nothing to her, using the wit that he had found oh-so-sexy before to take him down that much further.

He hadn't stopped to think about anything but making her feel as humiliated and destroyed as he felt.

And there in lies the second part of his quandary.

He didn't think. He didn't realize how much damage that text message would cause. It destroyed her, but it did more than that. It destroyed Nate. And when Nate found out that the other guy was Chuck, it had destroyed Chuck even further.

If Chuck had been thinking clearly he would have realized that questions would be asked about the identity of Blair's lover. If he had been thinking clearly…but since when did he think clearly around Blair? She always had this way of mesmerizing him.

* * *

The past few weeks had passed in a blur for Chuck. He had resorted to his usual ways…it was some what easier because all the guys at school acted the way they always had when word of one of his conquests hit. He knew the proper responses and actions needed. He spent his nights drinking, partying, and womanizing. The female staff at The Palace was good for something at least.

Tonight was one of the first parties he'd gone to since everything happened that was dubbed a "school" party. Well, most of the people there were supposed to be from school anyway.

He spotted Nate almost immediately. He looked about as moody as he always does, but Chuck was glad he was finally out and about. He made a mental note to himself to stay away from that area…Nate didn't want him around. Chuck knew how hard it was to forget Blair Waldorf, Nate didn't need any reminders right now.

But he missed Nate. _God_ he missed Nate. Nate had no idea that every time he had talked about his recent development in his relationship with Blair that it just sent a pang through Chuck. Nate had no idea that when he was giving Chuck that slow wink of thanks before pulling Blair down a hall and into a room at The Palace that Chuck's heart was crumbling. He didn't hold any of Blair's actions against poor clueless Nate. Chuck just wished there was some way to fix their friendship, but wasn't sure how.

In the meantime, he was going to try to have some fun at this party. He spotted two of his sometimes-bed-partners and walked up behind them.

He threw one arm around Kati's shoulders and one arm around Is' shoulders and leaned in between them.

"How's my girls?" he said with a devilish grin.

The girls looked inward at him and then met each other's eyes before jerking away from him.

"Really Chuck," Kati said.

"Yeah, really," Is said.

Chuck looked in confusion at both of them and reached his arms out again, not easily put off. "Got a better offer already? You just got here."

"Any offer would be better than you," Kati said, walking forward and turning around to face him, crossing her arms in front of her. Is threw off his arm again and turned to join Kati in the same position.

"What the hell is your problem?" Chuck didn't understand what was going on. Even if they already had plans, they still loved giggling at the attention he gave their silly clueless rich asses.

"I don't have a problem," Kati said, looking at Isabel for confirmation.

"Nope, I don't have a problem either," Isabel said. "But apparently you do."

Chuck just looked at them, dumbfounded.

"Blair? Chuck, really," Kati said.

"Yeah, really," Is parroted.

"You've got to be kidding me," Chuck laughed. These girls knew exactly the kind of guy he was. He hadn't seen them at all since Blair's humiliation, but he didn't expect this.

"No, we're not," Kati said. Is shook her head affirming what Kati had just said.

"You two aren't exactly in line for best friend of the year award either. Word does travel you know. You two have turned your backs on her just like everyone else," Chuck muttered angrily.

Kati and Is looked at each other for a minute before shrugging.

"Well I guess it took her falling to see what a pig you really are," Is said. "We don't need any gossip following us around. Go find some other sluts to get fresh with."

With that Kati and Is turned in unison and walked away, effectively dismissing him.

_Damn_, that was new. Since when did Kati and Is grow a friggin moral. It must be wobbling between the two of them where they were connected at the hip.

He stood back and pursed his lips, thinking of his next move. That's when he spotted Kati and Is' destination. They were joining a group of girls that he recognized as Blair's former crowd of popularity. And in that group was little Jenny Humphrey…who listened to K & I's report and looked over at him before laughing.

That stupid little bitch had clearly taken the spot recently vacated by Blair in their ranks and using her new little power to put a damper on his fun.

He wasn't one to toy with. She had amused him when she got back at him by locking him on the roof. He hadn't been amused at the time, but once he managed to get back inside the building he had admired the sheer brilliance. But that was then, this was now. She was messing with him getting laid, and that wasn't going to get her admired at all.

He backed off for now and wondered over to some other girl by the bar. He wasn't going to back off forever though. That was for sure.

* * *

It was maybe an hour later when Chuck happened to notice Nate sitting on a couch talking to some blonde. He tried to remember her name…it was some stupid color. Wow, Hazel. He actually remembered a name. Go figure.

He barely listened to whatever the girl he was talking to was spouting off about. Things had just turned a little interesting…because he just spotted Jenny out of the corner of his eye. She was watching Nate and Hazel on the couch and actually seemed a little peeved. Then, much to his amusement, she went over and interrupted their conversation. Chuck watched, fascinated, as Nate turned to look at her and actually gave her a real smile.

_Well, well, well_, he thought. That's interesting. Jenny somehow managed to say something to get Hazel to evaporate and then Jenny sat talking to Nate like they were old friends.

He knew Blair was probably already chomping at the bit to get back at everyone for turning their backs on her. He didn't really care that she had to struggle to crawl her way back up, but if he wanted Jenny to take a small fall…what better way than to make Blair jealous enough to do it herself? He amazed himself sometimes.

He gave the nitwit he was talking to a nod to make her think he was actually paying attention to her prattle before taking his cell phone out and sending a text to his favorite gossip. This really should be interesting.

* * *

"Blair," Eleanor exclaimed from her seat at the head of the table, "this really was a brilliant surprise! Barbara, I've so enjoyed dinner. We really must do it again sometime."

And she was off again, chattering away with her old friend. Blair just gave a small secretive smile. She couldn't be more pleased.

She had hastened to find other couples to invite to this dinner party at the last minute. The hardest task was finding couples without teenaged children to bring along. Blair wanted Elise to herself and that was that.

Blair's plan was falling into place amazingly well. She had invited Elise to sit next to her—which of course she did—and then tried to gauge her reaction. She wanted to see what group of girls at school Elise fell into.

Apparently some of the worshipfulness was still in place. Blair may have been humiliated, but she _had_ been a legend. And this pipsqueak was a freshmen. She was anxious about being so near to Blair and didn't want to do anything to embarrass herself—as she seemed to do a lot.

Blair had taken the time to listen attentively to Elise and respond to her questions, making Elise feel important. Elise was used to being ignored by the popular girls at school unless somebody wanted something, so she was basking in the attention.

Blair had been paying so much attention to Elise that she hadn't paid attention to anything she was eating. She actually finished everything on her plate before she knew it. She was astounded, but she wasn't going to let it get to her. She had decided in the middle of this week that she had to stop.

After the apple muffin incident she had gone home and binged out on some leftover cake she found in the kitchen. And for days after, she'd continued. She stopped raiding the fridge, in case someone noticed, and would stop off at a bakery on the way home from school. She knew that it wasn't going to stay down for long, but she was just too stressed. She hadn't done well on her makeup math exam _and_ she was menstruating, _hello! _Of course the reason she'd been late in the first place was probably because she'd been purging ever since the guilt started eating at her for not telling Nate the truth…and because Chuck had been trying everything possible to make that guilt engulf her whole. So, in a way, the fact that she thought she was pregnant was all _Chuck's_ fault too.

Her bakery runs and binging—and even the exercising—had continued for the rest of the week. After the weekend she had resolved to do better, but then she got smacked in the face again.

She overheard Melissa telling Hazel that Matt said that Chuck was telling everyone that she was horrible in bed. She had turned on them then, just like she should have turned on them when she heard them talking last week.

"_Horrible in bed, huh? Is that why he kept coming back for more? I sent him away and he still came begging. So send that to your little gossip friend," she had snapped at them._

_The girls had cracked up laughing. "Denial is never pretty Blair. So you were horrible in bed, big deal. I'm sure with a little more practice you'll get even _that_ perfect. Matt was telling me that a whole bunch of guys at St. Jude's would just love the chance to improve your education. And you are the apt pupil. Want me to tell him to get their numbers for you?" Hazel smiled faux sweetness._

_Blair had been steamed and humiliated, her face was going red._

"_I'm sure you already have their numbers in your phone. Maybe you can give me tips on which ones I should bypass to get to the good stuff," Blair snapped._

"_Touche' Waldorf. But really, attacking _my_ virtue? If anyone would spread their legs for that many guys, it would be you. I'm sure you can change that two-a-week number to five-a-week in no time," Hazel laughed._

_And then Melissa laughed, and the rest of the girls were laughing and Blair glared, turned, and walked away. She had never walked away from an argument before, but it was getting too hard to hold the tears back. She'd rather have them laugh at her for backing down then laugh at her for crying._

That night had been the absolute worst. She couldn't get away from images of all the times she'd been with Chuck. She would remember how tender and sweet he'd been when he'd settled between her legs and thrust forward that first time. He had made sure she was ready. It had stung at first, but then it was just incredible. He had told her afterward how amazing she was even at that.

Had he been lying? Of course he wasn't. He wouldn't have come back the next day if he was. Or…maybe he'd just taken pity on her because she was so horrible and he wanted to make her feel better about the whole thing. They _were_ friends then. Maybe he thought she needed some extra guidance.

Then why had he been so upset when she broke up with him? Admittedly, she'd had no idea at the time that he would react the way he had. They weren't even together, not really. It was just a mutual friend arrangement thing…or whatever. She was never going to be serious about Chuck. She thought he knew and understood that. She'd been with Nate forever! She wasn't just going to throw everything she had with Nate away for _him_. Was he crazy?

She'd worn herself out that night. She'd never felt so rung out after a toilet session. And she didn't usually cry while doing it either. She should have called Serena, she knew it, but she just couldn't. She didn't want her or Eleanor to know that she'd fallen into this stupid "condition" again. And there was no way she was going to talk to Serena about what Chuck had said. What could Serena possibly say? _Oh, honey, I'm sure you were amazing in bed._ How the hell would she know? And Serena had so much experience anyway, she was sure that Serena had never gotten any complaints.

_Nate_ had certainly never found anything wrong with Serena's performance. He'd never found anything wrong with Blair's either…but then Nate himself wasn't that experienced, so maybe he didn't know the difference between a good fuck and a bad fuck? And his time with Serena had been so long ago that he probably couldn't compare the two.

And that just sent Blair into another downward spiral, tears choking her, making her want to gag even though her stomach was empty of everything—including the bile.

She had woken up the next morning feeling like she couldn't move if she tried. She hadn't gone to school that day. She knew Serena would call her on it, but she faked it. Claimed her cramps were just too horrible. She hoped Serena didn't realize that her period was already over with. S couldn't possibly remember that.

She'd brooded most of the day, trying not to eat anything. She slept and watched movie after movie. And she contemplated leaving for France again. She knew her mother would be home the next day and she was going to have to do something if she wanted to hide all that was going on from her mother.

But then Serena had showed up, as cheerful as ever. She'd given her hugs and reminded her how important Blair was to her.

And then her father had actually called to check in. He hadn't heard from her in a while and wanted to see how life was going. He'd been disappointed to hear that she and Nate had broken up, and she guessed he could tell that she was still down about it. "Don't worry my dear, you're a Waldorf. You always pick yourself up, dust it off, and move on to the next new and exciting thing."

He had sounded so proud of her. And she had snapped out of her reverie. She _is_ a Waldorf. She just had to remember that.

And she had. She kept repeating that mantra over and over in her head. Every time someone tried to start something, every time words trailed through her head that would have sent her looking for the nearest croissant, she shut it out by repeating those three words in her mind.

_I'm a Waldorf… I'm a Waldorf… I'm a Waldorf…_

She had made it all the way to Friday and was feeling amazing about her plan. She was going to take those girls out, especially Jenny, and that was that.

* * *

"I love your headband," Elise exclaimed excitedly. "I never know which ones to choose. I know a lot about fashion, but I still worry if I'm picking the right thing, you know?"

"Yes, I know," Blair said assuredly. "Would you like a look at my collection? I think I have one that would go with the dress you're wearing perfectly."

"Really?" Elise almost squealed. "That would be, well… great!"

"Mother, Barbara, would you please excuse us? There is something I _must_ show Elise upstairs?" Blair asked coyly. The dinner was almost over anyway, so there shouldn't be a problem, but for propriety's sake, she'd ask.

"Oh, no, not at all. Run along dears," Barbara said, clearly pleased, before turning back to Eleanor.

Blair led Elise upstairs. The girl was positively bouncing.

Elise exclaimed over Blair's room, looking around as if in wonder.

"Audrey Hepburn is so beautiful. That portrait is so classic. You have really good taste," Elise chattered on. She was just happy she had recognized that it was Ms. Hepburn. She didn't want to look like an idiot in front of Blair.

"Audrey is my idol. Have you seen Breakfast at Tiffany's?" Blair asked, tilting her head toward Elise as she went through her headband drawer and found the one she was looking for.

"No, I never had the chance," Elise said almost disappointedly.

"Here we go!" Blair said, turning around with the headband in her hand. "Come here," she motioned for Elise to come over and sit at her vanity.

Elise did so gingerly, hoping not to ruin anything.

As soon as she was down, Blair picked up a brush and combed it through Elise's long brown hair. Elise seemed a little startled at the grooming, but relaxed after a moment. Blair set the brush down and picked up the headband, putting it in place _just so_.

"Voila, perfect!" Blair said with a smile.

Elise looked at herself in the mirror and smiled too. She met Blair's eyes and grinned like an idiot.

"Thank you," Elise said. She started to reach up to remove the headband now that she'd seen it. She would look for one like it the next time she went shopping.

"No," Blair said, reaching out her hand to stop Elise, "keep it. I have nothing else that goes with it, and it really looks much better on you."

"Wow, you are so nice," Elise said in amazement. "I never would have thought—," Elise realized what she was saying and ducked her head quickly in embarrassment.

"It's okay Elise," Blair said, dropping her hand to Elise's shoulder. "I know what everyone says about me."

"Well it's so not true," Elise said, giving Blair an encouraging smile. "Jenny is so cool, but she really needs to know that she has you pegged all wrong."

"Well, that's just life, don't worry your pretty little head about it," Blair said. She needed to play it careful here. Jenny was absolutely not supposed to know that Blair has had anything to do with Elise.

"So Elise, I was surprised you were here tonight. I mean, dinner with your parents on a Friday night? I'd think you'd have gone to that party everyone was talking about," Blair said. She picked up the hair brush again and gently stroked the back of Elise' hair.

Elise lowered her eyes. "I wasn't invited."

"Now, that's a shame. I know why I wasn't, but what could possibly have stopped them from inviting you? I thought Jenny was your friend, she didn't bring you along?" Blair asked with just the right amount of sweet.

"Maybe next time," is all Elise said, still quietly looking down.

Blair put the hair brush on her vanity and made an exaggerated girly noise.

"I know! Why don't you come over tomorrow? Serena and I are going shopping and we'd love another opinion! And while we're at it, we can pick out the perfect new wardrobe for you complete with headbands to match," Blair said.

"Really? Oh my goodness, that would be so amazing!" Elise grinned from ear to ear.

"It'll be so much fun! And then later on, if you want, we can watch Breakfast at Tiffany's so you can see just how truly _fabulous_ Audrey is," Blair gushed on, grinning like a little school girl.

Elise just continued grinning at her, nodding.

"Whew, Elise, let me just clean up in here. You can go downstairs and make sure everything's alright with your mother for tomorrow. I'll be down in a minute," Blair said.

Elise bounced out of her seat and headed for the door.

"Thanks Blair! I'm so excited, I can't wait. You really are cool!" Elise started toward the door.

"Oh, and Elise?" Blair said as an afterthought.

"Yes, Blair?" Elise turned around.

"At school…I wouldn't want to bring your reputation down with me. I'm working on trying to figure a way to get people to like me again, but until then…I don't want any of my negative attention to brush off on you. So it's okay if we act like none of this weekend ever happened at school. In fact, I insist on it," Blair continued when it looked like Elise was about to argue. "It would just be one more thing for them to talk about me. But I'm sure we'll get together many more times. I've been so lonely the past few weeks; it'll be nice to have another friend to hang out with when I'm not at that dreary school."

"I understand completely," Elise said, trying to act more serious than before. "Don't worry Blair; I'll do as you ask. I wouldn't want people talking about you even more."

"See, I knew there was a reason we should become friends. We're going to be the bestest of besties!" Blair said, trying to hold back her laughter. Elise just ate it all up.

"Now, run along. Your mother must be wondering where you got to," Blair said, nodding toward the door.

"Yes, Blair," Elise almost curtsied before stopping herself and bouncing from the room.

Blair looked after her retreating back and couldn't help the huge self-righteous grin spreading across her face. Her new army was starting to grow already, and with it came a whole batillian of spies. She couldn't wait to use her newfound friendship to do some harm.

She hadn't felt this happy about the future in weeks.

Of course, then she'd have to get a text message from Gossip Girl to ruin the illusion.

**Boy, do I have a scoop for you. A two-for-one special. Seems K & I have had enough of C's games, if that cold brush off was any indication. But lookie what we have here. H seen talking to N, but then little J shows up to stake a claim. Wonder what our former Queen B thinks of this latest development. Buzz away little bee, your honey is moving on to new territory. You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl.**

Her stomach started swirling and jealousy started eating away. Nate would never give that little freshmen snot the time of day. He was too old for her. Well, not really, but still. She knew they had become some kind of "friends" since the whole fiasco of the Masquerade Ball, but Jenny was insane if she thought Nate would ever move from Blair to _her_. That was just a step too low. And it didn't matter anyway, Blair was going to reclaim her throne, work things out with Nate, and live happily ever after.

Blair smiled, thinking hard. She already had an inkling of a plan in place for this latest development too. Building an army was never such a beautiful thing. She spotted Jenny's humiliation on the rise, and she knew exactly when she was going to do it. Because who doesn't love a St. Valentine Day's Massacre? Two weeks until her plan could be achieved, but she could wait that long. There was another party being held next weekend that was sort of a pre-valentine's day fest—before the Sweetheart Gala the Friday _after_ Valentine's Day.

And _that,_ sweetheart, is when Jenny Humphrey will find out exactly how Blair Waldorf is going to destroy her. A Waldorf always keeps her promises little J, you really should have been paying more attention.

_

* * *

_

To be continued…

Schedule of Events (in case anyone had problems following)

**Wednesday, January 16:** Blair's humiliation

**Monday, January 21:** Blair's first day back to school

**Wednesday, January 23:** Blair invites Gilberts to dinner

**Monday, January 28:** Blair cries herself to sleep

**Tuesday, January 29:** Harold calls Blair and gives her the gumption back

**Friday, February 1:** Eleanor's dinner party with special guests Barbara and Elise (UES Party)

**Friday, February 8:** Pre-valentine's day fest

**Friday, February 15:** Sweetheart Gala


	6. Chapter 5

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about what was supposed to happen after The Thin Line… Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

* * *

"What is it about a night of pool and jukeboxes that make you so irresistible?" Dan asked, pausing to rest on the upward end of his pool stick while watching Serena try to line up her next shot.

She took the shot, not very well, and gave a flirty little pout when she completely missed the five-ball she was aiming for.

"Just natural talent I guess," she joked.

They both laughed and Dan took over, making quick work of the rest of the game. It was the end of their fifth and Serena hadn't made much improvement, so they decided to head out. They could probably stop for coffee if they were early enough.

It was the same night as the dinner party at Blair's penthouse—the one she was using to set up her revenge. It was also the same night as a big party a student at school was having. But Serena wasn't much into partying anymore, and Dan had never been much of a partier, so them already having plans to let off a little steam by relaxing at their favorite hole-in-the-wall and listening to classic Southern rock didn't matter much.

"So…" Dan said as he rested his arm around her shoulders, "how is Blair doing?" He didn't usually like to bring up Blair during their time together, but he knew Serena must have her best friend on her mind and he also knew Serena needed to talk about it eventually.

"I really can't tell," Serena said with a sigh, settling her head against his shoulder, "She's so hard to read sometimes! She's back in school and I managed to make her stay… but sometimes she's bouncing off the walls and sometimes she's like a zombie. I hope she's not going bipolar."

He wanted to say "that might be a step up" but knew Blair was a very sensitive topic right now. He didn't really completely hate Blair, especially not since he came to understand her a little more during the whole modeling shoot fiasco. He didn't hate her at all…he just wished she acted a little more human sometimes. She couldn't be all bad if Serena loved her so much though.

"It's got to be hard for her," Dan explained, trying to help Serena figure out Blair. "I could care less about popularity, but I also don't come from rich parents who give me free-reign and only ask that I keep up appearances. Her image…the way people see her…is her whole life… she's lost it all."

"I know," Serena said softly.

"Creating that image day-in and day-out couldn't have been easy. It must have taken a lot of practice to perfect…and now she doesn't know what to do with herself, or who to be. She's stumbling around trying to figure it out. So I wouldn't worry about the bipolar thing. She's entitled to be a little depressed," Dan continued.

"Yeah…" Serena trailed off. She loved how Dan knew exactly the right thing to say to help her compartmentalize all her thoughts on Blair.

"If I know Blair Waldorf, she'll work it out and be back up that ladder before anyone notices. I don't know her privately that well, but publicly? She isn't going to back off or give up," Dan reassured her.

"I'd believe that if she hadn't almost left for France," Serena said disheartenly.

"_Almost_," Dan enunciated the word. "Almost. She _almost_ left for France. She didn't leave. You reminded her of who she is and she didn't give up. Remember that."

She nodded. She did remember. She remembered that night like it was yesterday. She never again wanted to feel the panic that set in when she realized that Blair was leaving. The fact that Blair had been driven to that extreme showed how truly hurt she had been.

Serena cursed all the girls at Constance Billiards, she cursed Nate for not being more understanding after the crap _he_ put Blair through, and—most of all—she cursed Chuck for getting Blair into this mess to begin with.

"I can't believe Chuck is going to be my step-brother," she said morosely, changing the subject but entering into another topic that was at the forefront of her mind. Of course it was _her_ fault that he was going to be… she really would prefer Chuck over Dan… but she'd rather not have another brother to begin with.

"Eh, yeah. Did I ever tell you that your mother's taste in men worries me?" Dan said, arching his eyebrows.

She guffawed. He cracked a grin too as he listened to her beautiful child-like laughter.

"As far as I can tell, the only good fish she found in that giant sea _was_ my father," Dan went on. "But if they had gotten it right the first time around, you and I wouldn't exist and that would just be so sad."

"Dan," Serena laughed a little, "did you just pout?"

"I just may have," Dan looked away with a little grin.

"Chuck is definitely not someone I'd want to sit across from during Thanksgiving dinner," Dan said, shifting uncomfortably because he knew that might happen if he spent any holidays with Serena after the wedding—or before. "At least you won't have to live in the same house as him—or, do you?" He hadn't really thought about that before. They all currently lived in suites at The Palace but he knew the van der Woodsens actually owned a house in the city.

"I hope not!" Serena said, disgust written all over her face. "He's been living in that suite for almost a year now. Admittedly, his father is never at home, so there isn't really a place he can _call_ home but I don't see him leaving his comfy little whore-ridden environment."

Dan shook his head. "I'm still a little shocked actually… that Blair was involved with him in the first place."

Serena grimaced. "I wish that had never happened. I wish none of this had ever happened. Blair is so strong, but so vulnerable at the same time. I don't understand the weird influence Chuck had over Blair. I really don't."

"It kind of makes sense… almost," Dan tried to explain. Why he was explaining Blair's actions to Serena, he had no idea. "Besides the whole best friend thing…" he didn't want to touch that topic with a ten-foot pole, "she was probably sick of trying to pretend everything was perfect when it wasn't. You said yourself that she didn't say anything about being broken up with Nate because she didn't want it to be true. She's always lived in denial. The idea that she wanted to break free from her good-girl-manipulative-witch" witch was putting it lightly "image and try something new isn't hard to imagine."

"But did she have to do it with _Chuck_?" Serena said, still disgusted.

"Yes… who else in her little world doesn't care about society's opinion? Chuck Bass takes what he wants and does what he wants. Blair has never had that luxury. Being with Chuck probably let her escape for a little while and pretend that she was someone else," Dan said.

"You may have a point there," Serena said. She was still wincing inside at the thought that maybe this was all her fault. If she hadn't come back from Connecticut… if she hadn't bought the pregnancy test in the first place… if she hadn't let Nate in to her suite the day of the Masquerade Ball… if she had never slept with Nate to begin with… if she hadn't done or said a lot of things. Had she been responsible for her best friend's destruction? Blair didn't even have a leg to stand on here. No one else knew about Serena and Nate. Everyone just assumed that Blair had slept with Chuck and cheated on Nate…especially after that "two-in-one-week" post that Gossip Girl sent.

"So how are you and Jenny doing?" Serena finally broached the subject that was probably at the forefront of _his_ mind.

Dan let out a deep sigh. "Not good."

"I'm sorry," Serena said sincerely.

"I just don't understand how she could do it," Dan said. "It's one thing to listen in on my conversations, but to tell _Gossip Girl_ what she heard? I don't know my own sister anymore."

"I don't know why she did it either," Serena said.

"Well, I can probably guess. Blair didn't want to be friends with her even though she'd been trying to bridge the gap all year long," Dan said.

"But, even that isn't a good enough reason to humiliate her so badly," Serena said.

Dan closed his eyes and sighed. "That's the thing. She said she didn't do it."

"What?" Serena asked, glancing up at him a little surprised.

"She said she didn't tell Gossip Girl. She just told Nate that it was Chuck," Dan said.

"Do you believe her?" Serena asked as her mind raced with the possibilities.

"I don't know," Dan shook his head. "I want to believe her, but she's turned into this person I don't even know. How _can_ I believe her?"

"And who else would have told Gossip Girl?" Serena said, continuing his thoughts.

"Exactly," Dan nodded.

"The only people who knew—as far as I can tell—were me and you, Blair and Chuck, and Jenny," Serena said. "I know Blair didn't tell her, and I didn't. You would never—"

"Absolutely not," Dan reiterated.

"So that leaves Jenny and Chuck," Serena said slowly… her mind still racing.

"But why would he tell Gossip Girl? I'd just told him Blair might be pregnant with his kid. He wouldn't take the chance of that getting out," Serena said. "Even he wouldn't be so callous… well maybe he would be…but he probably figured she just needed to get rid of it. He wouldn't want anyone to know."

"Do you really think he'd want to get rid of it?" Dan asked on a side note, still not comprehending the full horror that was Chuck Bass.

"Chuck and babies?" Serena said, raising her eyebrows. "I don't even need to think twice. The way he acted when I insinuated that it was his to begin with. He wouldn't even let me _say_ the word 'father'. He insisted that it couldn't possibly be his."

"Well, I did say he is an ass," Dan said, shaking his head.

"Anyway… it had to be Jenny," Serena continued. "She was the only one to gain anything from this. Plus, Chuck would have to realize that Nate would ask Blair questions and the truth would come out anyway. Nate would want to know the identity of the 'other' guy. Chuck is a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them. He may be an ass, but his friendship with Nate meant a lot to him. I at least know that. And that's not one thing he'd give up lightly." Of course he had to know sleeping with Blair in the first place wouldn't bode well.

"Nate really needs some new friends," Dan said.

"He really does," Serena said. Not that she was volunteering for her and Dan to hang out with him. That would be too weird…and not even remotely possible.

She hadn't heard or talked to Nate since the Masquerade Ball except for one night, a week ago, when Nate had settled down enough to call. He didn't want to talk to Blair or Chuck, but he finally registered the second part of Gossip Girl's message about the whole "who's your baby daddy" thing. He wanted to be clear that Blair wasn't pregnant. He'd sounded extremely relieved when she'd told him that Blair was not.

She'd been extremely relieved herself when Blair had finally taken the test and told her too.

She'd gotten off the phone as quickly as possible. She was extremely pissed at Nate. He'd known Blair all his life and he couldn't make a simple phone call to make sure she was okay?

She understood that he was hurt, but he'd brought it on himself damn it. Why couldn't he have listened to her? She _hadn't_ come back for him. She never _would_ have come back for him. He was her friend. What happened between them never should have happened. He kept following her around when she came back, but she wanted nothing to do with him. All she wanted was to fix her relationship with Blair and make sure Eric wanted to live.

"Speaking of needing friends… Eric is so lost at St. Jude's," Serena said. "I wish he was the outgoing one. He's so smart, Dan. He was the one who helped me realize I wasn't being fair to you with the whole Jenny thing."

"He _is_ quite precocious," Dan said with a smile. "Now that is one of your brothers I will never have a problem with."

"Ew!" Serena said, she pulled away and punched him hard on the arm. "Do not refer to that pig as my _brother_ again!"

Dan held his arm, wincing. "Ow, noted."

She laughed and snuggled up into his side again.

"Eric will be okay," Dan said reassuringly. "He has you, me, Blair, and Jenny. At least I think he still talks to Jenny." He didn't bother trying to figure out what Jenny was doing now-a-days.

"He does," Serena said, nodding.

"That's four more people than he had a year ago," Dan smiled. "He'll be fine. Just let him breathe and learn how to live a little."

She just snuggled close to him as they continued on their walk. Being with him was one of the best things that had ever happened to her. He was so understanding and willing to talk and listen. He really was one in a million.

* * *

Nate was not having a good day. It was Saturday afternoon; the day after the Friday night party he'd talked himself into attending.

The night had gone pretty okay, if not a little boring because he was so moody and didn't hang out with barely anyone.

Some blonde girl had sat next to him and started flirting, immediately ruining his quiet observance of the festivities and memories of actually enjoying these little get-to-gethers. He'd been relieved when Jenny rescued him from her fawning.

He knew that Jenny was a good friend, so he'd made conversation for the sake of making conversation. The other girl had eventually left and they'd had a great time just talking about nothing of great importance.

That had all been ruined by Gossip Girl, of course. How she could take something so innocent and turn it into something so perverse was beyond him. Boys and girls were friends all the time. Couldn't he enjoy a simple conversation with his _friend_ without someone reading more into it? Apparently not.

His morning had gone downhill from the get-go. He dragged himself out of bed before daybreak to go visit his dad. He hadn't run with him in forever and was missing the challenge of racing him. He really did love his dad. He felt so horrible that his life had spun out of control so badly.

Dad was more than happy to indulge him in a run, and it _had _been like old times.

Until Dad mentioned that the doctors thought he was progressing nicely and might be able to come home in a month.

_The end of March_? Dad would've only been in the center for four months. Nate knew that some people got out early, but Dad was supposed to be in a year program. He was only allowed to leave for court dates.

Nate had been floored. And then he realized that he had to tell his dad the truth about him and Blair. It had been so important to Dad.

He'd been protecting the man long enough. Admittedly, his father had taken the news rather well, but Nate could tell he was disappointed. Nate couldn't figure out _why_ he was disappointed. Eleanor had already removed her business from the firm. Did Dad really think that getting Eleanor's account back was as simple as Nate and Blair reuniting?

Well, that's why he thought it best to tell his dad in the first place. And now his dad wouldn't have to come out of rehab to the news. Nate still didn't know if his father was ready to be sprung though.

All these thoughts were racing through his mind as he opened the door to his house and made his way inside.

Then he was hit with the strangest feeling of déjà vu as he wondered into the front study and saw his former best friend, Chuck Bass himself, sitting in almost the same exact spot and position that Blair was when he came home that fateful day more than two weeks ago.

"Get out," Nate said with as little emotion as possible.

Chuck wasn't going anywhere. He lounged back on the couch and turned his head at the sound of Nate's voice.

"Don't you think it's been long enough?" Chuck asked, annoyed.

"Get out," Nate repeated, his voice still deadpan and serious.

"Come on, man," Chuck said, finally sitting up straighter to turn and face him at a better angle. "You can't keep this up forever. We're boys, friends, have been far too long to let some girl get in the way."

Nate glared now. "Some girl?" his anger was starting to rise although he was trying to hold it back. He just wanted Chuck gone. "Some girl?" he found himself repeating.

"Alright, _Blair_," Chuck said her name, rolling his eyes, "Yes, Blair. Okay? I said her name."

"Get the hell out of my house Chuck," Nate said, his voice level rising slightly.

"Would you calm down?" Chuck said in a smooth voice, trying to get him to actually listen.

Nate just continued to glare at him, wondering when he'd get the message and leave.

"Look, it was a mistake. I shouldn't have done it. There. It's done, in the past. Let's let bygones be bygones," Chuck said flippantly. He'd already apologized the day of their fight but he was going to try again anyway.

"The only thing getting gone is you," Nate said, trying not to clench his teeth.

Chuck didn't move, just continued to give him a patronizing look like it was only a matter of time before Nate gave in.

"You think this is all going to go away because you command it to?" Nate finally burst out, his anger unleashing a little. "It's not going away. It's _never_ going away."

"You dumped her, man. That's fair game," Chuck said, knowing it wasn't really fair and it definitely was not a game.

"Game, huh? I thought it wasn't for _sport_," Nate practically spit out the last word.

Chuck sighed. "It wasn't, okay? It just happened."

"Just like everything _just_ happens to you?" Nate asked sarcastically. "_You_ don't just _happen_ to sleep with anyone. You see, you want, you take. That's all you've ever done. Well, boo hoo Chuck. You wanted her, you got her. Now get the hell out of my house before I throw you out."

"I can't let you do that," Chuck said, once again flippant. He figured if he pretended Nate was overreacting, Nate would start to think he was overreacting. That was his reasoning anyway.

It didn't seem to work when Nate started to advance toward him.

Chuck jumped up and backed away.

"What do you want from me? Do you want me to say 'I'm sorry' some more? I'm sorry! I don't have a little time machine. Just tell me what you want. And don't tell me to leave again, because that is _not_ happening," Chuck said firmly. He wasn't going away until they had talked this out at least.

"You want me to tell you what I want?" Nate said angrily. "You warned me to find out what I wanted before I threw everything else away. I guess you proved your point. Thanks for the warning by the way," he finished sarcastically.

Chuck started to rebuttal, but Nate interrupted him.

"You said Carter couldn't be trusted but you forgot to mention that neither could _you_," Nate said.

"Look, man, I don't know what Blair told you—," Chuck started. He really had no idea what had gone down between the two of them. He just knew they had broken up. And he knew that Blair had managed to break him and Nate up too by telling him the truth.

"She didn't tell me anything," Nate said now.

Chuck was startled. His brows scrunched up in confusion as he tried to make sense of what Nate was saying.

"What?" Chuck asked in disbelief.

"She didn't tell me anything," Nate repeated.

"Then who—," Chuck started.

"Someone else told me that it was you screwing Blair behind my back," Nate responded, eyes gleaming with betrayal that he'd had to hear the truth from someone else.

"Who?" Chuck said, he was beginning to feel a little angry himself.

That was the main reason—though there were plenty others—he'd turned Blair away at the bar that night. She'd told him the day before that he could have fun "playing with your self" but turned around and dealt another hand by spilling the beans about their affair to Nate. How else could Nate have known so quickly that Blair had been with _him_?

"Why?" Nate asked sarcastically, throwing his hands up in the air. "So you can take it out on her?"

Chuck pursed his lips. Some bitch had done this—destroyed his friendship with Nate. Blair would have just denied it like she'd been saying she would all along. She would never have told Nate the truth. She was too embarrassed by the truth. Why hadn't he realized this before?

Nate didn't wait for a response even though Chuck probably wouldn't have given one. "_You're_ the one to blame here. It doesn't matter how I found out. You still fucked my girlfriend!"

"She wasn't your girlfriend!" Chuck finally said loudly, completely exasperated and very much pissed that Nate wouldn't tell him who screwed him over.

"Screw you!" Nate yelled at him.

"She wasn't. Being with her was like a chore to you. How the hell was I supposed to know you'd want her back?" Chuck said, finally revealing more than he meant to. "You even came to me with a sob story the next day about your mom making you get back with her!"

Nate froze.

Chuck paused for air and only just realized what he'd said without meaning to.

"And you talked me out of it," Nate said slowly, remembering that day. "You slept with her the same night we broke up?" He knew his face had to be very red at that point.

"Nate, I…" Chuck tried to explain.

"Jesus Christ Chuck, how the fuck long have you been lying to me? I know the stunts you pull, but never on me. Or so I thought," Nate had never been more angry in his life.

"Nate," Chuck said, searching for some way to calm him down again.

"You talked me out of it," Nate said. "You knew I was going to get back together with Blair but you wanted me to drop it. Because _you_ wanted her," Nate's eyes were wide, realization showing.

"Nate, stop," Chuck said. Nate didn't usually piece things together so quickly, but apparently the subject had been on his mind a lot lately.

Nate couldn't look at him anymore. His anger was at a calming sarcastic level, like the eye of a storm. He had to sit down. He ran his fingers through his hair and tried to breathe. He just _knew_ he didn't want to know more details about Chuck and Blair's affair.

Why the hell had Blair come back to him? She must've known that it would all come out eventually. She couldn't hide this forever…or could she? But why did she do it in the first place if she'd already moved on?

"She didn't want you, did she?" Nate said, finally looking up at Chuck again.

Chuck blinked in surprise. Where the hell was Nate getting this stuff if Blair hadn't told him anything?

"And that _must_ have hurt," Nate said with a sneer. "The great Chuck Bass wanted someone who didn't want him back." Nate laughed and hung his head down. The laugh wasn't one of humor—more of irony.

Chuck didn't like having the tables turned on him. He didn't know what to say. He shifted back and forth for a minute, trying to figure out a response.

"You know…" Nate said, still looking at the floor. "There is one thing I've been trying to figure out. Maybe you can help me with it?"

Chuck had no idea what Nate was about to ask. If he'd known, he would have been better prepared.

Nate moved his head back up and gave him a hard look. "How did Gossip Girl find out?"

Chuck looked away.

Nate stood up and took a step toward him. "Blair wouldn't have said anything _ever_."

Nate took another step. "Serena probably knew everything but even _she_ wouldn't say anything."

Nate advanced another step. "The friend who told me about _your_ involvement is a _friend_ I can _trust_. She wouldn't have said anything."

Nate finally stood in front of Chuck, getting right up in his face. "But you, you would have."

Chuck rolled his eyes and shifted his neck. He'd never been good at lying to Nate. He lied to Nate a lot… or didn't give the full truth…but Nate had always trusted him and been completely oblivious to Chuck's cover ups. That's why it was so hard to lie to him now. Nate was watching too closely.

"You don't give a shit about me Chuck," Nate said, eyes blazing. Chuck tried to deny that by shaking his head. Nate just cut him off again before he could speak.

"If you did, you wouldn't have let me find out that way. You ruined Blair, and got your damn payback because she didn't want you. But what the _hell_ did you think it would do to _me_!?" Nate exclaimed.

Chuck opened his mouth to explain, but Nate just kept going. He didn't seem to want to hear a word Chuck said. Nate was figuring everything out on his own and didn't want Chuck to try to skew anything to his way of thinking.

"You humiliated _me_ too," Nate growled. "I looked like a fool in front of everyone."

Nate pushed Chuck back. Chuck stumbled a little before catching his balance. He didn't want to back down, but this wasn't looking good.

"You selfish prick, you thought only of yourself. You didn't give a rat's ass who would get caught in the crossfire," Nate went on, stalking forward again. "And I've had to go through weeks of jokes and snide remarks." He made a mock voice as he continued, "Oh yeah, Nate, sorry man, I slept with your girlfriend last night. Or, don't worry Nate. I heard Chuck said she wasn't any good in the sack. You weren't missing _much_."

Nate pushed Chuck harder. Chuck fell back into the desk before righting himself and walking around the other side to put the desk in between them.

"And what about Blair? Does she even _know_ it was you?" Nate asked, his anger completely uncontrollable, as he leaned toward Chuck across the desk.

Chuck managed to nod. She'd come to him to congratulate him the last time they spoke. She knew he'd ruined her. She knew he'd dealt his final hand and she had lost.

"You slept with her and then you told everyone? You _are_ deeply disturbed you sick fuck," Nate pushed the desk toward Chuck, making him jump back. The items on the desk slipped from their places and some fell to the floor.

"Get the _hell_ out of my house Chuck," Nate hollered right into Chuck's face, making sure he was loud enough to be heard. "And don't you fucking _ever_ come back!"

Chuck knew it was a lost cause. He wasn't going to win this fight.

But he had to say it one more time… "I'm sorry."

"No, you're not. You're just sorry you got caught," Nate said, finally understanding part of the inner workings of Chuck Bass' twisted mind.

Nate turned and stalked from the room, needing to get away _now_.

Chuck rested his palm against forehead before taking a deep breath and leaving the house for what he was pretty sure was the last time.

* * *

"Hey Jenny," Rufus called from down the hall.

"Hi Dad," Jenny said. She'd just arrived home from Kati's house. She had told her dad that she was going to sleep over at Kati's after the party and she was finally arriving home.

"There's some mail on the counter for you," he called out.

"Thanks!" Jenny said. She wondered over to the counter to see what she'd gotten. She didn't usually get snail-mail, so this was a treat. She hoped it wasn't her first sign of junk mail.

She picked up the square white envelope. It wasn't postmarked or stamped. It just said her name and address across the front.

Shrugging to herself, she settled on a stool as she opened it.

'_A Valentine!?'_ she thought excitedly when she saw the red and pink hearts on the front of the card, circling a teddy bear.

She opened to read inside.

**Dear Jenny,**

**I know it's a little early, **

**but I couldn't resist letting you know **

**how much I enjoyed seeing you last night. **

**You helped to ease the pain. **

**I hope you accept this card as a thank you. **

**But **_**please**_** keep this a secret. **

**I've had enough pain and don't want a public display. **

**I'll unveil myself in time. **

**Until we meet again, **

**always yours, **

**Your Secret Admirer.**

Jenny tried hard not to squeal as her mind raced through the possibilities. She'd spoken to a lot of guys the night before. Apparently being pretty, popular, and single attracted the guys like bee to honey. The only guy she'd spent a decent amount of time with was Nate… but he couldn't possibly be the one who sent this card no matter how much she wanted him to.

He was still pretty much hung up on Blair. At least that was the impression she got after their talk. He hadn't said those words, but she could see right through him. He wasn't over the betrayal. He still wore a dumbstruck look, just like the one that had come over his face when she'd whispered the name of his best friend as the one who Blair had been sleeping with. So, no, it couldn't be Nate.

But the card did mention "easing pain" and "public displays" that sort of fit Nate to a tee. But he couldn't possibly be interested in her, could he? No, no way. He was too much older, too much richer. They were just friends.

She squinted when she saw something tiny written under the signature. It looked like… it was an 'A'. Did she know anyone with the first name A?

She thought about it and realized... _Archibald_!

It _had_ to be him. But he didn't want anyone to know. Understandable. He'd been through so much since Blair and Chuck's betrayal.

She held the card close and wondered into her room. She could keep this a secret. She had just the place to store it. Oh, wow. Nate Archibald really liked her.

She couldn't help but feel giddy!

_

* * *

_

To be continued…


	7. Chapter 6

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about what was supposed to happen after The Thin Line… Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

**

* * *

**

Saturday, February 2**nd **_14 days until the Sweetheart Gala_

The elevator doors opened to Blair's penthouse and she stepped out in a rush.

"Elise! Hi!," Blair said almost breathlessly. "Sorry I'm late; I had a quick errand to run."

"That's okay Blair," Elise said, bouncing off of her seat on the settee. "I'm just glad you're here now! Where's Serena?"

"Oh, she's going to meet up with us later," Blair said. "I hope that's okay."

"Oh, yes, that's fine," Elise said with a smile.

She was just so happy to finally be doing something fun with a girl from school. She didn't really have a lot of friends, just acquaintances… and for the most part she was ignored.

"So, how about Bendels?" Blair asked. "Does that sound like a good place to start?"

She wanted to make Elise feel comfortable, like she was making some of the decisions.

"Oh, yes," Elise said. "I don't think I own anything from there! I wouldn't know what to get! My mom gave me her platinum card though, so I'm open to just about anything!"

Her mother had been so pleased at the idea of her wanting to shop with _Blair Waldorf_ that she handed over her credit card and just said something about making her proud. Elise didn't understand why her mother was so anxious about Elise fitting in at school, but she was well on her way to making new friends. A new wardrobe was just the thing really.

"Perfect!" Blair exclaimed. "Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go! Traffic's a little crazy right now so we should probably walk. We're going to have so much fun!"

She was late because it had taken her so long to get back from her little errand in Brooklyn….and even though the taxi driver had tried every short cut imaginable it had still taken forever to get back.

* * *

"So, what about this?" Elise said, pulling a dress off a rack.

Blair tried not to visibly cringe. Elise had managed to choose something that Blair wouldn't wish on her worst enemy. She tried to think of a way to let her down gently before moving her in the direction of much better clothing. She tilted her head to the side to pretend that she was considering when she heard a familiar voice at the front of the store.

She turned her head quickly and spotted Hazel, Jenny, Kati, and Is entering the store.

She quickly turned to Elise. "You-know-who just walked in. I'll be in the changing room. Please don't say anything about me being here!"

Elise glanced over at the girls and her eyes went wide before turning back to Blair and nodding. "Go!" she whispered, her eyes were actually filled with panic.

Blair bit back a laugh that Elise had gotten her message about keeping their friendship as quiet as possible. She was performing so well! Blair scampered into the back but stayed near the doorway so she could observe.

"Why, Elise, what are you doing here?" Hazel asked, spotting Elise standing by the rack with the horrible dress.

"Uh, shopping?" Elise said. That _was_ what one usually did when they were in a store, wasn't it?

"And that dress! Amazing!" Hazel exclaimed, while the other girls gathered around to look at it.

"You really think so?" Elise said giddily. She looked down at the dress that was splashed with neon fluorescents up and down the white background. It had polka dots around the mock neckline.

"Yes…" Hazel trailed off before her eyes flashed and she went in for the kill. "It's absolutely _amazing_ that you could go into a store like Bendels and pick out the most horrible item they offer."

Elise looked at Hazel with wide eyes before looking down at the floor, her face flushed.

"It's absolutely amazing," Hazel said with vicious wonder. "Isn't that right Jenny?"

Jenny was getting better at hiding her facial expressions. So instead of looking at Hazel like she was a bitch, she controlled herself and gave into the peer pressure. Kati and Is were looking at her too. They were both already giggling. Jenny looked closely at the dress. It really was horrible.

"That's right. You really should go for something with a little less color. Instead of a psychedelic Easter egg, how about pastels with fewer colors," Jenny said with an amused smile on her face too. She figured she could give little E a few pointers while knocking her down. At least then she could learn the difference and not make this mistake again.

"And polka dots might have worked for Diane Keaton," Kati said, trying hard to control her laughter as she referred to one of her favorite movies _Because I Said So_.

"But they definitely wouldn't work for you," Is finished.

"Unless your goal _was_ to look like your mother," Hazel said. All four girls started laughing.

"Come on girls," Hazel continued, looking at Kati, Is, and Jenny. "What I was looking for isn't here and we really should hurry if we want to make our nail appointment."

They walked off still laughing as Elise watched them go feeling completely humiliated.

"And now you understand why I don't want them to know that you're friends with me," Blair said, coming up behind Elise. "That would have been ten times worse."

Elise sighed, trying to hold back tears as she put the dress back.

"You heard that?" Elise whispered, her voice sounding like she was about to cry.

"Yes, and I'm sorry I didn't have the chance to tell you to put the dress back before they came over," Blair said, shaking her head. "It's really not the best choice for you, but don't worry. We'll find something that will wow everyone."

"Really?" Elise asked, her eyes hopeful.

"Yes Elise," Blair said with a comforting smile. "By the end of the day, you're going to knock 'em dead."

"Thank you Blair," Elise said, wiping her eye and smiling.

"What are friends for?" Blair said. "Come on! I saw something that would be absolutely perfect for you back by the fitting room!"

Blair grabbed her hand and tugged her along, Elise giggling now at Blair's enthusiasm.

_Blair really is a wonderful person,_ Elise thought. _And those girls are just mean._

**

* * *

**

Monday, February 4**th **_12 days until the Sweetheart Gala_

Blair was pleased at the results of her weekend with Elise. The girl was too sweet and trusting for her own good, but Blair actually had fun dressing her up and hanging with her. Serena hadn't joined them until the very end of the shopping excursion, just in time for lattes. Blair had been planning that all along anyway; she knew Serena couldn't get away earlier. Serena had plans with Eric.

They went back to Blair's place and popped in 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'. By the end of the afternoon Elise was in awe of Audrey Hepburn as well. Just another reason to like Elise. Blair really did miss having all her friends. The only person she had left was Serena. But now she had Elise too.

Blair hadn't even known the girls would stop by Bendels, but she was nevertheless pleased with the results. She knew that today would be the day she was going to get Elise to help her. She even had the perfect plan.

**can u meet me in btrm, by the gym?**

Elise read the text message that Blair had just sent her. She'd been shocked that her cell phone had actually vibrated during one of her classes. She didn't talk to many people and if someone tried to call her, it was usually after school.

School today had been slightly different. With her new accessories to go with her uniform, and the headband that Blair had so painstakingly picked out for her to match those accessories, she'd actually drawn a few surprised glances from the "it" girls. She felt noticed for once in her life—for something other than her ability to return library books.

She got a hall pass and scampered in the direction of the gym. She hoped no one asked her where she was going and why she was so far away from the classroom she was supposed to be in. Blair wanted her for something so she had to go.

She walked slowly into the bathroom and looked around for Blair but didn't see her. She paused.

"Blair?" she whispered. Silence… then Elise heard what sounded like sniffles from the stall on the end.

She walked hesitantly down to that stall and tapped lightly. "Blair?" she asked again a little louder. When she had tapped, the door opened a little. She finished pushing it and frowned when she saw Blair sitting—though not _using_ the toilet—and crying.

"What's wrong?" Elise asked, crouching down in front of her, worried about her new friend.

"I'm…" Blair sniffled and paused to wipe a tear away. "I'm sorry, I just…" she paused for dramatic effect. "I heard the girls talking about me again. And it just… it hurt." Blair trailed off as she let out a sob before clamping her mouth shut and covering her face with her hands.

"It's okay Blair," Elise said reassuringly. "You can call me or, well, text me, anytime you need to." She reached up and awkwardly patted her shoulder. She wasn't sure what to do to make Blair feel better.

"I just wish I could get them back, you know?" Blair said around her tears. "I didn't do anything to them; they just keep attacking me for no reason."

Elise nodded that she understood. And she did, in more ways than one. She had wanted to cry herself when the girls put her down. But Blair had been there for her, so of course she was going to be here for Blair.

"I wish that too!" Elise said. "I can't believe I ever wanted to be their friends."

Blair sobbed some more. "I know it's horrible that I want to hurt them like they hurt me. I just can't help feeling that way. I even came up with an idea, but it'll never work because I'm not close to them or allowed at their houses anymore."

Elise thought about what she just said. She'd been running errands all last week and she even had one she was running after school today—even though she'd agreed to it much more reluctantly than usual.

"Well, I'm going to pick up smoothies for the girls and deliver them to Kati's after school. If you need me to do something for you, I can," Elise volunteered.

Blair blinked through her tears and looked up at Elise. "Really? You'd do that for me?"

Elise smiled. "Of course, Blair."

"But… it's just so horrible," Blair said morosely before looking away.

"That's okay. _They_ are horrible. I don't mind helping you go against them," Elise replied. She had no idea where her words were coming from, but she did know that she wanted to help. And she had the ability to whereas Blair didn't.

"Well…" Blair sniffed, looking up as she wiped more tears away and managed to gain some control of her self-induced tears. "Jenny is by far the worst. She used to look up to me the way you look up to her. But she was really only looking for the first opportunity to destroy me and take my place. Her betrayal stung more than any others."

"I don't look up to her anymore," Elise said with conviction. Jenny had agreed with the other girls on Saturday. She really didn't want to be her friend even though she kept giving Elise false hope about it.

"I want to take her down first," Blair said, sniffling again. "The others were a hard loss, but even they didn't backstab me like Jenny did."

"Just tell me what you want me to do," Elise said. "I'll do it." She wanted to help her new friend. She didn't want to see her hurt anymore.

"This is what I had in mind…" Blair tried to hold back her devilish smirk as she explained her plan.

This was going to be good.

* * *

After Elise left the bathroom, Blair quickly dried her eyes and washed her face before reapplying her signature lipstick.

She made sure she still had her bathroom hall pass close at hand before staring at herself in the mirror.

The plan was falling into place quite nicely, but she hated that she had to force herself to cry. At first she'd tried to think about her father and the devastation she'd felt when he left. But she knew he was so much happier now…and besides, she'd already cried all her tears over that situation. So she'd had to think about something else…which led her to Nate and Chuck.

She'd been doing so well at putting both of them out of her head. She didn't want to think about them if she could help it. She'd only seen brief glimpses of them in passing that she'd quickly ignored as she speed walked by.

She missed them—_both_ of them.

She couldn't believe she actually missed Chuck. Even after all the shit he'd put her through, she still missed him. She missed the friendship they'd had before she broke up with Nate. It was so much fun being evil with him. He was the only one who knew how devious she could really be. All the other girls followed her every beck and call, her every whim. The girls were clueless as to the inner workings of Blair's mind. Chuck had seen through her perfect act…and enjoyed having a colleague at the same level as him. She never should have slept with him. They managed to ruin everything when they tried to be more than friends.

And of course she missed Nate. How could she not? He'd been a part of her life forever. She had missed him the first time they broke up so it was no surprise that she missed him now. They were finally getting to a good, strong place in their relationship before her secret was found out. She should have been honest with him. At least then Chuck wouldn't have had the ammunition to blackmail her and torment her like he did. But how could she admit to Nate what she had done? She could hardly believe it herself. And she really did love Nate so much. She didn't want to take the chance that he wouldn't be able to forgive her. She wasn't secure enough to believe that he could accept it and move on.

So why had _he_ been able to tell her about him and Serena? Probably because Serena was still on his mind when he told Blair the truth. He probably didn't care that she might break up with him… or maybe he felt secure enough. Maybe he knew she wouldn't want to be without him. She didn't know.

There were a lot of things that she didn't know about Nate. And there were even _more_ things she didn't know about Chuck.

But what she did know was that choosing them as the subject to make her cry was a mistake. She'd been able to avert her attention from thoughts of them while hashing out her plan with Elise. But now she was paying for it.

She stared at herself in the mirror and tried to pinch a little color back in her cheeks. She didn't want to look like she'd been crying. She really needed to get back to class before the bell sounded to end the day.

She sucked in a deep breath and put a mask into place, trying to act normal like she wasn't bothered by anything around her.

She finally left to return to class, not knowing that she wasn't doing such a good job after all. Of course, nobody would notice or care anymore.

Nobody, that is, except for one of the very people that had been on her mind so recently.

* * *

She was a shell.

Gone was the glow he'd noticed before Christmas and even after when they'd finally gotten back together. Gone was the smile on her face. Gone was everything that made Blair, Blair.

Nate was leaving school at a normal time today. He didn't feel like working out and just wanted to go home and shoot some hoops or play some Wii or something.

That was when he spotted her.

He had only glimpsed her in the past two weeks, but he'd walked away as quickly as possible not wanting to revisit memories or pain.

This time he paused in place and watched her walk down the stairs. Nobody made way for her like they used to. She was stuck behind a group of girls who had decided to chat on the stairs instead of waiting to get to the bottom of the steps. Normally she would just push her way through. He watched her actually walk around them, trying not to lose her balance on the stairs, to get to the railing on the other side. She had to maneuver around the girls walking down the stairs on the other side as well.

She wasn't smiling. She wasn't who she used to be at all. She actually looked skinnier than he ever remembered seeing her.

Chuck's payback really must have done a number on her. Blair always had to have everything absolutely perfect—he knew all too well. This had to be killing her.

He almost felt as though she deserved it.

But he couldn't think that. He didn't believe that.

It had taken him six months, and Serena returning, to finally tell her the truth. He knew how hard it had been for _him_ to admit that he'd slept with Serena. It must have been equally hard for her.

That didn't excuse what she did.

"_She wasn't your girlfriend!" Chuck said angry and exasperated._

And he was right. They weren't together when she'd been with Chuck.

Nate hadn't been able to give her what she wanted all those months ago. He'd tried and pretended for so long, but he couldn't keep up the lie. The entire situation with his father was clouding his mind. His father was the one who wanted Blair and Nate back together. Nate had bulked at the idea, but finally given in.

He knew that the best thing for him and Blair at the time was a little distance to clear their heads. He loved Blair, but he couldn't tell her that. He didn't want her to keep holding on when it was obvious they needed a break to figure out what they really wanted—well, what _he_ really wanted.

And so he had sent her away. She didn't have a meltdown like he thought she would. She covered her eyes and tried to be strong. She looked away and held back her tears even though they were shining bright in her eyes.

Then she told him that she didn't need him anymore.

He'd been floored. Not because she was agreeing to their break. But because he finally understood what love was all about—or at least a big part of it.

Need. You loved someone who you needed in your life. His father needed him, that's what she said. And Howard sure did need him. But Blair needed Nate too which is why she forgave him so often.

As she got into that limo to go to Victrola he was still processing everything and had come to the conclusion that if she didn't need him anymore, she didn't love him either. Of course that wasn't the truth, far from it, as he soon realized. She did need him. She did want him—as had become so apparent during his fight with Chuck on Saturday. She was just finally giving Nate the space he needed when she walked away.

And he did need her. It had taken far too long for him to realize that. Before the ball he finally understood that he had been going through the motions, pretending everything was fine, and never really knowing why Blair loved him to begin with. He had stayed with her because his father commanded it. He hadn't known why she stayed with him—especially after she knew the truth.

Now he understood a little more.

Blair's words had actually helped him reach his father.

"_Dad, I know it wasn't an accident," Nate said softly, seriously._

"_Of course it was," Howard said, trying to interject that Nate must be delusional. It ended up coming out less convincing than he hoped._

"_Dad, when I found you I thought you were dead," Nate said, upset as he remembered his panic and fear._

_Howard looked down, away from Nate. He hadn't meant for any of this to happen._

"_I'm sorry," Howard apologized. "I just didn't…I couldn't…" He couldn't face the humiliation and his mistakes. He didn't want to keep on living after the disgrace he'd brought to the family name._

"_Yes you can," Nate insisted. "Dad you have to, please," Nate begged his father. _

_Then he realized what Blair had been telling him all along… and what Howard had to hear more than anything right at this moment._

"_I know it might not always feel that way, but…" Nate trailed off before finally saying exactly what Howard needed to hear, "we need you." Nate whispered the last as he watched his father's face._

_A look that was a cross between slight surprise and slight hope flashed across Howard's face before he closed up again. But that was enough for Nate to know that he was finally reaching his father._

"_Dad, we need you," Nate said again with more firmness and conviction. He reached out to put his hand on his father's. _

Need. It was such a small thing really, but actually the biggest thing when it came to relationships. He realized that his mother had made living so difficult for his father. When you're handed everything, you don't have anything to live for. You just go through the motions and try to find something to make each day better.

Howard had been fine for a long time as he raised Nate and made the normal society appearances that were expected of him. He'd been fine sitting behind the desk at the job that Ann's father had given him. He'd been fine going through the motions.

Until someone offered him a chance to live-a-little with a "pick-me-up" given to him at the office…after that, it was all down hill.

He continued to watch Blair as she walked quickly away through the school gates.

She really was a shell. She really had lost everything.

He wished he had the _"little time machine"_ Chuck referred to on Saturday. He wished he could go back and shake himself. Say something like, "Wake up you idiot! She loves you and she needs you! And you need her too!"

But there was no such thing as time travel. And there was no undoing the past.

She had wanted to put the past in the past and leave it there. He'd been all for that until he found out that _she_ had a past.

But what _was_ that past really? He only knew bits and pieces. He didn't have the big picture. He knew she didn't want Chuck…but he didn't know why. He didn't know why she'd turned to _Chuck_, of all people, in the first place. And he didn't know why she'd slept with him after the ball only to avoid him for almost a month before he finally wore her down. _Did_ she have feelings for Chuck? Was that even possible?

He still had too many questions, and he wanted answers desperately. He couldn't quite bring himself to talk to Blair just yet. And he was never going to speak to Chuck again if he could help it. But he needed to know _something_.

He took out his cell phone and flipped open the top. He typed and quickly sent a text.

**we need to talk.**

He waited for the response.

**NO!**

He winced at the caps lock before responding.

**about blair.**

He waited. It took a full minute before the response came through.

**my suite, 30 min.**

Nate sighed and put his phone away. He threaded his way through the throng of people and decided to walk. He had time.

He just hoped Serena could shed some light on everything.

_

* * *

_

To be continued…


	8. Chapter 7

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about what was supposed to happen after The Thin Line… Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

**

* * *

**

Monday, February 4**th **_12 days until the Sweetheart Gala_

There was a knock on her door.

Serena took a deep breath before going to answer it. She didn't know why Nate wanted to talk about Blair. She hoped…no, she wasn't going to hope that Nate wanted to get back with Blair. If she hoped for it, it might not happen. Although she really wanted that to be the reason Nate was here.

Blair had been going through so much lately. She needed a little love from the guy she loved.

Serena finally forced herself to turn the door latch and opened the door halfway.

"Hey," Nate said nervously. He looked everywhere but at Serena.

"Hey," Serena said just as nervously. She'd been in this position before about three or four months ago. The Masquerade Ball seemed so far in the past now.

"Well?" Nate muttered before finally meeting her gaze, "Can I come in?"

"That depends," Serena said stonily.

"On?" Nate asked.

"Are you really here to talk about Blair?" Serena asked. She didn't know if Nate still harbored feelings for her. She was _so_ not inviting him in if there was any other reason behind this little visit.

"Yeah," Nate responded somewhat impassively.

Serena opened the door the rest of the way and gestured for him to enter.

Nate hesitated briefly before walking over the threshold and making his way quickly to the couch to sit down.

Serena slowly shut the door, taking another deep breath, before turning around and going to join him.

"So, what about Blair?" Serena said, trying not to snap at him as she settled onto the couch far away from him.

"I don't know," Nate said, sighing and running his hand through his hair.

Serena waited.

"I just…I saw Blair today," Nate winced. "For the first time in a while I didn't try to get away. I just stood and watched her leave school."

"So?" Serena asked.

"So…" Nate trailed off as he tried to figure out what to say. "She's not Blair any more."

Serena gave him a weird confused look.

"I mean…she used to be so full of life and happy…so confident," Nate tried to explain.

"And that bothered you? Seeing her like that?" Serena asked, trying to hold back her hope again.

"No, I mean, yes…I mean," Nate sighed. "I don't know what I mean."

"Nate," Serena said, telling him with her tone that he wasn't making much sense.

"I know I'm not making any sense. I've just never seen her that way before," Nate tried to explain.

"Well, what did you expect?" Serena said, trying not to snap at him once again. "She was publicly humiliated."

"I know," Nate winced again.

"And she lost everyone—all her friends, even _you_," Serena said pointedly.

"I just couldn't…" Nate trailed off. He couldn't forgive her. He could hardly look at her for so long. How could he be there for her after what she did to him?

"You couldn't what?" Serena asked. She wasn't going to second guess his thoughts. He was going to have to lay it out himself.

"I couldn't even look at her after I knew the truth," Nate said finally. "She lied to me. She made me think we were finally going to be able to start over. And we did. She just neglected to tell me we were starting with a lie."

"Nate…" Serena trailed off.

"She _slept_ with him, Serena," Nate said, finally looking at Serena. She winced at the hurt look in his eyes.

"Blair slept with _Chuck_," Nate said, emphasizing the name. It made him sick to his stomach just saying that out loud.

"She did," Serena agreed.

"Why? How could…? Ah," Nate closed his eyes and ran both hands through his hair as he hunched forward again.

Serena was quiet. She couldn't answer those questions for him, even if she knew the answers. Those were things he needed to ask Blair. The only time she'd ever brought up the subject with Blair they'd had a huge fight that almost ruined Thanksgiving.

"I just wish I knew…" Nate trailed off, not really wanting to ask this question but he knew it was at the forefront of his mind. He had figured out Saturday that Blair hadn't wanted Chuck…but she _had_ slept with him. Maybe she did want him at some point and still harbored those feelings somewhere…even while she was with Nate. Chills ran up his spine again. This was all too much.

"Does she…or did she…have feelings for Chuck?" Nate finally managed to ask.

Serena honestly didn't know. But she didn't think so.

"_Wait, you slept with him?!" Serena looked at Blair completely shocked. _

"_Shhh!" Blair whispered loudly, looking around._

"_Blair!"_

"_What happened to no judging?" Blair said sarcastically._

"_I'm not…but," Serena tried to overcome her shock to ask her question. "I thought you wanted to wait. I thought you wanted to make things special?" That had been Blair's dream all along and she respected her for it._

"_Oh, so Nate gets the free pass and _I'm_ the slut?" Blair said, getting huffy and defensive._

_Serena closed her eyes briefly. "Tell me you didn't sleep with Chuck for revenge?"_

"_Well it wasn't because I liked his natural musk," Blair said snarkily. "Besides, nothing hurts more than sleeping with the best friend, right S?"_

"_Way to prove a point," Serena said._

"I…I don't think she was thinking clearly…" Serena began.

Nate knew that. Blair had told him that herself. He waited for Serena to continue. She seemed like she wanted to say something else.

"I think she might have seen it as a way to get back at you," Serena continued, trying not to wince at the words.

"What?" Nate looked up, shock flooding him. Yes, he had that thought once, but he couldn't believe Blair would do it. She'd made him wait for so long; he couldn't believe she would turn sex into a way to hold a grudge.

"_She needed someone and I was there!" Chuck explained._

Nate couldn't really accept that she had sought comfort with Chuck either, but that was the conclusion he had come to after Chuck's words. Between seeking comfort, having feelings for Chuck, and holding a grudge… seeking comfort—though still just as bad—somehow made it just a tad easier to think about.

Serena wouldn't look at him.

"Is that something you _think_ or something she said?" Nate spit out the question.

"Nate," Serena said, looking at him again with pleading eyes, "I think you need to talk to _her_. Ask _her_ these questions."

"_What_ did she _tell_ you?" Nate insisted, turning toward her, his eyes flashing.

"You hurt her Nate," Serena said firmly. "We _both_ hurt her. You owe it to her to explain everything herself."

Nate turned away and stood up. He started pacing. He just couldn't believe she'd do it. He didn't know what was worse: that she might have feelings for Chuck or that she'd slept with Chuck because he'd slept with Serena.

"I can't talk about this anymore," Nate finally decided. He turned to start toward the door.

"Nate!" Serena shouted to get his attention.

"What?" Nate turned back, a little angry at her for not answering his questions and just making everything even more confusing.

"Just think about it, okay?" Serena said gently, her eyes pleading again. "Just think about it." She really wanted him to at least _talk_ to Blair. If only to give Blair some closure that she desperately needed. Even if Blair and Nate could only be friends…Blair needed _some_thing, _any_thing, right now to not make her feel as horrible as Serena knew she felt.

"Oh believe me," Nate said with disgust. "It's all I _can_ think about." He turned and finally left.

Serena sat quietly after the door slammed shut.

_That went well_, she joked to herself. But she didn't laugh. This wasn't a laughing matter.

Blair really _wasn't_ herself anymore. She tried to go through the motions and get on with her life, but she still had to fight the girls at school always giving her a hard time. Serena was there for her as much as possible, but she knew that she could never be enough.

At least Blair had a new friend. Elise was sweet and adorable. She was bouncy and fun and probably the best medicine for Blair at the moment.

Blair had explained that she didn't want everyone else at school to know that she was friends with Elise. She didn't want to bring Elise's reputation down with hers. Serena understood, but she still wished Blair had someone else to hang out with at school. It would make Blair so much happier.

Serena still hoped that Nate would come around—the hope wouldn't go away. She thought that he might be more open to listening to Blair soon…especially if Blair was still on his mind so much.

Maybe he just needed a little push.

She snagged her phone from her purse and dialed the familiar number.

* * *

"Hey S," Blair said, answering her phone and trying to fake enthusiasm. She was still feeling low about her dark thoughts of Chuck and Nate. "What's up?"

"You know that PVD party Matt's having this Friday?" Serena asked. PVD was otherwise known as "pre-Valentine's Day". Matt wasn't ripe with the wit for sure.

"Yeah, I heard about it," Blair said, trying not to sound glum. It wasn't like she'd been invited.

"I think we should go," Serena said, enthusiasm in her voice.

"Serena…" Blair said with a warning. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Come on Blair," Serena insisted. "Remember? People don't tell you who you are! _You_ tell _them_."

"I wasn't invited," Blair said.

"So?" Serena said. "When has that _ever_ stopped you before?"

Blair didn't respond.

"Come on Blair," Serena said. "I'll be with you. Everything will be just fine. Let's show them all that Blair Waldorf can't be beaten down so easily."

"I…I guess," Blair said softly. Serena had a good point. It was one she made before, but it never got old.

"Great!" Serena exclaimed. "Don't worry Blair, everything will be just great!" And Nate and Blair might get a chance to talk! Serena tried not to get too excited. Nate had been at the last party, so more than likely he would be at this one… and if he wasn't? Well… they'd make an appearance then leave.

"Yeah, great," Blair said dryly. She was beyond forcing enthusiasm. What she was feeling was closer to dread…but she knew Serena was right. If she was ever going to get her life back, she was going to have to push a little publicly and not just with her scheming.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school!" Serena said cheerfully now that her plan was falling into place.

"See you," Blair said before hanging up and sighing.

She'd already gotten a text from Elise that reassured her that the plan against Jenny was falling into place.

Why didn't that make her feel happier?

The Nate and Chuck memories wouldn't go away. And it was making her more depressed than usual.

She looked down at the table in front of her in surprise. She'd actually eaten the entire cherry pie. She put her fork down abruptly.

_Stop_, she needed to stop. She couldn't keep doing this to herself. She knew she shouldn't. She knew what all the counselors said.

She sat back and clenched her eyes shut. She tried to will herself to just forget about the pie. She could go for a walk or a run or do _something_ to exercise the pie away.

But she could feel her stomach rebelling at the food. She was too full. She could feel the fat thickening on her hips and her thighs as she sat there, bracing her self, trying to keep from going up those stairs. She shouldn't do it.

_I'm a Waldorf…I'm a Waldorf…I'm a Waldorf…_

She shouldn't do it. She shouldn't do it.

_When you were beautiful…_

She shouldn't do it. She shouldn't do it.

_I want nothing else to do with you Blair…_

She was going to do it.

_Just one more time_, she told herself as she scooted her chair back and slid to her feet. Just one more time and then she would never do it again.

But even as she walked up the stairs to her bathroom and turned on the faucet before sinking to her knees, the end of a toothbrush poised to slide against her uvula, she knew she was lying to herself.

This wasn't going to stop anytime soon.

**

* * *

**

Wednesday, February 5**th **_10 days until the Sweetheart Gala_

Jenny was the first to arrive home that day even though it was later than usual. She walked inside and almost slipped when her foot rested on something that was not hardware.

She steadied herself and flipped the light switch before looking down.

It was a plain white envelope addressed to her! _Some_one must have slipped it under the door!

She bent down and picked it up quickly, slamming the door shut behind her and racing to her room to flop on the bed.

She hadn't seen many glimpses of Nate in the past couple of days, but then she'd been really busy with the girls. And she didn't want any more rumors to go flying about the two of them. Gossip Girl's little post had been short lived because Hazel hadn't wanted that information to stick around for long—Jenny knew Hazel had a thing for Nate—plus there was no other proof that anything _was_ happening between Nate and Jenny. Jenny didn't want that rumor to continue anyway…at least not yet.

Only because she knew that Nate didn't want that.

She had been so excited about the first Valentine and who sent it that she was about to pop! But she held it in. She hadn't told a soul! Not even Kati and Is!

She couldn't wait to see what she would find in this letter.

She opened the envelope slowly lest she ruin it. She wanted to treat everything that Nate sent her with the utmost care.

It was another Valentine's Day card. This one had a big red heart across the front with gold embellishment of the words "Happy Valentine's Day". It was plainer than the last one, but much more elegant.

Jenny smoothed her hand down the front to feel the raised letters of the words before finally opening it to read inside. It was, once again, a blank card that held a message from someone who wished to remain a secret.

**Jenny,**

**I saw you yesterday at school. **

**I couldn't take my eyes off of you.**

**You didn't notice. At least I don't think you did.**

**No one else noticed where I was looking either.**

**Thank you for keeping this a secret.**

**You have no idea the relief I feel at knowing I can trust you.**

**I know you might want to talk about these feelings **

**I've begun to develop toward you, **

**But I wish to remain a mystery still.**

**I will unveil myself in time, like I said before.**

**Take care, Sweetheart.**

**Until I can write again... **

**Always yours,**

**Your Secret Admirer**

Jenny looked at the teeny letter beneath the signature again and frowned, a little confused when she saw a teeny tiny "R" instead of an "A" like last time.

What did that mean? An "A" and an "R"? Were they short hand for something? Adam? Regis? Had she been wrong about it being Nate? Was there some guy from Regis High School named Arthur or Adam or Alex or Andrew?

"AR," Jenny sounded out the letters together. Could it be spelling something out? Artic? Argentina? That made no sense. Arthur, Arc, Archie, Arny?

No… wait… Archie… _Archibald_! She laughed to herself for actually thinking for a second that her secret admirer might not be Nate after all. Of course he saw her yesterday. She _did_ eat lunch on the MET stairs. He could have been staring at her from across the street without her ever knowing it.

And he was even leaving an extra little clue in his letters to help her figure out his identity! He really was adorable. Jenny couldn't figure out why Blair would drop the extremely hot and sweet Nate for the vile and perverted _Chuck_.

She shuddered as she tried not to think about someone, namely Blair, willingly having sex with him. She'd actually kissed that sleaze herself! Or, truthfully, he'd kissed her and she'd been too uncertain and scared not to push him away and make him stop…at first anyway. And then he wouldn't take "no" for an answer.

Even though she was currently fighting with her brother because he didn't believe her when she said she hadn't sent the information to Gossip Girl, she was so grateful to have a brother who would drop everything—even in the middle of a date with his dream girl—to come save her. She was going to be okay. Dan had gotten there in time. She didn't have too many flashbacks anymore, especially not after she locked Chuck on a roof.

But Blair _had_ done the deed with Chuck, and poor Nate was still hurt by it. Not hurt enough to stop him from moving on in his feelings though! Nate Archibald liked her! Little Jenny Humphrey! The world was just perfect.

Now if only Nate could move on from the entire situation enough to come to her so they could finally be together! But the wounds were still pretty fresh. Jenny would respect his wishes. As long as he kept sending these beautiful little love letters, she was going to be putty in his hands.

She sank back onto her pillows with a dreamy sigh, clasping the card against her chest. _Mrs. Nathaniel Archibald_…._Mrs. Jenny Archibald_…._Mrs. Jennifer Archibald..._oooh, wait… perfect: _Mr. and Mrs. Nathaniel Archibald._ It had such a ring to it!

She hoped she'd get to see Nate on Friday at Matt's PVD party. She was excited at the prospect of talking to him again. She could probably just send him a text message…wait, she really _could_ do that.

She snagged her phone and sent him a text.

**hey there**

She waited for a response.

**hey**

Not exactly the long extended response she hoped for, but oh well.

**want 2g out 4 smoothies?**

She would never be so bold as to ask him that before, but she had proof now that he really did like her, so she felt much more confident. Plus, if she was ever going to get him to finish moving on and stop worrying about the public displays, she was going to have to get him to _go _out first.

**not a good time.**

Jenny tried not to feel the disappointment. But hey, at least she asked right?

**tis k. r u ok? if u need 2 talk…**

Jenny didn't have to wait long for a reply.

**im fine. g2g. bye.**

Well, she couldn't say he wasn't abrupt.

**bye.**

She didn't get another text from him after that, but she hadn't really been expecting to…although she still wished she had. She wondered what he was so busy doing. Maybe he was writing her another letter? She laughed to herself. She was making herself far too giddy about the entire subject. It was time to start her homework anyway.

* * *

Nate put his phone in his pocket quickly.

He knew something like this might happen after the stupid Gossip Girl text. Jenny might start to get the wrong idea and then he'd have to let her down gently.

Well, he hoped that had been gentle enough. And he really was busy. He was in the middle of slowly going insane from a kaleidoscope of memories of being with Blair and hanging with Chuck…and his stupid imagination ran wild at the possibilities of different "exchanges" between the two of them.

Ever since his talk with Serena on Monday, his final words had proven true. He couldn't stop thinking about Blair. No matter how hard he tried. It was driving him crazy.

Maybe it wouldn't be so hard if he'd never slept with Blair. At least then he wouldn't know what he was missing. Blair had been wild and eager and so perfect, he couldn't believe it.

Now he could. He winced inwardly at the thought, but he couldn't escape it. Blair had been perfect because she'd already had some practice with the most experienced guy at St. Jude's.

On the one hand, it sickened him to think that Chuck had done him an unwitting favor by "helping" Blair get so good. On the other hand, his pride was taking a terrible fall because he couldn't help but wonder if she thought Chuck was better than him in bed.

She _had_ made Nate wait almost a month before finally forgiving and getting back with him. What was up with that month? The ball was perfect and then he'd gone to Monaco. When he came back, she wouldn't talk to him or have anything to do with him. Why?

Maybe Serena was right. Maybe he did need to talk to Blair. He just couldn't do it, not yet anyway.

He sighed. It was Wednesday. Friday was the PVD party. He almost didn't want to go, but he knew that he had nothing better to do. The guys had eased off considerably this week. The news had died a little and the guys were mostly done with getting their digs as they moved on to greener pastures. To say that he was relieved was putting it lightly.

He was going to check out the party. He was going to stay away from Jenny though. He did like her… as a friend. He needed to make a point with her so she didn't read _anything_ into their friendship. He hoped she got the point quickly so he could go back to talking with her as just friends.

He didn't know who else was supposed to be at the party, but he was going to try to have more fun at this one than the last. He really needed to start trying to move on with his life. He'd been stuck inside a bubble for too long.

He'd managed to make it all week without indulging in a joint too. After Chuck had left, he realized that he'd only ever started enjoying the herb because Chuck had Nate on one of those invisible strings that Howard and Ann and Blair liked to pull on.

Nate was tired of being someone's puppet, someone's robot. He was moving on with his life and he was going to make his own choices from now on.

_

* * *

_

To be continued…


	9. Chapter 8

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about what was supposed to happen after The Thin Line… Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

**

* * *

**

Friday, February 8**th****. The PVD Party.** _7 days until the Sweetheart Gala_

Another Friday night, another party: at least that's the way Chuck was looking at it. He could care less about the upcoming holiday. It was a time for love and hearts and all that crap that couples spout off about.

He wasn't part of a couple. He didn't enjoy being part of a couple. What he wanted to find _was_ a couple…a couple of girls to enjoy through the night and forget all his troubles.

The only thing he liked about the holiday was that it was for lovers. And he was quite apt at that.

So yeah, he was on the prowl. And Matt had invited some of the hottest pickings to choose from. He made a lap of the room looking for his next conquest. He saw a girl here and there that he was considering, but he was taking his time tonight.

As he was completing a lap he spotted Hazel, Jenny, Kati, Is, and some brunette who had hit on him at the ethics party. They were all standing in their little group. He would have walked past unperturbed, but he noticed that Hazel and Jenny were looking toward the front doors and seemed unhappy about something. Anything that could get those two pissed was noteworthy indeed. So he followed their field of vision.

It was Serena…and Blair. They had just arrived and were smiling, looking around the room as they got the lay of the land.

Why the hell did she have to be here? He had managed to avoid running into her at all. He hadn't been near her since that night at the bar all those weeks ago. And he knew she hadn't been at the last party, probably because nobody wanted her there. Well, nobody wanted her here tonight either.

But as he watched, the host himself came over to her and was obviously welcoming them as he checked out Blair who _was_ looking incredibly hot in a turquoise slip of a dress.

It had an empire waist that floated down to mid-thigh with thin straps holding up a bodice that emphasized her breasts. A simple silver necklace with a crystal teardrop hung around her neck, the teardrop dangling low and accenting her cleavage.

Chuck shifted slightly…and then he found himself ticked off as Matt put his arm low around Blair's back and escorted her over to the bar.

Serena followed them, enjoying the conversation. Serena had dressed in a sequined black top with hints of pink illuminating off. She had a black short pleated skirt that swished as she walked. She couldn't top the classy elegance that was Blair though.

Both girls were chatting and enjoying the attention of Matt. As Chuck continued to watch, Brandon came over to join them as well.

Obviously somebody wanted them there. And it wasn't any of the girls.

Chuck shook himself and continued his lap around the room. He didn't want to think about Blair tonight. She was the root of all his troubles. If it wasn't for her, he'd still be friends with Nate. If it wasn't for her, he wouldn't have had to acknowledge that he actually used to have a heart.

He found himself ignoring the rest of the girls and finding a spot in the shadows against a wall. It gave him the perfect vantage point to watch her without anyone the wiser.

Yeah, he didn't want to think about her. But every other girl at the party paled in comparison.

He found himself remembering their last conversation. He knew he'd been cruel. She deserved it after what she put him through.

Except she didn't…deserve it that is. He'd been hurt when she broke it off with him. He'd been heartbroken when she went back to Nate. He'd been angry and intent on destroying her publicly like she'd destroyed him privately when he sent that message to the gossip queen herself. And he'd been cruel when she came back to him as her last resort the night after her destruction.

He'd been cruel because he had lost one of the most important things in his life because of her. Or so he thought.

"_Blair didn't tell me anything," Nate said._

"_What?" Chuck asked with a confused look, squinting his eyes as he tried to figure out what Nate meant._

"_Blair didn't tell me anything," Nate repeated._

Blair hadn't told Nate that it was him. He didn't know who had told Nate—he could surely strangle whoever _did_ tell Nate—but it wasn't Blair.

That alone wasn't enough to forgive her for all that went down although he knew that he was the one who caused their break-up in the first place by manipulating her. But she knew how he was! She knew almost everything about him. Why couldn't she read his face at that moment? Why couldn't she see what he'd been trying to do? Why couldn't she see that he didn't mean to hurt her?

He had just wanted another chance. That's why he went after her at the ball. He wanted a chance to explain his actions. He knew she was mad and upset at him, but she couldn't be mad at him forever. He did it to be with _her_.

And he foolishly thought he could fix the problem. Nate had always apologized and then Blair caved and forgave him. Surely she would do that for him just this once. Surely he could convince her that they could work. He would make it work. He had never wanted anyone like he wanted her. He was willing to give anything, even beg if he had to, to make her take back her words so that the night would end on a happy note.

Except, she went back to Nate as soon as she saw her chance. She wanted Nate. Everything was always about _him_. The clueless bastard who whined constantly about being with her while he was with her, then whined some more when he realized Blair might not be missing him or pining for him as much as he thought she should.

"_You make me sick!" Blair said with disgust as she yanked away from his arms._

He made her sick alright. So sick she'd had no problem pretending like nothing ever happened between her and him. So sick that she could go from his bed straight to Nate's, spreading those perfect thighs and offering _Nate_ a chance at the happiness and bliss that Chuck had been the first to enjoy.

He dragged himself back to the view across the room. He watched her throw her head back and give a loud laugh at whatever Matt had just whispered in her ear. The little bastard wasted no time. He'd been the one to ask Chuck about Blair's capabilities in the sack. He was the one to spread the word that Blair wasn't any good. Of course Chuck had said it first, but still. That fact wasn't stopping Matt from putting the moves on her now though. Apparently all Matt needed to know was that she would give it up.

He wasn't going to go over there. He wasn't going to cause a scene. He didn't need anyone thinking that Chuck Bass was actually jealous.

Chuck finally tore himself away from the view in front of him. He turned his head and tried to look for that blonde he saw earlier who had given him an inviting smile. He hadn't been sure at the time if he could find another even better taker so he'd returned her smile before moving on.

Then he spotted a blonde…the only blonde that would make a world of difference to him to have in his life.

Nate.

_Shit_, Nate was here too. Talk about throwing a monkey into his wrench.

He needed a hit. He needed to be high for this. It was the only way he was going to relax and enjoy this party with the two people he most wanted to avoid in the same vicinity of him.

* * *

Blair was actually having a good time.

When she and Serena had first arrived, she shook off everything and put on the biggest smile she had in her arsenal before forging ahead.

She was slightly nervous when Matt came up to them immediately upon her arrival wondering if he was going to kick her out. But instead, he'd welcomed her with a charming smile and actually put his arm around her waist before escorting her and Serena over to the bar.

Melissa had told her—while mouthing off—that it was Matt who spread the hurtful rumors about Chuck saying she wasn't any good in bed. Obviously Matt thought Blair didn't know that or he wouldn't be flirting so openly with her. Blair just laughed and ate it up. She knew Matt was going to be surprised when he didn't get much further than a dance or two.

She wanted to cut him down, but seeing as how it was _his_ party, he was unwittingly giving her an opportunity to mingle with everyone else. All of the guests came to greet him when they arrived, and they stopped by to tell him what an awesome time they were having. Some of the girls were startled when they saw that _Blair_ was the one he was with, but they covered it up and acted nice. They didn't want to offend their host.

So Blair just flirted right back at him.

Serena was putting in her two-cents too. Brandon came by to try to chat up S, but she was having none of that. She did some mild flirting but eventually sent him away when he got a little too close. Serena hadn't invited Dan along. She knew he'd just feel uncomfortable, and she also knew that tonight was about Blair.

"Would you like another drink?" Matt asked, motioning to the bartender before smiling at Blair in a way that she assumed was supposed to be sexy. And he was a little cute… in a Reid from The Covenant type of way with all that white blonde hair…but she'd rather dump her drink on that hair than get close to him.

Blair held up her drink and eyed it carefully. "My eyes may be deceiving me, but I appear to have…why, what's that? It's alcohol! Still in the glass!" She smiled expectantly at Matt, wondering if he would continue her banter or take exception to her pointing out the obvious. She did not want to get drunk and disorderly tonight. Just have a wee bit of a buzz.

"The glass," Matt whispered in her ear as he reached up to wrap his hand around her hand that was holding the glass, "looked like it could use a touch up." He wiggled his eyebrows at her as he finger-walked up her arm.

Blair couldn't help but laugh. She even threw her head back. Serena had watched the entire display and just shook her head before rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her bottled water.

Serena was keeping an eagle eye out for everyone and everything. If anyone looked like they were about to start trouble, Serena would be on them in a minute. And if anyone, such as this chauvinistic pig hitting on Blair, tried anything with her or slipped something into her drink, Serena would kick that particular person where it hurts—so hard that even Chuck would feel the aftershock from the time she kneed him.

Serena was also keeping an eye out for a certain blonde. She was hoping to see Nate here. That was her real plan for coming here anyway. Sure, she wanted Blair to have a good time. And it was lucky that Matt had made Blair's arrival so smooth. But getting Blair back together with Nate was her _first_ priority.

Serena noticed Matt looking somewhere behind her.

He seemed to tense up before he asked Blair, "How about a dance?"

He was awful eager to get Blair up on the crowded dance floor quickly. Serena grew suspicious.

Serena swiveled around and peered through the throng of people. She spotted Nate standing by the door. He must have just arrived. She was about to excuse herself to go talk to him—she didn't need to keep an eye out for drink-dousing if Blair was going to dance. Of course Serena would make sure she got a new drink, in a new glass, before anything passed those ruby lips when she was finished dancing.

Matt must know that Nate would come over to greet him and didn't want to have any trouble. So he was going to drag Blair to the dance floor. Serena had to give him credit for knowing how to avoid a confrontation. Now she just needed to go have a small one of her own.

"Sure!" Blair said before looking at Serena and grabbing her arm. "C'mon S, let's go!"

Serena felt her self being dragged along. _Guess I'll talk to Nate later,_ Serena thought. If Blair wanted her to dance with them, she must not want to be alone with Matt.

Blair let go when she felt Serena following. She was being tugged along by Matt anyway. He turned to walk backwards, facing her and smiled in appreciation as the next song began. It was an older song, but still a good one.

_I'm coming up so you better get this party started…_

_I'm coming up so you better get this party started…_

Blair and Serena loved this song and had danced to it many times before. They dove into the middle of the crowded dance floor with Matt and just let loose.

_Get this party started on a Saturday night  
Everybody's waiting for me to arrive  
Sendin' out the message to all of my friends  
_

Serena and Blair paused to strike a pose and nod their head for the next line of the verse, grinning at each other.

_We'll be looking flashy in my Mercedes Benz  
_

They were going to have some fun tonight. All of Blair's troubles went out the door and it was just Blair and Serena dancing together with Matt occasionally managing to work his way in between them. He especially had to get in on the action when Serena was standing behind Blair and they were both moving in a classic freak move.

He ended up in between them again facing Blair. He was starting to enjoy the dance a _lot_ more now.

And they continued on through at least four more songs. There was at least one Beyonce, one Timbaland, and Blair wasn't really keeping track of the songs. She just knew she was having an awesome time.

Then a few strands of a slow song began and she tried not to wince as Matt tugged her into his arms. She knew there was no way Serena could join in on _this_ particular dance. Especially not after Matt jokingly whispered in her ear something about "now we can be alone." She had just smiled like that was what she wanted too, but when he pulled her close, she looked over his shoulder at Serena and mouthed, "Help!"

_Oh I had a lot to say  
Was thinking on my time away  
I missed you and things weren't the same  
_

Serena didn't know what to do to get them separated without causing a scene…well, there were so many people at the party that no one would really notice. But Matt would notice. He could put them out, or he could make things worse. Serena had two ideas to help Blair. She hoped the first one worked. If not, she'd go for the second.

She nodded at Blair and held up a finger to indicate she should hold on for a minute. Blair rolled her eyes and tried to relax, just praying he didn't try to feel her up.

_'Cause everything inside it never comes out right  
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die._

"Nate," Serena said, finally finding him.

"Serena," Nate nodded. He'd been hanging out by the bar. That same blonde girl from the week before—Hazel, he now knew her name—had just walked away. She'd been slightly put off that he didn't want to talk to her. He wanted to laugh, but now Serena was next to him and all his humor had left him.

"Why don't you go talk to Blair?" Serena asked encouragingly.

_I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue  
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you  
And I know I can't take it back  
_

"She seems to be doing just fine on her own," Nate said knowingly, his eyes dragging over to the dance floor where Blair was snuggled up against Matt. He'd seen both Blair and Serena dancing earlier. He tried not to look at the dance floor too much after that.

_I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds  
And baby the way you make my world go 'round  
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry._

"Just go cut in," Serena insisted. Matt wouldn't kick Blair out if Nate was the one to interrupt things. Matt wouldn't want a fight. He knew Nate and Blair were broken up, but he didn't know how Nate would react to seeing his ex with someone else—just look what happened with Chuck.

Nate didn't want to listen to the words of this song, and he didn't want to dance with Blair. He wasn't even sure he wanted to talk to Blair period. "No," he said abruptly before grabbing his bottle off the bar and heading in the opposite direction.

_This time I think I'm to blame  
It's harder to get through the days  
We get older and blame turns to shame  
_

Serena sighed. Fine, it was time for plan B. She stood up and made her way to the back.

_'Cause everything inside it never comes out right  
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die._

Chuck had returned from his little "smoke" break feeling refreshed and just a little bit more squinty eyed. He put Blair and Nate out of his head and went searching for the _female_ blonde he'd spotted earlier. He found her pretty quickly and made his way over.

Things were moving along nicely now. He'd even gotten a kiss already, and she seemed to like snuggling up against him. He was wondering how much longer it would be before he could get her out of there when he happened to glance at the dance floor. All those people up there dancing and he still manages to spot Blair with Matt and Serena. They had obviously been up there for a while. They were starting to look a little rough around the edges, but they seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Then a stupid slow song started and Matt had Blair in his arms. Chuck involuntarily made a fist. He wanted to haul off and demolish the jerk. He was surprised that even his recent inhalation couldn't stop him from feeling anger. Pot was supposed to make you mellow. Chuck sighed and tried not to look at the dance floor again. If he didn't focus on the blonde, she was going to flake off and then he'd have to start all over again. He really wished this song was over soon though. He hated it.

_I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue  
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you  
And I know I can't take it back  
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds  
And baby the way you make my world go 'round  
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry._

Blair sighed with impatience when she finally felt Matt finish his hands' gradual slide down her back until they reached her ass.

She didn't jerk away. She wasn't into causing scenes after all. But she did look up at him and arch her eyebrows. "That will get you nowhere," she said reprimanding him but still maintaining their flirty atmosphere.

_Every single day I think about how we came all this way  
_

He grinned sheepishly before sliding his hands up to her back again.

Matt had been paying close attention to Miss Blair Waldorf all evening—especially once they got on the dance floor. He knew what Chuck had said, but he was beginning to think that Chuck was full of shit. No girl who was _that_ hot, with _those_ dance moves, could possibly be horrible in bed.

_The sleepless nights and the tears you cried_

Besides, he'd only asked Chuck if Blair was good enough for seconds. He'd obviously thought she was good enough for firsts. And Matt was no one if not an opportunist. This was his party and she hadn't been invited. He totally had the upper hand. And maybe, if he played his cards right, he'd have Blair Waldorf eating out of that hand before the night was over.

_It's never too late to make it right  
Oh yeah sorry_

He continued the slow dance with her, careful not to offend her in any other way, although he did give her a little twirl and a dip during the bridge of the song leading into the chorus. The smile she gave him let him know that she enjoyed the fact that he could really dance. A lot of the guys just hot-footed around and made dancing look silly, but Matt knew what he was doing on a dance floor. It was part of his charm…and his amazing ability to pick up girls when he was out. He just grinned to himself.

_I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue  
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you  
And I know I can't take it back_

Blair was glad she didn't have to listen to this song much. It was playing loudly, but she couldn't focus on the lyrics because she was too busy wondering what move Matt would make next. The song reminded her too much of two of the problems in her life. She wasn't going to think their names though. This wasn't a night to think about them. This was a night to think about moving on with her life and reclaiming her popularity.

_  
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds  
And baby the way you make my world go 'round  
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.  
I'm sorry baby_

"May I cut in?"

_  
I'm sorry baby, Yeah.  
_

Matt turned his head around at the tap on his shoulder and looked shocked and confused for a minute.

_I'm sorry._

Blair looked at the person behind Matt too. She hoped that this wouldn't turn out bad.

Then the first words of the next song started

_Step inside, walk this way  
You and me babe, Hey, hey!_

"Serena! I love this song!" Blair exclaimed as she looked at the person behind Matt who was grinning at her.

Serena knew this was one of the only classic rock songs Blair could stand and it was bound to make the entire crowd go wild.

Serena rushed forward to grab Blair's arm and tugged her along.

Matt could only watch feeling slightly frustrated as the two girls disappeared into the throng and the song heated up.

_Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on  
Livin' like a lover with a radar phone  
_

"That was brilliant," Blair yelled over the song to make sure Serena heard her.

Serena just grinned as they started moving to the song.

"How in the world did you get the DJ to play this?" Blair said.

"I have my ways," Serena yelled back. She had flirted outrageously with the guy. He was ready to tattoo her name on his ass and all too eager to play her request.

_Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp  
Demolition woman, can I be your man?_

"Hey!" the crowd roared along with the song's shout. The crowd was really getting into the song now.

_  
Razzle 'n' a dazzle 'n' a flash a little light  
Television lover, baby, go all night  
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet  
Little miss ah innocent sugar me, yeah_

_Hey!_

"C'mon!" Serena shouted along with the Def Leppard front man. She motioned to the people around her who were completely oblivious to everything about Blair as they enjoyed the rock song.

_Take a bottle, shake it up  
Break the bubble, break it up_

Serena and Blair lead the dancing into the chorus and the people around them grasped their enthusiasm for the song. They all started jumping as the music swelled during "break it up", one arm up in the air, mimicking the girls.

_Pour some sugar on me  
Ooh, in the name of love  
Pour some sugar on me  
C'mon fire me up  
Pour your sugar on me  
Oh, I can't get enough_

The crowd was loving it, but not as much as Serena and Blair were loving it. The lyrics were hot and everyone was getting into it.

_I'm hot, sticky sweet  
From my head to my feet yeah_

The girls made exaggerated movements as they slammed their hips to the side and back to the beat of the drums.

And they were off, having the time of their lives again…this time without the silly Matt trying to get in on the action. Serena had managed the seemingly impossible—getting Blair away from Matt without causing a scene _AND_ making Blair the co-center of attention. Serena really was brilliant when she wanted to be.

* * *

Blair and Serena couldn't stand the heat anymore. They needed water. They left the dance floor to hydrate. Some people actually seemed disappointed to see them leave. Blair just smiled and winked that she would be back.

She couldn't believe how well the evening was going. She knew that it wasn't going to be this easy, but reminding everyone how much fun she was definitely helped. She'd even danced with other girls and guys out there, and none of them cared. It was all part of the dance lingo anyway.

Serena reached the bar in front of Blair and asked for two waters. The bartender handed them over quickly. The girls twisted off the caps before downing half the bottles before pausing for air. They were really out of breath.

Serena gave her a wide knowing grin. Blair couldn't help but grin back. Serena had been right. This was the perfect opportunity to show everyone that she couldn't be beaten down. She loved her best friend so much!

"I'll be right back," Serena shouted over the music. She had just spotted Nate again and wanted to give things one more shot.

Blair just nodded. She'd screamed so much to the songs playing that she didn't feel like yelling again. She needed to go to the bathroom anyway. Serena went in a different direction of the restrooms so obviously that wasn't her destination.

Blair shrugged and smiled to herself. She watched the crowd dancing to some new Nelly Furtado song as she walked by. She moved to walk around someone blocking her way and then realized who that person was. She stopped.

"Jenny," Blair said with a smirk.

Jenny was on her way back from the bar to join her friends. She had seen Blair and Serena on the dance floor earlier. She didn't know what to say to Blair honestly. The last time she'd said anything to her Blair had threatened to destroy her. She still didn't know how Blair could possibly do that—Jenny never did anything that would be considered scandalous. Of course, all of Jenny's friends used to be Blair's friends and they had been quite horrible to Blair since everything went down.

"Blair," Jenny said with a matching smirk. She had learned everything she knew from Blair after all—so had the other girls.

Blair didn't say anything else, just continued to stand there. She did give Jenny a once over, keeping her smirk in place…making Jenny feel like Blair was examining her outfit and finding it lacking. What was wrong with an off-white dress with small capped sleeves, a modest bodice trimmed with gold fabric, a cinched waist and pleated thick skirt that stopped just above the knee? This dress had been difficult to make, but she'd done it and was quite proud of it.

"So, Matt huh?" Jenny asked snarkily. She was getting ticked that Blair could still make her feel less than worthy when _she_ had more pull than Blair ever could now. "I guess he's a step up from Chuck, but definitely a few down from Nate. You must not discriminate when it comes to who you sleep with."

Blair's eyes flashed but her smirk stayed firmly in place. "But I do when it comes to my friends, which is why you were never good enough to be one. Lack of style, lack of funds, lack of…" Blair's eyes traveled up and down Jenny again quickly, "class."

"So _I'm_ the one without class?" Jenny said, almost snorting on a laugh. "Try keeping your legs together Blair. It's quite an easy thing to do. But then you _like_ to do." Jenny hadn't been this mean to anyone since she received her newfound place in the "in-crowd". She was enjoying cutting Blair down though. She totally deserved it.

"Good one Jenny," Blair said. "Nice to know you've become another mindless sheep in the herd."

"Mindless? I doubt it," Jenny said. "And you're the mindless one for cheating on Nate. There _must_ be something wrong with you."

Blair's eyes flashed again, but she kept her control. She was not going to give away anything she had planning for Jenny by talking about Nate.

"You know what? I'm sick of this. I didn't cheat on Nate," Blair snapped. She didn't think this was any of Jenny's business, but maybe she could start spreading the actual truth for once. Well, probably not…but maybe Melissa could.

The brunette had just shown up to stand next to Jenny. Of course Melissa would come to help. And she'd be pissed too. Everyone knew Melissa had a thing for Matt.

"Didn't cheat?" Melissa laughed. "Then what do you call it?"

"I call it breaking up with my boyfriend and then going out with someone else," Blair said. She hadn't really gone "out" with Chuck, but she wasn't going into those particulars right now.

"Chuck? Yeah right," Melissa said as both girls laughed at the idea that Chuck Bass would want to date. "You cheated on Nate. Gossip Girl said it. Two guys in one week. If that's not cheating, I don't know what is."

"Don't believe everything you read," Blair snapped. She'd really had just about enough of all this. She wasn't the only one at fault here. None of this was any of their business, but they only knew half the truth and it was making her look even worse. "Think that I cheated on Nate all you want. Just know that he did it first," she spit out the words.

With that she walked away. She had to pee really badly now. She figured if she left instead of sticking around for more word-play she'd do more damage. They would be more likely to start to believe it. Of course she knew that saying something like that in front of Jenny might mess up her plans to destroy _Jenny_, but it had to be said. And if Jenny lost some of her hero worship for Nate thinking that he wasn't as perfect as she thought he was…well, who cares?

* * *

She finished up in the bathroom, washing her hands and adjusting a few curls to rest atop her head "just so".

She walked out of the room and made her way down the hall back to the party. She was only halfway there when an arm reached out and pulled her down a different hall that nobody was using.

She found herself pressed up against a wall that had a small ledge jutting out midway down. She was almost forced to sit on the thing. She looked at the person who grabbed her and started to get pissed.

"What are you drunk!" she snapped. She actually smelt the clinging smell of something sweet. "Or merely high?"

"One could only guess," Chuck muttered as he started to lean toward her.

She pushed him back. She couldn't believe he was touching her, let alone talking to her. What the hell was his problem? He didn't want to have anything to do with her. He couldn't have been clearer.

"Get away from me," Blair snapped at him. Great, she was having such a wonderful night. Leave it Chuck to try to ruin it.

"C'mon Waldorf," Chuck whispered as he leaned toward her again. He'd seen her brush off Matt and then couldn't take his eyes off her as she danced with Serena. She had managed to remind him once again of her "moves." The blonde had gotten ticked when he couldn't keep his attention on her and had moved on. Chuck didn't even see her leave.

"No," she said with a glacial look, pushing him away again. "You were very succinct, remember?"

"Yeah," Chuck said with a guilty look before he covered it up, "but that was before."

He put his arms on either side of the wall, crowding her, ignoring her hands against his chest trying to push him away as he put his face against her neck and started kissing her.

"Before?" she managed to ask, her strength weakening slightly as he started to nibble on her neck. He had to stop. '_What the hell was he doing?'_ she thought to herself.

"Before I knew you didn't tell Nate," he muttered before sliding his lips to her earlobe and pulling gently nipping at it.

Blair tried to move her head to the side, pushing at him again.

"Enough," she commanded.

"No," Chuck whispered. "I miss you," he said, pulling back slightly to look in her eyes as he said it. She looked at him with wide eyes, still angry and now very much confused.

He kissed her. She struggled against him, she didn't want this. She didn't want him to be kissing her at all. But he wasn't going to be dissuaded. He pressed his lips more against hers and slid his tongue against her lips, seeking entrance.

She knew she was weakening again. It was so hard to resist him right now. She found herself opening her mouth and allowing him inside. And then she was kissing him back. Her hands stopped pushing him away.

He leaned more fully against her, devouring her lips, enjoying the taste of her once again. She had this way of clouding his senses…and his senses were already a little askew from the joint he'd had earlier.

He pressed into her and she found herself finally sitting on that little ledge against the wall, her legs spread out a little as he moved against her. He groaned and pressed himself against her, enjoying the feel. She didn't know why she was allowing him to do this. The only thing she could think was that it had been so long since someone wanted her or held her.

He reached down and grasped her right thigh before dragging the leg up to rest around his hips. It gave him a better angle as he rubbed the part of him that was most aching for her against the very spot he wanted to be inside at the moment. She moaned and bucked her hips against him, their mouths still meeting furiously.

Serena had managed to find Nate. Nate had put her off once again. He'd seen Blair dancing and had seen her looking more alive than she'd been recently. He didn't want to talk to her, he told Serena that. He'd walked away only to see Blair leaving to go down the hall to the restroom. He stood against a wall and tried to talk himself out of going to her. He wrestled with himself, telling himself that he shouldn't but maybe he should. He'd done that for a while before realizing she hadn't come back to the party yet.

He decided that maybe he would talk to her. He pushed away from the wall and started down the hall. He was only halfway down when he heard sounds of moaning off to the side. For some reason he decided to look. He was probably trying to stall the conversation with Blair as long as possible.

He froze when he saw Blair pressed up against a wall kissing Chuck who was pressed against her and moving against her with her leg up around his hips. Pain and anger slammed through him as he saw Chuck slide his hand up that leg and go under her skirt.

Nate turned around from the opening and pressed himself up against the wall, clenching his eyes shut and fisting his hands. He wanted to go down there and break it up. He couldn't believe he'd been considering talking to Blair. It was obvious she had feelings for Chuck or she wouldn't be doing that with him. _God,_ it hurt. And his rage wouldn't quit. He tried to get control of himself, trying to figure out what to do.

Blair had been so wrapped up in Chuck that she didn't think about where she was or what could happen if anyone walked in on them. Then she felt Chuck's hand sliding up under her skirt. She enjoyed the feel at first until he hooked his fingers under her pantyhose and started to drag them down. She realized that if she didn't stop him, he was going to take her up against the wall. She didn't want that. She was shocked back to reality with the feel of his fingers against her skin.

"Stop," she said, pulling her face away and her hands back up.

He wasn't listening to her. He was too far gone and just wanted to be inside of her. He pressed on, kissing her neck again since she'd turned her head away. He was still working on her damn tights.

"I said, that's enough," she snapped. Chuck didn't stop.

Nate heard her words and his eyes widened as he realized that maybe Blair wasn't as into it as he thought. Chuck had tried this crap with a lot of girls. Was he actually trying to take advantage of Blair? Nate turned around, and started toward the hall again.

Blair wasn't pleased. She reached up and grabbed his hair, yanking on it hard. He finally pulled back with a yelp. "Enough," she said again as she pushed him away and started fixing her hose.

"Waldorf," Chuck whispered, his eyes glazed over with passion as he tried to push her against the wall again, "You know you miss this too."

She didn't even have to struggle with him again. Nate grabbed him and pushed him against the wall on the other side of the hall.

She looked in shock, dreading what was about to happen…and more than slightly horrified that Nate had witnessed any of this.

"She _said_ that was enough," Nate growled at him.

If Chuck wasn't thinking clearly before, he was now. He winced inwardly. He already knew that he was pretty much up shit's creek with Nate. Now it was probably going to get even worse.

Chuck raised his arms in surrender. "I'm leaving," he said, giving up and stalking away.

Nate wanted to grab him and pound on him, but he wanted to make sure Blair was okay.

He turned to look at her. She was struggling with adjusting her clothing without pulling her dress up to do it.

"Are you okay?" Nate managed to ask quietly. He didn't really know what to say. He didn't know what to make of this entire situation.

She finally finished and looked up at him. "I'm fine. I can take care of myself." She turned and stalked away from him too. She was embarrassed and she didn't know what to say to Nate. He didn't want to have anything to do with her anyway, so he should be relieved that she was making it easier.

Nate just watched her go. Anger, confusion, and frustration swelled through him. He slapped his hand against the wall and let out a deep breath. He didn't care. She didn't need him. And he didn't want anything to do with her. He'd told Serena a million times that he wasn't going to talk to Blair. Then why was he left with even more questions now than he'd had before?

He just wanted this damn insanity to end. When would life ever get back to some sort of normal? He let out an "argh" as he ran his hands through his hair and tried to calm down.

* * *

"What's up?" Serena asked as Blair came up next to her. Blair seemed a little distressed.

"It's time to go," Blair said. She grabbed Serena's hand and tugged her off her stool.

"Why? What happened?" Serena was confused. Blair had been having such a great time. Serena had been gearing up for some more dancing.

"I want to leave," Blair snapped. "Fun time is over."

Blair let go of her arm and started walking toward the exit.

Serena just sighed and followed her. She wondered what had made Blair want to leave so suddenly. Hopefully she'd tell her when there weren't so many people around.

_

* * *

_

To be continued…

**Songs Used**

Get This Party Started: Pink

Sorry: Buck Cherry

Pour Some Sugar On Me: Def Leppard

**_Links to all songs can be found in the Author Notes on my profile page. (If you haven't heard "Sorry" you need to!)_**


	10. Chapter 9

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about what was supposed to happen after The Thin Line… Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

* * *

**Saturday, February 9****th****. Around 2 a.m.** _6 days until the Sweetheart Gala_

"Talk to me," Serena insisted.

She was sitting with Blair in the back of her limo. Blair had made sure they would arrive and leave in style. Blair hadn't said a word since they got in the limo, just stared stonily straight ahead, her arms crossed like she was mad about something.

"Did someone say something to you?" Even as she asked it, she knew that couldn't be the problem. Blair was having a good night and she would have been more than ready for any snide remarks. Her confidence was returning.

"Jenny had something to say, but I put her in her place," Blair said without looking at Serena.

Blair didn't know what to say. She knew she owed Serena some sort of explanation. Blair didn't even know what she was feeling. Well, that wasn't entirely true. She knew she was embarrassed. And she knew she was a little shocked at Chuck…

He hadn't said one word to her since his oh-so-wonderful rejection a month ago. And he didn't say anything to her at first tonight either. He just tried to kiss her.

She didn't know what she'd been thinking. She should have made him back-off as soon as he started in on her. She'd been thrown off by his words. He thought she had been the one to tell Nate about them? Was he crazy? She would have never told Nate the truth.

She had gone to Nate's house to deny every single thing that Gossip Girl posted. She wasn't sure if she could look him in the face and lie to him. Part of her still wondered if she would have given in and told the truth. She would never know.

She thought Nate wouldn't believe the text. He had always trusted her. She'd never given him any reason not to. But he'd entered the house angry and she knew that he had to believe it. The look on his face… he was so disgusted and hurt. She tried so hard to explain, to make him understand… but he hadn't wanted to hear it.

"_You and Chuck deserve each other," Nate said with disgust._

"_You know Chuck would say anything, twist the truth!" Blair exclaimed, trying to still deny the truth. Chuck couldn't win this! After everything he'd put her through, he could have said anything to Nate. He probably made everything worse with whatever he said._

"_Yeah but Jenny wouldn't," Nate said, completely exasperated._

_Blair was startled, and confused… "Jenny?" What did Jenny have to do with this?_

"_And don't go blaming any of this on her Blair. I would have found out eventually," Nate said._

_Blair was still a little thrown about the new information. But she knew that Nate would have never found out if Gossip Girl had never sent that post. _

"_I said I'm done, now will you please leave," Nate said with finality in his voice._

_Blair heard what he said, but she was still in denial. They couldn't be over. They'd just gotten back together! Everything was going to be so perfect! She couldn't move. _

And she hadn't moved. He left instead. He couldn't get away from her fast enough.

She'd finally been able to move her feet and had left, feeling completely drained. Not knowing what to do now. And she'd gone through the motions… she blamed Serena for Jenny finding out… which caused their fight. She tried to act like nothing had changed the next day when she met up with her friends…but they threw it in her face. They turned their backs on her…when she needed them most. They turned their backs on her for a little runt of a poor girl who wasn't good enough to take Blair's place.

Nate had already turned her away… so she finally admitted defeat and went in search of the root of all her troubles.

And what followed tore at her so much that she couldn't even speak. She listened as Chuck explained to her exactly how worthless she was. She held back tears as he used his stupid wit to tell her exactly how much of a whore she was. Of course he would know one when he saw one. He was practically an expert on whoring. As if she didn't already feel like a slut. As if she hadn't already beaten her self up constantly about not telling Nate the truth.

Her mother had mentioned her "condition" the morning before. She had been ridding herself of all the comfort food she'd indulged in to escape from the guilt and stress of having Chuck dog her at every turn while she tried to keep up appearances with Nate. She was also very much afraid that she might be pregnant. She tried to deny it to Serena…she wished she had never told her about her period being late. She hadn't expected Serena to hound her so much. And she hadn't expected her to go to _Chuck_ with the information.

Relief couldn't even begin to describe the feeling that had shot through her when she read the negative result on that little stick.

But the relief had been short lived.

Everything just fell apart after that.

And now Chuck was trying to screw her in darkened hallways? _I thought he didn't want me,_ she thought sarcastically. _I thought I wasn't beautiful. I thought I wasn't fascinating. I thought I was a whore._

She cringed inside as all the emotions of _that_ night welled up inside of her, coupling with the events of the current night. She'd been trying to hold it back for so long. She didn't want Chuck to be the reason she cried. She had never told Serena what happened. Serena didn't even know that she'd been seeing Chuck secretly after her birthday.

She stared straight ahead at the limo divider. Of course she was a whore. Why else would she respond to Chuck's perverted advances? She'd told him "no" and then what did she do?

She kissed him back. She stopped struggling and she opened her mouth for him. She leaned back and spread her legs open for him. She had thought about nothing except for the passion coursing through her veins and the pressure building between her thighs. It had felt so good to be held again, to feel wanted after being ignored for so long.

She tried to bite back the gasp as she fought for breath, but the tears wouldn't stop and neither would the exaggerated heaving of her shoulders. She really was a whore. How could she have given in to Chuck? How could she?

Serena was looking at Blair, more than a little concerned.

"Blair, honey, talk to me," Serena said, scooting up next to her and wrapping her arm around her, holding her close. "What's wrong?"

Blair didn't say anything for several long minutes before finally giving a frustrated cry and burying her face into Serena's shoulder. Serena winced at the loud cries Blair let out, muffled only by her mouth being buried against Serena's top.

Blair said something through her tears, but Serena couldn't make it out.

"What? I couldn't hear you," Serena said.

Blair sucked in a deep breath and tried to steady herself to explain. "I'm a whore!" As she reached the end of the word, she lost it again, burying her face into Serena's shoulder once again.

"No you're not, you're not," Serena insisted as she stroked Blair's back. She didn't understand where this was coming from.

"Yes, I am. I'm a whore. I'm a slut. I'm ugly and fat. I'm a bitch. I'm disposable. I'm worthless," Blair said the words, crying out all the pain, everything she'd felt with Chuck's words.

"Blair, no you're not," Serena said… she tried to think of a way to reach her. "Well, maybe a bitch, but that's not everything about you. We're all a little bitchy sometimes."

Blair guffawed through her tears, but she still didn't stop crying although the tears seemed to have subsided some.

"You're not all those things Blair," Serena tried to reassure her. Blair just kept shaking her head, denying what Serena was saying.

"Blair, why do you think that?" Serena asked. She didn't understand what Blair was feeling. She didn't know how she reached this conclusion.

"Why, B?" Serena asked, using her nickname for her best friend.

"He said…" Blair tried to begin, but she couldn't continue.

"Who, Blair? Who said those things to you?" Serena asked. Who would tell Blair all that? She'd tried to get Nate to talk to Blair, but surely he wouldn't have said any of that. It didn't make any sense.

Blair tried to take some breaths to calm down. She looked up at Serena and saw her looking furious. "Was it Nate? What did he say to you?" Serena would slap him herself.

Blair looked down and shook her head.

"Who, Blair?" Serena asked again, wondering if maybe Matt had caught up with her and been pissed that Blair didn't want to have anything to do with him.

"Chuck," Blair muttered under her breath. She didn't want to say his name. She really didn't.

Serena barely heard what she said, but it wasn't hard to put the sounds of the first and last "c" noises together and figure out the name.

"_Chuck?_" Serena said, completely livid. "What did he say to you in there? I could kill him!"

Blair shook her head. She tried to speak…

"What?"

"He didn't say that tonight," Blair said.

Serena looked confused…well if he didn't say that then what was going on?

"He said that a month ago… I tried to leave the next day," Blair said, finally telling Serena about that day.

Serena sucked in a breath. What did that mean? And how could Chuck say that to her? How? As far as she was concerned, Blair had lowered herself to be with _his_ worthless hide. She wanted to talk about that night more and figure out what Blair had been feeling… they hadn't discussed Chuck at _all_. It was a subject that Serena had always seen as extremely taboo since Blair's reaction during the holidays.

But she decided now was not a good time to talk about it. Something had happened _tonight_, at the PVD Party… and that was the cause of Blair's distress.

"So… what happened at the party?" Serena asked quietly.

Blair's tears had almost finished. She was just lying against Serena now, learning to breathe again.

"He grabbed me and kissed me," Blair whispered.

"What?" Serena asked, growing a little angry.

"We were alone and I told him to stop, but he kept trying…" Blair trailed off. She didn't know how to explain.

"Blair, did he hurt you?" Serena asked gravely. She knew exactly what Chuck was capable of.

"I kissed him back Serena!" Blair cried out. She lowered her head in shame. "I'm a whore! I don't know what I was thinking! He kept coming at me and I couldn't stop!"

Serena tried to understand…but not knowing all the details was really throwing her through a loop.

"So you wanted…" Serena tried to ask, wondering if Blair had sex with Chuck and that was why she was so upset.

"NO!" Blair cried out. Then she sobbed, "Yes… I don't know. I'm a whore."

"Blair, I don't know a lot about this whole Chuck thing… but I do know you. You are not a whore," Serena insisted. "Having sex with Chuck tonight may not have been a good decision, but you could never be a—," Blair interrupted her.

"I didn't have sex with him!" Blair exclaimed.

"Well then why are you so upset? It didn't happen. You didn't give in B," Serena said patiently. She was relieved to hear that Chuck hadn't taken full advantage of her.

Blair heard what she said and she did feel a little better. Then she remembered the rest.

"Everything is just so horrible!" Blair exclaimed.

"I know…"

"No, you don't know! Nate walked in on us. He saw me struggling with Chuck… I don't know what else he saw," Blair said, moaning as shame coursed through her.

"Oh Blair…" Serena said dejectedly. She had tried so hard to get Nate and Blair back together. Trust Chuck to ruin all the advances she had made.

The limo came to a stop in front of Blair's building.

Blair tried to get a hold of her self before exiting the vehicle.

"Do you want me to come up with you?" Serena asked. She was really hoping she could. She wanted to ask more about Chuck. She needed to know exactly how bad she was going to hurt him for doing all of this to Blair.

"Why?" Blair said with sarcastic humor, "You want to join in on my pity party?"

"And will it be a party?" Serena asked.

"I'm pretty sure there's ice cream in the freezer. Nothing says I'm depressed like a galloon of strawberry cheesecake icy goodness," Blair rolled her eyes before wiping away a stray tear.

"My favorite," Serena said, trying to interject some cheer.

"Fine," Blair said before getting out and leaving the door open.

Serena followed her quickly. She really hoped that some answers were awaiting her at the top of that elevator.

* * *

_**Back at the Party, same night**_

"Wow, do you think she was telling the truth?" Melissa said to Jenny.

Blair had just left them; rushing off before they had a chance to put her down some more. Melissa was shocked that Blair Waldorf had actually walked away from an argument, especially when she was on top of her game like she seemed to be tonight. She'd only seen the back of Blair Waldorf once before… when she and Hazel had called her a whore and offered a few phone numbers for her to try out.

If Blair was walking away tonight…

"_Think that I cheated on Nate all you want. Just remember that he did it first!"_

Did Nate Archibald actually cheat on Blair Waldorf? And how was it that nobody else knew? Wow…that was big. That was extremely big news.

"Of course not," Jenny said quickly, trying to stop that rumor in its tracks. She watched Blair leave and was having pretty much the same thoughts as Melissa. She shook herself out of the doubts circling her mind. Nate was a good guy. He didn't cheat… except he had told her when he thought she was Serena that he had feelings for her. But Jenny hadn't drawn the conclusion that Nate had actually _slept _with Serena. Would he have? Would she? Well, maybe Serena would… but… no. Jenny was not going to believe it. And she wasn't mentioning a word.

They wondered over to the rest of their group, hanging out in one of the many little sitting areas with high top tables and bar stool seats. Jenny hoped Melissa wouldn't say anything about the little exchange. Maybe she had succeeded in making Melissa doubt it.

She thought wrong.

"Oh my God, you will never believe what Blair Waldorf just said to us," Melissa said almost as soon as she sat down.

Kati and Is shifted uncomfortably. Blair was still a sore subject with them. They hung out with the other girls now and were enjoying it… but they still felt bad about leaving Blair in the dust. Blair had sniped at them and given them disparaging glances over their choice in guys. And she _had_ been a hypocrite if she would actually sleep with Chuck while going out with Nate… but… She had been their friend… and they kind of missed her.

Hazel just rolled her eyes. "What did the little slut say?" She really disliked Blair and was glad that she had fallen so hard. She took pleasure in every word she said to Blair, especially when she called her "a pregnant little hypocrite." Ah, she really had to write that one down.

"She said that she didn't cheat on Nate. That she actually went _out_ with Chuck while her and Nate were broken up!" Melissa said excitedly as she dished the latest news, reveling at one-upping Gossip Girl this time.

"Whatever," Hazel said, dismissing the idea. It wouldn't do for people to think that Blair wasn't as horrible as they thought she was.

"And that's not all!" Melissa went on as if she hadn't heard Hazel at all.

Everyone looked expectantly at her.

"She said that _Nate_ cheated on her!" Melissa exclaimed, grinning once again at her news.

Kati and Is looked a little baffled. Jenny looked very glum. And Hazel was rolling her eyes.

"Of _course_ she'd say that Melissa," Hazel shook her head. "You proclaimed that she was dethroned yourself. Of course she would make up some story to try to get back into our good graces."

"And trying to make us think badly of _Nate_ in the process!" Jenny continued. She wasn't going to sit back and just let Melissa and Blair spread rumors about Nate. "That's a low blow, even for her."

Hazel nodded at Jenny in approval. Melissa looked a little disappointed that no one was taking the news seriously. Well, Jenny _had_ told her that it couldn't be true. She probably should have listened to her before spouting off to everyone. Melissa gave Jenny a weak smile.

Jenny just smiled back, glad that the rumor had officially been stopped in its tracks.

But she was wrong. She just didn't know it.

Kati and Is were looking at each other remembering how bad the relationship between Serena and Blair had been at the beginning of the year. Neither of them knew what had happened. They had been extremely confused, but completely supportive of Blair…the friend that _hadn't_ left.

"_You would never do what Serena did," Blair said, smiling at them but still not explaining anything to them._

If Serena had slept with Nate…that would explain everything. They both stared at each other, thinking what the other was thinking. That was how they worked. They had been best friends for so long that they could read each other's minds. It was just one of those unexplainable things.

And Blair would have never lied about going out with Chuck. She would keep it a secret… Kati and Is would have been weirded-out to know about it… but Blair was always loyal. And she never lied. She got angry when anyone _did_ lie to her. Blair didn't lie, she just didn't disclose information. If Blair said all those things… it was true.

Kati and Is directed their attention back to the conversation around the table that had turned to Melissa and her next attempt to get with Matt. Matt was into her alright, but he only wanted "in" to her. He wasn't going to hang around for any other relationship than the "wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am" kind. Kati and Is could have told her that. They could also tell her that Matt's moves on the dance floor in no way compared to his moves in bed… but they figured it would be better to keep silent about that.

They were going to have to discuss the entire Blair and Nate thing later…in private. But for now, they were just going to hang out with their friends. And there was a particular guy they had their eye on who seemed to be eyeing them right back.

He looked a little like Adam Rodriguez from CSI: Miami.

They were wondering if his gun was just as big.

* * *

_**Blair's penthouse. Around 2:30 a.m.**__ same night._

"So…" Serena began.

They were sitting on Blair's bed surrounded by every comfort food they could find with Breakfast at Tiffany's playing across the room. She hadn't pigged out like this in a while and was surprised she was doing it with Blair.

Serena had a fleeting thought about the possibility that Blair was still throwing up whatever she ate. But she put the thought out of her mind. Blair would have told her. Even after their fight on Thanksgiving, Blair had still called her. And now they were closer than ever. Surely Blair would tell her if she was having problems again.

Blair was a teenage girl… and just like every teenager—and woman—before her, she was allowed to vegg-out in bed and gorge herself when she was down. Serena had done this a lot with her mother. It was just a girl thing.

"So…what?" Blair asked, glancing up as she licked the back of her spoon. She was almost finished her second bowl of ice cream. She was wondering if she could get away with another bowl…or maybe she should try out the cookies instead.

"Can we talk about him?" Serena asked carefully.

"Who?" Blair said, dragging the box of cookies over to her. They were chocolate-chunk. Definitely too decadent, but what the hell?

"Chuck," Serena said just as carefully.

Blair glanced up at the name, wondering why Serena would even bring him up now, much less want to talk about him.

"Please," Blair snapped.

"I know you don't want to… but it might help for you to get everything off of your chest," Serena said. "What happened that night Blair? Why did you go to Chuck to begin with?"

Blair was silent for a long moment as she chewed a small bite of her cookie.

"He was the only one left…" she said softly. "Even after everything…I had lost everyone… even _you_. I just… I didn't want to be alone." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had ended up being alone anyway.

Serena knew that Blair and Chuck had always been friends before their disastrous affair. Just as she and Chuck had been friends before he tried to take advantage of her when she came back from boarding school. She understood that Blair had turned to Chuck… she hoped Blair had turned to him as a friend. She had to find out.

"Was it really about revenge?" Serena asked. Blair glanced over at her, a question on her face. Serena went on to explain. "Sleeping with Chuck? Was it really about getting back at Nate?"

Blair turned away to watch the television screen for a moment. She watched the actors on screen in front of her before finally whispering her answer, "No."

Serena sighed in some relief. She couldn't handle knowing that Blair had used her body to hold a grudge…especially since _she_ was the one who Nate betrayed Blair with.

"Then why?" Serena asked gently.

Blair was good for the long bouts of silence. She had to really think through her answer.

"I was so tired," Blair finally responded.

"You were sleepy?" Serena asked, perplexed.

"No," Blair shook her head, a slight smile of humor forming on her face at the thought that she could have slept through any of her time with Chuck.

"I was tired of everything. Tired of waiting for Nate. Tired of giving Nate everything and not getting anything in return… even his love. Tired of being a virgin. Tired of not really experiencing anything. Tired of feeling as though nothing was ever going to be right again. Tired of trying to make everything so damn perfect," Blair explained everything as best she could.

"Tired of being Nate's second best," Blair finished softly.

Serena was silent for a long moment…just taking in everything she said. Blair had slept with Chuck because of Nate… but more because of the way Nate treated her. So, why Chuck? He couldn't have possibly given her the things that Nate didn't give her. Could he?

"And Chuck did all those things?" Serena asked.

"No," Blair finally gave her trademark smirk with a small laugh.

She grew quiet again for a long moment.

Serena began to wonder if Blair would say anything else. Then she did.

"He was so gentle, S, so sweet. He made me feel beautiful," Blair whispered.

As Serena watched, a tear trailed down Blair's cheek.

"He made me feel like I was the only person in the world to him. That was something Nate could never do…because I wasn't," Blair continued on, still whispering.

Serena held her breath, not really wanting to hear what else Blair had to say because she knew it would change a lot about the entire situation.

"I kept seeing him after Thanksgiving…you know?" Blair said, finally flicking a glance toward Serena. Serena hadn't known. She didn't act shocked like the last time she had found out about them. She just waited patiently for Blair to continue.

"It was so…" Blair searched for the word to describe things… "different," Blair finished.

She looked at Serena.

"Different?" Serena asked, encouraging her to continue.

"It was fun. It wasn't filled with angst and pain like everything had become with Nate. We were just like we'd always been, only better. It was all a secret, but we had actually talked about being an "us". I didn't know for sure if it would ever _really_ work. But…we tried," Blair said. She had tears in her eyes again.

"Blair…" Serena said, shocked at what she was hearing… not quite comprehending how it was Chuck Bass that Blair was talking about.

"He wanted to be with me Serena," Blair said. "And I wasn't going to go back to Nate, not even when he asked me to the ball. I really was just going to go with him as friends."

"So what happened?" Serena asked.

"He…I…" Blair shook her head as she composed the words. "I told him that if we were ever going to really make this work…if I was ever going to be able to be on his arm in front of everyone for the world to see… that he was going to have to learn how to behave."

"I see…" Serena said, trailing off. She understood. Blair may have gone away from her perfect idea of life in private, but in public… her image was just too important to her. It was hard for Blair to get away from.

"And then he did it again," Blair sighed. "He manipulated Nate into thinking I was dating _Carter_. He was the one that caused Nate to make that scene."

Serena had known some of that story. She thought Gossip Girl had gotten the footage about Carter and just spun it with her own form of truth. The footage must have come from Chuck...

"And I was so angry S," Blair said, looking at her with wounded eyes. "I had actually begun to believe that maybe it _would_ work out. I was so happy with him. But when he did that, I knew that he wasn't going to stop. I knew that he didn't really care about what I wanted. I told him what it would take if he really wanted to be with me. Obviously he didn't really want to."

"Oh Blair…" Serena felt as though she'd been saying that a lot tonight. She was so glad that Blair was finally opening up to her. She just wished she had known more before.

"I was so angry Serena… but I still didn't want to be alone," Blair explained sadly. "Nate was offering me a chance to get back with him. I knew that was what he was doing. He has asked me for forgiveness so many times before; I knew that he wanted to fix things finally. And so I went back to him."

Serena sat quietly, wondering if Blair would say anything else.

"I broke up with Chuck and I went to Nate…and Chuck could never forgive me for it," Blair said, tears still coming down. "I don't know how everything got so messed up. Nate, Chuck, it's all such a mess. And then Chuck said all those things to me and it just drove home the fact I had already realized the night of the ball."

"Chuck didn't want to be with me. He was just playing with me. I was probably just his latest conquest that he wasn't quite finished with before I left him. He was probably angrier that I dumped him and not the other way around," Blair said.

"And tonight was probably just his way of drilling home the fact that I was so disposable in his life. He claimed he missed me," Blair said, exasperation showing through her tears. "He probably didn't have another better offer at the moment and figured I was a slut, I'd do in a pinch." Blair swiped angrily at her eyes.

"Blair, honey, you need to stop," Serena said, scooting the cookies out of the way before sliding over next to her. "You are not a whore."

"Yes I am," Blair said woodenly.

"You are not!" Serena said. She shook her head when it looked like Blair was about to say something else. "You care about Chuck," Serena shook her head again when it looked like Blair was going to deny it.

"B, you cared about him. That's why this hurts so much. That's why you gave in to him tonight. If he was any other guy you would have pulled on his hair, smacked him around a little, kicked him where it hurts… but it was _Chuck_," Serena enunciated the name before going on.

"It was Chuck, and even after everything he said to you, you still care about him. You can't just erase that, just like you couldn't erase your feelings for Nate," Serena said.

Serena finally understood everything. She hurt so badly for Blair. She knew how horrible Chuck could be…and for Blair to actually _fall_ for him. Blair hadn't said those words… she would probably never even admit it to herself, but Blair had probably already been at least a quarter-of-the-way in love with Chuck.

"So…what about Nate?" Serena had to ask. She needed to know if reaching for reconciliation between Blair and Nate was out of the cards completely.

Blair sighed.

"It was…" Blair reached for the word… and she came back to the same one, "_different_."

She lay back on her pillow, closing her eyes as she thought about everything that happened after they had finally gotten back together.

"He was finally doing all the things I wanted… no, _needed_. He loved me Serena. He was the first one to say it now. He was attentive. He was happy to see me. He finally needed me. He actually asked for _my_ help with things… like going to visit his dad," Blair explained. "He was there for me like he'd never been before."

Blair opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling, tears spilling out of the corner of her eyes now.

"I love him so much. I didn't know how to tell him about me and Chuck. I didn't _want_ him to know. I wanted to just forget it had ever happened. I just wanted me and Nate to be in this perfect little bubble that nothing could penetrate. I should have known I couldn't keep it that way forever," Blair whispered the last before turning away and curling into a ball.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore S," she said. She hadn't wanted to revisit everything tonight, but it did feel good to finally share everything with Serena.

"It's okay B," Serena said softly. Blair must be tearing herself up inside…and she had to be doing this for so long… even before Gossip Girl's reveal all. Serena didn't know what to do to ease her pain.

So she turned off the television and hit the light. She curled up next to Blair and just held her. She could tell that Blair was crying silent tears. She held her until she fell asleep.

As Serena drifted off as well she wondered if maybe Blair should just try to move on from both of the boys who had hurt her so much.

* * *

_**Somewhere around 4:30 a.m.**_

Serena groggily rolled over, trying to get more comfortable. She didn't know what woke her, but she didn't care. She was enjoying her sleep after her long night of partying.

She was lying still, trying to go back to sleep when she heard it.

The sound of water running. Serena sat up in bed and realized that Blair wasn't with her.

She looked at the bathroom door. It was closed, but there was a light on that was shining under the door into the bedroom.

Serena got out of bed and wondered over to the door. She paused for a minute with her head close to the door, listening for the sound that she didn't want to hear… hoping that Blair had only gotten up to pee.

Then she heard the one sound that she never wanted to hear again in her life. It was muffled by the water that had been running far too long now for Blair to be washing her hands.

The sound of gagging.

Serena closed her eyes tightly. She didn't want Blair to be doing this. She had hoped so much that it wouldn't happen again…but she couldn't keep deluding herself. Blair had been through so much more lately than ever before: first her Dad, then Serena and Nate's betrayal, then Chuck, then Gossip Girl, and then Nate again.

Serena knew that Blair was almost finished, and she knew that the door was locked because she tried the handle. She went over to sit on the bed and waited for Blair to come out.

At last the toilet flushed, there was some more time of the water running as Blair probably brushed her teeth. The door started opening as the light went out.

Blair walked into the bedroom, head down, intent on the bed… she finally looked up when she realized the small light was on in the room.

Blair flinched at the sad, accusing look on Serena's face.

"I had to," Blair tried to explain.

"Blair," Serena said firmly, letting her know she was not happy and Blair better stop lying.

"It was too much. The ice cream and the cookies and everything…it was just this once, I swear!" Blair insisted.

"How long?" Serena asked, tone completely serious.

"Really Serena, it was just this—," Blair tried to cover up.

"_How long?!_" Serena practically yelled at her.

Blair was silent. She wasn't going to answer. She couldn't answer.

"Why can't you see how beautiful you are?" Serena asked, exasperated and angry.

Blair still didn't answer.

"Blair, you need to stop. You can't keep doing this to yourself," Serena said.

"I think it would be best if you left now," Blair said, finally getting some gumption back from being caught.

"No," Serena said firmly. "I am not leaving you. I told you that I'm here. I told you that we're going to fight together. That meant everything Blair."

"I don't want to do this right now!" Blair cried out. "I just want to go to sleep! Please Serena!"

Serena glared at her.

"_Please!?_" Blair pleaded.

Serena finally nodded. "Go to sleep. But don't think we're not going to talk about this in the morning."

Blair didn't acknowledge what she said; she just went over and crawled into bed. She pulled the blankets up over her head and buried her face into her pillow.

Serena stood up and looked at the small lump under the covers. She brushed a single tear from her eye. She didn't know what to do for Blair. She didn't know how to make this better. She had hoped that getting some of her confidence back tonight at the party would help…but Blair was still just as broken as she'd been before.

Serena turned out the light before climbing into the other side of the bed. She jerked the covers up with quick, angry movements. As she lay down she found herself cursing the existence of both Chuck Bass _and_ Nate Archibald.

She had to sleep on this and figure out what to do in the morning.

* * *

_To be continued…_


	11. Chapter 10

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about what was supposed to happen after The Thin Line… Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

* * *

**Saturday, February 9****th**_6 days until the Sweetheart Gala_

Serena rolled over in Blair's bed, slowly waking up. She looked over and realized Blair wasn't on her side of the bed. She glanced at the clock. It read ten a.m.

She sighed and sat up. She looked around. She didn't know where Blair had gotten to. She knew that Blair would put off this talk as long as possible but she didn't think Blair would just disappear on her.

She heard some noise downstairs so she got up and went toward the sound.

Eleanor was back and the penthouse was in a flurry of activity once again. There were racks of clothing everywhere. Serena wondered what new deal she was cooking up now or if this was for an upcoming model shoot for the Victoria Secret line.

She looked around and spotted Blair searching through a rack with Elise standing next to her. She glanced to the side again and saw Barbara Gilbert, Elise's mother, sitting and chatting with Eleanor. She knew Eleanor's publicist had to be somewhere around.

_Great,_ Serena thought, _just great_. Now she wouldn't be able to have the conversation with Blair.

"Serena!" Eleanor called out with a smile, "Glad you could finally join us."

Serena gave her a small smile of greeting, "Good morning Eleanor." Serena felt a little rumpled from sleeping in her party outfit. Blair had gotten dressed in a simple white shirt and lilac skirt for greeting guests this morning.

"Blair?" Serena asked, looking toward Blair as she continued rifling through the gorgeous fabrics.

"Good morning S!" Blair said, pasting a smile on her face that didn't show a hint of their argument and discussion last night. She pulled a simple light blue dress off the rack. It was sweet and innocent looking with small capped sleeves and a white lacy trim pattern across the waist. "What do you think of this?"

"It's cute…what's the occasion? You don't usually wear that particular shade of blue," Serena said. She had to give a small snide remark because she was more than a little ticked.

"Not for me, silly," Blair said, smiling brightly and completely ignoring Serena's apparent annoyance. "It's for Elise for the Sweetheart Gala."

Elise smiled at Serena, waiting for her approval of the dress. She thought it looked beautiful. She was excited about the prospect of going to a big dance! The Sweetheart Gala was an event sponsored by the school and all grades, even the freshmen, were invited.

Serena couldn't help but smile back at Elise. She was such a sweet girl, and so very eager for approval. "I think it would look amazing on you Elise. Blair chose perfectly."

Blair looked to her mother, "Mom, wouldn't this look amazing on Elise for the gala?"

Eleanor glanced up from her discussion and appraised the dress. "Why, yes dear. You must wear that Elise. I won't take 'no' for an answer." Eleanor loved when the girls advertised her wares at events.

Elise squealed and took the dress from Blair. She held it up against her and twirled around.

Blair just grinned at her enthusiasm. She accidentally glanced over at Serena who was now glaring at her.

"Blair, can I talk to you?" Serena asked pointedly.

"S, I really don't have a minute to spare! Barbara and Elise came to visit with us this morning and I can't be rude. Plus, I promised Elise I'd tell her all about the party last night," Blair smiled at Elise who was still admiring the dress.

Elise just grinned up at her, her excitement still very much evident. Elise hadn't been invited to the party last night either which had hurt her feelings after spending the entire week at the popular girls' beck-and-call. She was glad when Blair said her and Serena would be crashing it. She understood why she couldn't crash it with Blair though. That was okay because the Sweetheart Gala was coming up and she'd really get her chance to shine. Maybe then she'd be invited to more parties and make more friends.

Serena didn't want to hear it. She didn't care if Eleanor knew that Blair was back to her old tricks. Her mother should know anyway. She looked at Blair with a warning before glancing at Eleanor and back to Blair.

"Maybe Elise should try on the dress to see if any adjustments need to be made," Serena suggested.

Blair had followed her gaze and knew that Serena was threatening to tell her mother about her early morning bathroom visit. She glared at Serena before agreeing.

"Yes, you are correct. Elise," Blair said, looking at her new prodigy who was grinning from ear to ear, "let's go up to my room. You can change in the bathroom. Serena, come along with." Blair started toward the stairs with the rest of her entourage following.

After Elise was tucked away in the bathroom, Blair turned to Serena.

"Don't you tell her," Blair hissed through her teeth.

"You need help Blair," Serena said. "Dr. Sherman has office hours today, right? I'll take you myself."

"I'm fine! It was just this once. Stop making a big deal out of this Serena!" Blair whispered harshly.

"You are not fine," Serena whispered back. "Stop pretending that you are!"

"Elise is going to come out of that bathroom any minute. Just forget about it S, please?" Blair asked, her eyes pleading as she tried a new tactic.

"Stop Blair," Serena saw right through her attempt. "Either you come with me or I'm telling her." She shut her mouth and glared at Blair after making her ultimatum.

Blair's eyes went wide and she opened her mouth, but closed it before saying anything else. She didn't want her mother to know. But she also didn't want to rehash all of her feelings with some stupid psychiatrist.

Given the choice between the two though… Blair sighed.

Just then Elise came out in a flurry of skirts and giggles.

"Elise! You look fabulous!" Blair exclaimed.

"I love it Blair!" Elise squealed. "Thank you so much!"

"No, thank _you_," Blair said knowingly. Elise smiled back with a nod. She understood what Blair was thanking her for. She really didn't have to thank her at all though. She was glad to help.

"Ok, now go change back," Blair instructed. "I can't wait to tell you all about last night!"

Elise turned quickly and dashed back to the bathroom.

"What's it gonna be?" Serena asked quietly.

Blair turned and glared at her. "I'll go with you but not until later. I promised Elise." And maybe Blair could figure out another way to convince Serena that she didn't need to go…without Serena telling Eleanor.

"Good," Serena nodded. "I need to go to The Palace and shower and change anyway. I'll be back in a few hours."

"_Great_," Blair said sarcastically.

"But we _will_be going B, make no mistake about that," Serena warned.

Blair just nodded, looking toward the bathroom. She didn't want to look at Serena right now.

Serena sighed and wrapped her arms around Blair. Blair didn't respond, just stood stiffly.

"I love you B," Serena whispered. "We're going to fix this."

Blair still didn't respond, just stared straight ahead with her jaw tight.

Serena dropped her arms and began to leave. "I'll be back."

And she was finally gone.

Blair dropped her hard stare and looked down. She breathed a shaky breath. Why couldn't she have used the downstairs bathroom last night? Her mother hadn't been back yet. She should have used hers since the master suite was unoccupied. She just figured Serena would sleep like the dead as she usually did.

She was not looking forward to "later". But at least she could have _some_ fun now as she told Elise all about the dancing and songs played and getting one-over on Matt. She'd be able to tell her about everyone welcoming her on the dance floor. And she'd mention some of her Jenny and Melissa put down. Of course she'd leave out the last part of the evening. Elise may be a new friend, but they weren't _that_ close.

* * *

Blair was searching through dresses again about two hours later when the elevator sounded signaling a new arrival.

Everyone had cleared out earlier. Eleanor and her publicist went to lunch to discuss this or that or whatever. Barbara had explained that she and Elise had a previous engagement and they left as well.

So it was just Blair now. She preferred it that way because of the conversation that she knew was about to come with Serena.

She was standing behind a rack of clothing, looking for a dress for _her_ to wear at the Sweetheart Gala. It had to be perfect. She barely looked up when Serena arrived.

"I'm back here," she called out. She might as well not make Serena go searching for her. "And you're in luck," she continued sarcastically. "Everyone else is gone."

She sighed before continuing, pushing aside another dress and trying to focus on the next one. "Can we please skip the part where I admit I have a problem and go straight to the part where I swear I'll go to the doctor's after school Monday?"

There was silence. Was Serena actually considering her alternative? She knew she was good at manipulation but she hadn't thought S would give up without a fight. She figured it was coming, so she hastened to continue.

"I swear! We don't have to talk about this anymore Serena!" Blair saw a movement out of the corner of her eye signaling that Serena was finally walking around the many racks to join her. She turned in a huff and said, "I'm fine—"

She cut off abruptly when she saw none other than Chuck Bass standing right next to her.

She flinched and jumped back in horror. Her face blanched before she managed to recover and turn hastily back to the clothing.

"Come to finish what you started?" she snapped out. She tried to bite back the anger and fear she was feeling. And she was absolutely horrified at what she'd just said to Chuck thinking he was Serena. _Oh God_, what would he say? Why was he here?

Then she remembered that she was alone in the apartment with the exception of Dorota.. and she had _told_ him she was alone. She braced herself and tried to pretend that the stupid dress she was looking at was the most important thing in her life.

"Get out," she said with as little feeling as possible.

"Look…" Chuck began.

He had been trying to figure out all morning what he should do after the events of last night. He hadn't meant to go all crazy on Blair but he hadn't been able to help himself. He finally decided that he had to talk to her. He had to explain some things. He couldn't get her out of his head no matter how hard he tried. And she _had_ come back to him last time. Maybe there was still a chance of correcting some of this mess.

Not to mention that her response to him at the party had kept him awake all night long. He'd had to take about two cold showers. He struggled with himself all the way up until about thirty minutes ago before he decided the best course would be to go straight to her.

He thought she was talking to him at first when he entered the penthouse. He'd been surprised because he figured she would just order him out without saying anything else. Then she continued talking and he just got more confused... and then he was actually getting worried. Why was she going to a doctor? What problem was she talking about?

She was still looking through the mess of clothes and trying to ignore him. He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder to get her attention.

Blair flinched again and jerked away from him. "Don't touch me!" She glared at him, trembling slightly.

She tried to pipe down on all her emotions. But she couldn't believe he'd shown up here after what he pulled last night. And as much as she hated herself for it, she _was_ a little afraid…afraid that he might try something else… afraid that she wouldn't be able to make him stop…but mostly afraid that she wouldn't want him to stop.

Chuck realized that she was actually shaking a little. He cursed inwardly before holding his hands out like the proverbial white flag.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said honestly. Was she really afraid of him?

"As if _you_ could," she glared. She felt a little better that he's said that, but she didn't want him to know that she was afraid. _Or_ that he had any ability to hurt her—emotionally or physically—in the first place. "Only someone who matters could do that."

Chuck knew she wasn't talking about the physical stuff from last night. He winced a little. She couldn't have said it any clearer. But he at least figured he should try to apologize…he wasn't very good at it and he had never once apologized for getting a little too fresh with a girl before. Of course he'd never asked a girl if she was "sure" before having sex with her either.

"I'm sor—" he began the dreaded words.

"No!" she held up a hand at him, finally managing to stop the tremors. "You don't get to say that."

Chuck looked at her strangely.

"You don't get to apologize. It's too late. You ruined everything already. So, you feel bad about last night? Aw, poor baby. Can it, Bass. You don't get to feel better by saying those two little words," she said angrily.

"Blair—" Chuck was going to say those stupid words again and finish the sentence this time.

But then the bell of the elevator signaling _another_ arrival rang through the apartment. Blair sighed in relief before walking backward to the end of the rack to peer at the entryway, putting space between her and Chuck _and_ making _sure_ the new arrival was Serena before she made the same mistake again.

"Serena!" Blair said, extremely relieved as she watched her best friend walk out of the elevator toward her.

"Alright Blair, I've got a car waiting and we're going right now," Serena said briskly, barely pausing for air.

"Serena—," Blair tried to cover up Serena's words and make her shut up before she said something else to make things with Chuck even worse. Chuck was only slightly taller than her and the stupid racks would be covering all signs of him being there. So of course Serena didn't know he was here.

Which is why Serena went on, completely ignoring the warning look on Blair's face.

"No arguing! Look, I know what those jerks did to you, but you are _not_ going to keep doing this—," Serena trailed off as she saw Chuck walk from behind the rack and stand behind Blair at the same time that Blair rushed forward and shouted, "Serena!" loudly.

Serena glared at Chuck, wondering what the hell he was doing here.

"Hello jerk," Serena said sharply.

"Sis," Chuck gave a perfunctory nod as his mind tried to wrap around Serena's words. What the hell was going on with Blair? "You two going somewhere?"

Blair tried to come up with a cover story even though she knew Chuck already knew something was up. He was too smart for his own good. It figured that she'd just finished telling Chuck that he couldn't hurt her because he didn't matter to her only to have Serena show up and say the exact opposite.

She didn't have to worry about what to say to Chuck though. Serena seemed to be doing a good job without her help.

"Blair, I left my earrings here last night. Why don't you go get them while I put out the trash?" Serena said, staring Chuck down. Blair didn't need any of his bullshit this morning—or ever again.

"Gladly," Blair said before leaving and going up the stairs. She was so relieved to be out of the same vicinity as Chuck Bass that she would have run up the stairs if she didn't want to appear like she _was_ running away.

Chuck watched her go, wanting to chase after her and finish their discussion. Plus, he wanted to know what was going on. But she didn't want to talk to him and Serena was still glaring at him.

"I have an idea," Serena said suddenly after Blair was upstairs. "Why don't you leave and never come back?"

"This is hardly your business," Chuck smirked.

"That's where you're wrong," Serena snapped. "Blair _is_ my business. And you aren't a part of either of our lives anymore. Get out." She walked over and pressed the button for the stupid elevator. She was going to have to wait for it to come back to the floor before she could push Chuck into it.

"C'mon Serena," Chuck sighed. "I just need to talk to her."

"She doesn't want to talk to_ you_," Serena snapped impatiently. Where was that stupid elevator?

Chuck grew quiet for a long moment.

"What's going on Serena?" he asked softly, almost dangerously.

Serena ignored him. She didn't know what he was talking about anyway. He knew what he'd done to Blair. She hadn't once mentioned where Blair and her were going, so that couldn't be what he was talking about. Was he just asking a rhetorical question in the middle of this?

"Shut up," she snapped. She'd rather not talk to him while she waited for the elevator to arrive.

Chuck actually shut his mouth. He knew he wasn't going to get anything else out of Serena. The elevator finally arrived and he got in. Serena just looked at him in warning as the door shut.

Chuck pressed the button for the ground level before slapping the metal wall of the elevator. He hated not knowing what was going on—especially when it came to Blair. He hated that he'd managed to make Blair afraid of him too.

He couldn't stand not knowing, so he was going to follow them. He didn't have anything else to do today…and he hadn't done any spy work since Serena's Ostroff days. He wasn't going to relish the idea quite as much this time, but at least he could figure out what the hell was going on. He had way too many ideas racing through his mind.

* * *

"Blair…" Serena trailed off. Her best friend was sitting on the edge of her bed, staring at the wall across from her with no expression on her face.

She settled down next to her.

"Time to go I guess," Blair finally said morosely.

"Do you want to talk about—" Serena tried to ask about whatever Chuck had come there for.

"No," Blair said with finality.

"What did he want?" Serena asked.

"I'm ready to go now," Blair said, standing up and walking to the doorway as she avoided Serena's question.

Serena sighed and followed her. "Stop shutting me out Blair. Talk to me." Serena insisted. She'd finally gotten caught up on Blair's troubles. Now was not the time to get left behind again.

Blair kept going. "Blair!" Serena yelled her name at her back.

Blair finally looked at her. "He tried to apologize, okay?"

Serena's eyebrows rose about an inch, "He did what?"

Blair rolled her eyes. She knew Serena heard her. "Let's just get out of here." She continued down the steps.

Serena followed her, still a little floored at the new information.

She didn't say anything else as they made their way out to the car and were on their way.

* * *

Chuck wasn't pleased. He'd gone through all the trouble of following them only for them to go to a non-descript building. There weren't any indication that it was more than the simple brownstone house it appeared. Chuck came to the conclusion that they must have changed their mind about going wherever they originally planned to go since they had both managed to say more than they wanted to in front of him. Maybe they knew he was going to follow them and went to visit a friend instead.

Chuck didn't know what the hell was going on and it was infuriating him. Blair said that she was admitting that she had some sort of problem. She said she was going to a doctor. Serena was cut off before she finished, but it sounded like Blair was doing something to herself…a "thing" that was caused by "those jerks" who could mean any number of people. But he knew that he was definitely included because of her amazingly "witty" greeting of "hello, jerk".

Blair must have been lying when she said that he didn't matter to her. Typical. He'd never been able to read her as well as she could read him.

He didn't want to be worried about her. Worry indicated that he cared a little too much. He didn't have the luxury of caring especially not after what he'd _said_ and _done _to her. And especially not after she showed how little _she_ cared by going back to Nate in the first place.

But he couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right. For one split second of horror he thought that she really _was_ pregnant and trying to cover it up… or get rid of it…without telling anyone but Serena. But then he put it out of his head as he tried to make his apology—dismissing the idea out of hand because it was too ridiculous. Then Serena showed up and from her words he thought Blair might have more of an addiction to something…but what? Shopping? Headbands? Nate?

Blair didn't do drugs and she wasn't an alcoholic. She didn't like losing control and both of those things would make her do so. He knew that much at least. So what the hell was so bad she had to go to a doctor for it?

He wrestled with himself for about two more hours after leaving the front of the unknown brownstone. He was getting tired of arguing with himself where Blair Waldorf was concerned. And he'd had very little sleep. Maybe he would try to sleep now... but first…

**meet me palace bar 10pm**

He sent the text message to Blair's phone. He had to talk to her. He figured if they were at the bar there would be enough people around that she wouldn't get fucking scared again—he still couldn't believe she freaked out like that—and he figured ten was late enough that he'd be able to get a few hours of shut eye before the meeting.

That is if she showed up…

Because twenty minutes had already passed and she hadn't responded yet…

She could at least say 'no' if she didn't want to meet.

Maybe she wasn't sure…or maybe she was ticked that he hadn't asked to meet, just demanded it. He sighed and sent her a text with another word that he never said. Two in one day, it must be some new record.

**please**

She didn't respond to that either.

He sighed and decided to just get some sleep and show up anyway. Maybe she'd show up. Who knew? He didn't know what he would say if she _did_ show up either…but he knew they needed to talk.

* * *

Blair had received both text messages.

She finished her session with the doctor about an hour before the first text message came. The session hadn't gone too well. She hadn't been able to explain everything to the shrink while lying on that couch. She talked about some things, mostly her popularity, but not anything else. At least she'd done what Serena asked her to do though. So Serena could stop hounding her…well, hopefully.

She was glad that her shrink used a private home office. It was the main reason her mother had chosen that particular doctor. Neither of them wanted Blair's little secret to come out. Close-mouthed and non-descript was the key.

When she'd gotten the first text message from Chuck, she scoffed at the very idea. What was his problem anyway? He tries to practically rape her one night, the next morning he tries to _apologize_, and then he wants to meet. What could he possibly have to say that he hadn't already said before? And to meet at the same place of his final words…the words that made any type of relationship or friendship between them impossible now? She thought his choice of venue was pretty stupid actually—and Chuck Bass was usually anything but stupid.

She didn't want him back in her life at all. At least she didn't think so. As much as he had the ability to "turn-her-on"—the disgust filling her with anger at herself—she wasn't going to talk to him. And how dare he just _demand_ her to be there. He really was delusional.

Maybe it had something to do with what he'd overheard her and Serena say today about her condition—as her mother so loved to call it. Maybe he wanted to prowl around for more dirt on her so he could spread that around and manage to kick her while she was down.

**please**

Blair got the second text message about twenty minutes later. She had already decided she wasn't going anywhere to see Chuck and she definitely wasn't going to talk to him again.

Then he begs to meet her. Chuck Bass doesn't beg. He really must be up to something big if he'd fake "beg" her to show up. Blair was not going to meet him. She didn't want him to be a part of her life anymore. And that was that.

* * *

**Saturday, February 9****th****. A little after 11p.m. **_6 days until the Sweetheart Gala_

She wasn't coming.

Chuck had sat at the bar for over an hour now—he'd arrived early too—and he kept hoping that maybe she would show up.

She didn't.

Around quarter of eleven some woman came by to hit on him, but he just ignored her and showed no interest. His mind was only on one female…the same female that managed to get under his skin no matter what he did.

He knew it had been asking a lot for her to actually come to him again…but he thought she might. He knew she still only really had Serena's friendship. Everyone else still shunned her or ignored her. Blair Waldorf didn't give second chances unless your initials were N.A. He should have known she wouldn't show up.

Then he drunkenly laughed at his own thought. N.A. Not applicable. Ha.

Yes, he was drunk now. He'd been steadily drinking scotch, hardly pausing for air, since he sat down at the bar earlier. As the night wore on and it became more and more evident that Blair was a "no-show" he just kept swallowing the hard liquor.

It was eleven thirty.

There was no way she was going to show up an hour and a half late. There was no way she would have been late in the first place. He should have stopped hoping an hour and a half ago.

His shoulders slumped and he rested his forehead on his hands for a minute.

"_You don't get to apologize. It's too late. You ruined everything already," Blair snapped at him._

Too late. Too late. Ruining everything was pretty much the story of his life. He had been friends with Nate and Blair for so long. He should have known something would happen to ruin even that. He ruined his relationship with Nate and he ruined Blair. He figured she held the majority of the blame for ruining their friendship. She probably only slept with him to get back at Nate anyway…which he should have realized and turned away from her instead of taking what she offered.

He was still tired and the alcohol was making him completely out of it. It was time to catch up on his sleep. He managed to struggle to his feet and make his way across the room to the front exit. He walked across the small walkway and entered The Palace through the front door before going to the elevator and making his way up to his room.

Yeah, sleep is exactly what he needed right now.

* * *

She had come.

She didn't know why she did.

But something made her put her coat on and leave, catching a cab to The Palace.

She hadn't gone inside though. Instead she stood at the edge of the window and watched him. She arrived a little early…so did he. She was glad her coat was so warm or she'd have been a popsicle by the time he finally left the bar.

She didn't want to go inside. She'd been at this place before. It only offered more pain and more suffering. She didn't want to go inside and join him only to have him make things worse again. She didn't think she could survive another put-down.

Because she had lied to him that morning.

"_As if _you_ could, only someone who matters could do that," she threw the words at him, telling him that he could never hurt her._

But he could. He had. And she wasn't going to give him another opportunity to devastate her.

She was a little surprised when she saw him turn away an extremely hot twenty-something blonde with curves in abundance. Chuck had to know that if Blair was forty-five minutes late, she wasn't going to show up. So why didn't he accept the other offer? Who knew how Chuck's twisted mind truly worked?

She missed him, she missed their friendship, and she wished that things could have been different. But she had played with fire. She'd seen so many movies about people not getting involved with their friends or co-workers or whatever because it only ruined the relationships and didn't enhance them. It was too bad that she'd had to learn that lesson first hand.

She wasn't going to forgive him. She didn't know if she ever could. She'd rather put him out of her head. She had tried and was going to continue to try to pretend that none of it had ever happened… and pretend that he didn't even exist. It didn't really work when he was kissing her against a wall or showing up unexpectedly at her house.

She watched him get up from his stool and stumble out.

She backed around a bush to make sure he wouldn't see her. She needn't have bothered. He didn't look anywhere as he made his way to the entrance of The Palace hotel.

After he was inside, she walked over to the window again. She just looked at the place where he had been sitting. She stared off into space as all the reasons she hadn't gone inside swirled through her head again. She had made the right choice. Living in the past was no way to get back the future she'd always wanted. She was going to reclaim her crown. She was going to destroy Jenny…and Hazel of course. Melissa could probably use a smack down as well. Kati and Is hadn't said anything against her like the others…they just didn't speak to her. They hadn't given her any dirty looks since the first couple of days though. She missed their quirky, at times dimwitted, friendship. Maybe there was still hope to reunite with them somewhere down the line. She didn't know what would happen with Nate either.

He hadn't spoken to her since the day he said he wanted nothing else to do with her…well, with the exception of asking her if she was "okay" last night. She guessed he could write her out of his life far better than she could write him out of hers. She wanted everything to go back to the way it was before…like last Thanksgiving. They had been so happy then. Chuck was just their friend. Serena hadn't betrayed her…and neither had Nate. Nate was loving and sweet…the perfect boyfriend.

She sighed and finally tore herself away from the window. She glanced at the clock on her cell phone: almost midnight. She put the phone away and went out to the street to find a cab. She might as well head home before she turned into a pumpkin.

* * *

**Spotted: How much is that doggy in the window? Our former Queen must have a real yen for something at The Palace Bar. My informant tells me she was spotted around midnight outside the window eyeing…well, nothing. No one, no thing. What had B out and about at that time of night? Who knows? But after B's amazing showing at the PVD party, she's definitely brought some "spotting" on herself. And you know how I love to dish the dirt on the…. "dirty". Wonder what else B has been up to. Can she really make that steep climb back to the top? And how **_**is**_** she going to do it? Time will only tell. You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl.**

* * *

_To be continued…_


	12. Chapter 11

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about what was supposed to happen after The Thin Line… Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

* * *

**Sunday, February 10****th**_5 days until the Sweetheart Gala_

Taking off her slumber mask, Blair looked at the clock and groaned before slapping the snooze button. Six in the morning. Why was she getting up this early on a Sunday? _Oh yeah_, she had an errand to run in Brooklyn.

She groaned again before rolling out of bed. She went to the shower and slowly woke herself up under the hot spray.

After finishing, she slowly towel dried and began the tedious process of dressing and doing her hair. She didn't know why she was even bothering with her hair because she was just going to be putting a hoodie over top of it, but she shrugged and finished straightening it.

As she looked in the mirror and finished up the last of her grooming she decided to check Gossip Girl for the latest news before leaving.

She grimaced when she saw that the last post was about her midnight run. _Crap_, she thought. Now Chuck was going to see it and know she had actually shown up.

While she was pleased that there was a mention of the Friday night party—without any mention of why she'd left so abruptly, she couldn't stop the spike of anger. Didn't people have anything better to do than spy on her?

At least they didn't see her before midnight. At least they didn't know that she'd been waiting at that window for an hour and a half staring at the cause of so much of her misery. GG would definitely have a field day then. And everyone would think she was hung up on Chuck.

Chuck was drunk off his ass last night so it'd probably be hours before he saw the post. She wondered what his reaction would be. She hoped he didn't stop by again.

She slammed the lid shut on her laptop and grabbed her bag before exiting her room. It was time to go.

And if Chuck _did_ try to talk to her again, she would just tell him in no-uncertain terms that he was dead to her. She didn't need him anymore.

And that was that.

* * *

"Good morning dad," Jenny said as she left her room to grab a cereal bar. She completely ignored Dan who was sitting on the couch reading a book.

"Jenny," Rufus nodded. His children were still barely talking to each other. At least they were civil and joined him for breakfast most mornings, but the happy atmosphere that usually surrounded their humble home was still non-existent.

Dan finally drew himself away from his book long enough to address his sister.

"There was a letter for you by the door when I woke up, it's on the counter," he muttered before going back to his reading.

Jenny tried not to act too excited as she went to retrieve what could only be another letter from her "secret admirer."

She picked it up and frowned. "What happened?"

Dan glanced up, "Oh, I had some cereal and the milk spilled. It should be dry by now." It was about ten in the morning. He'd been up since eight.

Jenny made a frustrated sound. "You couldn't have been more careful?" she snapped at him.

Dan barely glanced at her again. "Sorry," he said somewhat sarcastically.

Jenny glared at him, but he didn't even notice. She grabbed her cereal bar and went back to her room, slamming the door shut.

She carefully opened the letter hoping the spill hadn't messed up the writing. She couldn't believe that Nate had actually gotten up so early on a Sunday just to drop a letter off for her. How sweet was that?

There were little polar bears sitting in a horse drawn carriage with their noses pressed together and a heart floating in the air above their heads on the cover of the card.

**Dear Jenny,**

**I saw you at the party Friday night. You looked incredible. So good in fact, that I almost revealed myself. But I can't. Not yet. Maybe a few more days? Valentine's Day is coming up. Maybe I'll be ready by then… I don't know. You know how I feel about public displays right now… but things seem to be dying down.**

**I have to tell you that every time I see you, my heart does this little dance. You are always so happy and beautiful… just what my broken heart needs to mend.**

**Please keep my secret for just a little longer. I grow stronger with each passing day. And when the day does come that I can reveal myself, I know that we will be so happy together.**

**With love and great affection,**

**Your Secret Admirer**

She was glowing. She just knew it. The smile on her face almost hurt it was so big. She knew that her cheeks were slightly flushed too.

He loved her? He actually said "with love"! And Valentine's Day? It would be such a dream for him to reveal himself on Valentine's Day! She giggled and wanted to start dancing, but she held back because she knew she might start shrieking which would lead to her father investigating the cause of her joy. She remembered the last time she shrieked too loudly in her room. Her father and brother wouldn't let it go. It served Dan right that Dad had found out about Serena's shopping expedition.

She controlled herself and tried to find that little letter that was always under his signature. She groaned when she realized she couldn't make it out too well. The milk stains weren't too horrible, but it had made some of the letters run.

It looked like it _could _be a "C", but then it could also be an "A", or an "R" or maybe even a "B". Ara? Arr? Arb? No, it was definitely a "C". What else could it be? Her secret admirer was definitely Nate Archibald. She'd find out for sure with his next letter. It was going to be an "H" anyway.

Darn Dan for making a mess of her letter so she couldn't figure it out clearly though. For all she knew he could be spelling out a place he wanted to meet her instead.

* * *

Chuck slowly became aware of his surroundings. Apparently he hadn't made it to his bed last night because he'd just woken with a mouth full of cushion. He was on his couch.

He tried to get up but pain from his hangover went crashing through his head. He groaned and flopped back down.

He really did drink too much last night.

Cursing Blair for not showing up and giving him more misery by that omission, he finally struggled to his feet long enough to land on his bed.

Why did he have to go and ask her to meet him in the first place? Why the hell did he still care? After everything he'd done to destroy her, he couldn't have left well enough alone?

He knew the answer to that. He missed her. And she wasn't with Nate anymore. Not wanting to further piss off Nate was another reason he had turned her away when she came to him before. Now it obviously didn't matter what he did, Nate was never going to forgive him—especially not after his display Friday night.

He couldn't get back to sleep. It was about noon. His head was killing him and he knew he should go over to the bar to make his special hangover brew, but he just didn't feel like getting up. He decided to use his phone to check out Gossip Girl. Maybe there was something that would amuse him and get his mind off of Blair.

**Spotted: How much is that doggy in the window? Our former Queen must have a real yen for something at The Palace Bar. My informant tells me she was spotted around midnight outside the window eyeing…well, nothing. No one, no thing. What had B out and about at that time of night? Who knows? But after B's amazing showing at the PVD party, she's definitely brought some "spotting" on herself. And you know how I love to dish the dirt on the…. "dirty". Wonder what else B has been up to. Can she really make that steep climb back to the top? And how **_**is**_** she going to do it? Time will only tell. You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl.**

She showed up?! Chuck blinked and looked at the screen again, scrolling back up to the beginning of the post. Blair was at the window at _midnight?_ Did she get the wrong time? Even as he thought it he knew that he had sent the correct time. And he knew that she wouldn't have forgotten the time either.

But why didn't she come in? Why didn't she meet him? Did she stand there the entire time he was waiting? Was it some kind of perverse victory for her knowing that he was waiting for her? Or had something else kept her from coming to him? Maybe she was still afraid of him or something stupid. She _had_ responded to him on Friday… at least until he tried to go a little too far. Even he should have known better than to try to remove her panties. Blair wasn't one to have sex in darkened corridors where anyone could walk in on them.

If she could still respond that way to him though, there had to be something there… right?

He groaned and grabbed his head. All of this thinking and questioning was just making his head hurt worse.

He finally struggled to his feet and went over to the bar. It was time for the green sludge cure-all. He needed to get his shit together and take a shower. Then he'd decide what to do as far as Blair was concerned.

* * *

She was barely awake, stumbling around her suite in hopes of locating the fruit loops or some other frown-worthy cereal choice that Blair would disapprove of but secretly covet.

Serena was pleased that she had managed to get Blair to the psychiatrist the previous day, but she knew that more visits were _definitely_ in order and that she was going to have to keep an eagle eye on her from now on.

She was almost to the little breakfast nook—the one with a mini-fridge and no oven—when she heard a knock at her door.

Sighing—she was really starving—she went to answer it.

She frowned when the boy at the door didn't wait for her to grant permission, he just pushed his way in.

"Nate? What?" Serena asked, a little ticked.

"Did she come to see you?" Nate asked.

"What are you talking about? And you can't wait to be invited in?" Serena asked.

"Gossip Girl, she had a post about Blair. Blair was here last night. _Did she come to see you?_" Nate insisted, his question persistent.

Serena didn't answer, just turned and stumbled over to her phone. She picked it up and looked for the latest "Blair" spotting. She didn't have any idea what Blair had been doing at The Palace at midnight. And she was looking through a window…at nothing? Was that really what had Nate's La Perla's in a bunch—because, yes, La Perla did have a men's line.

"Nate, you came all the way over here for this? Blair wasn't even doing anything. Just because she chooses to breathe these gossip whores take notice," Serena said.

"She was staring at the bar Serena. There's only one person I know who frequents that bar," Nate said. He was feeling kind of… thrown. Like his emotions were scattered fragments. He'd been on the verge of talking to her on Friday only to find her with Chuck. Then he thought she needed his help and "saved" her from Chuck. Then she walked away from him after telling him she didn't need his help.

He'd been on the verge of going to talk to her again today when he'd received the latest post. One of the last things he said to her when they broke up was _"You and Chuck deserve each other_". He hadn't meant that… at least not the part where she actually _was_ with Chuck. Was she thinking about Chuck? She always forgave _him_, would she actually forgive _Chuck_?

"Was she coming to see _you_?" Nate insisted again.

Serena wanted to lie, but she couldn't. Not because Nate in anyway deserved the truth, but because if there was one thing she'd learned this weekend it was that Blair couldn't handle dealing with either Nate or Chuck anymore. If Nate thought Blair came here to see Chuck, maybe it was for the best.

"No," she finally said.

"Damn it," Nate said. He started pacing. "Do you _know_ what he _did_ to her?" he asked, referring to the party and to her public humiliation.

"Yes," Serena nodded.

"How could… ah!" Nate ran his hands through his hair. "After all that, she could actually forgive him?!"

"I don't know why she was here Nate, but I think it would be best if you just left her alone," Serena said firmly.

Nate looked at her in confusion. "I thought you were the one who said I should talk to her, insisted on it even."

"I was wrong," Serena said. "Stay away from her, Nate."

Nate stared at her hard, trying to process everything. Then he decided it was time to go. He'd found out what he wanted and obviously Serena was no longer on his side…but she hadn't actually ever been on his side.

He turned and stalked toward the door.

Serena didn't say anything else, just watched him go. She knew he was still hurting, but she couldn't help him.

Blair needed her now more than ever.

* * *

Blair had finished her errand and arrived home just in time to have breakfast with her mother, _such joy!_

Eleanor didn't ask about her early morning excursion, which was just as well because Blair hadn't come up with a suitable explanation.

Eleanor had left soon after breakfast and indicated that she wouldn't be back until very late.

Blair was now sitting in her room in the early afternoon trying to concentrate on a paper due for American History the next day.

Then she got a text. Wondering if Serena had decided to bother her about visiting the psychiatrist again, she opened the phone reluctantly.

**glad u could make it**

She frowned and immediately erased the message from Chuck. If she hadn't responded to him yesterday, she definitely wasn't going to respond to him now. She turned back to her work. Minutes went by when she heard the jingle that signaled another text.

Letting out a sigh of frustration, she flipped the phone open again.

**get the wrong time? no miss perfect wouldn't make that mistake**

Damn Gossip Girl for sending that post! She knew he would have _something_ to say about it. She erased the message just as quickly as she read it and turned back to her work, hoping he'd get _her_ message when she didn't respond.

**give u a thrill knowing i waited 4 u?**

She turned her phone off and threw it on her bed. She was done being bothered by him.

She started to focus on her paper again and slowly got lost in the Industrial Revolution and how the south rebuilt itself after war. She could very much relate.

"Miss Blair!" Dorota called from downstairs five minutes later.

Blair waited for her to continue. Dorota knew Blair didn't yell from another level.

"You have a visitor!" Dorota yelled.

Blair sighed. She just wanted to focus on her paper. Why didn't Dorota say who was there? She usually did. Maybe she just didn't recognize the person.

Maybe it was Elise. At least Blair hoped that was who it was. It couldn't be Serena; S would have just come up. No one else came to visit her nowadays.

Except for…

Blair started down the steps warily and paused when she was halfway down.

Chuck was sitting on a chair in the great room. He was slouched back with a hand in his pocket looking expectantly up at her.

She didn't say a word, just turned around and started back up the stairs.

"Want me to follow you?" he barked out.

She froze on the steps and turned to glare at him.

"Guess you didn't get my message that I was coming, hmm?" Chuck asked. He hadn't moved from his position.

Blair practically stomped down the stairs. She walked over to the elevator, pressed the button to call the elevator back to her floor and grabbed the phone with the line directly linked to the front desk off the wall.

"Leave. I forgot to tell the front desk that you weren't allowed here anymore. _My mistake_. You will leave or I can call security to have you escorted," she said without even looking at him.

"You showed up for a reason. Put that down," Chuck commanded from his seat. He still hadn't moved and he didn't even look worried.

The elevator arrived just then. She stuck a hand out to hold the door open.

"I don't want to talk to you!" she snapped, finally looking at him again. "Get out!"

"Then why the window shopping?" he smirked.

"I was trying to remember why I ever bothered with you in the first place," she smirked right back at him. "I couldn't. You weren't worth it."

He slowly sat up. "Didn't get that feeling Friday night."

"Oh? And what part didn't you understand? The part where I said _no_?" she asked. One hand was still holding the elevator, she used her other to make a sweeping gesture indicating he was supposed to get in.

He didn't move.

"You wanted me. Don't deny it," he said.

Blair just kept on glaring. "When hell freezes over. Get out Chuck!"

He still didn't move.

"Just leave me alone! What's wrong with you? _You _said in no-uncertain terms that you were through. _You_ turned your back on me just like everyone else. _You_ set these rules. Why the _hell_ are you here trying to change them now?" Blair said in angry frustration.

"I was wrong," Chuck said, looking straight at her.

"What?" Blair lifted her eyebrows in disbelief.

"You didn't tell Nate it was me," Chuck explained.

"Of course I didn't tell Nate!" Blair cringed. "After working so hard to get rid of that tape and doing _your_ stupid bidding by avoiding him, did you really think I wouldn't do exactly what I said I'd do?"

"_My_ mistake," Chuck muttered, throwing her earlier words back at her.

"I don't care! It doesn't change what you said to me or what you tried to do Friday night!" She was so angry that she let go of the elevator door and slammed the panel back up against the wall before stalking forward.

Chuck stood up and glared at her too, getting into the argument. "What about what you said and did to _me_?"

"I broke up with you! Get over it!" Blair exclaimed.

"You fucking went back to Nate! You were mine, but that didn't matter to you. You just went straight to him and started where you left off. You _fucked_ my best friend!" Chuck spat the words at her.

Blair paused in her yelling for a minute.

"Well… I regretted it," she muttered finally.

"Believe me, I got that message loud and clear. Keep on pretending that nothing ever happened between us Blair, but it did! And I'm sorry for what I did, and I'm sorry for what I said, but you owe _me_ an apology too you bitch," Chuck snapped at her.

Blair was silent for a moment longer. She could tell by his words that he was actually hurt by what she'd done. She didn't think it was possible to hurt him. She just assumed that she'd been another conquest to him. That he'd been so angry at her because he wasn't in control of the situation. And now he was actually apologizing for everything?

"No…" she began. He let out a quick growl of frustration thinking that she wasn't going to apologize like he'd practically demanded her to.

She looked down, breaking his gaze for the first time since they started arguing.

"Sleeping with Nate…" she trailed off before looking up at him again. "I regretted it."

Chuck frowned in absolute confusion, shaking his head as he tried to understand what the hell she was saying.

She looked away and around, anywhere but at him. "I knew it was too late, but I tried to get a hold of you anyway."

Chuck nodded slowly. She had sent him a million texts after his disappearing act after the ball. He hadn't responded to any of them until two days before Christmas when she'd finally found out where he was.

"'Anything I need to know?'" he mocked her text. "Got quite a laugh about that one. _You_ were the one acting like a jealous girlfriend," Chuck muttered.

"Didn't take a genius to figure out what you were doing in Monaco," she muttered right back.

She'd been thrown off when Bart told her where he was vacationing. Then he'd asked her about faking her virginity for Nate. That was when she realized that he knew. She'd been shocked and wary. She didn't know what was going on between her and Nate at the time, and she knew even less about what was going on with her and Chuck. She knew that she loved Nate, but she still thought that she might have rushed things with him in an attempt to make up for being with Chuck. She hadn't known if she just wanted to salvage her friendship with Chuck or what, but for whatever reason, she'd been jealous.

Chuck just smirked. He was still trying to piece together what she was telling him. He didn't care if she regretted it, she still slept with him. "Same thing _you_ were doing with dear ole' _Nate_," he spat out the words in disgust.

She drew herself up straight at his words and glared at him again. "And that's why the regret didn't last long. You just made it that much easier to forget about you."

"Glad to be of service," he snapped, rolling his eyes.

"After the hell you put me through you had no right to say what you said to me, you ass," Blair snapped right back, her anger growing again.

Chuck rolled his head back and around, closing his eyes briefly before looking at her again. He'd give her this, since she had given him the truth finally.

"You telling Nate aside, I was pissed. You came to me because you had no one else. Last. That's just _great_. All the bickering? I actually tried to _help_ you when Serena thought you were pregnant. Just another thing for you to throw in my face. My best friend had just walked out on me because of _you_. I was drunk… angry… and I wasn't myself," Chuck explained, looking away from her.

"Wrong Chuck," Blair said angrily. "That _is_ your self. Why do you think I didn't want anyone to know in the first place? You can't change. And after what you did and said to me, do you really think I'd _ever_ forgive you?" She was back to glowering at him.

"Blair…" Chuck just gave her an annoyed look. It seemed he was going to be the only one to apologize today. And she was throwing that apology back in his face, _again_.

"Get out!" Blair exclaimed.

He glared at her, not moving an inch. There was one more thing he had to ask her. He couldn't leave until he found out what was going on with the doctor thing. He'd been hoping to ask it when she was settled down more, but now would have to do. Then she beat him to the punch.

"I never wanted you! You were just convenient!" she taunted him.

"Oh, a revenge fuck huh? The lady doth protest too much," Chuck smirked at her. Was she back to lying to him again? Or was she telling the truth? Did this all start because she wanted to get back at Nate by doing the same thing to him that he did to her? He didn't believe that. Well, he almost didn't believe that.

"Let me reiterate. I may have regretted Nate at first, but after we got back together, the sex was 'wow'. Amazing. You showed me the techniques. Nate showed me the stars," she continued to taunt him, smirking at him as her words hit home.

He glared at her dangerously. "Surprised he even found the hole," he snarled at her.

"You're disgusting," she made a face at him.

"And you're lying," he accused. There was no way Nate was better than he was. He was the master, Nate was a beginner.

"Get out Chuck," Blair commanded. She _was_ lying, damn him for calling her on it.

Cursing himself for his curiosity and his apparent worry about her regardless of everything they'd just said, he still had to ask.

"Oh I'll get out alright. Far be it for me to stick around after your glowing words of praise for the golden boy who left you by the sidelines. Just answer one thing for me," Chuck said.

Blair looked at him expectantly, wondering what else there was to say.

"What was going on yesterday?" he asked, eyebrows squinted.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Blair said. "So, yippee, you can leave."

"I'm not leaving until you tell me why Serena is making you go see a doctor," Chuck said firmly.

She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again just as quickly. She hadn't seen that coming. She was speechless for a moment but finally found her words.

"Why? So you can turn an innocent trip to the doctor into another scandal?" she asked sarcastically.

Chuck's eyes lowered to her stomach, "You're not…?" He trailed off before looking back up at her face.

She blinked. "And have the devil's spawn? I think not."

His stomach turned over. "Blair," he said with warning.

"Wow," she threw her hands up in exasperation. "Some things are none of your damn business."

He just continued to look at her, not knowing whether to believe her.

"Ah!" she shook her head. "A sinus infection, okay? I kept putting off going because I had other things on my mind. Serena just wanted me to get a check up, okay?" She needed to stop saying "okay" at the end of each sentence or he might think she was lying.

He accepted her explanation though. He slowly nodded.

"Would you just leave?" Blair said. She was losing her equilibrium now and couldn't take much more of arguing with him.

"Blair…" he didn't know what else to say. He really should just go. But something made him want to stay.

"What!?" she hollered in his face.

He didn't say anything else, just kept staring at her.

She was becoming more and more infuriated. She couldn't read his face and that was worrying her.

"What's it going to take to get you through that door and never come back?" Blair asked, dejectedly.

He still didn't respond, just stared at her.

She reached out and pushed him. "Go away!"

He jerked a little from her push but he was unfazed. If anything he seemed to come closer to her.

"Chuck, please go," she said. She couldn't believe she just begged him to leave. She was out of options here. She really didn't want to cause a scene by calling security, that didn't mean she wouldn't.

He just continued to stare at her with those same dark eyes that always seemed to see too much. She wanted to flinch away, but she couldn't stop from staring back at him.

"Leave!" she hollered, pushing him again.

"No," he finally said, jerking toward her hands, coming even closer.

"Yes!" she snapped, angry emotions rushing through her.

"No," he muttered, his eyes never once leaving hers.

"Yes!" she hollered again, desperate for him to leave.

"No," he whispered.

She kissed him.

He was too close. He was right in front of her. He was there. She had lied. She did want him. But she didn't want to want him. She had wanted to kiss him again ever since Friday night, no matter how humiliated she was that Nate had seen them.

He didn't respond at first. He let her kiss him. He wasn't going to allow her to claim that he had in anyway forced her to do this. If she wanted to stop, she could.

She didn't stop. She actually walked closer to him, finally closing the small gap. She ran a hand up through his hair and pulled his mouth more firmly against hers.

He finally gave in and kissed her back. He angled his head to the side for better access and reached a hand up to caress her cheek as his lips found her bottom lip and gently kissed and suckled. The kiss was becoming more and more heated.

And as quickly as she started it, she pulled away. He let her go. She gasped before crossing her arms, hugging herself and turning away. He realized she was gasping around tears. What the hell?

"Blair…" he said her name with some confusion.

"I'm not a whore!" she glanced at him when she said it. Then she looked away again. She seemed to be shaking. She wasn't crying, she had tears in her eyes though.

With startling clarity he finally understood why she'd been shaking yesterday. She wasn't afraid that he would hurt her. She was afraid that she was all those things everyone had been saying about her. She _had_ responded to him on Friday, and _that_ scared her, not him.

"Blair," he whispered, reaching his hand out to rest on her shoulder. She didn't pull away from him so he reached his other arm around her and turned her toward him before pulling her up close. She rested her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her. "You're right, you're not."

She was still trembling against him.

He remembered his words.

"_Rode hard and put away wet."_

He had certainly made it sound like she was. Was she beating herself up about what he'd said? At the time he only wanted to hurt her, he didn't know he'd succeeded beyond his wildest dreams.

"I really am sorry," he repeated his apology from earlier.

She didn't say anything for a few minutes. The shaking had stopped and she was just standing against him, letting him hold her.

He wondered if she'd say anything else. He didn't have to wonder long.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. She moved her head closer to his, snuggling against his neck. "I'm sorry about everything."

He sucked in a deep breath and slowly let it out. He hadn't thought it was possible for their conversation to turn out so well. He never in a million years would have thought that she would forgive him, or that she would admit the things she had, or… that he would forgive her.

He kept a hold of her and walked over to the white settee. He sat down and thought she'd sit next to him. She didn't. She sat right on his lap and actually curled up into him.

He didn't know what he was supposed to do now. He didn't know what any of this meant. He hadn't come here with any other intentions than to clear the air somewhat and make sure she was okay. Were they friends again now? Were they more? Did he want either of those things? He knew the possibility of becoming friends with Nate again were almost nil. He wouldn't have attempted to even talk to her otherwise… All this crap was confusing the hell out of him.

And he hated being confused.

But he didn't mind holding her.

She couldn't believe she was sitting on Chuck Bass' lap actually being comforted by him. She couldn't believe most of what they'd said to each other this afternoon. She couldn't believe she'd apologized… and she couldn't believe he had either.

Finally she pulled back and looked at him. He just stared back at her, hoping none of his confusion showed. She rested her forehead against his and whispered, "I want to kiss you again."

"Then kiss me," he whispered.

"I don't know if I should," she whispered.

"Then let me," he said before leaning forward and doing just that.

She wrapped her arms around him and clung tightly. She kept waiting for him to heat things up, but he didn't. He was slow and gentle, like he was savoring each kiss.

Finally, she pulled back and stared into his eyes again. "What are we doing?"

"Thought that was obvious," Chuck murmured, his eyes drifted down to her lips.

She sighed but just rested her forehead against his again.

He thought about his next words before he finally decided to ask.

"Come upstairs with me," he whispered.

She closed her eyes and winced. "Chuck," she said with warning.

He held his breath, waiting for her response.

"I thought I wasn't any good," she finally asked, opening her eyes and smirking at him. "That is what you told Matt wasn't it?"

Chuck sighed. "It was a lie, okay? I didn't know it'd get so out of control," he tried to explain.

"Why would you say that about me?" Blair asked.

Chuck winced, "And let everyone know how good you are?"

She finally understood. She felt a little better, though still sick that his little lie had caused her so much pain. She had spiraled out of control and almost left for France again because of it.

"I don't want to go upstairs," Blair finally whispered.

Chuck slowly nodded. He hadn't really thought it would be that easy anyway. Blair really wasn't a whore; she wasn't going to just pick up where they left off—even though she could do it with Nate.

"Come to the Sweetheart Gala with me," he asked. He knew she'd probably say 'no'. Heck, he didn't even know what had made him ask. She was tired of public displays, so given the choice between riling up the gossips with her "date" or going by her self and hanging with Serena, he figured it would probably be the later.

"I'll think about it," Blair said. She couldn't just announce to the world that she was seeing Chuck. Her reputation was already destroyed though. She wasn't going to get it back to its original glory, no matter who she dated. Did she _want_ to date Chuck Bass?

"You do that," Chuck nodded with another smirk. He was going to wear her down this week. His mind was already racing with ways to get this thing between them back on track properly.

She slowly stood up and he followed her to his feet.

She took a hold of his hand and led him to the elevator doors. She pressed the button and then leaned into his side.

"What about Nate? You know he'll never forgive you if I go with you," Blair said quietly. She already knew that Nate couldn't forgive her. He hadn't spoken to her in over a month…it really was over. She had to go on with her life.

Chuck took in a deep breath and let it out with a small harsh laugh. "I think all chances of him ever forgiving me went out the window Friday night. That along with everything else… it's definitely over," he said.

"I'm sorry," Blair said. She knew how close friends Chuck and Nate had been. It was probably the only reason she had even associated with Chuck to begin with. The pain she'd gone through when fighting with Serena was still fresh no matter how much she tried to cover it up. She knew what it was like to lose a best friend. This couldn't be easy for either Chuck or Nate.

"Yeah, well… we all have a lot of things to be sorry for." Chuck trailed off. The elevator finally arrived.

He glanced down at her and was surprised when she offered him a kiss goodbye. He relaxed into her mouth for a moment, but knew it really was time to go.

He slowly pulled away and started to walk backwards into the elevator. She hadn't let go of his hand yet. She walked toward him to hug him close one last time, she was so glad to finally have someone else in her life again.

"I'm glad it wasn't you," Blair admitted.

"Hmm?" Chuck murmured against her hair.

"I was positive it was, but then Nate said Jenny told him. Serena had blabbed to Dan and little J was in the wrong place at the wrong time," Blair muttered.

"What are you talking about?" Chuck murmured again, trying to understand what Jenny had to do with their conversation at all.

"Gossip Girl," Blair explained, still holding him close. "I'm glad you weren't the one who out-ed me. I should have known you wouldn't go that far to destroy me."

Years of not showing any sudden reaction was the only thing that kept Chuck from doing so now.

_What?!_ He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. She didn't know. All this time, and she thought _Jenny_ had ruined her reputation? Thoughts raced through Chuck's mind and he tried to figure out what to say. He should tell her the truth right? But, no, if he did then she'd boot him out of her life again.

If she didn't know, then no one else knew either… except for Nate.

She finally pulled away and stepped back out of the elevator, giving him a slow smile as the doors finally closed. Chuck tried not to show any expression whatsoever. He succeeded.

The elevator began its descent and all Chuck could think about was how screwed he was if she found out…and whether he should wait until after the Gala to tell her. Valentine's Day was one of those special holiday things. If he told her before the festivities, she wouldn't _have_ a good day, and he'd have even less of one. He would wait until the weekend to tell her. Maybe by then he could prove just how much he regretted sending that text. Maybe….

Nate wasn't going to be coming around. He hadn't forgiven Chuck, so forgiving Blair probably wasn't an option either. What were the chances of Nate showing up and bringing up the very thing Chuck didn't want him to talk about? Well, knowing his luck… But no, he was going to wait until after the Gala. At least then he'd have given her the most perfect Valentine's Week ever to soften the blow.

He wasn't going to worry about it. In the meantime, there was one other thing floating through his mind.

So Little Jenny Humphrey was the one who told Nate…it looked like he was going to need to have a chat with the little bitch tomorrow.

* * *

"Look at this!" Kati exclaimed in awe.

Kati and Is were out shopping for their outfits to the Sweetheart Gala. It had to be absolutely perfect.

Kati held up a tiara, but it wasn't just any tiara. It was resting on a flatbed of pink that gave a much more royal effect to the mix. The tiara itself had two silver hearts lying on their sides, facing away from each other with another upright heart in between and a glowing jewel at its center. There were other designs and ribbons hanging from the sides. It was truly a party tiara. Elegant but madly fun.

And just the thing that Kati and Is was looking for.

"I love it!" Is proclaimed. "And that dress over there matches perfectly!"

She walked over to pick up the white lacey dress. It had see-through lacey sleeves. It bared the shoulders and had a smooth glossy white material down the front. The skirt had the same lacey material over the top of more glossy white, but the lace on the skirt had threads of red and pink mixed with the white.

Kati agreed immediately. They both took a gown off the rack and went into the dressing room to try it on. They would add their own accessories to the ensemble and that would be the only thing different about them.

In the dressing room, Kati found herself remembering all the times they had gone shopping with Blair.

"You know, shopping just isn't the same anymore," Is said, not even realizing she'd tapped into the very thing Kati was thinking about.

"I know," Kati exclaimed. "I think I actually miss Blair."

"Me too," Is agreed. "You know, we haven't talked about it…" she began, referring to Melissa's gossip from Friday.

"I think we should spread the word," Kati said.

"So what do we say," Is said excitedly, leaving her dressing room with the dress on to get Kati's opinion at the same time that Kati left her dressing room.

They paused for a minute to admire each other in the dress.

"Beautiful!" Kati exclaimed over Is.

"Amazing!" Is exclaimed over Kati.

"So…?" Is held up her phone and waved it in front of Kati's face.

"Well, since they're actually talking, maybe we can leave out the part that we think Nate was with Serena," Kati said.

"Gotcha," Is said before flipping open her phone and starting to type out the letters of the text message. "This is going to be so good!" she squealed.

"And maybe Blair will rise back up," Kati said.

"And the world shall be right again!" Is said as she hit send. "Done, and done!"

Kati squealed and both girls jumped up and down.

Then they went back to disrobing and set off to buy their selections. The Sweetheart Gala was bound to be fabulous. They could hardly wait!

* * *

**Gossip Girl here. Top story on my homepage? Apparently N is for naughty, not nice. A very reliable source claims that not only was N the one to cheat on B, but B never cheated in the first place. Was our little former queen actually secretly **_**dating**_** C when the royal couple was splitsville? But we thought she was seeing another former king. What's the truth? What's the gossip? And who am I? That's a secret I'll never tell. You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl.**

* * *

_To be continued…_

* * *

**I wanted to add this part to the top of this chapter, but I figured it was more shocking to read the end of the C/B section before knowing where I was going with it. So here it is now as a recap. Enjoy.**

* * *

_**Previously on Gossip Girl and Aftershock…**_

"You know Chuck would say anything, twist the truth!" Blair exclaimed, trying to still deny the truth. Chuck couldn't win this! After everything he'd put her through, he could have said anything to Nate. He probably made everything worse with whatever he said.

"Yeah but Jenny wouldn't," Nate said, completely exasperated.

Blair was startled, and confused… "Jenny?" What did Jenny have to do with this?

"And don't go blaming any of this on her Blair. I would have found out eventually," Nate said.

* * *

"And what about Blair? Does she even _know_ it was you?" Nate asked, his anger completely uncontrollable, as he leaned toward Chuck across the desk.

Chuck managed to nod. She'd come to him to congratulate him the last time they spoke. She knew he'd ruined her. She knew he'd finally dealt his final hand and she had lost.

"You slept with her and then you told everyone? You _are_ deeply disturbed you sick fuck," Nate pushed the desk toward Chuck

* * *

"I can't believe you told Jenny about me and Chuck," Blair said, feeling completely betrayed.

"What?" Serena shook her head in confusion, "I didn't…"

Blair nodded. "Because of her everyone knows the intimate details of my private life, and now Nate's not speaking to me."

"I told you B, I didn't tell Jenny, I don't know how she found out," Serena insisted.

* * *

"Well if this is who you are, I don't like _you_ very much," Dan grimaced before turning around again.

"Dan! That's not fair!" Jenny was really upset that her brother kept turning his back on her.

"NO Jenny!" Dan said, turning on her once again and stalking across toward her. "What's not fair is using information that you received through listening in on _my_ private conversations for your own gain! What's not fair is sending information to Gossip Girl so she could send it to the entire school and ruin someone! What's not fair is that you almost destroyed mine and Serena's relationship because of that information! What's not fair is that I still have to look at you and know that there's no getting away from living with the very thing I hate most about Constance Billiards!"

"I didn't tell Gossip Girl!" Jenny shouted, rising from her chair and getting into her brother's face.

"Yeah right!" Dan hollered at her.

"I only told Nate that it was Chuck!" Jenny exclaimed. "He's my friend! He deserved to know the truth!"

"Yeah, well who else would have told her Jenny? Who else?" Dan stared into Jenny's eyes, daring her to come up with someone. She didn't respond.

"That's what I thought," Dan said. "You can deny it all you want, but I don't know who the hell you are anymore…so why in the _hell_ would I believe you?"

* * *

"That's the thing. She said she didn't do it," Dan said slowly.

"What?" Serena asked, glancing up at him a little surprised.

"She said she didn't tell Gossip Girl. She just told Nate that it was Chuck," Dan said.

"Do you believe her?" Serena asked as her mind raced with the possibilities.

"I don't know," Dan shook his head. "I want to believe her, but she's turned into this person I don't even know. How _can_ I believe her?"

"And who else would have told Gossip Girl?" Serena said, continuing his thoughts.

"Exactly," Dan nodded.

"The only people who knew—as far as I can tell—were me and you, Blair and Chuck, and Jenny," Serena said. "I know Blair didn't tell her, and I didn't. You would never—"

"Absolutely not," Dan reiterated.

"So that leaves Jenny and Chuck," Serena said slowly… her mind still racing.

"It had to be Jenny," Serena continued. "She was the only one to gain anything from this. Plus, Chuck would have to realize that Nate would ask Blair questions and the truth would come out anyway. Nate would want to know the identity of the 'other' guy. Chuck is a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them. He may be an ass, but his friendship with Nate meant a lot to him. I at least know that…

"And that's not one thing he'd give up lightly."

_And who am I? That's a secret I'll never tell. _

_You know you love me,_

_XOXO_

Gossip Girl 


	13. Chapter 12

**M RATED WARNING: **The first part of this chapter (as indicated by where the **m-m-m** dashes begin and end) is basically M rated. I tried to tame the descriptions down a wee bit, but for the most part… you have been warned. ;)

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about the new episodes due in April. Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

* * *

**Monday, February 11****th****. 4**_ days until the Sweetheart Gala_

**m-m-m **

"It was so hot how you punched Carter out," Blair gasped between kisses. "I've never seen you do anything like that before."

Nate smiled into her kiss, amazed she was with him and had finally decided to forgive him again. He met her lips as she kissed him even more hungrily.

He started backing through the open door with her following him. He knew that tonight was going to be the night. He felt it in his bones. He noticed someone watching them out of the corner of his eye and pulled away from her lips to smile and give a slow wink of thanks to Chuck for helping him with the Carter situation.

She brought her lips down to his neck and continued planting hot impatient kisses on his skin.

And then they were through the door and heading down the hall…

They were on the bed, kissing and feeling each other, hands sliding up arms and shoulders, over waists…

Their eyes met and they took a second to look at each other. Her eyes seemed troubled for a second, like she wanted to say something. He hesitated for the briefest of moments wondering if she was going to put a stop to this again. But the moment passed and she leaned in to continue kissing him...

Finally he moved to the side and gently laid her down on the bed. She reached up for him and he rested gently on top of her, kissing her again as his hands slid over her smooth stomach. Her hands rested around his neck, giving small strokes.

He continued his exploration of her as he gently removed her bra. She let out breathy gasps as he ran a hand over her, caressing her and kissing her in this new place. Her hands spanned his shoulders and stroked. He trailed kisses down her stomach. She sucked in a breath at the feel of his lips.

He smiled against her skin at her reaction before trailing his lips back up her body and finding her lips again. She moaned into his mouth and ran her hands down the side of his chest to his waistband. She undid the button and zipper. He groaned into her mouth before pulling back to push the material down himself…

They continued kissing and caressing and exploring each other, eventually ridding themselves of all undergarments.

He made sure to protect her before finally settling between her thighs. The moment had finally arrived and he wanted it to be perfect… everything thus far already had been. She always wanted everything to be perfect and she deserved it that way. He loved her. He couldn't imagine being without her ever again. All he wanted to do was please her.

His eyes met hers and she gazed up at him nodding slightly. She was giving him permission and that was all he needed. He slowly slid forward inside of her. Her eyes widened slightly and her mouth made an "oh". He sank even deeper, until he was all the way inside. He gasped at the feel of her. She was so tight. He had to pause to breathe and get control of himself. One of the most important things that Chuck had always drilled into his head about sex was to make absolutely certain she was satisfied first.

"You okay?" he whispered, knowing that sometimes it hurt a girl the first time. He wanted to make sure she was alright before continuing.

"Yes," she whispered back, shifting her hips upward against him.

That was all the encouragement he needed. He pulled back and sunk in again, finding a slow rhythm. She met each of his thrusts, gasping and moaning against him. He closed his eyes and concentrated on pleasing her, loving the feel of her body against his.

She started moving faster against him, urging him to stop his slow agonizing movements. He picked up the pace, and held on to his control as much as possible.

Her moans were getting louder and louder, her body moving more urgently. He prayed to God that meant she was close because he didn't know how much longer he could hold on.

Then everything became surreal as she started yelling Chuck's name over and over.

It took a minute for the words to register and he stopped in his movement.

He looked down at her, shaking his head in confusion.

He pulled back and blinked.

And then he wasn't in the suite at The Palace anymore. He was standing at the opening of the hallway at the PVD party.

Chuck had Blair pushed up against the wall again, but this time there was no resistance from her. Chuck's pants were unbuttoned and pushed down partly. Blair's hose and panties were off and Chuck was ramming himself inside of her fast and furious as Blair moaned out his name over and over. Her legs were wrapped around him, squeezing him to her.

As he watched, stunned, her head turned to the side and she spotted him.

She smiled, "Hi Nate," she said as casually as if she was passing him on the street.

Chuck turned his head as well, keeping up his furious movements. "Nathaniel! Great to see you man."

He tried to open his mouth to speak, he tried to make his legs move to turn and leave, but it wasn't happening. He was rooted to the spot.

"Why so shocked Nate?" Blair asked, giggling softly.

"Man, you never should've let this go," Chuck said, smirking at him, still thrusting into Blair.

"Do you really think so?" Blair asked Chuck breathlessly.

"Well, no. Then I wouldn't have gotten my chance," Chuck said, grinning at Blair.

"Oh, right," Blair nodded at him before letting out a moan. "And that would've been a shameeee…" she breathed out the last word.

"Nate, you really should go," Chuck smirked at him again. "We were just getting to the best part." Then he turned back to Blair and began kissing her hotly.

Nate couldn't move. He couldn't speak. He couldn't do anything but watch as their furious movements seemed to go completely out of control before Chuck thrust deep and hard one last time and they both hollered out each others names as they climaxed in a mad rush.

As Nate continued to watch, Chuck burrowed his face into Blair's neck. She reached her hands up to the back of his neck and ran her fingers through his hair before whispering into his ear.

"You're the best…"

**end m-m-m**

Nate bolted upright in bed. He tried to jump up quickly but he was tangled in his sheets. He struggled with them for a minute before finally getting up. He didn't want to be in a bed at the moment.

He stumbled to his feet and made his way over to his desk. He leaned forward and grabbed the edge of the wood in a hard grip, trying to get control of his emotions. He had relived his first time with Blair so many times in his dreams since it had happened that he should be used to his body's reaction by now. This was the first time that Chuck had intruded upon it though…which was why he had this uncontrollable rage running through him as he tried to get control over himself.

It had been a month, give or take a few days. A month since his world had come crashing down…and Blair still haunted his dreams.

He clenched his eyes tight, trying to push back the images flashing through his head once again. He'd heard somewhere that most people woke up and couldn't remember their dreams. So why couldn't that happen in this instance?

He tried to think of anything else: school, the gym, his mother, his father. His mind raced for something that would make him stop seeing them. He concentrated on his last visit with his father, tried to remember how great it was to race him again. He tried to remember the feel of his sneakers hitting the pavement as he rushed forward, intent on beating the Captain for once.

And slowly, very slowly, he managed to calm down. Just as his grip was easing up on the desk his alarm went off signaling that it was time to get up for school.

He had track and field tryouts today. He was a shoe-in of course, but the coach still wanted all previous players to try out each year. He just hoped he managed to put all these damn distractions out of his head before tryouts.

Pushing off of the desk, he turned off the alarm before making his way toward his bathroom. It was time to get ready… and face another day…living with the betrayal of his best friend and girlfriend fresher in his mind than it had been in a while.

* * *

Blair woke feeling better about herself than she had in a long time.

Life was still far from normal. She still didn't have the status she once had, but she was gaining momentum. She had Serena, Elise, and now she had Chuck too. Who would have seen that one coming? Especially after the way he treated her…she was going to have to be careful around him though. She _had_ missed him, and she was glad they'd finally made a small bridge… but she didn't know if she should trust him…or if she even _could_ trust him.

She got ready with care, as she usually did, and put on one final coat of ruby red lip gloss before descending the stairs.

When she got to the bottom, she paused and looked at the hall table.

"Dorota?" she called.

"Yes Miss Blair?" Dorota asked as she hurried into the living room from the kitchen carrying a breakfast tray for Blair which she set on the table before looking expectantly at Blair with a hint of a smile on her face.

"Where did those come from?" Blair asked, pointing slightly toward the gorgeous vase filled with a dozen perfect pink roses.

"The florist brought while you were in shower," Dorota explained in her slightly accented English. "They for you," Dorota finished before hiding a broad grin with a bow and excusing herself to return to the kitchen. She hoped that the gift would bring a smile to her charges longtime sad face.

Blair slowly walked over to the display. She plucked the card out hesitantly, wondering if the florist had made some mistake.

_Delicate and beautiful… they reminded me of you… C_

Blair reread the note at least five times before she finally registered that there was a slight tear in her eye.

She brushed it aside quickly and reached to pick one out of the bunch. She touched a petal gently, feeling how very delicate and soft it was.

She turned and practically skipped over to the couch to dig into breakfast, placing the rose in the skinny thin empty vase that Dorota had left on the tray. That woman really did know Blair well.

Blair was still feeling a little strange about Chuck. Yes, they had made up yesterday, but she couldn't just forget everything that had happened. The roses were incredibly sweet… but why was he trying so hard? They had left everything on such a weird note. They _had_ kissed, but what did that really mean? Were they friends again? She thought so… but they couldn't be more… could they? He did ask her to the gala… he must want more. _Chuck Bass_ wanted to be more than friends, and he didn't want to do it in secret.

She shook herself out of her musings. She told him she'd think about going to the gala with him and that was what she was doing. She hadn't decided yet, but his wanting to be with her was helping her feel a little less hollow inside.

… and a lot less alone.

* * *

Nate managed to suffer through breakfast with his mother. Anne was reading the newspaper society news and pausing every once in a while to make some comment about this, that, or the other. Nate had never particularly cared for the information she so religiously provided, but he knew she was feeling lonely since dad was in rehab and a lot of her society friends had uninvited her from leagues and charity events.

Breakfast was almost through when she made mention of preparing the house for the Captain's return in March. Nate tried to change the topic, but she just kept going on and on about making everything absolutely perfect for Howard. She wanted to make sure Howard wouldn't be inconvenienced at all, that everything would be provided for him at the drop of a hat so he could return to his normal everyday life once he got out… or as close to normal "everyday" as she could make it.

Nate still didn't think his father was ready to be released. He wanted to tell his mother that. He wanted to tell her, once again, to stop trying to make everything so easy for his dad. But after the morning he'd already had, he knew he might end up being harsher than he wanted to be/

And he also knew that it wouldn't make much of a difference whatever he said to her. She was in complete and total denial. She had this vision of perfect and what she thought was best for Howard.

She sort of reminded him of someone else he knew.

He finally finished with breakfast and made his way to school. He seemed to be dragging, which was not good considering how important the tryouts after school would be. He tried to put himself in a better mood, but how was that possible when everything was so screwed up? He needed some new friends, stat. Maybe Jenny was over this silly crush thing. It _had_ been over a week since Gossip Girl made overtures about them as a potential couple.

And since the guys at school were finally settling down and had stopped making jokes maybe he could hang out with some of them later. A bunch of last years' runners would be trying out. Maybe he could get a group together to shoot some hoops after practice.

Taking a deep breath, he adjusted his bag over his shoulder and finally entered the gates of school. He felt some relief at finally having a plan that didn't involve thinking about people with the initials B, C, or S. He headed briskly through the door on the boys' side. He made his way toward homeroom.

He was halfway there when he registered the smirks being directed toward him. The guys were acting like there was some private joke going around.

He noticed some of them looking at their cell phones. He stopped in the middle of the hall and grabbed his own cell knowing that Gossip Girl must have some new and revealing post up. Sucking in a breath, he looked up the latest blog. He braced himself for some new Blair and Chuck news…

**Gossip Girl here. Top story on my homepage? Apparently N is for naughty, not nice. A very reliable source claims that not only was N the one to cheat on B, but B never cheated in the first place. Was our little former queen actually secretly **_**dating**_** C when the royal couple was splitsville? But we thought she was seeing another former king. What's the truth? What's the gossip? And who am I? That's a secret I'll never tell. You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl.**

How the hell did Gossip Girl find out that he'd cheated on Blair? And no wonder everyone was staring at him. The guys thought it was hilarious but they'd made so many jokes already that they just shook their heads in amusement before passing by.

As he read the rest of the post, the breakfast in his stomach churned around.

Blair and Chuck hadn't just hooked up? Were they really _seeing_ each other behind his back too? But that meant… that meant Blair didn't just sleep with Chuck once and then it was over—a mistake like Blair had alluded to the day she tried to explain. "_You had just broken my heart. I made a decision I was in no condition to make."_ It meant they kept… Imagines from his nightmare flashed through his head.

He slammed the top of his phone shut and stuffed it into his pocket quickly.

Blair dated Carter _and_ Chuck when she was broken up with him? Did she sleep with Carter _too_? Who _was_ she?

* * *

"What did you do?!" Hazel hissed at Melissa.

Hazel had just arrived at school. She immediately went on the prowl to find the idiot. This wasn't going to be pretty.

"What are you talking about?" Melissa asked, genuinely confused and somewhat startled from her happy musings of Matt.

After Kati and Is decided to pick up their Latino hottie, Melissa had found herself wanting to escape Hazel and Jenny's disapproval at the party Friday night. She's gone to get a drink and ended up running into Matt at the bar. She flirted outrageously. She'd had such a crush on him forever, and he really was perfect for her. She'd been so jealous when he slow danced with Blair.

But then she got his full attention now that the little skank was gone. He was so gorgeous. She hadn't been able to resist the opportunity to go home with him…and it had been so amazing.

He hadn't called her since Friday night, but that didn't mean he wouldn't. Didn't guys have a three day code or something?

"I told you she was lying! You couldn't resist dishing the lies could you?" Hazel snapped at her.

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Melissa exclaimed, still a little off balanced while thinking about Matt.

"Oh, so you haven't seen the latest from Gossip Girl?" Hazel asked in disbelief.

"Yeah…I saw it," Melissa said quietly, finally understanding why Hazel was so pissed. She snapped out of her Matt thoughts and rushed to explain. "But I didn't…"

"You stupid little twit! Don't lie to me! I know you did it! Do you have any idea what you've done?" Hazel was trying to keep her volume down, but it was extremely hard.

"I didn't!" Melissa denied again. "Someone else must have. Why are you going so crazy anyway? Who cares if everyone knows?"

"_I_ care. _You_ should care. Everyone's going to feel sorry for her cheap little skanky ass. This is like the first time _ever_ that Gossip Girl retracted something! You _know_ she never admits when she's wrong. Now everyone's going to think they were wrong about Blair all along!" Hazel hissed again, managing to keep her voice down.

"They will not," Melissa said in disbelief. "Blair would have just denied it a long time ago. She _did_ sleep with Chuck. She _did_ sleep with Nate. She _did_ think she might be pregnant. The way she left school the day word hit? It showed how guilty she really is. No one is going to forget that, no matter what Gossip Girl says."

"You better be right," Hazel griped. "If you're wrong you _will_ regret it." She glared at Melissa before stalking away.

If Blair made her way back up the ladder, Hazel would personally knock her back down again. And Melissa would be right at the bottom of the heap along with her… if _she_ had anything to say about it.

* * *

"Blair, you seem… almost happy today," Serena said as she caught up with her best friend on the way to school.

"God, Serena, was I really that dreary before?" Blair said with a small laugh, shaking her head.

Serena just smiled back. "I'm glad the session helped so much…" Serena waited a beat before continuing. "Maybe another visit after school would help too?"

Blair sighed, "I'm going to be fine Serena. The doctor was _very_ helpful." She pretended that Serena was right about the trip to the shrink. She knew she was a little too happy about waking to a dozen beautiful and _delicate_ pink roses, but she couldn't help it.

"I don't need to go again so soon. This weekend is soon enough," she explained. She didn't really want to go this weekend either, but she wanted to make Serena feel like she was at least attempting to get help. Blair didn't need it anymore though. She really _would_ be fine. She was having one of the most stress-free days she'd had in a while.

"Okay," Serena nodded. "Nice way to accessorize for the holiday by the way," she indicated the rose pinned strategically on the lapel of Blair's blazer—the blazer she'd changed into after deciding to show Chuck how much she appreciated the gesture.

She had actually almost completely changed clothing. She now had a wide pink headband on, a light gray blazer with pink edged lacey trim, a crisp white blouse, and her traditional gray school skirt. And she had wiped off her signature ruby red lip color in favor of a pink gloss with flesh-tones. She looked good, top notch and perfectly accessorized.

Blair just grinned at Serena in response to her compliment and continued to walk forward. Serena smiled back before digging into her pocket for her phone. She had a text message from her brother telling her that it was imperative that she check out Gossip Girl's homepage.

Serena rolled her eyes and flipped to the latest blog. She closed her eyes briefly after reading it.

"Blair…" She stopped walking.

Blair looked back at her and saw Serena holding the phone toward her. "Read this," Serena insisted.

Blair read it. And read it again.

Blair kept the smile off her face. That wench Melissa had pulled through nicely. All Blair had to do was spill a few facts and the girl hadn't been able to resist spreading the word. Of course… she was slightly uncomfortable about the Chuck mention. She hadn't _meant_ to make it seem like she had been dating Chuck… she just hadn't really wanted to come out and say "_friends with benefits"_. That would have defeated the purpose of telling Melissa anything.

She knew that Jenny hadn't spilled the beans. Little J was too close-minded and infatuated when it came to Nate. She would never say anything negative about him.

"Wow, for once she got it right," Blair said disinterestingly before handing the phone back to Serena and continuing toward school.

"But Blair…" Serena trailed off. She was glad Gossip Girl hadn't found out _who_ Nate cheated on Blair with…but how did she find out in the first place? And the part about Blair and Chuck, she knew that was true. But how was the reminder going to affect Blair?

"C'mon S," Blair said back over her shoulder.

Serena followed her, finally just deciding to talk to her about it later. Blair didn't seem to be too adverse to the reminder.

As they walked through the gates of the school and started toward the stairs, Serena noticed that a few of the girls were looking at Blair with mildly curious expressions…and none of the previous hostility they exuded. Serena breathed a sigh of relief that at least the girls weren't going to give Blair a hard time.

She knew that part of the reason Blair was able to recover so quickly from the shock of Serena being with Nate was that Blair was proud. If Blair broke up with Nate then word might have gotten out, or information might have been twisted, to reveal that Blair hadn't been able to keep a hold of her man. Their actions had hurt her privately, but publicly it would have been a nightmare… sort of like the reaction that Nate had gotten for being publicly cuckolded.

Something told her that the information being leaked now would not hold the same consequences…if anything, people would start to feel bad for treating Blair the way they had. They wouldn't feel sorry for Blair. They might even feel a little proud _of_ her for dishing out what she was dished.

She continued following Blair but she noticed Chuck out of the corner of her eye. He was standing nonchalantly, acting as if he didn't have a care in the world. As she continued to watch from the side, not wanting to turn her head and give her perusal away, he seemed to be looking at Blair. A small tiny hint of what could almost be a smile crossed his features before he covered it up.

Serena was now next to Blair instead of following her. As she watched _Blair_ out of the corner of her eye now, she noticed that Blair gave the same tiny hint of a smile to Chuck too before turning to look ahead and focus on the stairs quickly approaching. Then Blair reached up and gently touched the flower on her lapel, seeming like she was going to adjust it but took her hand away just as quickly.

Serena continued walking with her up the stairs, trying to understand what she'd just witnessed… and with startling clarity she knew why Blair was acting so different this morning. Chuck must have come back to see Blair after she'd kicked him out Saturday. Blair really must have gone to The Palace Saturday night to see Chuck. Did Chuck send Blair flowers?

Serena's stomach twisted and she tried not to panic as she realized that even though she had succeeded in stopping Nate from coming back into Blair's life, she had seriously failed at removing Chuck from it. On the one hand she knew that Blair being happy right now was a very good sign and would go a long way to helping her get over her problem. But on the other hand… she knew Chuck. And she knew that Chuck would inevitably do something to hurt Blair again.

And she didn't know if she'd be able to pick up the pieces when it happened.

* * *

After he turned his attention from Blair, he continued to act as nonchalantly as possible.

Chuck had been waiting in the same spot for a little while. He didn't want to go inside as soon as she passed. People might actually think—if they were paying him any attention—that he'd been waiting until Blair showed up… which he had. But only to get a glimpse of her and see her reaction from the flowers.

She definitely approved of the gesture. The small smile coupled with the rose _and_ the accessories to match said that clearly enough. She was wearing it for him. She had _dressed_ for him.

He noticed that some guys were passing and seemed to be on the verge of laughing for some reason. He figured it was an inside joke, but he couldn't shrug it off when the guys kept glancing at him before passing.

Then he noticed some of the girls were giving him curious looks too… and they were holding their phones out.

He groaned and pulled out his phone, wondering what the hell the gossip queen had divulged now.

_Interesting…_ he thought. Maybe he wasn't as screwed as he thought he was. Gossip Girl seemed to be doing a fine job of building Blair's reputation back up. If things kept going this well he could tell Blair the truth and not have to worry at all. It would be something they could laugh about—how the little peons would suck up whatever they heard. Then they could scheme up something disturbing about someone else and get a good laugh as that other person was ruined.

But in case things didn't go as well as he was foolishly thinking, he was going to continue with his plan to give Blair the best Valentine's ever. He had a lot of plans for the week. The only day that he wouldn't be able to spend any time with her would be Wednesday. Bart and Lily wanted to have a family dinner before they left for some romantic getaway to celebrate their _love_. He tried not to smirk in disgust at that.

He had tried but there was no getting out of it. So instead he'd just have to settle for every other day of the week… and hope he'd be able to make up her mind to go to the gala with him.

He was relieved that his plans were going so well…he had one other thing on his list of things to accomplish today though.

And he was greatly looking forward to it.

* * *

Jenny was sitting on the bus in a window seat, staring outside at the world passing by. School was over for the day, and what a day it had been.

She felt so badly for Nate. She had tried to protect him but that stupid Melissa had spilled anyway. And now… it seemed that Blair wasn't quite the social pariah that she had been for the past month.

None of the other girls were actually talking to her yet, but Jenny knew that the curiosity was getting to them. They were ready to burst, dying to know the real scoop from the horse's mouth. Everyone was starting to realize that Blair had never confirmed or denied anything that was said a month ago…except to inform them all that she was _not_ pregnant.

In fact Jenny's very own group of friends was having the same reaction. Hazel had to snap at Kati and Is today. The two were looking at Blair with the same curious looks as everyone else. Hazel had gotten their attention very quickly with a "don't look at her!" They were all supposed to be shunning Blair as a united front. Kati and Is had done as she said, but Jenny had noticed them giving brief glances in Blair's direction whenever they passed her in the hall later on.

"You know…" came a deep voice from right behind her. It was so close that she nearly jumped out of her seat. "I admired your little rooftop bait and ditch."

Jenny fought to catch her breath after being so startled. She sat up straighter when she recognized the voice straight out of one of her worst nightmares. She struggled to put on a brave face and kept her voice sarcastic and snotty as she responded, "Oh really?"

"Admired it so much," Chuck continued in a languidly dangerous and sexy voice, almost like he was trying to seduce her again. Jenny felt cold fearful chills run up her spine as she wondered what new game he was trying to play here. "I let you get away with it."

"Right," Jenny gave a hesitant shout of laughter, trying not to betray the fact that she was shaking in her boots. He started chuckling along with her, causing her to pause because the fact that he was laughing right now was making her even more nervous.

If possible, she sat up even straighter when she felt his arm sliding up the window next to her. She had been looking straight forward throughout the entire exchange, but now her eyes were following his arm out of the corner of her eye. She breathed a slight sigh of relief when she saw his fingers press the yellow line at the top of the window, signaling his desire to get off.

He brought his arm back down and leaned toward her right side again, this time his lips were a breath away from her ear. The hair was standing up on the back of her neck as he breathed out, "That nose of yours? Should've kept it out of my business."

She started moving to her left away from him. He swept his head around to the other side. She felt him move and cringed to the right again. She froze when she felt his fingers trace the hair hanging down on the left side of her face. He tucked a curl behind her ear before whispering, "Poor little J… scared and confused," he said in a scary comforting voice. Then he leaned forward suddenly to almost press his face next to hers. She tried to move further to the right, but his right hand settled on her shoulder just then, holding her into place. "Should've never told Nate," he said in a hard voice before standing up swiftly pushing her slightly.

She cringed forward, but he was already out of his seat and walking toward the front of the bus. He got off swiftly and started down the sidewalk toward the back of the bus. She watched him stroll right by like he hadn't just threatened her and scared the hell out of her. She turned forward and tried not to panic.

How did Chuck find out? How long had he known? Nate wouldn't have told him—at least she hoped not—so it must have been Blair. But Blair and Chuck weren't talking! Jenny was still shaking. She knew she was flushed. She wanted to call Dan and tell him what had happened, but Dan wasn't talking to her right now. Dan didn't believe her about the Gossip Girl thing. Would he believe her if she told him what Chuck just said and did?

She knew that messing with Chuck could be bad, but she never dreamed he would take it to this level. Plus, she'd been thinking more about getting Blair back when she told Nate…not really thinking or caring about what it would mean to Chuck. What was he going to do to her? As much as Blair's threat to ruin her had sounded hollow, Chuck's threat was very real and so much more resounding.

She was screwed and she was scared. And she was alone in this… without an overprotective brother at her back… and with a handful of friends who were flighty at best as they laughed at the going-ons of one Chuck Bass.

She needed to calm down. She needed to think. If she wanted to be like how Blair _used_ to be, she had to act the way _Blair_ would act. But the question was…

What would Blair do?

* * *

_That went well,_ Chuck thought to himself as he reached into his pocket for his phone. Taking it out, he dialed a familiar number as his limo pulled up to the sidewalk in front of him.

He had given instructions for his driver to follow the bus while he played his little game with mini-Humpty Dump. He had waited for her to board before he got on. He managed to walk by her seat without her noticing. Then he slipped a guy in the seat behind her a hundred dollar bill. The guy had been more than willing to give up his seat then. He had settled in and glanced around before deciding that no one he knew was really on the bus. Either that, or had gotten off at one of the stops already.

He remembered that Dan took the same bus that he and Nate used on the mornings they lit up in Central Park… which meant that Little J would use the same route to get back home. He knew there was no chance of Nate getting on the same bus this time since tryouts were after school.

"Hello?"

"Hey…in the mood for a little company?" Chuck asked seductively into his phone as he opened the door to the limo.

"What did you have in mind?" Blair said with a smile in her voice.

"You…me…a bed…" Chuck began, sliding into the seat and closing the door.

"_Chuck_," Blair said with a slight warning, although she was clearly still in good spirits.

"and a movie," he finished.

"Well…" Blair rolled her eyes and thought about it. Her mother was having dinner with some guy she'd met over the holidays, and Blair didn't have any homework to do.

"I'll bring the flick," Chuck offered grinning to himself, just knowing she was going to cave any minute.

"You do that," Blair finally agreed.

"Thirty minutes," Chuck said before closing the phone with a snap.

* * *

Blair closed her phone and smiled to herself. She turned and walked down the hall.

"Dorota!" she called.

"Yes Miss Blair?" Dorota asked from her spot next to the stove. She was preparing a light dinner for Blair since Mrs.Waldorf would not be joining them.

"Dinner for two," she explained.

"Yes mum," Dorota nodded.

Blair turned and started to walk away before she turned back.

"A visitor will be arriving shortly. Send him upstairs," Blair said.

"Miss?" Dorota said, wondering if it was at all appropriate for a gentleman caller to be in Blair's room.

"Relax Dorota," Blair smiled enchantingly. "We're just going to watch a movie."

Dorota nodded, wondering if the gentleman was the one who had sent the roses. She was still a little worried, but seeing the smile on Blair's face did her heart good.

Blair turned away and wondered back down the hall, pausing to make sure the roses looked perfect before going up the stairs to her room. She didn't know what to do with herself for the next twenty-five minutes or so, so she grabbed a textbook and plopped down on her comforter. She didn't really need to do more studying at the moment, but she knew she'd drive herself insane waiting for him if she didn't do something.

She propped up a pillow behind her and scooted back to the headboard on the side furthest from the door. She crossed her legs Indian style and tucked her hair behind her ear as she leaned forward to read the book that was open in her lap.

After what seemed like forever, there was a knock on the inside of her doorframe.

She looked up and saw Chuck and smiled, "Thanks for the flowers."

"Thanks for wearing them," Chuck smiled back before coming over.

He seemed to actually hesitate—or was it her imagination?—before sitting down near the foot of the bed and tossing two slim boxes next to her.

She put the textbook on the small table next to her and picked up his choices.

"Cruel Intentions and Heathers?" she looked up at him grinned. "And here I thought you were enjoying the holiday spirit."

"I am," Chuck said, raising his eyebrows and tilting his head forward. "What could be more romantic than destroying reputations, lives, families… I could go on, but…"

"I get the point," she laughed. She looked back and forth between the two and finally tossed one to the side and held the other up.

"Heathers it is," Chuck nodded.

She got up and brought her laptop over, the charging cord trailed across the room. While she loaded the disc, he removed his coat—tossing it over her desk chair—before propping up the pillow on the side closest to the door and settling in.

She was on her knees with her back toward him and he couldn't help but admire her backside while she waited for the movie to load.

She looked back over her shoulder and caught him staring at her. He just grinned. She shook her head and finally pressed the play button before scooting back up the bed.

She settled against her pillow for a moment but then thought better of it and moved against his side.

He wrapped an arm around her and turned off the light. It was still light outside, but she had closed the curtains, so it was easy to see the screen.

They slowly got lost in the world of bitchiness, manipulation, and total psychological destruction. This was the stuff that he thrived on.

"Can you imagine?" Blair whispered about halfway through the movie.

"Hmm?" he muttered back, keeping his eyes on the screen. It was the part where they were setting up the football players to look like gay lovers who committed suicide rather than admit the truth.

"What if Constance had three Blairs?" Blair said, alluding to the fact that the movie was called "Heathers" because the three popular snotty "friends" of Wynona Ryder's character all had the same name.

Chuck burst out laughing at the very thought. "I don't even want to think about it," he said. One Blair was definitely enough.

"C'mon," Blair whispered, smiling up at him from her spot snuggled into his side. "You don't have one thought?" she asked in disbelief.

He looked down at her. "You're all the Blair I need," he said, grinning mischievously.

She rolled her eyes and looked back at the screen, burrowing deeper into his side again.

"Well…" Chuck considered. "That would give new meaning to a threesome."

Blair looked up at him in a huff and pulled back to punch him in the side.

He couldn't help but laugh.

"What!" Blair said, rolling her eyes wondering what he was going to say now.

"Nothing," he said, still looking down at her.

"I know you," Blair accused, "you want to say something else."

"You just look so cute when you're all huffy," Chuck admonished.

Blair pulled back and sat up. She pushed at him. "I am not," she argued.

He leaned toward her, "Are too." Why did they keep getting into these silly arguments that loosely resembled childish fights?

"Not," she whispered. He noticed that her eyes had just moved down to his lips.

He grinned before kissing her finally. She didn't even hesitate this time. She shifted and sank down to her back. He followed her down and lay next to her as he explored her lips. Her hands slid up and she slid her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.

He didn't rush or hurry. He just focused on making out with her, giving all his attention to her lips.

The movie continued to play in the background but they were completely oblivious…

He was starting to get a little too bothered by their session and was about to put an end to it when he felt her hands sliding down to his belt.

He knew what that meant. And he shouted at himself inside his head because he also knew what he was going to have to do. He couldn't sleep with her without telling her the truth…and since he wasn't going to tell her until after the gala…

_Damnit_, he screamed at himself.

He pulled his mouth back from hers. "Are too," he said, picking up the argument where they had left off.

She looked up at him in confusion. She thought that they were getting into this. He _seemed_ into it. Why was he pulling away from her and starting up some silly argument… at the same time that he seemed to be shifting his hips slightly away from her.

She didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. She frowned at him.

He didn't know how to explain either. So he awkwardly turned onto his back and tried to pretend that he was paying attention to the movie again. He could feel her eyes on him.

He hoped she didn't ask why…he didn't have a reason…and if she asked, he didn't know if he could pluck one out of the air… minutes ticked by and he was starting to relax because she hadn't asked yet. She might let it go…

But she was Blair Waldorf. She never let anything go.

"What was that?" Blair finally asked.

Chuck didn't answer.

"Why did you stop?" Blair asked.

Chuck didn't want to answer. He kept his eyes straight ahead on the screen, pretending intense interest in…whatever the hell was happening in the movie.

Blair sat up and started to get out of the bed. He knew she was getting pissed. He had hoped he had passed that. He reached out for her arm.

She paused and sat back on the bed, turning to look at him. He let go, but was back to looking at the screen again. She was about to huff in frustration and get up to leave the room in anger when he finally asked a soft question out of the side of his mouth.

"Are you on birth control yet?" he muttered, grasping at the only excuse he could come up with.

She hesitated before answering with a simple, "No."

"Exactly," he muttered. He relaxed back onto his pillow again, hoping that was answer enough. He'd really plucked that one out of nowhere. And it wasn't a lie anyway. Condoms did break and he wasn't taking anymore chances with Blair.

She thought about what he said and she understood what he was saying without him having to say it.

She let out a deep breath and scooted back over to his side. She snuggled against him again as Heathers played out its final scenes.

"Want to have dinner before the next movie?" Blair finally asked, her voice somewhat nicer.

He grinned slowly. "Yeah, but first…" he reached over to his coat.

"What…" she trailed off as she saw the small flat box he removed from one of his oversized pockets. "Chuck…" she said, feeling slightly worried about its contents, not knowing what this meant.

He handed it to her and leaned forward to kiss her gently. She looked at him with wide eyes. "Our first Valentine's…might as well make the most of it," he whispered. He knew his words were bold. She hadn't agreed to go with him to the Gala. She hadn't agreed to anything with him…well accept for what had almost happened a little while ago.

She didn't know if she wanted to open the present. The flowers had been more than enough of an apology. She knew she'd feel even worse when she opened that box. Well, she'd feel happy too, of course. But she still didn't know if she wanted to be with Chuck for all the world to see. Their "_first_ Valentine's" is what he said…did he really think that they would…? She held back a sigh. She didn't know about the Gala, she didn't know about so many things. She didn't know if what they _really_ needed right now was to be together. Yes, they had just made out, and yes, she'd been willing to go further…but she didn't want to lose their friendship again either. She kept hesitating, not opening the box yet.

Chuck's hand covered hers. She looked up into his eyes. "It's just a gift Waldorf. I'm not looking for anything in return," he said, very serious now.

She slowly nodded and opened it. She gasped. It was a diamond tennis bracelet, absolutely gorgeous and flawless. "Chuck!" she exclaimed.

He picked it up out of the case and waited expectantly. She held out her arm slowly and he clasped it gently around her wrist. She kept looking up at him with the widest eyes. He couldn't help but smile. She scooted toward him and he wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you," she whispered.

Then she let out a small laugh. He pulled back and arched his eyebrows. "But I didn't get you anything," she said.

"How about two more Blairs?" he smirked.

She burst out laughing and grabbed his arm.

"Let's go Romeo," she smiled. "Dinner is served."

He just let her drag him along.

Monday was definitely a success.

He hoped Tuesday went just as well.

Only four more days to the Sweetheart Gala.

He didn't know if he was excited or worried... but he knew that if he was going down, he would be going out with a bang.

_

* * *

_

To be continued… 


	14. Chapter 13

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about the new episodes due in April. Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

* * *

**Monday, February 11****th****. Around 9pm. 4**_ days until the Sweetheart Gala_

Chuck had been gone for all of ten minutes before Blair decided to check her cell phone. She had left it on vibrate for the entire evening. She hadn't wanted any interruptions—including Serena calling to bug her about visiting the shrink again.

She almost hadn't picked Heathers to watch at all because of the references to Heather Duke's bulimia but Chuck didn't know about her little problem… and it _was_ a good movie.

She opened it up and sure enough she had about five missed calls and three text messages: all from Serena.

Blair rolled her eyes and finally just called Serena back without checking any of the messages.

"Hey S," Blair said when she answered.

"Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you forever," Serena said.

"I was busy. Now I'm not. What's up?" Blair asked, trying to convey that there was no room for discussion about what the "busy" portion of her evening entailed.

"You're talking to Chuck again, aren't you?" Serena accused.

Blair paused, a little startled. _How did she find out so quickly?_

When Blair didn't respond fast enough, Serena forged ahead, "I saw the rose B. And I saw the smiles this morning. Please tell me I'm wrong. _Please_."

"Really Serena," Blair said trying to force sarcasm into her voice.

"Don't Blair," Serena said firmly. "Don't lie to me. _Why_? After everything?"

"Serena…" Blair said weakly.

"He can't be trusted! He's the reason all this is happening to you! Just forget about him B! Forget about Chuck, forget about Nate, and just move on!" Serena insisted.

Blair felt a small flash of anger. "Don't tell me what to do," she snapped.

"Blair," Serena tried to relax her voice, "I'm not… I'm just worried about you. Please don't do this."

"I'll be fine Serena," Blair explained. "Really, I will."

Serena was silent for a long moment.

"Are you just friends again or is it more?" Serena asked quietly.

Blair didn't respond. She didn't know how to. She didn't know what they were.

"Blair…" Serena said morosely, disappointed.

"Serena, I really don't think this is any of your business," Blair said harshly.

"You _are_ my business," Serena held firm. "You're my best friend B; I don't want to see you get hurt again."

"I won't," Blair reassured her. And she wouldn't. She wasn't going to trust Chuck.

Serena sighed in frustration.

"Just… don't do anything crazy B. Take your time. Take things slow. _Please?_" Serena insisted.

"We are," Blair said with a slight smile of irony in her voice. _He_ was the one who slowed things down. She was still a little shocked by that.

"Good…" Serena trailed off. She didn't really believe that, but what else was there to say?

"Good night S," Blair said.

"Night B…" Serena said softly. Blair had already hung up the phone though.

Serena sighed and hung up herself.

She had a really bad feeling about this.

* * *

Tryouts were a breeze. Part of the reason he enjoyed running so much was that he could escape all his problems and let them fly out of the back of his head as he charged forward.

And today had definitely been a day for escaping problems.

No one had asked him about the truth of Gossip Girl's latest blog during the day. That didn't mean they weren't curious.

He wasn't sure what the latest breaking news would mean but he'd found out after practice.

He did invite a few guys from the team to shoot some hoops. Most of them were up for it, so they'd gotten a game running. But things went sour when there was a questionable pass and throw. He'd always been easy going and cool with the guys, but some dick on the other team decided that Nate had traveled and taken a cheap shot. Nate had been shocked and denied it. That was just ridiculous. He'd taken that shot fair and square.

And the same Dick, whom was ironically named Richard, laughed it off but made a spiteful comment about Nate thinking he could cheat and get away with it.

Dick had smiled maliciously at Nate before throwing the ball hard straight at him. Nate was startled and almost dropped the bloody thing.

He had tried to ignore the insult and get back into the game but Dick was on point with him and kept playing dirty. He started shoving him a little harder as Nate tried to get an open shot. He ended up passing, but Dick ended up tripping him "accidentally" a second after he threw the ball. Nate didn't fall, but he did get up into Dick's face and ask him what the hell his problem was.

Dick just raised his hands as if in surrender. The situation slowly spiraled out of control after that. It was supposed to be a friendly fun game of basketball but it was turning into a Dick bashing contest. Nate wanted to just leave the game, but he felt like that would be giving in and admitting that what Dick said was true.

It was just all so ridiculous. He wasn't a cheater… except he had cheated on Blair, but that was so different than what Dick was insinuating.

He put up with the crap as much as possible, until he finally cracked when Dick mentioned that it must have been a fine piece of ass indeed if he'd been stupid enough to cheat on his "helluva sexy" girlfriend for it.

Some of the guys who had formally joked about Blair being the ice queen had gotten a load of her moves and appeal at the PVD party. And they had also noticed Matt's attention directed at her. The majority of them had thought the same thing that Matt was thinking—Chuck had to have lied. And if the other half of Gossip Girl's message about Chuck secretly _dating_ Blair was true, Blair really must have been amazing in bed. That was the only conclusion to reach if the womanizing ass that they all knew and loved for his sexual exploits had succumbed to one woman…and his best friend's ex at that.

The rest of the guys could care less about the drama going on in Nate's life. They just wanted to have a good time and hang out after a grueling tryout. Luke, one of the guys on Nate's team, was completely exasperated. He hadn't been in the mood for this crap. He interrupted the argument when it looked like Nate was finally going to fight back. He smoothed things over and the guys got back into the game with Tim as Nate's guard instead of Dick. But Nate wasn't feeling it anymore. Fifteen minutes later he made his excuses and took off.

He'd been surprised when Luke and Tim followed him. They struck up a conversation about the new coach and their previous meet times. It was all good natured and Nate was finally breathing easier. They ended up going to hang out at Nate's and tossing the Wii paddle around.

The guys didn't ask about the Gossip Girl crap and Nate managed to clear his head for the first time all day… well, in a month really.

After the guys left, Nate began to ponder one other question running through his mind all day. How _did_ Gossip Girl find out about him and Serena? He didn't want to think it, but he had a sneaking suspicion it was Blair. Chuck would never admit to being so close to Blair especially since Nate figured out that Blair didn't want Chuck. And the only other person who probably knew all the details was Serena, and he knew _she'd_ never tell anyone.

_Was Blair trying to get back at him?_ But then he dismissed that idea. She could have told everyone when the news about her hit but she hadn't. If she wanted to get back at him the time would have been _then_, not _now_.

He'd seen the shell she was a week ago. Her reputation was destroyed and she hadn't done anything to deserve it. It was nobody else's business who she slept with. The only person it mattered to was the person she was seeing. And even Nate knew that he was being unfair because they hadn't even been together when Blair moved on to Chuck. He just couldn't get past her not telling him—or that she'd picked Chuck to do it with…not to mention his sickly disturbing dreams. So… if she'd been the one to release the information, he couldn't fault her either. She was suffering because nobody knew the full truth. Now that the "world" knew more details, maybe things would be easier for her.

Of course that meant things were going to be harder on him… but he _was_ the one at fault. And he probably deserved everything he got.

* * *

**Tuesday, February 12****th****. 3**_ days until the Sweetheart Gala_

That was definitely a smile.

Blair tried not to show too much reaction, but she was startled.

There it was again… another small smile.

Had she really just walked down the hall to her homeroom class and been on the receiving end of four smiles of greeting? She had returned the smiles with a slight nod and a quick quirk of her lips, not divulging a full smile because it'd been so long since she'd used one at school.

She settled into her seat in homeroom. She looked around the room and realized that the only people still deliberately ignoring her were Hazel and Melissa. The rest of the girls were in the middle of conversations but weren't being obvious about it.

Serena hadn't arrived yet, but Hannah—the girl who sat on the other side of Blair—had. Blair couldn't believe it when she heard words come out of Hannah's mouth directed toward her.

"Those are to die for! Prada?" Hannah said, admiring Blair's heels. They were red 4-inch floral heeled with an ankle strap and velvet ribbon in a lazy bow across the top. They were extremely comfortable with a padded insole and leather lining.

Blair nodded hesitantly.

"I've seen most of the new spring line, but those must have been sold out at Bendels. Where did you find them?" Hannah asked.

"Saks," Blair responded. She'd had too much free time recently and, as a result, spent way too much time shopping.

Hannah smiled and opened her mouth to thank Blair but was interrupted by Hazel.

"I don't know Melissa," Hazel said loudly and pointedly. "Sluts wear Prada's Vernice Vellutos. I wouldn't want the shoe's reputation to wear off on me."

Hannah looked back at Hazel before swinging around forward quickly, reprimanded and sorry she'd displeased her.

Blair merely smirked at Hazel. She found this quite amusing. Hazel was getting defensive which could only mean that she was worried.

Hazel saw Blair's smug smile and tried not to go through the roof.

"Don't take it out on the shoe," Melissa laughed, wanting to continue the putdown because she was getting worried too… worried because Hazel still thought _she_ was the one to tell Gossip Girl and she didn't know what would happen if Blair really did manage to get her popularity back. "The shoe does not make the woman."

"You are so right," Hazel said with a smirk and sly laugh of her own.

Blair just laughed before turning her attention back to Hannah. "You're welcome," she said in response to the "thank you" that Hannah hadn't gotten out.

Hannah hesitated before giving Blair a quick smile. She swung her head back to see if Hazel had seen the exchange, a little anxious, but she just decided to look forward again since the teacher was bringing attention to the class.

Blair relaxed back in her seat, more confident than ever that things were getting back on track. She was Blair Waldorf. She didn't stay down for long.

And revenge would be so sweet… as sweet as the gold collection chocolates that Chuck had sent to her this morning. He really needed to stop giving her all these gifts! She didn't know why he was making such a big deal about the holiday. And it wasn't like they were a couple. And it also wasn't like they _both_ hadn't made mistakes with each other these past few months. She _had_ dumped him and she _had_ slept with Nate. Of course, he was definitely no blushing virgin—hadn't been for many years—and her little itty bitty two in no way compared with his number of bed partners. But she still couldn't understand why he seemed to be trying so hard.

She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and reached for it. She checked to make sure the teacher wasn't looking before reading the message.

**sending a car at 5. be ready. dress to impress.**

Well, she'd say this for him. He certainly knew how to make things interesting.

* * *

He didn't get to see her that morning.

He got to school a little too late. But he did see Serena. She gave him a death stare before heading up the steps into school. He figured if she was alone Blair must have already arrived. He also figured that if Serena was glaring at him, she must know something was up with him and Blair again.

He found it amusing that the little princess thought a glare of warning would impede his progress with Blair. He wondered if Serena had tried to talk Blair out of it. He wouldn't put it past her.

But it didn't matter. Things were going smoothly with Blair.

It'd been a while since he'd spent a lazy evening in bed doing nothing but watching movies…well, they _did_ have another make out session during Cruel Intentions. He smirked to himself remembering it. She'd been so hot for him that time. It was all he could do to stop things from going further.

Tonight was definitely going to be the ultimate test of his ability to resist temptation. Speaking of, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone to send Blair a text about his plans.

He grinned to himself as he sent it off. If she had any lingering doubts about them, they should be gone that evening. He was going a little over the top, but he wanted to seal the deal tonight—and not in a sexual way.

She was going to agree to go to the damn gala with him.

**as u wish**

He rolled his eyes. Acting submissive was definitely not in her nature. He could hear her saying that as sarcastically as possible in his head. But she'd say it with a little quirk to her lips, the apples of her cheeks slightly flushed in amusement…and that little hint of a smile would make him feel like he was kicked in the stomach again.

He shook his head in disgust as he settled into his seat in homeroom. What the hell was she doing to him? He'd never worked this hard for a girl in his life. This went beyond his usual need for possession. He didn't just want to control her. He wanted all of her.

It still grated on his gut that he wasn't her one and only. Part of the appeal before the ball was that he'd been the only one to go all the way with her. He had wanted to be the only one to ever be inside of her. He was being considerably naïve and selfish. It wasn't like he could be the same thing to her. He loved nothing more than to divest virgins of their pesky purity. He loved knowing that he was the first to plow through that thin barrier. A lot of girls' belonged to him that way. He hadn't really cared what they did after he was done, but with Blair it was different.

Everything was different with Blair. She was truly unique. He'd never met anyone else like her. And he had forgiven her. He could get past the fact that things weren't how he imagined them to be. Things never worked out completely in his favor anymore anyway.

Just like this little bit of truth was hovering over his head. He knew he was in hot water. She could go either way when he finally told her. He was a little aggravated that for one of the first times in her life she hadn't been able to see the truth clearly. All of this would have already been water under the bridge if she had just connected the dots to make the right picture. It wouldn't have been a pretty one, but it would have been the truth.

He forced the thoughts out of his head. He wasn't one to worry. He was confident that everything would work out. Saturday was taking forever to get here though. This seemed to be the longest week ever. Saturday was the day he could finally tell her.

He wasn't looking forward to it.

* * *

"Blair?"

Blair looked up from her notes. Her American History class was right next door to her English class—her last class of the day, so she'd gotten there quickly after the ringing of the bell. She was reviewing her notes so she could impress the teacher with her knowledge of the subject as always.

As she looked up, she saw that a group of three girls had walked up next to her. It was Hannah, Natalie, and Liz. They seemed a little nervous.

"Yes?" she asked. She wasn't going to greet them with a smile until she knew the reason they were speaking to her.

Hannah cleared her throat and spoke for the other girls, "The Sweetheart Gala is Friday; and well… you usually sign up for the committee to arrange everything. You didn't this year."

Blair just looked at her, no expression showing, waiting for her to get to the point. She hadn't signed up because signups were the same week that her life fell apart. Volunteering for a dance committee had been the last thing on her mind.

"Everything is basically planned, but we were wondering if you'd be interested in helping with the last minute details," Hannah finished.

Blair continued to look at her. Hannah was shifting her feet a little. The other girls seemed to be even more nervous now. To say that Blair was pleased was putting it lightly, but it wasn't going to be this easy.

"Wouldn't Hazel and Melissa have something to say about that, seeing as how Hazel is the committee head?" Blair finally asked sharply.

"It's a school function. Everyone who wants to help is allowed to. And…" Hannah trailed off and looked at Liz. Liz rolled her eyes and finished the sentence.

"She doesn't really get things done," Liz said firmly, losing some of her nervousness. "She orders everyone around but things are still going to be a mess come Friday night."

Blair felt a small smile forming on her lips.

"Please help us Blair," Natalie spoke up for the first time.

Blair thought carefully about her next words. "So, you have no problem asking for my help even though you haven't said one word to me in over a month?" She looked amused.

The girls were back to being nervous.

"We're… sorry," Hannah finally answered for the group. "We shouldn't have judged you. We know that we were wrong." The other two nodded in agreement.

Blair continued to make eye contact with each of the girls, making them twitch on their feet for a minute longer, before finally giving a larger smile.

"I suppose I can give a few pointers," Blair said. The girls breathed out sighs of relief. "I'll meet you at lunch tomorrow." She waited to see if they would balk at the idea of being seen publicly with her. They didn't even blink.

The girls nodded happily before Liz and Natalie took off for their next period classes. Hannah settled into a seat next to her. Hannah didn't sit next to her in this class but she apparently did today.

At least Melissa and Hazel weren't in this one too or Hannah might not have been so bold. Hannah opened her notebook and looked over at Blair. Now that the hard part was over, she wondered if she would be able to get some information out of Blair. Everyone was dying with curiosity about yesterday's Gossip Girl post—Hannah included.

"So… Blair," Hannah began. Blair looked over at her with a question on her face. "I know it might not be my business, but did you really go out with Chuck Bass?"

Blair hesitated before finally tossing the girls a bone. She knew how the girls at Constance ran with news. She had been waiting for someone to try to confirm GG's dish.

"Yes," she said simply before turning back to her notes.

"So… when you and Nate were broken up?" Hannah dared to ask.

Blair gave Hannah an amused ironic smile, "Yes."

"And did Nate really—," Hannah started to ask about Nate cheating since Blair had been so forthcoming but was cut off.

"Hannah, I really need to focus on my notes," Blair said, glancing toward her briefly before focusing her attention on the paper in front of her again.

She wasn't going to gossip about Nate. She had hurt him too much already. He had hurt her too, but she didn't see how any of this was anyone else's business. She knew how damaged she'd been by Gossip Girl. She wasn't going to confirm anything that could further damage Nate too. She hadn't wanted to sully his name by telling Melissa in the first place, but she was so tired of everyone thinking so horribly of her.

"Oh, right," Hannah said with a quick nod before turning to do the same thing. She didn't usually read her notes before class, but it seemed like a good idea since Blair was doing it.

Blair looked out of the corner of her eye and saw Hannah and a few other girls following her lead. She held back her smile.

_Like taking candy from a baby_, she smirked. Wouldn't Hazel and Melissa be so happy to know that things were spiraling completely out of their control?

But where would the fun be in them knowing?

* * *

"Slow down woman!" Serena exclaimed. "Where are you going so fast?" She was trying to catch up with Blair after school, but the demons of hell seemed to be at her heels.

"I have things I've got to get done!" Blair explained. "So much homework! And an errand too." She wanted to get something for Chuck. She wasn't sure _what_ she'd get yet, but she really should get him something for Valentine's since he kept buying her stuff.

"Do you need any help?" Serena asked.

"No, S. I can handle this one. Thanks," Blair said, looking back over her shoulder to smile at Serena before looking ahead again and keeping up her pace.

Serena just watched her leave. She wondered what was going on with her now. Blair had about as much homework as she did, and it shouldn't take that long. What errand did she have to run?

"Good afternoon beautiful," Dan said as he slipped up behind her and slid an arm around her waist from the back.

Serena leaned back against him and clasped his arm. She tilted her head back against his shoulder and grinned up at him. "Good afternoon handsome," she whispered.

He gave her a little upside down kiss and she laughingly turned around in his embrace to kiss him more fully.

"Any plans for the afternoon?" Dan asked.

"Well….not really," Serena said with a girly smile.

"Good, because there's this café with our names on it just _waiting_ for us to discover it's cocoa-y goodness," Dan explained with a laugh. "Well, and there's coffee." It was the second week of February and it was cold. A little after school drink would serve to warm them up, and a little after school time with Serena would serve to warm him up even more.

"Sounds like a plan!" Serena said. "And where is this little slice of heaven?"

"In Brooklyn," Dan explained.

"Then we better get that bus," Serena said, looking pointedly at the bus approaching across the street.

They made a dash for it and caught it before it took off.

"So how's Eric doing?" Dan asked once they settled into their seats. She was leaning against him and smiling that enchanting smile of hers.

"He seems to be okay," Serena said with a smile. "I've talked him into going to the gala but he balked at the idea of asking anyone. He only knows Blair and Jenny, but maybe he'll meet someone special at the dance."

"A tux with a van der Woodsen smile? He'll have all the ladies eating out of the palm of his hand," Dan reassured Serena.

Serena didn't need any reassurance though. "But of course!"

Dan was silent for a moment. "Hey, did you notice anything weird happen at school recently?"

"Weird how?" Serena asked. She hadn't noticed anything besides Blair's Chuck infatuation making a re-appearance.

"I haven't been saying much to Jenny, but she came home Monday upset about something," Dan said. "And this morning she was acting like she dreaded coming to school."

"Did you ask her about it?" Serena tried to think of anything that would cause Jenny to act that way, but came up empty.

"No…" Dan said, trailing off.

"Well maybe you should?" Serena said. She hadn't spoken to Jenny since Blair's humiliation, but Dan was her brother—for better or worse—and if he was concerned about his sister it was a good sign that maybe they could get their relationship back on track somewhat. She was actually relieved. She knew that the rift between Dan and Jenny was killing him.

"Yeah…" Dan trailed off. "Maybe I should…" He shrugged and changed the subject.

"How was school today darling?" Dan said in the perfect imitation of her mother. Serena cracked up laughing.

"It was fine, but I have a feeling the afternoon will be _much_ better," Serena flirted with him.

"Oh really," Dan said with his wry grin.

Serena just burrowed up against him and held on tight. He always had this way of making all her problems go away. And she definitely needed some clearing of the mind to stop the worry that kept rearing its ugly head over Blair and Chuck.

* * *

The second phase of tryouts was over and Nate had just finished chugging on his water bottle when he spotted a blonde standing by the fence. It was a blonde he knew and he figured by the hesitant expression on her face directed right at him that she wanted his attention.

Sighing and giving Luke a quick knuckle punch because they had just rocked the track coming in first and second, he went over to see what Jenny wanted.

"Hey Jenny, what's up?" Nate asked, he was still a little out of breath from his run. The gentle gasps for air mixed with the cold weather had him blowing smoke.

"I don't want to bother you," Jenny said softly. She was extremely uncertain about showing up here. She'd thought long and hard about "what would Blair do"? And she'd come up with Nate. Blair would go to Nate for help…maybe? Well, she was here now. She knew that he was nervous about the secret admirer thing. She hoped this didn't put his progress back. She _really_ wanted to be with him.

"No sweat," Nate said quickly. He looked at her expectantly. He hadn't tried to talk to her yesterday, he still wasn't sure if she was back to the "friends" mindset yet or not. He really hoped she wasn't here to do something stupid like ask him to the Sweetheart Gala. He didn't even have an excuse ready for that one.

"Did you…," Jenny trailed off before looking down. She seemed really upset now. Nate realized this wasn't about the gala. He started to ask her to continue when she finally looked up, her eyes wide. "Did you tell Chuck that I told you about him and Blair?"

"What? No," Nate said quickly. "I wouldn't have done that. I know how Chuck is."

Jenny breathed a slight sigh of relief. She hadn't really believed that he would have done it, but he was so trusting sometimes. He really might have said it thinking that it wouldn't matter.

But making sure that Nate hadn't told Chuck was only a small part of her problem. The larger part came in the shape of a brown haired, brown eyed, scarf wearing body of evil.

Jenny nodded at Nate and looked down again, wondering if she could really ask him this.

Nate noticed her being so quiet. Between her question and her being so upset, he finally put the pieces together. "He knows," he said with a wince of understanding.

Jenny looked up and nodded. She looked to the left quickly.

"What did he do?" Nate asked, anger starting to rise that Chuck would take this out on Jenny. Chuck was the one who betrayed him by sleeping with Blair. It shouldn't have mattered how Nate found out. He still did it.

"Nothing really," Jenny said. She looked heavenward but he could see that her eyes had a slightly glassy look.

"Jenny?" Nate asked gently.

"He threatened me," she said in a small voice. "He said he was going to get me back," she paused to clear her throat to fight back a sob. "I'm so scared Nate," she said. "I don't know what he's going to do, but after what he tried at Kiss On The Lips, I can't help but think the worst."

Nate fisted his hand. Damn Chuck to hell. Nate may not be interested in Jenny, but she was a friend and he was protective of his friends.

"What did Dan say?" Nate managed to ask, wondering if Dan would take care of this like he had last time.

"Dan's still not speaking to me," Jenny said, wiping her hand furiously at her eye, shaking her head as if to clear it. "He thinks I was the one that told Gossip Girl about Blair. He won't believe me every time I tell him I didn't do it."

Nate was silent for a long moment. He knew what he was going to have to do but he wasn't looking forward to it.

"I'll talk to Chuck," Nate finally said. He never wanted to talk to him again, but someone needed to protect Jenny from Chuck. And it wasn't like he was going to do much talking with him anyway.

Jenny seemed to relax right in front of him. "Thanks," she whispered, giving him a real smile for the first time that afternoon.

Nate just nodded. "I've got to get back," he excused, motioning over his shoulder to the field.

"Okay," Jenny said. "Later Nate." She turned and walked away, feeling more relieved than she had in a while.

"Later," Nate said softly.

He watched her back for a minute. He was really going to have to be in the same vicinity of Chuck Bass again—one that didn't involve school. His ex-best friend was a real piece of work alright. He tried to remember why they'd been so close to begin with—funny how his memory was getting fuzzy on that point.

* * *

_To be continued…_


	15. Chapter 14

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about the new episodes due in April. Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

* * *

**Tuesday, February 12****th****. After school. 3**_ days until the Sweetheart Gala_

**Spotted: Seems Little J may have a new afternoon pastime. Putting in a little time checking out track and field tryouts, hmm? Looking for a potential hottie... or do you already have one in mind? Looks like J doesn't mind the rumors surrounding N… if their little discussion over the fence was any indication. With Valentine's drawing near, and everyone lining up dates for the Sweetheart Gala, is love in the air for these two? And it seems that B is spreading the latest buzzzz. Sources say B herself has confirmed the rumors about her and C being extra **_**friendly**_** during N&B's breakup. No word yet on N's little "oopsie" though. Did he or didn't he? Will we ever know? You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl.**

* * *

Hazel was pissed but she was trying not to show it… she wasn't succeeding.

Melissa, Kati, and Is were lying around Melissa's room with Hazel after school. They were going through magazines, taking quizzes, talking about the latest celebrity gossip, when they got a message from Gossip Girl.

No one really knew what to say in response to the post. They all knew that Hazel had a thing for Nate. They also knew that the past two times Hazel tried to hook up with him at a party he had shot her down. But then, they also thought that Jenny had a thing for Nate too even though she never mentioned anything about him in front of the girls.

So, Melissa tried to smooth things over. She knew Hazel was already cranky about some of the girls talking to Blair at school that day. She knew that she was going to be in _big_ trouble if Blair became more popular—even though she hadn't been the one to tell Gossip Girl. And she knew that Hazel may explode any minute about this post—even though it was clear Hazel was trying to act nonchalantly about it.

"I almost had a heart attack when I read that Benji was dating Paris!" Melissa said.

"Why?" Is asked, clearly confused.

"Because I totally got Benji and Joel mixed up and for a minute I thought that Benji was the one that had knocked up Nicole, but it was Joel," Melissa said, laughing at herself.

"Oh," Kati said, trying to piece together what Melissa was saying. "It's so funny actually. Paris and Nicole could end up being sisters! By marriage of course, but sisters totally!"

Hazel just remained silent, flipping her magazine, trying not to give too much excessive force.

"Maybe we should find a set of twins to marry," Is said, looking toward Kati. "Then we would, like, totally be sisters!"

"Duh, Is," Kati said, rolling her eyes. "We're already like sisters! You're the bestest BFF ever!"

"Aw," Is said with a tilt of her head. "So are you!"

Melissa watched the exchange and wished she was close enough friends with someone to be the very best of friends. So far the only two relationships she had witnessed like that were Kati and Is, and Blair and Serena. She had somewhat hoped that over time her and Hazel or her and Jenny could connect that way—it would be better if it was Hazel because she was a junior while Jenny was a freshman—but she had put that whole idea out of her head some time ago. Hazel didn't want to be BFFs like the rest of them were.

It would be so great to be more like how Blair used to be. Perfect best friend, perfect reputation, perfect boyfriend…Melissa seemed to be drawing the short straw on most of those accounts. She had thought that she might have the perfect boyfriend in Matt, but he hadn't called her yet. And since it was Tuesday, the three day rule was officially over. She didn't know what to do now. Maybe he just had too much on his mind with school and stuff?

"Knock, knock?" Elise said tentatively from the open doorway. She was carrying a tray of piping hot beverages from the shop down the street.

"Finally," Hazel said with a huff. She tossed her magazine to the side and stood up to grab the tray from Elise.

Elise looked around the room. This was the first time she'd been to Melissa's and she wanted to take in everything. So far none of the girls' rooms compared in any way to the maturity and elegance that was Blair's room.

She waited for Hazel to say something to her, but instead she just completely ignored her as she began to pass out the frappachinos and lattes to everyone. When it became evident that Hazel was going to sit down without saying anything else to Elise, Elise began to wonder if maybe she didn't have to leave. She wondered over to the side of the room with the vanity, since Melissa was on the other side of the room at her desk sitting back in her chair, lounging as she read.

"Ooh, quiz time!" Melissa said. She'd found a quiz in her mag.

"What do you got?" Is asked, looking up anxiously.

"Um… is he more than just a friend?" Melissa said, reading the title. Then she realized she might not want to do this quiz.

"Oh, that's perfect for you Melissa," Hazel exclaimed before snatching the magazine out of her hand. "Let's see."

Melissa gulped. She really didn't want to take this quiz. She had been on mild friendly terms with Matt before Friday night. He had acknowledged her because she was part of the most popular girl group at Constance. That was one of the reasons he had told her about the latest thing Chuck had told him concerning Blair's abilities in bed. She had taken great joy in spreading that information further and using it to slap the former queen verbally. The day she had sent Blair running… well, briskly walking…she had been overjoyed. And Hazel had looked on her with approval.

But after Friday night…she wasn't so sure what to think about them. They had sex…but he still hadn't called.

"When he's with his friends and sees you he a—barely looks up, b—always runs over to see how you are, or c— nods at you but continues his conversation," Hazel read off the first question before looking up expectantly at Melissa.

Melissa shifted in her seat. She didn't want to answer that.

"Come on Melissa," Hazel encouraged, "just answer the question."

Melissa slowly muttered, "a".

Kati and Is looked down and pretended to be engrossed in their magazines.

Elise was amazed at how the popular girls spent their time. Did Hazel actually enjoy tormenting her own friends? Is this how it always was in private between them? In public they always seem to have each other's backs.

"When it comes to myspace or facebook he's a—all over the page leaving little cute notes everywhere every day, b—can't be found, or c—makes a few appearances to see what the weekend plans are," Hazel read out loud.

"I don't have one of those, so I can't answer that question," Melissa said quickly.

"But you have a live journal, what about that?" Hazel asked. She was enjoying shifting the focus of failed relationship attempts on Melissa and off of her.

Melissa finally sighed in frustrated acceptance. Hazel wasn't going to stop asking these questions so she might as well get through them as quickly as possible so they can move on to the next subject and forget about her and Matt.

"B," Melissa finally answered.

"You have been friends for a—a couple weeks, you're still getting to know each other, b—so long you can't remember how you met, or c—a few months, ever since that school trip you went on together," Hazel read.

"Well, we have grown up at the same schools forever and known each other socially since we were kids. None of the answers really work, but I guess I'd go with 'b'," Melissa finally decided.

"The rest of your friends think a—enough is enough, it's time you two got together already, b—things are good the way they are—friendly, or c—he's more into the game than you," Hazel read. Then she looked at Kati and Is, "Well? Friends? What do you think?"

Melissa looked at Kati and Is, wondering what they really thought.

Kati and Is didn't want to be involved in this quizzing. They didn't want to tell Melissa the truth, but after Hazel glared at them they mumbled "b".

Hazel started laughing, "You two lie so well. You know it's 'c"." She looked down to start reading the next question. "Oh look, it's the last one."

Melissa closed her eyes, hoping it wasn't too harsh. She didn't want to face the reality that she may have made a mistake Friday. And the fact that _Hazel_ even thought he wasn't into her meant that she was stupid for thinking that he _would_ call after all this time.

"What's the last compliment he gave you: a—nice outfit, b—you're so cool, or c—," Hazel broke off for a minute, giving a slight laugh at the last option. "Thanks for giving me a ride." Hazel dissolved into laughter.

Kati and Is couldn't stop themselves from giving a small bark of laughter either. Elise even gave a little smile—she didn't know why it was so funny, but she wanted to join in since she was there.

Melissa tightened her already closed eyes and finally stood up abruptly to snatch the magazine back from Hazel's hand. "That's enough of that quiz." She sat down with a huff and turned to her computer to try to tune Hazel out and check her live journal.

Hazel just grinned at her, laughing a little more. She looked at Kati and Is to see if they were enjoying this as much as her. They were still giving small smiles, but their attention was on their magazines. Hazel finally spotted Elise again.

"What are you still doing here?" Hazel asked with derision. She hadn't paid the little brat any mind after taking the drinks from her. She knew Elise was still in the room, but she'd wanted to give Melissa a little hell and make it worse by doing it in front of an outsider.

"Uh, I, uh," Elise stuttered, not knowing what to say.

"You can leave now," Hazel granted her permission with a sweeping gesture towards the door.

Elise quickly scampered for the door, grateful to be out of the hostile atmosphere. As she rushed down the stairs and out of the house she wondered to herself, once again, why she had ever wanted to be friends with those people in the first place.

She was glad Blair had included her in her plan to take these people down. Kati and Is had always been somewhat kinder to her, if sarcastic about being so, but Hazel and Melissa were just plain horrible. And Jenny was a part of the group too. If Blair and Elise didn't do something to knock Jenny off of her pedestal, Elise would have to put up with Jenny for two years by herself once Blair graduated next year.

And that was not something Elise was looking forward to.

* * *

Blair had finished the little bit of homework she had left to do in record time—it didn't hurt that she'd used her lunch time and study hall time to get as much done as she could. She was glad Chuck had mentioned his plans at the beginning of the day otherwise she would be scampering right now to finish and not be able to focus on getting ready.

What in the world did he have planned? She hoped he wasn't going too crazy. She had never said she wanted to go out with him. She kept thinking about his words from yesterday:

"_Our first Valentine's…might as well make the most of it."_

Was that really what she wanted? Did she really want to be with Chuck? He had done so much to hurt her out of spite already. She really missed their closeness though. They had always been good friends and they enjoyed the same things. She just hid her amusement at scenes and scandals better than he did.

And they _had_ forgiven each other. She wondered if they were making a mistake in going back to where they were before the ball…with the exception of actual copulation. She was actually glad he had stopped them from going further. As much as she told Serena she was fine and _would_ be fine, she knew that things were very tentative at best.

Then she read Gossip Girl's latest post.

And she couldn't help slamming things around while she was getting ready. She wondered what Jenny and Nate were talking about. She hoped her plans weren't being ruined. Her plan was two-fold so she'd get Jenny one way or the other, but she was hoping for both ways.

_Was_ Nate interested in _Jenny_? She didn't want to think about the possibility. She _couldn't_ think about the possibility. She loved Nate so much and would give anything to still be with him. She hadn't really thought about things as far as Nate not being with her meant he could go out with someone else.

She threw her brush across the room and tried to get a hold of herself.

He was hers! They had loved each other forever! She knew that the fact that he hadn't spoken to her in a month meant that they might really be over for good, but she'd always held out hope in the back of her mind….which was probably why she couldn't make a decision about Chuck's invitation.

She knew she was being irrational. Here she was spending time with Chuck and contemplating being with him and now she was having a jealous fit over Nate? Serena had been adamant about forgetting both of them, but how could she?

She sat down and tried to think about what she really wanted. She hadn't thought about her hopes and dreams for so long because they all seemed to be permanently out of her grasp….

But if she really _really_ had that hope of working things out with Nate… there was no way she could take things further with Chuck. Nate would never _ever_ forgive her if she started seeing his best friend again… well _ex-_best friend. He would completely move on and forget about her.

So… she took a deep breath and finally made her decision.

She was going to go to this dinner that Chuck had planned, but she was going to tell him in no-uncertain terms that she just wanted them to be friends…which meant no more kissing, no more touching, and no more talk about "first" Valentines and what not.

If Chuck didn't take the news well it might mean she would be all alone with just Serena and Elise again… but she was starting to make friends at school. The tide was beginning to turn. And maybe, just _maybe_, that meant things could start to turn in her favor with Nate too.

She knew one thing though. After Friday night, no one—including Nate—would ever want anything to do with Jenny again.

* * *

Melissa had finally said her goodbyes to her "friends" and was lying completely sprawled out on her bed.

Why did Hazel have to do that? And why did that stupid quiz have to drill home the fact that she and Matt would never be more than "casual acquaintances"? Was it just casual sex to Matt? Why hadn't he called her?

She had tried to catch glimpses of him at school and succeeded, but he hadn't even looked in her direction.

She sighed and resigned herself to getting ready for some dinner her parents were dragging her to with some new business associates. She knew she would be dour-faced and quiet all evening, but she _had_ to go.

She finished changing clothes and sat at her vanity to freshen up her makeup and accessorize.

She went through her jewelry box and then looked all around the vanity and desk area but still couldn't find the bracelet she was looking for. _Where could it be?_

Then she realized she had worn it Friday night.

She didn't know if she was excited about having a reason to call Matt, or dreading what he would say, but she didn't hesitate to pick up her phone and call him.

"Yo," Matt said in greeting.

"Matt, it's me," Melissa said softly.

"Who?" Matt asked, confused.

"Melissa…" there was silence for a minute.

"Oh yeah, sup babe?" Matt asked distractedly.

"Um, I was wondering if you've seen my bracelet? It's silver plated and has a floral design etched in the side," Melissa asked nervously.

"Uh… why would I have seen it?" Matt asked. Just then he beat Brandon at their video game. "Oh yeah! Who's the man! Who's THE MAN!" He jumped to his feet and shouted at Brandon.

"Um, hello?" Melissa said trying to get Matt's attention.

"What?" Matt said, directing his attention back to his Bluetooth.

"I was at your house… Friday night? Remember?" Melissa said on the edge of her seat.

"That was you? Oh, yeah, I'll look for it," Matt said, his attention was back on the game again.

Melissa didn't say anything else. Her stomach plummeted and her eyes were filling with tears. He didn't even remember that he was with _her_ on Friday? She wanted to shout and rage at him. Didn't he know he was supposed to remember everything? Didn't he know they were supposed to be a couple now or at least by the time the gala came around? She knew he had a little to drink on Friday, but how drunk could he have been to not remember who he slept with? Didn't it mean anything to him?

"Catch you later babe," Matt said. He hadn't heard her say anything else and wanted to put his full attention on the game. He clicked off the phone and got back into thoroughly demolishing Brandon's guy again, completely forgetting about the conversation he'd just held.

Melissa heard the dial tone in her ear. She couldn't seem to close the phone and put it down. She looked in the mirror and saw that the newly applied mascara was running down her face.

She had been a fool. She should have never slept with him. Why had she ever liked him in the first place?

She turned and ran with a sob to her bed. She threw herself down and cried her eyes out, managing to soak her pillow completely with her tears and makeup.

* * *

The limo arrived at five o'clock on the dot.

Blair left her building dressed to the nines in a lavender satin sheath by Badgley Mischka. Sleeveless with a wide neck, it draped toward the waist where it was adored with a small rosette before the material traveled in full lines down to just above her knees. It was classic and chic and her bare arms made the startling contrast with her new diamond bracelet stand out even more.

Her hair was down and wavy. Her eye lids glowed with shades of purple. Her ears had a pair of simple dangling diamond spikes. Her feet were adorned in pale silvery white pumps from Gianvito Rossi. She carried a small square leather clutch purse by Versace that was the same silvery white.

She also had a skinny white shopping bag adorned with silver designs of hearts and whatnot. Inside was the present she'd finally decided on for Chuck. She knew he'd enjoy it. And fortunately it would be an appropriate present for a _friend_ too.

She got into the car expecting Chuck to already be there waiting for her. She was surprised when he wasn't.

The limo started rolling away from the curb as soon as the door was closed.

She pressed the button for the window to the driver to roll down, "Where are we going?" she asked, curious.

"Ah, that's a surprise miss," the driver responded.

"Thank you," she responded before rolling the divider back up and sitting back in her seat with a sigh. She was extremely curious about tonight's events.

Her phone started ringing. She retrieved it from her purse but made a mental note to put it on vibrate again. She didn't want any interruptions over dinner—especially when she finally told him what her decision was.

"Elise!" Blair said, happy to hear from the girl and wondering what news she had for her.

"I do not understand why any of them put up with Hazel! She's so horrible!" Elise exclaimed.

"What happened?" Blair said, slightly pleased but also perturbed. "What did she say to you?" She had developed this protective instinct toward the girl. She really was the sweetest. Blair had been surprised at how much fun she had spending time with her.

"Oh, nothing that isn't the usual 'you've served your purpose, now leave' attitude she always gives me," Elise explained. "But I was standing right there and she totally made fun of Melissa."

"Really…" Blair said, laughing to herself. She knew Hazel was a bitch; and Melissa too. She wondered how long it would be before they started turning on each other.

"Yeah," Elise said. "I don't know what they were talking about really, but there was some quiz about being more than friends and Hazel made Melissa answer them: questions about the guy playing games with her and using her or something. It was all sort of confusing since I didn't know where they were coming from or who the guy was, but it sure did upset Melissa."

Blair could hazard a guess. It had to be Matt. Blair smirked to herself. She knew the kind of guy Matt was. He wasn't one of Chuck's friends for nothing.

"Interesting…" Blair said. "And the other?" she asked, referring to the plan.

"Mission accomplished!" Elise said with a smile and squeal.

"I knew I could count on you," Blair said. "Thanks so much for all your help E!"

"So I'll come over after school tomorrow and we can put together the finishing touches? I really can not _wait_ to get them back, Blair," Elise said excitedly.

"Done and done," Blair said with a sly grin even though Elise couldn't see it. "See you then."

As Blair shut her phone and remembered to set it to vibrate, she couldn't help but laugh. Almost everything was falling into place and Elise was completely on her side.

Now if only she could get through tonight without losing another friend, she really could breathe easier. She knew Chuck might see straight through her and realize that she was, once again, choosing Nate over him…but she couldn't help it. How could she give up the love of her life for a few weeks—months, tops—with Chuck? Her and Chuck weren't meant to be.

Nate would see reason and he would come back to her, just like everyone at school was starting to see reason. She hadn't waited for Nate last time and look what happened. She needed to wait for him this time if she had any hope for a future with him.

It was hard letting go of her dreams…which was why she never did it.

* * *

"Is Chuck Bass in?" Nate asked Dexter.

Nate had hit the showers after practice and gotten ready to leave so slowly that he brought up the rear—and coach was hollering at him to get a move on it.

He was dreading what was coming. He had promised Jenny he'd talk to Chuck and that's what he was going to do—anything to get it over with as soon as possible.

"No sir," Dexter responded.

"I'll just wait," Nate said before starting to turn to sit in one of the comfortable leather chairs that he had once waited in for Serena all those months ago.

"Mr. Archibald, I feel I should inform you that Mr. Bass has indicated that he would be out all evening," Dexter explained.

Chuck had really only told Dexter because Bart Bass always kept tabs on his son through hotel employees. If Bart asked, someone had better know the whereabouts of his son or when he'd be returning. Chuck hadn't given a place for his evening activities but he _had_ said he'd be back late. Dexter knew that Mr. Archibald was friends with the boy so he had no qualms about giving him the information intended for Bart. Plus, he'd have to look at him the rest of the evening if Mr. Archibald waited.

Nate turned back and sighed. "Do you know when he'll be in?"

"No sir," Dexter answered.

"Do you know where he is?" Nate asked, frustrated.

"No sir," Dexter responded again.

Nate shook his head. "I'll just come back another time."

He started to walk away but turned back quickly, "And Dexter?"

"Yes sir?" Dexter asked.

"You don't have to mention that I stopped by," Nate explained. "In fact, I insist that you don't."

"Sir?" Dexter asked confused.

"I wanted to surprise him Dexter," Nate said, trying to give a smile but it turned out more like a grimace. "You understand, correct?"

"Uh, yes," Dexter nodded even though he still didn't understand. "Very good, sir."

Nate nodded before leaving the building finally.

He walked out front and tried to figure out what to do next. It was Tuesday afternoon around five. Where could Chuck be? Nate had absolutely no idea. He checked Gossip Girl and winced when he read the latest speculation about him and Jenny. When would everyone get a clue? He wasn't interested in Jenny! These posts just kept making things worse between the two of them.

He read the rest of the post and found his grimace was making a re-appearance. So Blair was telling everyone that she had really been secretly dating Chuck when they were broken up. His hand clamped around his phone. Chuck didn't _date_ anyone. Why the hell did he have to pick Nate's girl to be the first? How long had Chuck had an eye on Blair?

Did Chuck _still_ have an eye on Blair? After Friday night he knew the answer was probably yes….but what about Blair? She had been angry Friday night, but she _did_ seem to be into it before putting a stop to Chuck's advances…

He froze as he realized something… he should have seen it earlier.

Nate hadn't mentioned a word to Chuck about Jenny telling him the truth about him and Blair. But he _had_ told Blair.

Blair was the only one Nate had told…which meant, if Chuck knew… the only person who could have possibly told Chuck _was_ Blair.

Were Blair and Chuck talking again? Were they getting together again? _No, no, no_! Nate's stomach turned over in disgust and horror and he tried to think.

He'd been furious this weekend when he thought Blair was thinking about Chuck. He'd been furious when there was a possibility of Blair coming to The Palace to meet up with Chuck. But there had been no absolute confirmation. Serena said that Blair hadn't come to The Palace to see her, but that wasn't really proof that Blair was going to see Chuck.

This was proof though. This was proof that Blair and Chuck had talked something out. And Nate couldn't deny this.

While he hadn't forgiven Blair and didn't know if he ever could, he still felt this extreme jealousy rushing through him. It was the same wave of pain and chills he'd felt a month ago when he'd learned the truth.

He needed closure. He needed to find out the full truth about _everything_ that had happened since he and Blair broke up the first time. He needed to find out the true extent of Blair and Chuck's "betrayal". And the only way that was going to happen was for him to finally talk to Blair. Serena had warned him to stay away, but he wasn't taking heed.

He traveled quickly to Blair's building and dashed for the elevator.

Upon his arrival only Dorota was there to greet him.

So Blair was out for the evening too… _did that mean…?_

Nate didn't want to think about what it meant, but he _was_ going to have a little talk with Chuck in the morning—about Jenny _and_ about Blair. Chuck needed to be warned away from Jenny and, after what Chuck tried to do to Blair last Friday, he had no business being around Blair either.

And, as soon as he could, he was having a chat with Blair as well. He was tired of second guessing and tearing himself up over sick fantasies and possibilities.

Sick and tired.

* * *

_To be continued…_


	16. Chapter 15

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about the new episodes due in April. Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews. 

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

**

* * *

**

Tuesday, February 12**th****. Around 5:30pm. 3**_ days until the Sweetheart Gala_

The limo finally came to a stop and the door opened almost immediately. 

Blair peered out and realized that Chuck had been waiting for her. He held out a hand and she accepted.

He was looking quite handsome in a white cotton twill suit jacket with a two-button front and peaked lapel matched with a pair of white cotton pants. His shirt was pink, of course, and made of fine stretched cotton in a striped pattern with a buttoned down spread collar. He was dressed completely by Pringle of Scotland.

After rising to her feet, she looked toward their obvious destination in surprise.

"A boat?" she asked incredulously.

"Nonsense," Chuck said feigning offense. "She's a yacht. Never belittle the vessel you're about to board."

"Right," Blair replied sarcastically. She wondered if that was one of the silly sailing things he'd learned from Nate. She hardly ever paid attention to the Captain's favorite pastime. It was Nate and his dad's thing, just like her and Harold had their traditions.

So, here she was in one of New York's many ports about to board a 'boat' for who knows what Chuck had planned.

Talk about a surprise.

Chuck connected eyes with her and started to lean forward to kiss her in greeting.

"Oh, I almost forgot," she said as she turned at the last second to reach into the car for the gift she'd gotten him.

She pushed it toward him. "For you," she explained.

He gave her an odd look, wondering why she was acting so weird, but took the bag from her. "What's this?"

"A snake, it might bite," she said sarcastically as she shut the door since he didn't seem to be making that effort. She started toward the 'boat' with dread. She really just wanted to get this over with, but knew she'd have to wait at least until after dinner.

"What's your rush, Waldorf," Chuck said as he came up next to her right side and slung his left arm around her shoulders. "The thing's not going to set sail."

He had rented a private yacht for a stationary—meaning unmoving—dinner. He figured any other public restaurant would be chancing a Gossip Girl spotting and he knew she'd just get ticked and be less likely to say yes if that happened. Thursday night, the actual Valentine's _day,_ would have been better for this; but he was bringing out the big guns early.

He dangled the bag she gave him from his fingertips. He was slightly curious about the contents. He couldn't remember the last time a girl had given him something that didn't involve lingerie and a bed. He'd open it later; right now he was more curious about Blair. There was nothing he could put his finger on, but something was definitely going on in that head of hers…she had lost some of the care-freeness of yesterday's movie night.

"So what's on the itinerary?" Blair asked, feeling slightly uncomfortable about his arm around her but she didn't want to just push it off. He'd know something was up and she wouldn't have time to better prepare her words. Blair Waldorf was always prepared and ready with fast words and witty phrases…but the important ones didn't seem to be coming tonight.

"Dinner and the pleasure of my company," Chuck said arrogantly with a smirk.

"Always such a joy," Blair said with an eye roll.

They finally got to the loading area and walked up the ramp. Chuck had to remove his arm so she could head up first. She breathed a sigh of relief than almost got choked on the sigh when she felt him take a hold of her hand. She paused and looked back at him, then down at their entwined hands.

He gave her a curious look before letting go. _What the hell was up with her?_

She continued up the walk. The shipmate who greeted them at the entryway escorted them to the glass paned dining room that was topside. The shipmate departed and Blair took in her surroundings.

The room faced the back of the yacht which pointed toward the water. It was past dusk, the light gradually fading, and with it you could make out the lights of other traveling boats as they glittered across the water. It would be beautiful when it got darker, not to mention that if the night was clear enough they might actually be able to see some stars.

The room itself was gorgeously laid out. It was obvious Chuck had given specific instructions to make the room as comfortable and elegant as possible. There was a square table situated near the center of the room with a gleaming white tablecloth, lighted candles that floated in clear little glass holders shaped like roses, everything was already laid out and there were even more pink roses on the table and situated throughout the room.

There was a couch near the far wall, facing the glass, that would serve to take in the view outside. There was a bar toward the back of the room with a stereo system currently playing some light 'romantic' instrumental tunes. There were sliding glass doors that led out onto the deck that would be perfect for catching some after dinner fresh air.

It was the perfect romantic evening.

Blair took this all in before turning to Chuck with a suspicious look.

"What did you do?" she accused.

"What?" Chuck asked, confused.

"You did something," Blair said. "And judging by the looks of this place and everything you keep giving me, it was something bad. So I'll repeat, what did you do?"

Chuck looked around himself. He knew it might seem like he was going overboard, but he hadn't expected her to call him on it. 

"Waldorf, chill," Chuck coasted around the truth. "Can't I just want to enjoy the pleasure of _your_ company," he said, going back to his previous description of the night's itinerary.

"And you had to do all _this_ to do _that_?" Blair asked incredulously. He must have done something. There was no way he was going to do all this when they had only been talking again for three days. Did he really want to be with her that badly? No, it couldn't be. He _must _have done something and now he was trying to soften her up before telling her.

"Yes, Blair," Chuck took a hold of her hand again and dragged it up to his lips, kissing the back of her hand gently before gazing up into her eyes. "I did this for you." He was telling the truth. He _had_ done all of this for her… because he wanted her and because he was trying to make up for something he never should have done in the first place—but she didn't need to know that yet.

_Damn him and his eyes,_ Blair thought as she started to get lost in them. He always had this way of staring at her intensely when he really meant what he was saying. She found herself accepting his explanation because she was getting a little breathless. 

She nodded and he kept a hold of her hand to escort her over to her seat. He placed his gift bag on the top of the bar to open later and went around to his seat, lounging back comfortably and signaling to the wait-staff to bring out the salad course.

She sat back and tried to relax too, but it was difficult. She knew what was coming…but somehow all the things he had done to make this evening special was making her feel even worse about her decision.

Dinner was going to be difficult.

* * *

Jenny arrived home in a somewhat relaxed air. She was still anxious about Chuck's threat though and wondered if Nate could really do something about it.

No one was home yet so she wondered into her room and took out all her secret admirer cards. She painstakingly re-read them as her mind kept drifting back to Nate. 

He really was gorgeous, and _so_ sweet. He hadn't spoken to her much lately but she knew he didn't want any more gossip following him around just yet so she understood his reluctance to be seen talking to her.

She had taken a chance by talking to him today, but it had to be done… maybe she should have done it over the phone but she knew that he had practice and couldn't help herself from going to talk to him in person.

She put the cards to the side and laid back. 

She wondered when she'd get another one. The last one had arrived Sunday morning and it was now Tuesday. It was two days before Valentine's Day… maybe he was waiting until Thursday to send her another one? She thought he would wait until he spelled his name out completely in those little circles on the cards before saying anything to her though.

She grabbed the last one and once more tried to read through the milk stains. The more she looked at that letter the more it either became scribble or an "A"… or maybe an… "R"? But it _had_ to be a "C"… didn't it? She remembered that she'd had a thought that he might be spelling out a place he wanted to meet her instead, but she couldn't think of any place that began with those letters.

She slumped back on her bed and put it out of her mind. He would send another one and then she'd be able to better figure out what he was trying to tell her.

She decided to check Gossip Girl since she hadn't looked at it at all after school.

_Great_, she thought sarcastically, _just great!_ How much had her little visit with him at practice set his progress back? Would he wait even longer now to finally approach her and "reveal" himself? 

She loved that Gossip Girl mentioned something about "love" being "in the air". If Nate's last signature was any indication, it definitely was! She hoped so badly that he got over this fast enough to invite her to the Sweetheart Gala. She hadn't even thought about finding someone else to go with because her mind was completely on Nate. 

But she knew the invitation was less likely now that she'd been spotted going to Nate with her little problem.

_Damn you, Chuck Bass! _she cursed in her head. He always had to ruin everything. She was glad she hadn't seen him at all today. Hopefully she wouldn't have to dodge his every move after Nate spoke to him. Something told her she may have made a mistake in getting Nate involved, but how could it have been a mistake? Chuck and Nate _had_ been friends—though she couldn't figure out why. Nate didn't want to have anything to do with Chuck now though. If Nate approached _Chuck _after not speaking to him for so long, then really _Chuck_ should be happy no matter what the reason. She shook her head. No, he wouldn't be happy about this. She didn't know how Nate would broach the subject with Chuck but it probably wouldn't be pretty.

She started to wonder if Nate had spoken to Chuck yet. Then she couldn't help herself from sending a text to Nate. It was around five-thirty now, practice had been long over. Maybe he knew something and could help calm her nerves that were still a little unhinged over the situation.

**ne word?**

**he wasn't home. will talk 2 him 2morrow AM**

**thanx**

**no problem. later.**

Somehow the fact that Nate hadn't talked to Chuck yet made her stomach start to twirl anxiously. But really, that was stupid. It wasn't like Chuck could do anything to her while she was safe in her home…_could_ he?

No, absolutely not. 

She decided to go out to the living room and see what was on TV. She would try anything to calm down and help her escape reality for a little while.

* * *

She was too nervous to eat much and he was noticing her lack of appetite.

She picked at her salad and the main course, though she had put away at least two glasses of the white wine that went perfectly with the chicken cordon bleu. 

Chuck was curious. Was she still feeling under the weather or something? She'd said that Serena was acting so concerned about her because of a sinus infection that she kept putting off going to the doctor for. He'd thought that was a little lame, but it made sense that she had too much on her mind recently to worry about going to see a doctor—and considering that the last time she probably even contemplated going to one was when she was having that pregnancy scare, he couldn't blame her really.

They still hadn't talked about that "taboo" subject and to be perfectly honest, he didn't want to. He was relieved she was fine, and that's all he needed to know. 

She'd been acting weird all evening though, and she wasn't saying much. 

He'd planned all this to convince her to take another chance on him but that wasn't going to happen if she didn't start enjoying herself.

He put down his fork and rang his little bell signaling dessert.

Blair looked up at the tinkling sound, startled.

"What's on your mind?" Chuck asked.

Blair shrugged and tried to figure out how to broach the inevitable subject.

"Clearly something's traipsing through that head of yours. Spill Waldorf," Chuck said.

"I…I don't think it would be a good idea to go to the gala together," Blair finally said.

Chuck's stomach tightened and his mind raced to dispute her words.

He had a moments reprieve as the server came out to clear the table to make way for the dessert. The man left and Chuck found the words.

"Thought things were going well," Chuck said slowly. "Thought I was doing everything you wanted." He hadn't worked this hard to please anyone ever.

Blair tried to find the words to make him understand. It didn't help that he had just said the very same thing to her that she had said to Nate the first time they broke up. 

"All this is great …and I'm glad we've cleared the air…but don't you think this is too much too fast?" She needed to focus on how to end this thing between them without bringing Nate into it. Making him see that things weren't going well was the first step 

"If I moved any slower, I'd be dead," Chuck replied glibly. He had put a stop to sex! What the hell did she mean…he was taking things too fast? She had said herself that she regretted ending things the way she had. When they made up, he'd been confused for half a second about the status of their relationship… or friendship. He didn't know where they would go from there. But _she_ was the one that kissed him. And _she_ was the one that put her arms around him. And _she_ was the one who tried to take things further yesterday. _Now_ she was changing her tune?

"What are you afraid of?" he asked softly. She was backing down for some reason.

"Chuck," Blair closed her eyes briefly before responding, "This is never going to work."

"Why not?" Chuck asked.

"It just won't," Blair said firmly.

Chuck started to rebuttal but was interrupted, once again, by the server coming out with a large metal dish and two bowls of vanilla ice cream.

He waited impatiently for the man to set the bowls down and take the lid off the dish. Chuck had ordered this dessert specifically for the fun of it but now he just wanted the man gone so he could get Blair to see reason.

Blair watched as the man grasped the giant lighter and flicked the switch on the handle before lowering the flame into the metal pan. Fire sparked up briefly as the flames ate away at the brandy sauce in the cherries jubilee.

The server put the lid back on to douse the flames before taking the ladle to put the cherries on top of the ice cream. He moved to Blair first and she started to shake her head. The display was cute but she couldn't possibly eat that.

"Just take it, Blair," Chuck commanded impatiently. He was getting tired of watching her pick at everything and he'd be damned if he'd sit through another course of her staring at the food like it was going to jump up and bite her.

He nodded to the man who obliged him by serving her before he served Chuck.

Chuck told the man, "That will be all." He didn't want any more interruptions. Finally the man was gone.

"At least have the damn dessert, you've hardly touched anything else," Chuck growled at her when it became obvious she wasn't even going to try it.

Blair sighed and picked up her spoon. She knew she was going to have to eat some of the dessert. It looked delicious but she knew it definitely wouldn't be good for her. She took a bite. It tasted delicious too.

She glanced up at him after taking the bite, "Satisfied?"

He glowered at her before starting in on his own.

They ate in silence for a moment more before he finally continued their conversation.

"Why wouldn't it work?" he asked again.

"Chuck, please," Blair said, getting more distressed by the minute because she didn't know what to say.

"Look, you said before that it wouldn't work because I didn't care," Chuck remembered her words the night of the ball clearly. "But I do, and I'm trying Waldorf. Why won't you give this another chance?"

Blair didn't say anything. She looked down and took another bite, chewing slowly, anything to give her an excuse to _not_ say anything.

"Look at me," Chuck commanded.

She didn't. She just took another bite and another one.

"Damn it, Blair," he snapped and slammed his spoon down on the table. "Look at me!"

She finally looked at him.

"This would never last, so what's the point?" Blair whispered.

Chuck sat back in his seat, floored. His stomach was flopping. So that's what she was afraid of. She was comparing him to Nate and finding him lacking. Ever since she and Nate became "BlairandNate" she'd always dreamed of fairy tale endings and perfect weddings and all the other girly things that made Chuck want to yak. He remembered how bored he'd been every time he'd had to listen to her prattle on about it.

"Nothing wrong with living in the _now_," he finally said. He wasn't into promising "forever" or other such nonsense; and he wasn't going to. He didn't know where any of this was going, he just knew he enjoyed being with Blair and didn't want to let her go again…of course he'd never really let her go in the first place, she had let him.

She looked back down and started eating the damn dessert again.

_A fine time for her to show some interest in dinner_, he thought to himself. Of course he was the one who told her to stop picking at it. But he knew she was only doing it now to avoid their conversation.

"Your signals are getting a little mixed," Chuck said.

She sighed. She knew that she had to be confusing him. She was confusing herself. But she had made her decision and she had to stick by it… didn't she?

"What do you _want_?" Chuck finally asked. He'd done everything he could think of to change her mind. He'd given her gifts. He'd been attentive. He'd been spontaneous. What the hell else was he supposed to do? Granted, he'd done most of it to make up for publicly humiliating her…but he'd still done it. 

She slammed her spoon down and stood up, "I don't know!"

He just looked at her, waiting for her to say something, _anything_, else.

She grabbed her small purse off the table and started to walk away.

He stood up too, "Where are you going?" He was _not_ about to let her leave until he'd tried to convince her at least one more time.

"The ladies room," she snapped over her shoulder as she stalked away.

He sat back down in a huff. He started drumming his hand impatiently on the table before getting up and wondering behind the bar. 

He picked up the thin black case he'd hid back there, just waiting for the perfect opportunity to shower her with another gift. This was why he hadn't opened _his_ present yet. He figured on waiting until right before he gave her this to open his.

He opened the case and looked down at the perfect silver clasp that had a pink diamond entwined along the centerpiece.

He couldn't give it to her now, even if he did change her mind. She was too suspicious. She would go back to thinking that he had some ulterior motive. He should've told her the truth on Sunday. He propped an elbow on the edge of the bar and rested his forehead on his fist. Things were not going as planned tonight. 

And as much as he knew he should have told her already, he couldn't possibly tell her tonight. It was going to be hard enough trying to hold on to her…she didn't need another reason to hate him.

* * *

Blair had to ask the shipmate where the restroom was. She was not about to turn back around to ask Chuck.

She made her way inside and slammed the door, locking it quickly.

She walked to the mirror and tried to calm down as she flounced her hair distractedly.

_What do you want?_

Chuck had asked her that question and suddenly she didn't know.

Everything had seemed so clear two hours ago.

She was going to end things with Chuck and try to convince him to be just friends. She was going to keep holding on to the hope of making up with Nate. She was going to wait for Nate and eventually work things out.

But now everything was growing fuzzy. 

_Nothing wrong with living in the _now

What was the point in being with someone if you didn't have the hope of eventually ending up with that person forever?

Her mind was going crazy with everything he had said and everything she had told herself earlier. And the entire evening had made everything worse because Nate had never once done anything like this for her. Chuck clearly wanted to spend time with her. He was clearly showing that he appreciated her. Chuck had never ignored her or pushed her away until she did it to him after the ball. But now he was back to treating her the way he had when everything was fun, fresh, and exciting between them. 

And therein lay her confusion. Did she want to take another chance with him? Did she want to chance losing their friendship again? Would she be losing it anyway by calling a halt to everything? Did she _really_ want to end things with Chuck? But, what about Nate? Could she really give up on that dream? 

_What do you want?_ The question repeated in her head again.

She didn't know what she wanted!

The stress was getting to her.

And so was the cherries jubilee.

She was glad she had decided at the last minute to bring her traveling toothbrush with her. It fit perfectly into her small purse. And it worked two-fold. She could use one end to get rid of the stuff playing havoc with her stomach, and use the other end—along with the tiny travel toothpaste she'd brought—to freshen up afterwards.

She took extra care that her dress wouldn't crease as she settled onto her knees. As she prepped for her long-suffering pastime, images of Serena looking disappointed at her raced through her mind. She knew she shouldn't do it…but she couldn't help it. She was spiraling out of control.

_I'm sorry, S_.

* * *

After Dan and Serena had their afternoon tryst at the new café he'd found—which Serena fell completely in love with—he went with her back to The Palace before returning home. It was definitely backtracking considering that the café was _in_ Brooklyn already. He didn't care though, anything to spend more time with her.

But now he was home, and he'd just arrived to find his sister lounging on the couch watching Friends reruns. He hadn't seen her do that in a long time, not since she became uuber popular anyway. She used to watch reruns because she didn't have anyone to hang with and her homework was long since done.

And knowing that the last time he checked she was still at the top of Constance Billiards girly-food-chain, something was definitely wrong. She was upset about something and instead of talking it over with her hoity-toity friends she was bottling it up and escaping by watching TV.

As much as he kept telling himself that he really didn't know his sister anymore, some things just never change.

He approached the back of the couch tentatively. Serena had told him that maybe he should ask Jenny what was bothering her and he had agreed.

"Jenny?" he asked softly.

There was silence as Jenny finished watching a scene where Chandler just realized he was in big trouble. When the show cut to a commercial Jenny finally spoke.

"What do you want?" she snapped.

"How…how are you?" Dan finally managed to ask.

"Fantastic. Stupendous. Can't complain," Jenny said sarcastically. "Oh, and thanks for asking. In fact, thanks for acknowledging that I exist, _big brother_." Jenny hadn't had any type of conversation with Dan in weeks. They'd only sniped back and forth occasionally when they'd _had_ to speak. 

Dan sighed and walked around the back of the couch to sit on the arm of the chair. Jenny's feet were stretched out across the seat and she wasn't about to move them for him.

"Something's up," Dan said quietly. "I know you. You're worried about something."

"So?" Jenny said with a huff. She crossed her arms across her chest and continued to stare at the screen. She could care less about commercials for Viagra, but she was _not_ going to look at her brother…even if it meant seeing a bunch of old men who clearly should _not_ be having sex running around and acting all athletic like they could go for miles. Oh gross, did she really just think that?

She snapped her head to glare at her brother. He was better to look at, but now she was mad that she'd been graced with disgusting thoughts.

"So… I know that we've, um, been less than friendly lately," Dan tried to find the words. "And I am still mad, but… I'm still your brother, and I still care about you. So if you have a problem or need help or something… just know that I'm here." Dan coughed when he finished. This had been hard to say, but he'd done it. At least now he wouldn't feel so horrible. Ignoring her obvious problem was making him feel guilty.

"Oh that's just rich," Jenny said sarcastically. "You're my brother and you want to help me but you don't trust me enough to believe me when I tell you the truth! Because I've told you the truth Dan, I didn't lie!"

Dan shifted uncomfortably before finally standing up. "Jen, I do love you even if I don't believe you. I'll be in my room if you need me." With that, he turned and left.

"I don't need you! I'll be just fine on my own!" Jenny taunted to his back.

And she didn't need him. She had Nate. Nate would make Chuck leave her alone. Nate loved her. Nate would protect her. He was her prince charming, her secret admirer. She didn't need her big brother to come to her rescue anymore.

* * *

Chuck had flipped through some channels on the giant stereo system before deciding to check Gossip Girl since he hadn't looked since school let out. He had been too busy getting everything together for his evening with Blair to stop and check the latest gossip.

**Spotted: Seems Little J may have a new afternoon pastime. Putting in a little time checking out track and field tryouts, hmm? Looking for a potential hottie... or do you already have one in mind? Looks like J doesn't mind the rumors surrounding N… if their little discussion over the fence was any indication. With Valentine's drawing near, and everyone lining up dates for the Sweetheart Gala, is love in the air for these two? And it seems that B is spreading the latest buzzzz. Sources say B herself has confirmed the rumors about her and C being extra **_**friendly**_** during N&B's breakup. No word yet on N's little "oopsie" though. Did he or didn't he? Will we ever know? You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl.**

Well, well, well, he'd been correct when he'd seen Nate and Jenny talking at that party two weeks ago. Jenny was definitely showing interest in Archibald. Maybe this was good news for Chuck. If Nate moved on, it would further clear the air for _him_ with Blair.

But something told him that's not the way Blair saw it.

When he'd seen Nate and Jenny talking before, he'd already been pissed off enough at Jenny that he'd sent a "suggestive" message to Gossip Girl in hopes that Blair would read it and get jealous enough to do something to Jenny.

She must have read _this_ already and was probably having the same reaction he had wanted her to have all those weeks ago. Is that why she was acting so weird tonight? It galled him to think that she might be spending the entire evening thinking about how much she wanted to be with Nate instead of thinking about him and his surprise for her.

He looked up from the message when he saw her come back into the room.

She didn't say anything to him, just walked straight for the bar and popped the cork on the champagne that he'd ordered to go with dessert. As he watched, she poured a glass and downed it quickly, wincing slightly, before pouring another glass to sip.

She was trying to get used to the taste of the champagne. The mixture of tastes between toothpaste and the alcohol was horrible, but it went away quickly.

She looked over at him and saw that he was still holding his cell phone. She knew from the knowing look on his face that he was connecting dots about her behavior. She looked for a change in subject. She wasn't nearly as stressed anymore although she was still quiet, but it was more of a relaxed contemplative quiet.

"So we were dating?" Chuck asked. He didn't know what the hell they were back then. He found it amusing that she would actually call it "dating" though. It's not exactly what he would call it.

She shrugged, "It seemed better to say than the truth."

Chuck smirked, "Which was?"

She glowered at him. She wasn't going to answer that. She hadn't known what the hell they were either. 

"The radio?" Blair said with raised eyebrows, looking with contempt at the stereo system as she changed the subject.

"The place doesn't have any other disc options," Chuck explained with a roll of his eyes, amused that she was avoiding his questions. After their previous discussion, he'd found himself getting sick of listening to the cheesy romantic instrumental stuff he'd brought to set the tone of the evening. It hadn't worked in any case.

Of course he hadn't brought any other music options, so he was forced to flip channels…and being so close to the dock was making chances of picking up signals unlikely.

He went back to flipping the stations. He finally managed to catch Q104. He looked over at Blair as the guitar chords to "Simple Man" played through. 

She winced and shook her head. She was not in the mood for Serena's kind of music—she didn't want to think about Serena at all because it was making her feel guilty. She finished her second glass of champagne and started to pour the next as he fiddled with the buttons again. 

He was about to give in and just put the instrumental stuff back on when Z100 cut in with an introduction to a Mary J. Blige song.

"Gotta love Mary," Blair murmured after the introduction. Then the first bars of the song started.

_Ooooooh… ooooh_

Blair grabbed her glass off the counter.

_Hmmm… hmmm_

"Great, it's my theme song," she muttered before making her way toward the sliding glass doors.

_Aww… Awww…. Ooohh… Well…._

He watched her walk away, wondering what she meant by that.

_She's been down and out  
She's been wrote about  
She's been talked about constantly  
_

He watched her open the glass door and walk out on the deck. He flipped the switch that turned on the speakers on the deck before following her slowly.

This was the first time he'd heard anything from her about how her life had been since Gossip Girl's breaking news. He wasn't sure if he was ready to find out the full extent of the effect it had on her… which was why he hadn't broached the subject before.

_She's been up and down  
She's been pushed around  
But they held her down NYC  
_

She made her way to the railing and stared back at the city. She thought about how something so beautiful could turn into something so cruel so quickly.

_She has no regrets  
She accepts the past  
All these things they help to make she  
_

There wasn't anything she could do but accept what had happened to her or what she had done. She made her own choices and had to live with them…it didn't make things any easier though.

_She's been lost and found  
Then she's still around  
There's a reason for everything, yeah  
_  
And she had to believe that there _was_ a reason for all of this. She just didn't know what that reason was. Was it for Nate and her to reach absolute bottom so they could start completely over and rebuild a perfect life together? Throw out all the stuff that was bad the first two times around and make it right this time?

Or was all this to show her how silly she was for holding onto Nate? Was this the world's way of telling her that she needed to move on and that there was already someone waiting in the wings who wanted her?

_You know, I've been holding on  
Try to make me weak  
But I still stay strong  
Put my life all up in these songs  
Just so you can feel me  
So you can get the real me  
_  
Chuck sucked in a breath. She was so beautiful just standing there and staring out into the night, moving her hips gently to the music. It was cold outside, but she didn't seem to mind it for the moment. She seemed to be thinking really deeply and he wondered if she was still pondering his question: "What do you want?"

It wasn't like her to _not_ know what she wanted. But she'd come back to the dining area not nearly as tense as she was when she'd left. He'd been somewhat relieved, but also worried that maybe she had made a final decision and it wouldn't be in his favor. 

_So take me as I am  
Or have nothing at all  
Just take me as I am  
Or have nothing at all  
_  
She wasn't nearly as confused as she'd been earlier. Purging all her anxiety away had really helped. And this song was helping her too. She'd listened to this song so many times over the past few weeks. It somehow made her feel stronger and able to take on whatever the world dished out.

_Yeah she's older now  
Yeah she's wiser now  
Can't disguise her now, she don't need  
No one telling her what to do and say  
No one telling her who to be  
_

If she did decide to change her mind, once again, and give up on Nate and go public with Chuck…would she be back tracking her road to popularity again? It was all starting to build back up. Would it come crashing down like last time? What would people think if she was dating Chuck, the cause of her disgrace?

_She's on solid ground  
She's been lost and found  
Now she answers to G-O-D  
And she's confident this is not the end  
Ask me how I know cause she is me_

Screw that. She had been on top, she would be again, and _she_ made the rules. She would date whoever the hell she wanted to date and they would just have to accept it or face her displeasure. 

_You know I've been holding on  
Try to make me weak  
But I still stay strong  
_  
But that wasn't the real problem, only a facet of it. The real problem is whether she could give up on Nate. What did she really want!

She glanced back at Chuck who was staring at her intently once again. She knew he was waiting for her. Waiting for her to tell him what she wanted. 

And _those eyes_… she really did care about him. She really did want him. She didn't know if those feelings would ever compare to her feelings for Nate… but she couldn't let go of Chuck.

_Put my life all up in these songs  
Just so you can feel me  
So you can get the real me  
_

Who was the real Blair Waldorf? She wasn't just the sweet daddy's girl who wore the headbands and proper skirts. She wasn't just the honest and pure girlfriend who strived for perfection in a relationship that seemed more and more doomed as it went on. She was also the passionate lover who couldn't seem to get enough of Chuck Bass. She enjoyed scandals, enjoyed manipulating situations to her gain, enjoyed putting people in their place. She was all these things…and the only person who knew the real her _was_ Chuck. Even Nate didn't know her completely.

Chuck knew everything there was to know about her… well, mostly everything—she would never tell him about her secret "condition". And Nate… well, Nate had caught a glimmer of some of the things she was truly capable of when he found out the truth about her and Chuck… and he'd turned on her.

_So take me as I am  
As I am  
Or have nothing at all  
Nothing Baby  
This is me, this is me_

She gave Chuck a slow nod before turning to look back at the city lights.

Chuck didn't know what that meant, but he thought it would be a good idea to walk up to her. She was starting to shiver from the cold anyway.

He hesitated before wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. She didn't jerk away, instead she leaned back into him.

"Don't hurt me again," she whispered.

_  
So its all or nothing or all  
All Or nothing at all  
Don't you know I can only be me, yeah  
So its all or nothing at all  
All Or nothing at all  
Don't you know I can only be me,  
_

He breathed in deeply. Could it be possible that she wasn't ending things? Did she really want him? Is that what she was saying? He felt a little panicky at her words… _tell her, tell her_. He kept trying to find the words but instead he found the wrong ones:

"I won't," he agreed. And he wouldn't. From this moment forward he wasn't going to do anything to hurt her… his act of hurt had _already_ happened. So it wasn't like he was lying.

_So take me as I am  
Or have nothing at all  
Just take me as I am  
This is me, this is me  
Or have nothing at all  
_

"Promise me," she commanded. She knew that eliciting a promise from him meant that she was actually trusting him again…something she had _promised_ herself and Serena that she wouldn't do. But she couldn't help it.

"I promise," Chuck murmured into her hair. He knew he shouldn't have said it. He knew this was all wrong. This was all going to blow up in his face, he could feel it deep in his bones… but then she spoke again and with her words, everything just fell into place.

"I'll go to the gala with you," Blair whispered.

His stomach started that annoying fluttering again and all he could think was that Blair finally wanted him. She had chosen him. They were going to be together finally.

He would figure out a way to work through the rest. He had to.

_

* * *

_

To be continued…

**Song**

"Take Me As I Am" by Mary J. Blige


	17. Chapter 16

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about the new episodes due in April. Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

* * *

**Tuesday, February 12th. 8:30pm. 3**_ days until the Sweetheart Gala_

"Dance with me…" Chuck murmured as the radio started to play another slow jam. It seemed the most appropriate thing to ask right now, and he had planned to do that after dinner anyway.

She turned around in his arms and nodded. She couldn't believe she had changed her mind. She had actually let go of one of her dreams… and it was okay for now. She knew she'd mourn later. She knew that when Nate found out, she probably wouldn't be able to look at him… but she had to let go. She had to be with the one who wanted her _now_, who was here for her _now_, who wouldn't let her go.

He took a hold of the hand that wasn't holding the champagne glass and led her back inside where it wasn't nearly as cold.

She let go to set the glass on the end table near the sofa while he closed the glass doors.

Then he walked up to her, looking at her with that intent gaze that gave her shivers. It still amazed her that after knowing him for so long without any feelings other than friends, they were now more than that.

And then they were having the dance they'd never had the opportunity to have back in December, their hands clasped as they moved to the music. He kept looking into her eyes and she couldn't tear her gaze away if she tried.

He gave her a little twirl and dip and she laughed. He smiled at her and continued the dance, leading her through the steps. They used some of the other moves they had been forced to learn for cotillion too.

It brought back memories of practice and how he kept watching her, practically giving everything away if anyone had noticed. He knew he wasn't supposed to be following her every move back then, but he couldn't help it. And when she had passed him while they were practicing, she always gave a little secret smile too. He knew she was happy with him and enjoying her time with him, and he was crazy about her.

Now, she couldn't hold back from walking into him and resting her head on his shoulder. A completely un-cotillion-like dancing move, but it didn't matter. He wrapped his arms around her and held her, just moving with her.

He had done it. He'd convinced her to go with him. Even after all the sniping back and forth, all the fights, all the angry looks… they'd gotten past it all. Somehow this made up for everything.

The song ended and the radio started playing commercials. He groaned and she laughed. He went over to the stereo and switched to the CD player again while she wondered over with her champagne glass to get a refill.

"Going to open that?" she asked, referring to the gift bag she had given him.

He gave her a patronizing look before he brought the bag over to his side and opened it wider, moving the tissue paper to the side. He laughed and took out the bottle of Bunnahabhaim. It read 1971 vintage—aged 35 years, a limited edition.

"125th anniversary label, made especially for the occasion," she explained. She knew how much he liked his scotch, so much that he sometimes drank the barely new crap imported from Scotland. This was the best of the Highlands, from the Islay Island region, with a rich and complex gingery spiciness leading to heather honey, dried fruit and some chocolate with a touch of smokiness. It was definitely a choice to savor—considering it had cost nearly a grand—but she figured he'd enjoy it.

"Well, I'd say _this_ qualifies as another special occasion," he said with a smirk before opening it and indulging in a finger of the stuff. It went down smooth. She'd made the perfect choice.

She finished pouring her champagne and wondered over to the sofa, settling down to admire the view. He went over to join her. He lounged to the right of the couch. She sipped her glass before setting it on the end table again and leaning into him. He put his own snifter on his end and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer.

He trailed his fingers up her arm, slightly cursing himself for not being able to initiate anything further than this.

Then his mind wondered back to the thought he'd had when her "theme" song had started.

"Your theme song, hmm?" he asked, mildly amused but curious at the same time. He knew he didn't really want to know more about what she'd gone through, but he had to ask.

She sighed. "You have to admit, it fits." She didn't really want to talk about how her life had been since everything fell apart, but knew she was just asking for it by dubbing the song.

And she also knew that since they were….whatever they were now… she should probably talk about this stuff. It _was_ what 'couples' did… and he understood her more than Nate or even Serena ever had. Maybe it would be better to talk to him about this. And hadn't she said once to Serena, _"May I remind you that this is your first real boyfriend, S, and in relationships you talk about stuff."_?

So…

He nodded, not saying anything else, waiting for her to continue.

"Someone actually talked to me today," she said dryly.

"Wow," he said sarcastically. He knew she was being shunned by her group of friends, but had everyone treated her the same way, and for this long? He'd avoided any information about her and never paid any attention.

"Imagine my surprise," she murmured. "Curiosity is getting the better of everyone. They all want to know my side of things."

"Somehow I think that was your intent," Chuck said. He knew that the only way Gossip Girl would have gotten the new information would be for her to spill. He had to give her props for planting the seed that would start the ball rolling for her again.

She smirked. "You know me well."

"That I do," Chuck smirked right back at her.

"I was tired of it all," Blair explained. "Tired of the looks, tired of everyone thinking they knew everything. Why is it that you can do whatever you want and get a pat on the back for a job well done, but I get labeled a slut?" She knew she was being a hypocrite by saying that. She never once hesitated to cut someone down for sleeping around. Of course, she _did_ put Chuck down for it too, but that's not the way the other guys reacted.

He just shrugged. It was a silly question. She was the one that helped fuel the girls' opinion on that matter, which is why he knew that sending that message the way he had would give her that label. She had put down plenty of other girls for a lesser offense.

And from the way she'd gotten so upset on Sunday, he also knew that she believed it.

"I'm sorry," he apologized for his actions, knowing that she wouldn't understand what he was really apologizing for.

She shrugged. He didn't really need to apologize for the way everyone was acting. It was Jenny's fault anyway.

"At least I decided to stay," she said off-handedly, scooting to the other end of the couch to take another sip of her drink. He shifted his legs up on the couch. She sat her glass down and scooted back over, lying against him on her back.

Then he realized what she said. "Stay?" What did she mean?

"Serena stopped me. I was going to spend the semester with my dad," she murmured. If she was going to attempt to open up to Chuck, that was probably as good a place as any to start.

He winced. She was going to leave the country? Had he really hurt her that much? It wasn't like her to runaway… but what had she said? "_You ruined my relationship with Nate, Serena, all my friends._"

And then he shut her down too. She'd had no one. He knew what that felt like. He had felt the same way that night. He wanted her to feel the same way he felt, but he didn't know what it would do to her. He'd gotten drunk and woken up with the worst hangover ever.

If she had left…he probably wouldn't have cared then, but he did now.

He didn't know what else to say, and he felt bad… so he just shrugged off her attempt to reveal more by being sarcastic, like she wanted pity and he wasn't going to give it to her.

"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw," Chuck managed to say sarcastically, quoting a line from his favorite Heather in yesterday's movie.

Blair rolled her eyes, "Can the sob story pity act. You know you've always wanted to use that line." She should've known he wouldn't feel bad about her almost leaving, never mind that he was part of the reason why. Why was she even telling him all this anyway? _Oh right_, she had agreed to be with him. Why was he closing her off? Well, if he didn't want to talk about things right now, that was fine with her. But somehow she thought things were going be a little different.

She snuggled closer and didn't say anything else, just stared out the window. It really was a nice night.

"So… Friday…" he said, bringing up the subject of the gala.

"Gossip Girl's going to have a field day," she said.

"Wouldn't have it any other way," he murmured.

* * *

**Wednesday, February 13th. 6:00am. 2**_ days until the Sweetheart Gala_

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Chuck groaned and rolled over to turn off his offending alarm clock.

He was not a morning person—never had been and never would be—but he was actually feeling good this morning, which probably should have been his first sign that something wasn't right about this day.

Last night had ended well, if not the way he would have preferred it.

After couch time, Blair wanted a tour of the 'boat' so Chuck had obliged—even though he hadn't explored before now either. Of course, they managed to stumble upon a bedroom…and he had to struggle like crazy to resist temptation, which was exactly why he hadn't brought any protection with him because he did _not_ want an excuse _to_ give in.

They still glossed over the subject of her possible pregnancy a month ago, but Blair did mention something to him about getting "it" this weekend—referring to his reason for stopping on Monday. He was all for that… assuming she was actually in "the mood" after he told her the truth—which he was definitely going to do on Saturday. Yes, Saturday…he already had some ideas brewing for Valentine's Day and the Sweetheart Gala to make sure Saturday went as well as it possibly could.

After an entirely too brief make-out session, Blair had grabbed the comforter off the bed and told him to follow her. He followed and they ended up on the deck, again, trying not to freeze their asses off. They had talked some… enjoying their usual witty banter and trying not to discuss anything serious. He was glad she didn't do the Titanic thing: "I'm the Queen of the World!" though she did seem to be contemplating it for a moment.

And the night had to come to an end eventually. So a few snifters later, and champagne glasses for her, they made their way to the limo and he took her home.

After a very heated goodnight kiss, she was gone.

And now it was time to wake up and face another day, but with a better outlook than he'd had in a while.

He rolled out of bed and hit the shower, going through his normal morning process of getting ready for school.

He was almost finished, just needed to button his dress shirt, when a knock sounded at his door.

Thinking room service was bringing breakfast early, he made his way over and opened it.

It wasn't room service.

"Nathaniel… to what do I owe the pleasure?" Chuck said more than a little surprised as his _ex-_best friend walked in through the open doorway without being invited.

Chuck let the door close and turned to look expectantly at Nate who seemed to be very tense.

"Don't call me that," Nate snapped.

Chuck raised an eyebrow, not sure what Nate was talking about. Then he realized that Nate was taking exception to being called Nathaniel. Obviously Nate wasn't here in an attempt to make up, which Chuck had seriously doubted anyway.

"Fine, _Nate_, what can I do for you?" Chuck said sarcastically.

Nate glared at Chuck. He didn't want Chuck to call him by his full given name because he'd always thought of it as a sign of respect and affection. It didn't apply anymore.

"I should beat the shit out of you after what you tried with Blair," Nate said angrily. He wanted to get this over with and being in the same room with Chuck and feeling all the emotions of the past week was making him even more pissed off.

"Look, Nate, that was a misunderstand—," Chuck started to explain his actions with his arms outstretched but was interrupted when Nate suddenly slammed him up against the wall by his shoulders and put his hands up around his neck, again, glaring in his face.

"Ok, this is getting old," Chuck said impassively and slightly annoyed. Nate had made it perfectly clear he didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore, so why was he showing up at his door? And if he was that upset about the thing with Blair, why had it taken him until _Wednes_dayto confront him about it?

Nate just pressed harder before snapping harshly, "Keep your hands off of her! And while you're at it, keep them off of Jenny too!" He had told himself that he wasn't going to get physical with Chuck if he could help it, but when Chuck tried to explain away his actions like it was nothing, he _couldn't_ help it.

Chuck pushed Nate away as the dots finally connected on why Nate was here.

"So that's what this is about—Little Jenny Humphrey couldn't take the heat and cried wolf," Chuck said with an ironic smirk. Curious that Nate would come here for _Jenny_ but couldn't be bothered about _Blair_. It made Chuck feel a little more comfortable in this new vaguely-resembling-a-relationship-thing with Blair…although, why was Nate mentioning Blair at all then? Had something else changed since the PVD party that made Nate decide to boss Chuck around about Blair now? He was done with her for good, right?

"I swear to God, Chuck," Nate said with a warning in his voice, still up in Chuck's face even though his hands were no longer around Chuck's neck… not that he wasn't a second away from doing it again, or removing that smirk from Chuck's face with the fist he had just made while clenching and unclenching his hands.

"Alright, alright, I won't touch the little minx," Chuck acquiesced. He hadn't been planning on "putting" his "hands" on her anyway. There were more, and far better, ways to destroy someone. Payback was a real bitch sometimes. He knew Nate wouldn't realize that he'd just given him a loop-hole in his "demand." And he also knew that whatever his payback against Jenny, nobody, not even Jenny herself, would know that he was behind it.

He didn't know why he was bothering to give in… or curtail his actions for Nate … but part of him was actually happy to see the bloke. And another part of him knew that maybe Nate would see reason eventually if it appeared that Chuck still cared about Nate's wishes. Hell, he'd give just about anything to have his friendship with Nate back… anything except Blair, that is… well, he probably shouldn't think that because he in all honesty had no idea. It wasn't something he wanted to think about. He hadn't given Blair up easily to Nate before…but he also still had Nate as a friend then.

And this whole thing with Jenny, it pleased him immensely that his and Jenny's first encounter had made such a lasting impression on her. His little talk with her on Monday must have served it purpose. He hadn't anticipated her going to Nate though, and that worried him. Maybe he was losing his edge? He figured that he would just have to roll the Cabbage around in his Patch before shipping him off to the boondocks again.

"Would you just chill?" Chuck said in a patronizing, convincing voice. "Look, breakfast will be here any minute. Join me." He knew the invitation was a little weak in the face of Nate's recent aggression, but he would keep trying to fix this whenever possible.

"Screw you, Chuck," Nate growled at him. He hadn't come here for stupid pleasantries. He'd come here to threaten Chuck. Now that he'd done that, and Chuck had agreed to back off, Nate was ready to go.

He started toward the door.

"Nate, come on, you guys weren't even together," Chuck tried again.

Nate turned on him, "Like that makes a difference!" Chuck should have never put his hands on Blair. He should have known this wouldn't be okay. In fact, he had to know this wasn't okay because Chuck had never mentioned it to him in the first place.

Chuck didn't say anything else. He had tried. If Nate wouldn't forgive him, there wasn't anything else he could say… and since he _was_ with Blair again… well, there _really_ wasn't anything else to say.

They just looked at each other a moment longer, Nate still glaring and Chuck just shaking his head. Nate finally turned and left.

Well, the morning _had _started out on a good note…now, not so much.

* * *

"Thank you so much for helping us!" Hannah said as she settled into her seat across from Blair in the cafeteria.

Blair just nodded and waited for her to continue. She had settled in with her yogurt and grapes and waited to see if the girls would really join her. Of course the popular girls were on the Met steps so they wouldn't know just yet—it wasn't too cold yet for them to stay inside. They would milk their outdoor privileges for all it was worth until the biting cold drove them in. She should know.

But she also knew that the girls _would_ find out about this little lunch meeting, even if they didn't know what the purpose was. She couldn't wait. Once the 'popular' girls started to act bitchier to the other girls, they would start to lower their own status.

"I made a list of everything so you can look it over: decorations, music, refreshments, placement of tables and chairs and everything," Hannah said as she passed her notebook over with the details.

Blair looked it over with a cursory glance as Hannah, Liz, and Natalie started to eat their lunch. They were a little nervous about the meeting and they were hoping that they could get through it unscathed.

Blair read the plans for the decorations and couldn't contain her amusement. She laughed, "Just because it's a valentine's dance does not mean you have to decorate in reds and pinks and hearts."

The girls nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"Half the girls going to the dance will show up in those colors. And they are not going to like blending in with the scenery," Blair explained.

The girls looked at each other, chagrined. Hannah was planning on wearing red, and Liz was planning on wearing pink.

"A white sparkling theme would go much better. White table cloths with silver confetti, hanging silver stars, even silver themed balloons—if you must have balloons," Blair said with a smirk. Balloons were great for cheesy birthday parties and could be fun, but they lacked a certain amount of elegance. "Maybe if the balloons were heart shaped. But be sure to get them ready tomorrow. You do not want to spend hours filling them on Friday."

Hannah took the book back from Blair and flipped the page, scribbling down every word. It did sound beautiful.

"And you should definitely have some pinks, though reds would just contrast. A light pink, maybe bundles of roses placed throughout the room. And…," Blair looked at the book again. "Candles on the tables? Well, they should definitely be floating and small. You don't want to start a fire."

"You are definitely going to have to start on this as soon as possible too. Have you begun to make any of _these_ arrangements yet," Blair said, pointing at the book. They should have already started so there would be one less thing to prepare. If they had already begun, she might have to think of a way to adjust her idea to work around theirs.

"Uh, no," Hannah said nervously.

"I see," Blair said with another smirk. Hazel was really messing this up. She was waiting until the last minute to put everything together. The dance would be halfway through before she finished with the decorations at this rate.

"We were going to do it after school Friday," Liz explained.

"And when, pray tell, were you going to get ready for the gala?" Blair asked.

The girls looked at each other and realized that Hazel had definitely made a bigger mess of things than they had originally thought.

"Get started on things after school _today_. Set up a table the way you want it to look to make sure it _does_ look well before you finish all the tables for the gala and realize it looks like crap," Blair instructed.

She looked down at the book again. And once again, she laughed.

"Girls, this is a school function, yes, but it is also a society function. Everything has to be handled as society would want. There will be chaperones there and what better time to show off all our good graces than to make this as such?" Blair said.

The girls nodded eagerly. That was what they wanted too. Why did Blair think that it wouldn't be like that?

"I guess it's too late to cancel the DJ and get a live band, but please make sure he doesn't play anything that one would find in a club or rave," Blair said.

"But he's the same DJ Matt had at the PVD party," Hannah said worriedly.

"Then maybe you should pay him off and find someone else," Blair said with a shake of her head. "I'm sure society wouldn't appreciate seeing its future generation bumping and grinding on the dance floor."

Hannah sighed. This was going to be harder than she thought.

"Okay," Hannah said wearily. Her shoulders drooped as she made more notes in the book.

"The refreshments seem to be fine. I'm assuming that's going to be catered and you've already booked the caterer and have called to confirm everything repeatedly so there are no mishaps?" Blair asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Um… I'm not sure," Hannah explained. "That's something Hazel is in charge of."

"Well, I guess you better find out and make sure everything's set up," Blair said with authority.

"The hotel's catering it, so I'm sure they know what's to be expected since the gala is being held there," Hannah explained, she did not want to be the one to ask Hazel.

"Still, I'd call The Palace just to confirm. You never know… and that is one headache you do _not_ want," Blair explained.

"I'll get right on that," Hannah said, nodding as she made another note. "Anything else?" she asked dejectedly. Blair had found fault in everything thus far and it was making Hannah even more worried about pulling this gala off in style.

"The table settings…," Blair began.

Hannah just sighed and began to write again.

"This is a gala—a dance, hence, people will _want _to dance," Blair said. "The tables will make the dance floor too narrow and people will be tripping over each other. Redirect most of them to the back of the room, and keep as few as possible down the sides. Make sure to change this when you call as well so that they know exactly how to set it up that night and you have one less thing to worry about after school… before going home to get ready."

Hannah scribbled away.

"That is all," Blair said. She popped a grape in her mouth and settled back in her chair smugly. She wondered if the girls would continue to sit and chat with her since there was maybe ten minutes left in their lunch break, of if they would scamper away.

"Thank you so much!" Hannah exclaimed. "You really are amazing at things like this."

Blair nodded. She knew she was, but she also knew acting humble would get her further than boasting right now.

"I don't suppose we could convince you to help us put this all together?" Liz asked.

Blair shook her head. She was not going to waste her time any more than this. It would be amusing to see the look on Hazel and the rest of the girls' faces when they found out about the changes, but she wasn't in the mood to be in the same vicinity as them. Plus, she had better things to do with her time after school today, tomorrow, and Friday. It grated a little that she wouldn't be able to take credit for putting this together, but it was enough that she was able to one-up Hazel.

"I think I've done my part already," Blair explained.

They accepted her response, though they were disappointed.

Hannah searched for a new subject to discuss and came up with one she knew everyone was curious about.

"So, are you going?" Hannah asked.

"Of course," Blair said, arching an eyebrow. She may be a social pariah right now, but she would never have backed down enough not to go.

"Good. I'm glad," Hannah smiled. "So… who are you going with?" She wondered if Blair might be going alone. Nobody would expect her to show up with someone anyway.

"Oh, I think I'll let that be a surprise," Blair said with a secretive smile. She was happy to go with Chuck but she wanted to wait until Friday so they could make their entrance together and shock the hell out of everyone—including Gossip Girl. GG didn't need to be tipped off earlier.

"Come on, tell us!" Liz exclaimed, excited for some news too.

Blair just shook her head and popped another grape, that secretive smile still etched across her face.

"Blair, there's something I've been wondering…" Hannah asked.

Blair looked at her expectantly.

"When did you go out with Chuck? I mean, I know you said you _did_ actually go out with him, but when? I mean, I hope it's okay if I ask," Hannah stumbled over her words. She wondered if Blair would give her a scathing reply and tell her it wasn't any of her business… but Blair seemed to be in a happy mood… and friendly at that.

"Before cotillion…around Thanksgiving," Blair explained. She didn't mind telling this. She just wasn't going to answer any questions about Nate cheating. Besides, it would give more backbone to the gossip about her and Chuck, which was actually _truth_.

"Wow, so you really weren't with Nate when…" Liz cut off when she realized she had broached a subject that might be touchy.

"No," Blair said sardonically, "I wasn't with Nate. I'm sure you remember the photo that was sent around the night of my party. Would you have been with Nate?" She knew everyone had seen him hugging some scanky blonde, but they were already broken up when that happened so she didn't think of this explanation as a way to fuel the cheating rumors.

"Nu uh," the girls said quickly as they shook their heads.

"Well, it's been lovely girls, but it's almost time for class," Blair said as she got her books together and picked up her empty yogurt container. "Good luck."

"Thanks," they said from their seats, scampering to put their own stuff together too. "Maybe we could… do it again sometime," Hannah inquired, knowing that she was on shaking enough ground as is… but she'd had a good time talking with Blair. She hoped she didn't feel the bite of Hazel's tongue too harshly for this.

"We'll see," Blair said before leaving with a small smile.

As she walked through the doors and headed to her locker, the small smile became a large one. Everything was starting to fall into place beautifully. After Friday, she would definitely be close to the top again…and then maybe life would start to get back to normal. She wouldn't have Nate at her side anymore, but Chuck and she were together now… and that should leave everyone ready to bow down and make way. If they feared her before, they would fear Chuck even more.

Today was going to be a good day, indeed.

* * *

Jenny was currently freezing her ass off.

And somehow it didn't matter.

She was sitting in the most coveted position with the most popular girls in school, eating lunch and having not a care in the world.

Nate had sent her a text that morning to confirm that he had finally spoken to Chuck and that Chuck would cease his threats.

Jenny couldn't be happier really.

That was until it was time to go back to class.

She walked across the street with her friends and they started up the stairs.

Something made her look toward the boy's entrance, and what she saw startled her so much she nearly lost her footing on the stairs.

Chuck Bass was leaning against the wall with a look on his face that was anything but nice. In fact, it was so creepy that the earlier relief she had felt vanished in an instant and the fear came back so fast that she let out an involuntary gasp.

She managed to recover and scamper up the steps, but not before she realized that whatever had happened with Nate and Chuck, he was not going to go away as quickly as she hoped. Maybe Nate had managed to get Chuck to back off, but he was still very angry... and the tension radiating off of him was making her very nervous.

This was far from over.

* * *

Whatever she was, Jenny Humphrey was definitely smart enough to know when she was in trouble... he'd give her that.

Chuck couldn't resist glaring at her. He was pissed, he really was. As bad as things were with Nate, this mess had only made it worse. But what else was new?

He highly doubted that she'd say anything to Nate about him giving her dirty looks. And even if she did say something, he could care less. He could glare at her all he wanted to. That was _not_ putting his hands on her, as Nate had so eloquently demanded he not do. Nate would probably say the same thing to her anyway.

Now all he needed was something to destroy her as thoroughly as he had destroyed Blair. He figured that would go a long way to getting Jenny back, and it might even help Blair regain some status…which would go a long way to repairing the small mess he had made as well.

Once the girls on the stairs were past him, he went back inside and had a few minutes left so decided to swing by the joint cafeteria.

The room was wood paneled with wooden tables and chairs. The wood gleamed. The hall was lighted with elegant ceiling lamps and was decorated with plants here and there.

The room was teeming with students and Chuck looked around for an entire minute before he found the person he was looking for.

He couldn't contain a smirk. Blair was sitting with a couple of girls and actually seemed to be enjoying herself.

Apparently people were talking to her today too. And, if he didn't miss his guess, those girls weren't bottom tier either.

Things were definitely looking up for Blair. He couldn't be more pleased... or relieved.

_

* * *

_

To be continued…


	18. Chapter 17

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about the new episodes due in April. Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

* * *

**Wednesday, February 13****th****. 2:45pm. 2**_ days until the Sweetheart Gala_

"Ladies," Matt said with a seductive grin as he came up behind Melissa and Hazel, throwing an arm around the two of them. He nodded to Kati, Is, and Jenny.

It was just after school and the girls were congregating at the bottom of the stairs in the courtyard. They were waiting for Hannah, Liz, Natalie, and a few other girls who had signed up for the committee. There was much to discuss for the upcoming gala and they were anxious to get started on it.

Hazel quickly shrugged Matt's arm off in disgust, but Melissa sort of froze. On the one hand she was heartbroken and upset about everything… but on the other… Matt was touching her! She was a heartbeat away from shrugging Matt off too when he tucked himself in closer to her and actually kissed her cheek before murmuring, "Good to see you."

The girls all rolled their eyes as Melissa—who had been in dire spirits all day—started to blush while soaking up the attention that Matt was giving her.

"And to what do we owe the… _pleasure_ of your attention?" Jenny smirked at him. The girls may quibble at each other in private, but in front of everyone else they had a united front. Matt had hurt one of their own.

Of course, their stance was slightly askew considering that Melissa seemed to be openly welcoming his advances.

"My attention was a wee bit distracted by all the lovelies standing over here," Matt explained. He still had his arm around Melissa.

Hazel snorted with disdain. The rest of the girls were alternately glaring at Matt or feigning disinterest.

Melissa was feeling extremely confused. Was Matt still interested in her? Had he started to remember everything after she mentioned it was, in fact, _her_ he was with? He did seem a little distracted on the phone. Maybe it wasn't too late to hope for them. She should have realized how intoxicated he was…well she knew he was a little out of it…she could understand if his memory was a little fuzzy.

"Eat your heart out, and get lost," Jenny said snottily.

"Jenny," Melissa said exasperated and with a look in her eyes that clearly said 'enough'.

"What?" Jenny said, a little shocked that Melissa seemed to be upset with _her_.

"Cold, little J," Matt said with a smirk. "Real cold." He still wasn't quite sure what to make of this girl, but he knew the rest of them—he had for most of his life. They knew better than to talk to him like that.

"So what are you girls up to?" Matt asked, looking around at the group but still keeping a hold of Melissa. It wasn't that he was all that interested, but he was in the mood to be flirty…though even as he asked the question, someone else caught his attention over Kati's shoulder.

It was Blair Waldorf. She was walking down the stairs with Serena.

Matt tried to pay attention to whatever prattle was coming out of Hazel's mouth about the Sweetheart Gala planning committee, but he was too busy remembering the feel of Blair's lithe figure against him at his party last week. She was looking exceptionally hot today in her school uniform. Her hair was wavy and loose, flowing down to her shoulders. As he watched, she laughed at something Serena said. She finished off her laugh with a slow smirk and a response. The look on her face was so hot.

"Matt?" Hazel asked, trying to get his attention when he didn't respond to her question.

"Yeah, what?" Matt said. Melissa looked up at him with a question on her face. She really wanted to know the answer to Hazel's question too.

"Are you going with anyone?" Hazel repeated. "You know… to the gala?"

Matt laughed. "Psh, nah. I'm sure there will be plenty of available girls there to make the night interesting. Gotta shop around."

Melissa was disappointed, until Matt looked down at her with a wink.

"See you there, right?" Matt asked.

Melissa managed to nod, wondering if that meant Matt wanted to spend time with her at the dance… like they were there together, but he just didn't want to make with the grand entrance and stuff. She couldn't contain the slight swell of hope she was feeling.

"Gotta go," Matt said as he slipped his arm away from Melissa and started toward the exit. "Later, girls."

"Oh, Matt!" Melissa tried to catch his attention before he was gone. He turned and looked at her expectantly. "Did you find it?"

"Find what?" Matt asked, clearly confused.

"The bracelet? Remember, I called?" Melissa asked.

Matt thought for a minute and shook his head. "Completely forgot babe. I'll check it and catch ya later." And then he was gone.

Melissa turned back to the girls and just put her head down sheepishly when the other girls looked at her like she was an idiot. She couldn't help it! He made her insides go all "ga-ga".

Jenny just shook her head. Then she spotted someone else she'd been looking for.

"Elise!" Jenny called out as she saw Elise coming down the stairs.

Elise paused at the bottom of the steps and pasted a faux smile on her face. She was anxious to get to Blair's. She was getting really tired of not being able to talk to Blair in school, but she had seen Blair talking to some girls today at lunch and she knew that after the gala things would definitely change for the better. She felt so bad about pretending to completely ignore Blair, but it really was for the best. She didn't want to make things worse for Blair.

"We're going to need you to pick up some supplies for the gala," Jenny said abruptly. "Stick around. We're waiting on the rest of the group and then we'll have the list ready for you."

Elise _really_ wanted to deny the request, but she also knew that she couldn't miss out on this opportunity. Plus, she couldn't show any rebellion in anyway or she might hurt "the plan". So she found herself agreeing and settled in to wait and see what would happen next.

**

* * *

**

Leftovers anyone? Seems apple pie and turkey weren't the only thing on B and C's minds for the holiday of giving thanks. It didn't last long which makes sense since B was escorted by N to her debut. Just a little scoop! Oh, and while we're at it… is B making friends? NHL? No, B isn't starting a new hockey league. She was spotted at lunch chatting it up. Do we see a new royal court forming? Is B plotting a takeover? Wonder if it will be hostile. Who am I kidding, like B would have it any other way. You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl

**

* * *

**

**Wednesday, February 13th. 3:30pm. 2**_days until the Sweetheart Gala_

"Chuck, I think this morning's present was more for you than for me," Blair laughed into her phone.

"Fluffy toys hold very little interest for me," Chuck said. "Well… it depends on the toy."

"Ew!" Blair scoffed. "That's disgusting."

Chuck had surprised her, once again, this morning with the latest delivery. She loved the two giant stuffed bears the minute she saw them sitting on either side of the bouquet of roses on the hall table.

Then she couldn't stop laughing when she'd seen that each bear had a little name tag sewn onto them: Blair #2 and Blair #3.

"Your dreams of a Blair-threesome are looking a little over-stuffed," Blair said, a laugh in her voice.

Chuck didn't respond, just rolled his eyes through the phone.

"There was a point to this call," Chuck finally said. He wanted to come see her, but he had too much crap to do before his forced dinner with his father. He was looking forward to annoying Serena, but he would still rather be with Blair.

"Yes?" Blair asked.

Chuck took a deep breath before finally asking the question he'd been thinking about all day.

"Tomorrow's Valentine's Day," he began.

"Yes, I know," Blair said sarcastically.

"I have something special for you," he continued. He figured she'd let him give her something tomorrow without the paranoia from last night. It _was_ Valentine's Day. She couldn't expect anything less.

"Chuck," Blair said with a slight warning in her voice. She knew that tomorrow was the _actual_ holiday, but he'd already given her the tennis bracelet and sent her something every morning this week!

"So instead of another special delivery, I want to give you this myself," Chuck said.

"Well, I guess I'll see you at my house in the morning," Blair said, wondering why he didn't just surprise her by showing up. He seemed to like surprising her. It was curious that he didn't want to make a big deal out of this one.

"At school," Chuck finished. He held his breath, waiting for her answer. He knew she wanted to surprise Gossip Girl, and everyone else, on Friday when they made a grand entrance at the gala, but he couldn't wait any longer. He wanted everyone to know that they were together. He wanted them to know that she was his. And he didn't want to wait until they were alone to give her this.

When he purchased the necklace that he intended to give her yesterday, he'd also gotten the matching set. He was going to give each piece to her every day and then she'd know by Thursday exactly which piece was left for her to receive. He knew it was a little crazy and silly, but it was all part of the plan to soften her up before springing the truth on her. He was still going to give her the entire set eventually, but the piece he'd been saving for tomorrow…well, she was going to _get_ it tomorrow.

"Chuck…" Blair trailed off, unsure of what to say. Her stomach was actually getting a little nervous. She was excited about all her plans falling into place for the gala, and she was excited about going with him… but she thought she'd have more time to better _prepare_ for that entrance.

Tomorrow morning was pushing it a little… but he was actually asking permission for this… and it _was_ Valentine's Day. After all the crap she'd been through this year, she deserved a Valentine's Day to die for. And if her new…dare she think it?... _boyfriend_, wanted to give her a special present in the courtyard before school for all to see… she would let him. She just hoped Nate wouldn't be there to witness it. Not that he wouldn't hear about it… and not that she should be thinking about Nate at all…but… oh, she just had to put him out of her head. He wasn't going to come back. It was over. They were over. She was with Chuck now.

"Okay," Blair finally responded.

Chuck couldn't believe he just heard her say that. He was almost positive she'd deny him. He could live with waiting one more day, but the fact that she had said yes now… his stomach flipped over and he couldn't contain the smile coming over his face. It didn't matter anyway, he was in his room at The Palace—no one could see him.

He wasn't going to waste time asking her if she was sure. He didn't want her to change her mind, but he also knew that Blair didn't say anything lightly. If she was agreeing, that was it. She wouldn't go back on her word tomorrow.

"Anything else up your sleeve tomorrow, Bass?" Blair managed to say. She assumed that since he'd had plans for them every day this week, he would probably come up with something for tomorrow too. It was kind of nice not having to be the only one to make plans. Nate hadn't done anything spontaneous in a long time.

"That I do," Chuck said. "Limo. After school. You won't want to miss it."

"Noted."

* * *

**Wednesday, February 13****th****. 4:30pm. 2**_ days until the Sweetheart Gala_

"Finally!" Blair said as she stood up from her settee and went over to greet Elise. "I was beginning to think you weren't coming."

"Sorry," Elise said. "I ended up having to run some errands…"

Blair rolled her eyes. "Don't worry. I understand…what's this?" Blair asked as she pointed to the large bag in Elise's hands.

"_This_ made the entire afternoon worthwhile," Elise said as she opened the bag and held it forward for Blair to look inside.

"Is that what I think it is?" Blair said, her eyes widening and a large smirk forming on her face.

"Yes!" Elise said excitedly.

Blair took the bag from Elise and walked up next to her, turning to face in the same direction as she swung her arm around her and started escorting her toward the stairs up to her room.

"Elise, _you_ are an evil genius." She didn't know Elise had it in her, but this was definitely shaping up to be one of the best and biggest takedowns in the history of Constance Billiards.

Elise just giggled and followed along.

"So what did you have to pick up?" Blair asked during their walk up the stairs.

"Well, first, let me tell you…" Elise smiled. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone's face as red as Hazel's was."

"Why? What happened?" Blair asked as they went into her room.

Elise flopped on the bed while Blair sat the bag on her desk and went searching for a nail file, scissors, maybe some sand paper, and anything that would be helpful for removing glue. She didn't have most of the stuff, but she would just call some local hardware store to deliver whatever she was missing.

"They were having a meeting for the gala committee. Hazel started talking about things to get—making a list for me, of course—when Hannah started giving other ideas about the decorations and table settings, as well as the music," Elise explained.

"Really…" Blair said, still searching but pausing as a smug smile came over her face.

"Hazel looked like she was about to start yelling at her, but the points Hannah was making were good and all the other girls agreed with her," Elise said, laughing again. "It was so funny! Definitely worth the trip to the store!"

"I bet," Blair laughed.

"The only thing Hazel wouldn't budge on was the DJ," Elise said. "The girls kept trying to talk her into getting a different one, but she said she'd just make sure the guy didn't play anything too scandalous. She said she'd tell the guy to play a lot of R&B."

Blair just shook her head. At least she had tried to make the evening as perfect as possible.

"Oh, and that wasn't even the best part!" Elise giggled. "Then Gossip Girl's post came out about you eating lunch with Hannah, Natalie, and Liz! Hazel's eyes nearly bugged out of the sockets and then she firmly instructed them about 'fraternizing with sluts'. The girls said something about American History notes."

"Did they now?" Blair said, a smirk coming over her face.

"It was so crazy! I don't know what happened after that because Hazel gave me the list and told me to go," Elise said. "It took me almost an hour to get everything. I had to bring it to Kati's, that's where everyone ended up."

Blair finally found some scissors and a nail file. She took the item out of Elise's bag and started to work.

"What're you doing?" Elise asked, perplexed. "Ooh, chocolates!" Her attention was distracted by the box sitting on the night stand.

"This needs a few adjustments. And if you want one of those, be my guest," Blair said, nodding toward the box. She had only had two pieces in total since she opened Chuck's Tuesday morning present. "It's the gold collection, only the best."

Elise opened the box and chose one, taking a small bite. "This is so good!" Then she looked over at Blair as a look of realization came over her face. "Did someone give these to you?"

Blair didn't look up at her, but a small smile started playing at her lips, "Maybe."

Elise squealed and bounced over to the desk to stand next to Blair. "Who is it? Tell me!"

Blair just gave a small laugh, "It's a secret."

"You know you can tell me anything!" Elise said, excitement clear in her voice.

Blair finally looked up at Elise. She grinned. She knew she could tell her anything. After everything that had gone into this plan, Elise wouldn't think of being disloyal…and she really was the sweetest girl. She would never be as close to her as Serena was, but Elise was definitely going to be sticking around for a long while.

"Well…" Blair began.

"Who?" Elise demanded.

"Chuck," Blair answered before turning back to work on her project.

Elise paused, "Chuck Bass?" She didn't know him at all, but she did know that Blair had supposedly dated him before Cotillion. She also knew that Jenny hated him and warned everyone to stay away from him—even Elise, a freshman who everyone usually overlooked.

"Yes," Blair nodded.

"But, why did he send you chocolates? I mean, you dated him like months ago, right? Are you two getting back together?" Elise asked, wondering if this was a good thing.

Blair just picked up the scissors and went-to-town on her project, not answering the question because she was trying to figure out what to say and what not to say.

"Blair?" Elise asked, curious.

"Could you pass me one of those?" Blair asked, turning to nod toward the box on the night stand. She leaned back in her chair and put the scissors down, deciding to take a break.

Elise picked up the box and held it out for Blair.

Blair selected one and brought it up to her lips for a small bite.

"Yes, Elise," Blair finally explained with a smile. "Didn't I mention that I have a date for the gala?"

"You're going with him?" Elise said, getting excited for Blair once again. She should've known better than to worry about whatever Jenny said about Chuck. Jenny had already said so many horrible things about Blair, and it was definitely not true! Jenny had probably made up the things about Chuck too.

Blair just nodded and turned back to her desk.

"Can I help with that?" Elise asked, wondering what exactly Blair was doing to the thing.

"Of course," Blair said. "File this side down while I cut away the stuff on this side."

Elise pulled up another chair and started to get to work.

"So have you decided on a dress from your mother's collection yet?" Elise asked.

"Not yet, but I have narrowed it down to two," Blair said.

Elise just nodded. She was very happy with her own light blue dress; she couldn't wait to see which one Blair chose. She knew whichever the choice Blair would definitely be the belle-of-the-ball!

* * *

"What's this?" Lily asked as she entered Serena's room and stood with her arms crossed at the door.

Serena was lying on her back, staring at the ceiling. She didn't look at her mother as she replied, "Red Hot Chili Peppers, circa 1992."

"I _know_ the band. That's not what I meant," Lily said with a sigh as she walked over to turn off the IPOD on its dock.

Serena groaned and picked up her pillow before covering her face with it.

"I don't understand this reluctance," Lily said. "And I don't care. Get ready for dinner. Bart and Chuck should be here within the hour."

"I _am_ ready," Serena said, her voice muffled by the pillow.

"Hardly," Lily said. "Serena. That is enough." Just then Eric appeared at the doorway. Lily smiled at him and walked over.

"Eric, you look very handsome," Lily said with a pat on the back as she wrapped her arm around him. "Maybe you can get your sister into something more fitting for dinner. Jeans and a t-shirt will not suit."

"I'll see what I can do," Eric said charmingly and convincingly. He hoped that his mother would just leave the room. She always seemed to make things worse. He would try to figure out what was bothering Serena, but Lily had to go.

Lily sighed and gave Eric a quick hug before exiting the room.

"Can you turn that back on?" Serena asked. She raised her hand and pointed at the IPOD dock.

Eric rolled his eyes and made his way over. He pressed the play button—Lily had only put it on pause—but made sure to turn the volume down a few decibels too.

_I don't ever want to feel  
Like I did that day  
Take me to the place I love  
Take me all the way_

_I don't ever want to feel  
Like I did that day  
Take me to the place I love  
Take me all the way_

"Well, at least it's not 'suck my kiss'," Eric said. He could stand to listen to most of Serena's (and Lily's) music, but not everything.

Serena just rolled her eyes, "That's number five."

"Right," Eric said uninterestingly.

"Come on, Serena. Let's just get this over with. No amount of escaping under the bridge is going to make Bart or Chuck go away," Eric said with a small smile at his play on Chili Pepper song titles.

"You're not helping," Serena groaned at his attempt at a joke.

"We've dealt with our fair share of mom's guys. What's making Bart Bass any different?" Eric asked. He'd been amazed to see another expression on Bart's face Christmas morning...but considering Eric was in an awkward state of shock at the fact that Bart had actually tried to make a connection with him based on his supposed love of Florida, it had taken him a while to remember the look.

Serena groaned and put the pillow over her face again. "It's not Bart."

"What then?" Eric asked, then he realized. "Oh… its Chuck, isn't it?" He'd seen Chuck talking to Serena at the family engagement dinner. He didn't hear what was being said, but he knew Chuck was making his sister uncomfortable.

Serena just screamed into her pillow. She knew this was her fault. If she hadn't said anything to her mother about Rufus, Serena wouldn't have to spend the evening with _Chuck Bass_, of all people. Of course, having Dan as a brother wouldn't have been a good thing either. Why did her mother have to get re-married? _Why!?_

"What's wrong Serena?" Eric asked.

"I just do _not_ want to be near him. And I'm definitely not dressing up for him," Serena said.

"Well, you're not doing it for him, you're doing it for mom," Eric said. "Besides, dinner can't be _that_ bad. I mean, I'll be sure to sit next to you, and with mom and Bart at the heads of the table, Chuck will just have to sit on the other side. _And_, Chuck can't be too annoying in front of his dad and our mom."

"You don't know Chuck Bass well apparently," Serena said. She finally sat up, but only to sit cross legged with the pillow in her lap. She pushed her hair back over her shoulders and sighed again.

"Serena… Chuck is Bart's son. Mom is marrying Bart. Chuck _is_ going to be our brother, whether we like it or not," Eric explained the facts to her. "Who knows? Maybe Chuck will like having a built-in family."

Serena couldn't help it, she started laughing. The idea that Chuck would want a family for anything more than the 'pleasure' he would get out of the sexual innuendos was just too funny for words. Chuck had lived with no restraints and no parents for so long that he would probably scoff at anyone attempting to tell him what to do.

"Well, at least I can still make you laugh," Eric said sardonically. "Seriously, what's so bad about Chuck Bass? He can't be that horrible."

"Little brother, you have _much_ to learn," Serena said with a shake of her head. She finally got out of bed and started rummaging through her closet. "I'll take it from here," she explained, letting Eric know that she was going to get dressed in something _suitable_—she mocked her mother in her head.

Eric left, closing the door shut behind him, and Serena dragged out a short black dress with turquoise embroidery.

Serena went through the motions of getting dressed and ready, but all she could think about was how badly she wanted to slap Chuck for starting things up with Blair again. She couldn't possibly sit civilly throughout dinner when she knew that any day now something was going to happen. She wasn't looking forward to that "something". She knew that Blair was going to be hurt again, and after being hurt so harshly already, she didn't know if Blair would be strong enough to recover.

And how _do_ you pretend that you're happy about a new stepfather and _'brother'_ when said _brother_ was ultimately the root of your best friend's destruction? Probably the same way you pretend that you're okay even though your boyfriend's sister was the one that _caused_ that destruction…because of a conversation that _you_ had with your boyfriend.

Had the universe conspired to make everyone responsible for Blair's destruction?

Because that's the way it seemed to Serena.

She was _so_ not looking forward to this dinner.

* * *

**Wednesday, February 13****th****. 6:30pm. 2**_ days until the Sweetheart Gala_

"Your mother did what?" Elise exclaimed and started laughing. Blair couldn't help laughing with her.

The project was officially finished and ready for delivery.

Now the girls were listening to music and having dinner while talking. Blair was acting completely uncharacteristic considering that they were eating in the middle of her bed. _Plus_, even though Blair had told Elise that it was not a good idea, Elise had _still_ ordered a vegetarian pizza. Blair hadn't touched it, but she had ordered a chef salad and gave Dorota the night off from cooking. It figured Elise had the metabolism of Serena—the only other girl Blair knew who could eat things like burgers, pizzas, and fries without gaining an ounce.

Of course, given all the chocolates the two of them had eaten throughout the entire afternoon, Blair might as well have eaten some of the pizza.

"She had a Moroccan themed party, with a bong and belly dancers!" Blair said, still finding the entire thing completely amusing.

"Old people are so crazy sometimes," Elise shook her head.

"Tell me about it," Blair smirked and took a bite of her salad.

Elise took a bite of her pizza and nearly choked as she remembered a funny "old person" story. Her eyes widened.

She finished chewing and swallowed quickly, waving her hand to let Blair know she had something funny to share.

Finally Elise managed to get her breath, "my grandmother, my dad's mom, oh my goodness! She is definitely the craziest woman you will ever meet." (1)

"Go on," Blair encouraged.

"She takes all these prescriptions that she keeps with her at all times, and _no_ one goes near her purse. She once gave my cousin some pill for her cold, and Casey didn't wake up for two days! Of course her cold was completely gone, but still," Elise laughed, so did Blair. "Anyway! She was staying with my aunt and uncle at their home in Maine. She'd been living there for at least six months. Who knows what pills she was on, but she woke up in the middle of the night from a sound sleep. She was really groggy and out of it. She called out for my aunt and uncle, but no one responded."

"Okay…" Blair said, waiting for the punch-line. This grandmother did seem a little loopy.

"So…," Elise drew out the word, trying not to laugh, "she called the cops and told them that someone was in the house and they had murdered her family and beat her up."

"Oh. My. God," Blair said in complete shock. "How is it that _no_ one knows about this?"

"My uncle covered it up," Elise explained. "Everyone can laugh about it now except Uncle Keith. He was the one who answered the door at three in the morning and was told to 'come out with your hands up'. He tried to explain that it was his house, but they were _so_ not listening."

"He could have gotten killed," Blair said.

"You're telling me? The place was crawling with cops. They had surrounded the house and everything!" Elise said.

"What happened to your grandmother?" Blair asked, starting to visualize everything in her mind, she couldn't help laughing either knowing that the uncle was fine.

"Well, nobody has worked up enough courage to ask her what the cops said to her, but they didn't lock her up—so that was a good sign," Elise said.

"And that was it?" Blair asked incredulously.

"Well, Uncle Keith and Aunt Shelly did take away her phone privileges," Elise said with a grin.

Blair couldn't help laughing again. It was nice to know her parents weren't the only extremely dysfunctional people in the Upper East Side. She hoped that this wasn't a preview of things she had to look forward to once her mother got to be up there in her years. The idea was sobering…and then she pictured her mother with white hair, wrinkles, and a bong, and she was laughing again.

"Miss Blair!" the girls could hear Dorota call her name over the music, surprisingly.

Elise leaned over and turned down the volume as Dorota continued.

"Mister Nate is here to see you," Dorota finished.

Blair dropped her fork and looked toward her door in shock. _What the hell was he doing here?_

She looked over at Elise who seemed uncertain and a little confused as well.

Blair made herself take a couple of deep breaths before making her way over to her vanity to brush her hair and freshen up her lipstick. She wasn't trying to look good for Nate; she was just making herself more presentable in general.

She finished and looked toward Elise, bringing a finger up to her lips that signaled 'silence'. Elise nodded quickly.

Then Blair made her way out of the room, closing the door behind her. She hesitated at the top of the stairs before slowly making her way down.

As she reached the bottom, she saw Nate close-up for the first time in what seemed like forever. He was standing there in a blue sweater with a white dress shirt underneath and a pair of khaki pants completing the outfit.

He seemed to have a problem looking at her. This was evident by the way he was turned away and looking at the living room.

She didn't know why he was here, but she did know that judging by the look on his face and the way he was standing, it was probably not to make up. Which was fine by her, she had moved on… _right_? Right. She was with Chuck now. That's the way it was…had Nate picked _now_, the day after she had decided to give up on her dream of a happily ever after with him, to make amends? He had the worst timing in the history of man!

"What do _you_ want?" she snapped a little too snottily. She couldn't help it though. On the one hand she felt bad for him and everything he'd gone through recently—the stuff with his dad, finding out about her and Chuck. But on the other hand, she was a little ticked at him too: bad timing, not being able to forgive her for the same transgression _he_ made, not talking to her for over a month.

It didn't matter why he was here; she was definitely going to give him a piece of her mind for not listening to her all those weeks ago.

And that was that.

_

* * *

_

To be continued…

(1): This grandmother was actually based on a grandmother of a friend I have at work. The friend told me it was okay to include this description for this story. So, S, thanks! :0)

* * *


	19. Chapter 18

**REMINDER! REMINDER! REMINDER!**

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about the new episodes due to begin April 21st. Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

* * *

**Wednesday, February 13****th****. **_Earlier that afternoon_

"So, we're going to hang out at Brandon's, you game?" Luke asked. He was standing behind Nate, acting as his spotter, while Nate finished a few reps on the weight bench.

Nate pushed the bar up and settled it into its holder. He sat up and grabbed a towel to wipe his brow. He looked over at Tim who was on the leg press.

"Yeah," Nate answered Luke. He grinned when he heard Tim grunting. "I think you put too much weight on that."

"I got it, man," Tim said as he pushed his feet twice more before stopping. "See? Cake."

Nate just shook his head. Tim was going to end up with a cramp if he kept on increasing the press.

He hit the showers when his workout was over and then met up with Luke and Tim before hopping across town to Brandon's place. It was one of the expensive brownstones that only a trust-fund-baby's parents would own.

Brandon let them in and led them into the game room, which basically consisted of a pool table, a foosball table, couches, and a big screen flat screen television that Matt—who was also there—was already commandeering with Madden '08.

Nate settled in to have a good time with the guys, and everything was going great until Brandon got out his stash.

The guys were anxious to light up and chill a little, but Nate wasn't interested. He hadn't touched the stuff for almost two weeks, not since the day Chuck came to visit. He also felt weird about touching it considering his own father was in rehab at the moment for a drug addiction.

Nate shook his head when Matt attempted to pass the joint to him.

"C'mon man, it's not like you have some old lady to please. Have a hit," Matt said encouragingly. The first thing that had crossed Matt's mind when he noticed that Nate had joined in with the guys was Blair. He seemed to have her on his mind too much lately. He wasn't the type to even think about a girl unless she was right in front of him. Nobody stuck with him this long.

"Nah, I'm good," Nate shook his head.

"Aw, boy doesn't smoke," Matt said sarcastically, teasing him.

"Not anymore," Nate said firmly.

"Sheesh, where's your balls man? No wonder Blair went looking for other options," Matt mocked him, laughing at his own joke as he passed the joint to Tim instead.

Nate jerked his head to Matt and glared. He hadn't been expecting this crap and he was not in the mood for it. He was planning on going to see Blair later because all the questions were finally getting to him. Well, he _was_ planning on it, but he kept putting it off because he was dreading it. And now Matt was putting it in his face. Nate was getting ticked.

"What?" Nate said, flabbergasted by this latest attack.

"You heard me," Matt said with a wicked little twist to his lips. He was wondering if Archibald had any balls at all considering his lack of response to Matt's jab.

"I'm outta here," Nate said as he got to his feet. He really didn't need this right now.

"What, afraid you might end up like daddy?" Matt taunted. He couldn't seem to stop the words from flowing from his mouth… probably because he was high, but he did seem to want to start something with Archibald. He didn't know why the guy was getting to him, but he was.

That was probably one of the worst things Matt could possibly say. Nate didn't even hesitate before going for Matt, who stood up himself in anticipation. Fortunately Luke, the more level headed of the bunch, jumped up and stopped Nate's progress immediately.

"Hold up!" Luke said. He pushed a hand back into Matt's chest when it looked like Matt was intending on getting up into Nate's face too. "Chill yo, what's up with you?" he asked Matt.

"Nothing, Archie over here just needs to take a chill pill," Matt explained, his face sneering at Nate.

"I think _you_ need to take a _chill pill_," Nate spit out the words angrily. "What's wrong with you?"

"Not a damn thing," Matt said, tilting his head to the side. "What, you think you're too good for a little blow? Think you're better than the rest of us? Hate to break it to you Baldie, but you're a cheater and your father is a coke head and a thief."

Nate tried to push past Luke to get at Matt again but Luke was having none of that. Brandon and Tim just watched, completely stupefied as Matt taunted Nate from behind Luke while Luke kept trying to hold Nate back.

"He's not worth it, man," Luke finally whispered to Nate.

Matt caught wind of the words though. "Keep telling yourself that. But things are changing around here, and for once mister golden boy won't have a little pedestal to sit on."

To Nate, and everyone else in the room who still had enough brain waves to make the connection, that certainly sounded like a threat. But they had always thought of Nate as the golden boy too until this week.

Nate was still completely floored and confused about where any of this was coming from. He didn't usually talk much to Matt anyway so why was he attacking him? It didn't make sense to Nate… but one thing was for sure, he wasn't going to forget Matt's words.

He finally left the house, but he was still ticked. The bastard had put down him and his father in one fell swoop. And with Luke there to referee, Nate couldn't do anything about it yet.

At least the anger was giving him enough emotion to finally put aside any nerves or dread that had been eating away at him.

It was time to talk to Blair.

And that was that.

* * *

**Wednesday, February 13****th****. 7:00 pm. 2**_ days until the Sweetheart Gala_

There was silence around the dinner table. It had been that way for a good five minutes before Bart made an attempt at conversation.

"So Eric, baseball season is fast approaching," Bart said.

Serena tried not to cringe as Lily looked down at her plate. Eric looked at Bart, still a little shocked that the man kept talking to him. Chuck just raised an eyebrow and tried to pretend interest in the food in front of him.

"Yes, sir, yes it is," Eric nodded, trying to portray enthusiasm.

"I've already checked the schedule to see when the Marlins are playing here," Bart said. "As soon as tickets become available, they're ours." Bart nodded in affirmation.

Eric opened his mouth but the words got stuck. He had no idea what to say. Bart seemed to think this would really make him happy. When in fact, the idea of spending time sitting next to Bart Bass at a baseball game was making him feel quite the opposite.

Chuck frowned in concentration at his plate. What the hell was his father talking about? And why was he talking about some stupid baseball game—Chuck knew his father could care less about the sport—like he actually wanted to go? And when was the last time Bart initiated any kind of activity with _him_? Not that Chuck cared. He preferred to spend as little time around his father as possible.

"Oh, that's really not necessary," Eric managed to say.

"Of course it is," Bart said with a nod. "In fact, we'll make a man's day out of it. Chuck will come with us too."

Chuck made what was hopefully a nod in his father's direction. He knew better than to go against his father's commands.

Eric had just taken a bite of his salad and almost choked on it.

Serena just sighed and looked down, glad that she didn't fit the gender required for Bart's latest attempt at making nice.

"Let's make it a family affair," Chuck suggested wryly. He looked at Serena for her expression to his next words. "Serena, you do enjoy playing ball, correct?"

Serena snapped her head up and glared at him.

"I've been known to kick a few balls out of the park," she responded with a warning, reminding him of the time she'd kicked his. He better not start this crap. She was definitely not in the mood.

Chuck just smirked.

Bart looked at Serena in confusion. Was she that uninformed about sports?

"You do realize that the ball is hit with a bat, not kicked," Bart said gently.

Serena looked at him with her mouth opened. Did he really think she was that big of an idiot?

Chuck guffawed.

Lily noticed the tension and hastened to change the subject. "So, do you children have plans for tomorrow?"

Chuck couldn't wait to bait Serena some more. "Yes, Serena, what _does_ Brooklyn have planned?"

"Brooklyn?" Bart asked, confused again and with a little disgust in his voice at that area of the city.

Serena glared at Chuck before snapping her head over to Bart. "_Dan_, my boyfriend," she explained, though it pained her to have to share something personal with him.

She looked at her mother, "I don't know. It's a surprise."

Lily nodded, though she did look at Chuck with a little confusion. She didn't understand why the boy seemed to be attacking Dan. What was going on?

"Can't be much," Chuck responded with a smirk, knowing he was hitting below the belt by referring to Dan's lack of monetary means.

"Mom!" Eric exclaimed a little too loudly in his attempt to, once again, change the subject. Everyone looked at him, startled. He was finally starting to realize what Serena had been talking about earlier when she said that he didn't know Chuck.

"So," Eric said nervously now that everyone's attention was on him, "what are your and Mr. Bass' plans in Milan?"

"Bart, remember," Bart said with an attempt at a smile.

Eric nodded to Bart, then looked at his mother and corrected himself. "What are your and Bart's plans in Milan?"

"Oh, you know, the Quadrilatero d'Oro," Lily began.

Bart groaned and Serena squealed. Chuck just rolled his eyes. Eric hadn't been to Italy since he was little and didn't understand the reaction.

"What's the big deal?" Eric asked.

Serena gasped in shock that her brother didn't know. "That's the area where all the major Italian fashion designers have their stores! Mother, you _must_—" she began to tell her what to get her.

"Calm down, Serena," Lily said with an excited smile of her own. "We don't want to bore the men with fashion talk."

"We'll be taking in a performance at La Scala as well," Bart remarked, changing the subject from the dreaded fashion one by talking about the famous opera house.

No one really had much to say about that, who really liked opera anyway? At least everyone had begun talking, but Serena knew that dinner was a long way from over.

And she really just wanted it to be over.

* * *

"What do _you_ want?" Blair said almost snottily, and more than a little upset. Why was Nate here? And why wouldn't he look at her? And why had it taken him a month to finally come to talk to her when they had been together for practically their entire lives?

"Did you tell Chuck that Jenny told me?" Nate asked, still not looking at her.

Blair stood uncomprehending for a moment. Nate had come here to talk about _that_? _That!?_

"What difference does _that_ make?" Blair said sarcastically and disgusted.

Nate finally looked at her. "Chuck didn't know two weeks ago. It means that you've been talking to him," Nate accused.

Blair opened her mouth in shock before finally settling in to give him a piece of her mind. "Who I talk to is _none of your business_." Not that he hadn't stated clearly: _"You and Chuck deserve each other."_

"Oh no, you don't get to play the boss here Blair, you caused this mess between us," Nate spat out. "_You _slept with Chuck!"

"There _is_ nothing between us anymore. And _you_ slept with Serena!" Blair spat back at him. Not that any of this mattered. And she could "play the boss" all she wanted to. Nate wasn't even a part of her life anymore. She could make any commands she wanted.

"Ah, and there it is," Nate gestured with a sarcastic shrug of his shoulders, "The answer to my other question." He looked at her with disgust before continuing, "Only a whore would sleep with someone for revenge."

Blair felt like she had just been slapped. After everything that she'd been through, having yet another person whom she cared about calling her a whore was the last thing she needed or wanted…especially since she still thought of herself as one no matter what Serena or Chuck told her differently.

But it wasn't true… it couldn't be true. She wasn't like that. She really wasn't.

"That's not fair and you know it," Blair snapped, a heart beat away from slapping_ him_. "It was _definitely _not for revenge." It hadn't been. She wouldn't have done that. She didn't know why she was taking the defense here instead of the offense. It was probably because she had a built-in subconscious need to please Nate and try to act perfect around him. She had given up on them ever getting back together, but that didn't mean she couldn't get hurt by whatever he said.

"Oh, really?" Nate said sarcastically, "Then what _would_ you call it?" He knew he was going a little overboard here. He hadn't meant to attack her verbally the way he was, but he'd had enough of guys from school, enough of problems with his parents, enough of missing his best friend, and enough of missing her. He was taking it all out on her and the angry words just seemed to be pouring out of his mouth.

"I call it being rejected a million times by _you_!" Blair yelled at him. Nate flinched. "All I ever wanted was to be with you. All I ever wanted was for you to love me and you couldn't even do that. My entire world revolved around you and you didn't even see me."

Nate was silent. He didn't know what to say.

"But Chuck, he actually saw me. He was there for me when you couldn't be bothered. No, it had nothing to do with revenge and everything to do with being with someone who saw only me and_ not_ my best friend," Blair explained as she wiped angrily at her eyes. She didn't want to lose her composure, but it didn't seem to matter what she wanted. She just hoped she wasn't so loud that Elise could hear the conversation through her bedroom door.

"And don't you _ever_ call me a whore again!" Blair said, advancing closer to him. She was extremely upset now and if she had it in her, she would probably have slapped him by now. "I am not now, nor have I ever _been_ a whore!"

"Oh, and what about Carter?" Nate just had to ask. He knew she was getting more and more upset and he really wished he hadn't called her that, but there were too many things he didn't know still and until he had some answers he wasn't going to apologize. "Did you sleep with him _too_? You sure do move fast. Chuck, Carter, Me: trying to make up for lost time?"

She slapped him.

She didn't want to. She couldn't believe she did it. She actually covered her hand with her mouth after she did it. She had never done anything to intentionally hurt Nate in her life.

He was shocked that she had done it too. And it was definitely a wake up call for him. He realized how much of an ass he was being and he knew it was because of the ribbing he took earlier from Matt… and the accusations from Dick earlier in the week. He wasn't being fair. He had seen himself how much she was going through—the shell she had become. He knew that none of this was easy for her either and he should have just asked her to tell him everything before making any accusations. He knew all that now, but he'd just been seeing red before.

He took a deep breath and walked over to sit on the settee. He needed to try to find his head and figure out what to do from here. He was here for closure. He desperately needed to try to understand. Attacking her was not the way to go about this.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that," he whispered.

He ran his hands through his hair and let out a deep sigh. He closed his eyes and tried to think.

Blair just watched him. She couldn't believe she'd gone so completely out of control. But she didn't want to take the slap back. He deserved it. Of course, maybe she deserved one of her own for not telling him the truth before they got back together.

"I was never seeing Carter," Blair whispered.

Nate glanced up, raising an eyebrow.

"He left his jacket at my house during CeCe's tea. He just came to pick it up. That's what Gossip Girl had on video," Blair finished explaining quietly.

"Then why…" Nate trailed off as he realized what happened. He already knew the answer. "Chuck," he said in realization. He closed his eyes again.

"I asked him to find out who you were seeing. I was positive you were seeing someone," Nate said. He opened his eyes, sat up a little straighter, and looked at Blair. "It was him." He wasn't asking a question. He was stating a fact.

Blair just nodded, looking away.

"Un-freaking-believable," Nate said in disgust, shaking his head. "He talks me out of making up with you the day of your party, he uses my hatred of Carter to get me to ruin the Cotillion…" he was counting off all the things that Chuck had orchestrated behind his back that he had only found out later. There was one more thing he thought had something to do with Chuck, he just needed confirmation.

He looked at Blair and made eye contact, "Why did you avoid me when I got back from Monaco?"

Blair was still trying to recover from the little news that Chuck had something to do with Nate not showing up for her party. She tried to push that thought out of her head. She told herself that it didn't matter now because Nate had only wanted to get back together so Eleanor would help the Captain.

Nate started looking hard at her when she took too long to reply. "The truth, Blair," he insisted, his voice leaving no room for anything else.

Blair closed her eyes. "He made me." She tried not to think about that period in time anymore. Chuck had apologized and she had forgiven him. She probably shouldn't be telling Nate this now, but he had demanded the truth…and he probably deserved the truth…and she was still a little off balanced by Nate's revelation.

"Jesus," Nate said. He shook his head. Chuck knew how much Blair's rejection had bothered him. Nate had tried so hard to get back into Blair's good graces. Had Chuck been laughing at him behind his back every time Nate said anything about it?

"I'm sorry… he was going to tell you," Blair explained before opening her eyes again. She had felt so horrible about constantly turning her back on Nate when all she wanted to do at the time was be in his arms. She had felt so bad for hurting him. Turning him away when he told her that he loved her was one of the hardest things she had ever done.

Nate snickered with laughter. "_You_ should have," he said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry…" Blair said again. "I… I… I didn't want you to know and, you and I weren't together when it happened. It was in the past… and, you said yourself that we could just leave the past in the past. You said that nothing could tear us apart again. You promised. You said you loved me." Blair was remembering everything, all the emotions of that time. She had been so confused. She was so worried about everything. She hated not telling Nate the truth, but how could she?

"I said that without knowing all the facts," Nate said tiredly. "It wasn't as simple as you seemed to think it would be. That promise became void the minute you lied to me."

"You are such a hypocrite!" Blair proclaimed too loudly, disturbing the odd calmness that had overcome them after the shock of her slap.

"Don't play that card, Blair," Nate snapped.

"Who's playing around?" Blair asked sarcastically. "Oh, that would be _you_! At least I was broken up with you. _You_ cheated on _me!_"

Nate shook his head. "I thought we had gotten past that."

"Oh, I forgave you, but I'll never forget. I guess the question now is if you can do the same for me," Blair said with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow. Not that it mattered if he could forgive her. She was dating Chuck. She wouldn't mind being able to make up with Nate just because she didn't want to leave twelve-years of friendship in the dust. But she wasn't going to get back with Nate.

"I don't know if I can," Nate said softly. He had finally gotten all the answers to his questions. Now he needed to process everything, to figure out what to do from here. He understood everything so much more though.

"Then I guess it's time for you to leave," Blair said pointedly.

Nate nodded and got to his feet. He walked over to the elevator and pressed the button.

Blair tapped a foot impatiently before walking across the room to the table by the window. She had left a magazine there that she wanted to show Elise.

She turned back around and froze.

The elevator wasn't there yet, and apparently Nate had wondered over to the table about two feet away from the elevator doors.

She saw the little white card in his hand and winced.

Nate finished reading and looked up and over at her, clearly shocked. He hadn't even been meaning to snoop. He'd just seen the giant bears on either side of a bouquet of flowers. Then he noticed the little card on the table in front of the roses and barely paid attention to what he was doing when he picked it up to read it—he was trying to search for something to make the wait for the elevator not seem quite so nerve racking.

_Delicate and beautiful, they remind me of you. –C_

"Well, if not tomorrow, you would find out at the gala," Blair said, letting out a breath.

"After what he did?" Nate asked incredulously. He tossed the card on the table and looked at her, trying to comprehend.

"Look, he was drunk and high at the party," Blair said flippantly, trying to excuse Chuck's actions. "He apologized. It _won't_ happen again." She still felt a little embarrassed by the entire incident…more that Nate had walked in on them than anything else.

"I'm not talking about what he tried to do," Nate said, "not that it wasn't crazy enough. I'm talking about what he _did_ do."

Blair just shook her head in confusion, completely perplexed.

"He ruined you!" Nate said flabbergasted. "He was the one to tip off Gossip Girl to everything. How could you be with him after _that_?" He knew she forgave _him_ for almost anything, was she really willing to forgive Chuck for _this_?

Blair stared at him with no emotion on her face. She had heard the words, but she didn't think she was hearing them properly.

"Who told you that…," Blair whispered. She felt an odd tremor in her spine but tried to ignore it. He was wrong, that wasn't true. It couldn't be.

"_He_ did!" Nate said. The elevator doors opened just then. Nate hurriedly put a hand up to hold the doors before looking back at Blair.

The look on her face stopped him cold. Gone was the anger and tears from earlier. In its place was the shell. The same expression that had him calling Serena a week ago to get some information out of her. The same expression that told him that Blair was _not_ doing well since their final breakup.

The same expression that told him that Blair hadn't known about Chuck's revenge even though Chuck seemed to think she did know.

"You didn't know…" Nate whispered in realization, stating the obvious.

Blair couldn't move. She seemed rooted to the spot. She finally realized she needed to say something, so she forced the words out. "Please leave," she said woodenly.

Nate looked at her a few seconds more before finally doing as she instructed.

As the elevator doors slid shut, he breathed a sigh of relief that he had gotten through that talk. He was still a bit floored that Blair and Chuck weren't just talking again; they were seeing each other as well.

That didn't look like it would be the case for long though.

* * *

After Nate was gone, Blair wasn't sure how long she stood there clutching the magazine and staring at the roses.

Eventually she did move. She turned and made her way slowly up the stairs. She opened the door and walked into her room.

Elise looked up from the magazine she had found on Blair's desk.

"Everything okay?" she asked worriedly.

Blair somehow managed a nod before sitting on the bed and tossing the magazine she had brought with her to the side.

"Well, good," Elise said. She guessed Blair didn't want to talk about whatever Nate had wanted so she decided to change the topic.

"Did I tell you we just got a puppy?" Elise asked, eager to tell her about the new little bundle of fluff that she had finally convinced her mother to let her have.

Blair looked around as if in a daze. She shook her head and responded softly, "No, tell me." Then her eyes fell on the pizza box. "Do you have any left?"

Elise nodded, confused. She thought that Blair had said pizza was evil. Elise had almost changed her order, but she had really been in the mood for a veggie pizza.

Blair took out a slice.

"So… the puppy is a little lab," Elise went on to explain, though she was still watching Blair in confusion. "He really is the cutest thing…"

* * *

"Oh, Serena," Lily said. "I should probably ask her myself, but I want Blair to be my bridesmaid. I only really need you as my maid of honor, but one bridesmaid wouldn't hurt. Plus, I'd like to keep the wedding party to an even number and since neither Bart nor I have another daughter, and Blair is like one to me, it would be perfect."

"I'm sure she'd love to," Serena said with false cheer.

"And Chuck will be the best man, of course," Lily said with a nod to Chuck. "And Eric will be the groomsman."

Eric nodded jerkily. He'd been through enough of these weddings already that he knew he would have to be in the wedding party somehow.

Silence descended over the group after that. They had been having these long pauses intermittently throughout dinner. They were halfway through the main course now and really struggling for topics of conversation.

"So, the gala's Friday," Lily said. "I wish I could oversee this one like I usually do, but everyone needs a little vacation from time to time. Apparently a different girl is in charge of the committee at the school. I was surprised to hear that it wasn't Blair." Lily looked questionably at Serena.

"Blair isn't on the committee," Serena explained.

"Well, why not?" Lily asked perplexed. "I thought she was always the first to sign up and almost always in charge."

"She was a little… preoccupied the week of signups," Serena explained hurriedly. She was trying not to look at Chuck. She was so angry at him for getting involved with Blair again that she couldn't see straight, and this conversation was only reminding her of everything.

"Well that's too bad," Lily said, still a little confused but just shrugging it off. "She always does such a wonderful job."

"Oh, she did on this one too, you just wouldn't know it," Serena said with a roll of her eyes.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"The girls didn't think Hazel was doing a good job so they asked Blair for some advice," Serena said with a slow smirk. "The entire thing is going to be re-done the way Blair suggested… well, most of it anyway. Hazel doesn't even know."

"I see…Hazel is the one in charge?" Lily said.

"For now," Serena said tartly before turning back to her meal.

Chuck just watched and listened to the entire exchange. He wanted to smile, but didn't. He was extremely pleased to hear about all of this, even if it was something as miniscule as putting together an event. Blair was definitely working things out at school. Blair was on her way to reclaiming her former status.

"So, who are you all going to the gala with?" Lily asked, her eyes wondering over all three of the children.

Bart had stopped trying to find a way into the conversation a while back, now he just sat and listened, interjecting if he could. He didn't know much about the world of a teenager with galas and event planning, and he was definitely not going to pretend to know.

Serena looked at her mother, "Dan, of course."

"What about you Chuck? Any lucky lady joining you?" Lily asked, looking at her future stepson.

Chuck opened his mouth to respond but Bart cut him off. Bart had finally found a place to interject. "Of course not," Bart said with a laugh. "Chuck plays the field."

Chuck wanted to rebuttal, but he decided to just keep his mouth shut. Although he knew mentioning Blair right now would definitely piss Serena off.

"Eric, what about you?" Bart asked.

Eric looked up, once again, at Bart Bass. The man couldn't seem to stop trying to drag him into the conversation. The gala was a sore topic for him because Serena kept insisting he ask someone even though he had stated clearly that he didn't want to ask anyone. So, he hastened to change the subject once again. He was getting tired of having to do that.

"No, no date," Eric said hurriedly. "So…" Eric winced inwardly when he brought up the other dreaded conversation again—it was better though because Bart was going to leave eventually. Serena was going to be at home all night long and would definitely bother him about asking someone. "You said you didn't know when the games were happening yet, right? I must admit, I can't wait. The Marlins versus the Yankees, an awesome game indeed."

Eric finished his statement and looked expectantly at Bart. Then he got nervous when Bart started to give him that weird look again.

Serena suddenly burst out laughing. She tried to make it seem natural and not forced. Everyone just looked at her.

"Good one, Eric," Serena said, still acting amused.

Eric gave his sister a weird look.

Serena turned to Bart, "Of course he meant the Mets, not the Yankees. Everyone knows the Marlins and the Mets are National League while Yankees are American League."

Eric closed his mouth tightly and tried to manage a smile. He wasn't too good at acting—as his fake laugh would attest. He knew there was a reason he shouldn't talk about the baseball stuff.

Bart just nodded and attempted a smile. He didn't think the joke was funny, but he could pretend amusement.

Chuck looked at Eric with a raised eyebrow. Something was up with the boy. Eric was acting like he didn't know squat about this sport Bart kept insisting that Eric liked. What was with all the stories? He figured he'd never find out though. Serena wasn't about to say anything to him and he didn't think he'd ever had a single exchange _with_ Eric.

The silence descended again.

Then a piercing ringing noise came from the living room area.

Lily looked at Serena who gave her a sheepish look.

"I'll just let it go to voicemail," Serena explained. She had forgotten that she hadn't put the phone on silent, and she had left it on the table in the living room instead of in her room.

The conversation was still stalled as the final rings died out.

Then the phone started ringing again.

"Just answer it Serena," Lily said with a sigh.

Serena pushed back from the table, glad for a chance to get away.

She rushed over and picked it up. She didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?" Serena asked. She heard a weird babbling on the other end. "Who is this?"

"Elise" was the only thing Serena could make out before the girl was off again, babbling incoherently.

Serena held her hand out toward her mother and indicated that she was going to her room. Lily just shook her head as she left.

Chuck tried to hear whatever Serena was saying. He was nosy, that's just the way he was. Of course all he heard before Serena entered her room was, "Calm down sweetie. I can't understand a word you're saying. Talk slowly, breathe."

Serena finally walked into her room and managed to get Elise to calm down at the same time.

"I don't know what's going on!" Elise exclaimed into the phone. "I'm over Blair's and Nate came and left, and then everything was fine when she came back upstairs except she was eating pizza, which was really weird. And then I started telling her a story about my new puppy and then I asked her if she was _sure_ she was okay and she's just like 'yes' and then I'm like 'you do realize you just ate three slices of pizza' and then she, like… dropped the crust and looked like she was about to start crying. She told me to call you before racing for the bathroom and now she's locked herself in there and I don't know what's going on, but I think she's still crying and I'm worried about her and I don't know what to do! Help, Serena!" Elise was really concerned and she wanted to help Blair as much as she could. She only hoped that Serena got there as quickly as possible.

Serena gripped the phone tighter and clenched her eyes shut. _Damn it_, she thought.

"I'm coming," Serena said briskly.

"Ok, hurry!" Elise finished.

Serena hung up the phone and left her room. She found her purse and her coat and walked quickly back into the dining room. She went to her mother who was looking more and more ticked at her by the second.

"Excuse me," Serena said softly with a look toward Bart. He just nodded with an interested confused look. Chuck was staring at her now, wondering if she was really going to be able to get out of the rest of dinner—when he'd tried so hard to _not_ have to be there in the first place.

"Mom," Serena whispered as gently as possible to her mother so no one else could hear here. "Blair needs me."

Lily raised an eyebrow in question. The last time Serena had come to her like this at a dinner was Thanksgiving and she had told her that Blair was throwing up again. Did that mean the same thing was happening now?

Serena nodded. Lily sighed. "Go."

And Serena was gone.

Lily looked around the table, "Serena just had a bit of an emergency. No need to worry. So… Eric, tell me again why you haven't asked anyone to the gala?"

Eric tried not to groan.

Chuck barely paid any attention. Serena was the only reason this dinner was any fun, now he just wanted to get it over with. And where was Serena going anyway?

* * *

"Humphrey!" Vanessa exclaimed as she walked through Jenny's open doorway.

Jenny was so startled she shrieked and nearly fell out of bed.

"Whoa there," Vanessa said. "On edge much?"

Jenny finally managed to get her balance and sit properly on her bed. "Hey, V, what's up?"

"Your brother said something's up with you but you won't talk to him, I was hoping I could help… you know, if you needed someone to talk to?" Vanessa said encouragingly.

"My brother has a big mouth," Jenny grumbled. She got up and walked over to her desk. She opened her laptop and started to load it. "I have work to do."

"Well, work is good, go ahead and do it. But you know, if something's bothering you, maybe I can help," Vanessa said suggestively.

Jenny waited for the laptop to boot up but she was being plagued by images of Chuck the entire time.

"Jenny?" Vanessa asked from right behind her.

Jenny jumped, startled, she hadn't realized Vanessa had gotten that close to her.

"Why are you so jumpy?" Vanessa asked. "What's going on girl, you've always been able to tell me most anything."

Jenny knew that was true. She had never had a best friend like Dan did. But Dan's best friend had always made time for her. And maybe V _could_ help her, though she didn't see how.

"I'm having a problem with a guy from school," Jenny finally said.

"Really, and what's the problem? Or more importantly, who's the guy?" Vanessa sat down on Jenny's bed and waited for her to continue.

"Chuck," Jenny began.

Vanessa snorted in disgust. "I've met him, the guy's a jerk."

"Tell me about it," Jenny said. "Anyway, he's really mad at me right now and I'm afraid he's going to do something."

"Like what?" Vanessa said, a little on edge herself remembering how intimidated she'd felt when he got in her face. She still laughed about being able to get one over on him by giving him a blank tape. She was proud of herself for that little switcheroo.

"I don't know!" Jenny said desperately. "He's a manipulative jerk who likes to ruin people. He also likes to get a little too 'fresh' with freshman, and he's just horrible!"

"So… why not ruin him first?" Vanessa said slowly, an idea forming in her head.

"What do you have in mind?" Jenny asked, suddenly feeling a lot better.

"Well…."

* * *

"I'm here," Serena said breathlessly as she rushed into Blair's room.

Elise was pacing back and forth in front of the bathroom door. She was still holding the phone in her hand. She looked up when Serena raced in. "I am _so_ glad to see you. See if you can get her to open the door."

Serena walked over to the bathroom and knocked on the door. "Blair? Blair it's me, Serena." There were a few minutes of silence. "Blair?"

Finally the door opened. Blair didn't come out though; instead she sat on the ledge of the bathtub.

Serena looked at Elise. "Can you clear the bed? And give us a few minutes."

Elise nodded and went to work, glad to have something to do.

Serena walked in and shut the door. She went over to the ledge and joined Blair. "What's going on, B?"

"You were right," Blair whispered.

"Right about what?" Serena asked, her mind racing. She knew Nate had come by, but she couldn't think of one thing that could have happened to upset Blair this much.

"I never should have trusted him again," Blair said, tears welling in her eyes again. She swiped at them; she didn't want to cry again.

"Chuck," Serena said in realization. "What did he do?"

"Everything," Blair said weakly. "He did it all."

"I need a little more than that, B," Serena said.

"He did it, not Jenny," Blair said, staring straight ahead as she said it. "He told Gossip Girl. He did this to me."

Serena looked at Blair in horror as she realized the ramifications of their mistake. Jenny had insisted that she didn't do it. Dan hadn't believed her. Serena hadn't believed her. No one believed her. None of them thought Chuck would do it because he would lose Nate _and_ because Blair might have been pregnant.

"But…" Serena started. "I had just told him the night before that you might be pregnant. Why would he do that? If you were, it could have been his."

Blair let out a sarcastic laugh. "Because I told him that morning that I wasn't. We argued—but what else was new? I told him that the torture was over. That I wasn't playing that game anymore. He said it wasn't over, but I didn't think he'd go this far. I mean, he is Chuck Bass, that's what he does, but… I guess I just wanted to believe he wouldn't do that to me. I wanted to believe that Jenny did it…because anything else would hurt too much." Blair couldn't stop the tears from coming again.

"Blair…." Serena said, still aghast… and worried. Was Blair going to make it through this latest betrayal?

"He promised me S," Blair said through her tears. "He promised he wouldn't hurt me ever again. Why did I believe him? And why does this hurt so much? Can't you just make it stop?"

Serena wrapped her arms around her. "I'm so sorry, B." She knew something bad was going to happen. She really wished it hadn't been this. She wished she was still at dinner so she could go across the table and hit that self-absorbed ass.

But doing that wasn't going to make Blair better. She had been hurt too many times by every single person she cared about. Hitting Chuck wouldn't fix anything. It wouldn't undo the harm he'd caused her reputation, it wouldn't change the fact that Serena and Nate had slept together, it wouldn't bring her father back home, and it wouldn't make her mother stop traveling so much.

"How about a hot bath?" Serena asked. Maybe the water would help to relax Blair. "Have you brushed your teeth yet?"

Blair nodded. She pulled away and turned to start the faucet on the tub herself.

Serena went to the cabinet and took out some bath balls.

"I'll get you a nightie, go ahead and get started," Serena said before leaving the bathroom.

"Will she be okay?" Elise said worriedly, hoping up off the freshly cleared and made bed.

"I hope so," Serena said as she briskly went through a few drawers before finding a comfortable nightgown.

"I hope so…"

* * *

"But… he'll _kill_ me if he ever found out," Jenny said. She really liked this idea, but she didn't know if she could really do it.

"So… make him think someone else did it," Vanessa said.

"How?" Jenny asked, her mind racing.

"Well… when did he go out with Blair?" Vanessa asked.

"Around Thanksgiving," Jenny replied.

"So… what about Christmas?" Vanessa wondered.

"Nate went with him to Monaco," Jenny said.

"Really…" Vanessa said, pondering. "Then I have the perfect idea, plus a way to protect Blair from more rumors while at the same time making Chuck think Blair was the one behind this." She didn't really want to hurt Blair. It wasn't that she liked her per se, but she knew Blair was getting a raw deal with Chuck. She didn't want to hurt Blair's reputation more than she already knew it was—Dan had told her everything. She still didn't believe that Jenny was behind it all, but she had never been able to convince Dan differently.

"Do tell…. But do you really think he'll believe it was her?" Jenny asked. She could care less if more rumors were going around about Blair. She hated her. But she also would rather Chuck blame Blair than her.

"Well, even if he doesn't… he'll always wonder. And how would he trace it back to you anyway? At the most, he could trace it to me," Vanessa said. She didn't really care what Chuck Bass thought. She didn't go to school with him, he couldn't hurt her.

"Well… if you're sure…" Jenny said, a large smiling starting to spread across her face.

"I am…"

* * *

Blair finished with her bath and towel dried slowly before slipping into the gown Serena had found for her.

She went out to her room, still feeling numb. Serena pulled down the comforter and Blair got in. She wanted to forget, if only for a little while, everything she had just learned.

"Well, I guess I'll be going…" Elise finally said hesitantly. She was still very confused by everything and she was starting to feel like a third wheel.

Blair turned her head toward her, "No. You don't have to leave. Will you stay? Tell me about the puppy?"

Elise nodded hesitantly before walking over to the bed. Blair scooted over and patted the bed. Elise sat down. Serena was a little surprised that Blair had asked Elise to stay, but she was definitely not going to argue with her or question her. Serena went to the other side of the bed and settled in next to Blair to listen to the story.

"Well, we also have two cats and they don't want to have anything to do with the new puppy," Elise began. "But he, we call him Baxter, just loves to play. And he keeps wanting to play with them. Every time he goes to play though, they bare their claws and take a swing at him. That was last week. So _now_ Baxter goes to play with them and before they can even start to swing, he turns around and shakes his butt at them, waiting for them to smack him on the butt because he thinks it's a game."

Blair smiled. Serena did too.

"Smack that puppy," Serena quipped.

Elise giggled. Then she started telling more Baxter anecdotes.

Blair kept on listening, using Elise's stories to forget… and glad that Elise was still there with her. Elise was the only person she had who had never hurt her. She really was starting to care about this little freshman.

But somewhere in the back of her mind she kept thinking that nothing lasted forever… or more than a week apparently—as far as her and Chuck were concerned. It was probably only a matter of time before Elise joined in with everyone else in a little game she was beginning to call "who can hurt Blair the most?"

Chuck was definitely in the lead.

* * *

**Valentine's Day**

**Thursday, February 14****th****. 8:30 am. 1**_ day until the Sweetheart Gala_

Chuck was waiting, almost impatiently, in the courtyard. He had the box in his pocket. He kept reaching his hand into that pocket to feel the small box.

It was only a matter of time before the ring would be on her finger.

_This_ was the piece he had saved for Valentine's Day. The necklace, the earrings: he would give those to her in time since he couldn't give them to her earlier this week, but the ring… that was definitely hers today.

The pink diamond was absolutely perfect.

And it would look perfect on her.

He was too busy waiting for Blair to notice that people were giving him weird looks. If he had taken the time to notice he might have been better prepared, but he hadn't noticed.

Finally Blair came walking through the gates with Serena close to her.

Chuck hoped Serena would go away while he did this. He started toward them.

They were walking quickly toward the stairs. They didn't stop when they noticed Chuck had fallen into step next to them.

He looked confused that they weren't stopping. Serena was on his side. He said, "Blair?" He tried to walk around Serena, still not realizing something was wrong.

Serena pushed him to the side and got in his face as Blair kept walking toward the stairs.

He saw her walking away and couldn't comprehend what had happened. Maybe she had changed her mind, but why was Serena in his face? Why didn't Blair just call him and tell him she wanted to wait for Friday instead?

"Stay away from her," Serena ground out through clenched teeth. With that, she followed after Blair up the stairs.

Chuck looked around, trying to understand what the hell had just happened. He took out his phone, about to send a text message to Blair to ask her what was going on. Then he realized he had a missed message from Gossip Girl.

He looked around and finally saw the weird looks. He realized no one had come up to talk to him that morning, he just hadn't realized because he was too busy waiting for Blair. He wondered why some of the looks were ones of disgust.

Then he read the message.

_What the fucking hell?_

* * *

**Ah, Valentine's Day. The day of love. While you all scamper to find a date to give you fluffy bears, gooey chocolates, flowers, and maybe even champagne, I'm scampering to give your gossip loving hearts a flutter. **

**We all know that we get a little alone time with our honey today, but we should all keep in mind the many dangers that could be hiding right around the corner. C is ahead of the curve this year. He has taken it upon himself to show his utmost sympathy by creating a new charity for teens with herpes. Did C decide to do this out of the goodness of his heart? Or does he sympathize a little too much? Did C bring back a little souvenir with him from Monaco? Get a little extra special Christmas gift? It's a good thing B dumped him before then. That's one royal pain that B would definitely not want. True or not, I don't think **_**I'm**_** going to want to be around him. And who am I? That's a secret I'll never tell. You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl.**

* * *

_To be continued…_


	20. Chapter 19

**REMINDER! REMINDER! REMINDER!**

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about the new episodes due to begin April 21st. Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

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**Thursday, February 14****th****. 1 **_day to the Sweetheart Gala_

Chuck read the message again, still trying to comprehend what the hell it was talking about.

Then he laughed. It was loud and boisterous and carried throughout the courtyard.

Everyone who hadn't made it to class yet looked at him. He couldn't help the laughter though. The entire idea was so preposterous, especially since it wasn't true.

He looked up at everyone surrounding him and just smiled with amusement. Most of them started to get confused and were beginning to wonder if Gossip Girl had gotten something wrong once again.

Then he paid them no mind as he looked at the top of the stairs where Blair and Serena had just disappeared to.

_Blair didn't really believe that this was true, did she?_ he thought. Was that why she had walked past him? And even if she didn't think it was true, maybe she didn't want to make today the day they announced everything.

Even as he started to send her a text, he realized that she really _might_ think it was true considering that he kept putting off sex all week. But, _please_, he was always careful of things like that. Heck, he was the one who warned the guys during Ivy weekend about which pot of gold to dip into. He was not about to get some stupid STD from a French whore, no matter how much he had to drink.

**u dont really believe that, do u?**

He started to head toward class because the warning bell had already rung but he was holding his cell in his hand, anxious for her response. He would fix this blow to his reputation, and do it very quickly before she decided it wouldn't be such a good idea to go to the gala together. She was starting to repair her _own_ reputation and probably wouldn't want to cause any more problems by going with him.

Then she responded.

**only 1 question: how did J know I slept w both of u in the same week?**

He came to a dead stop in the middle of the hallway. Someone crashed into him, but he just jerked away, not paying any attention. Guys kept walking around him, giving him cursory glances, some were making a wide path around him—which would have been humorous to him if he was paying attention.

But he wasn't paying attention.

She knew the truth. She knew he was the one that tipped off Gossip Girl. That was why she walked past him this morning. That was why she hadn't said anything to him. That was why Serena had left dinner early last night. That was why Serena had gotten in his face.

_Shit._

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Melissa and the rest of the girls were making their way across the street on their way to class because they knew the warning bell would ring soon.

They were in a very jovial mood because of Gossip Girl's latest post about the great Chuck Bass and his little problem.

Melissa was laughing at something Jenny said when she caught sight of Matt. He was looking toward the top of the girls' stairs staring at something.

The girls were busy making a wide path around Chuck who was standing still checking out something on his phone. Melissa followed them, but was hardly paying attention to where they were going because she had just followed Matt's gaze and realized he was watching Blair.

Her stomach contracted and she felt her face turning red. A mixture between pain, jealousy, and embarrassment flooded through her. Why was Matt watching Blair Waldorf? Did he like her? But he had talked to _her_ yesterday. He put his arm around her. They had slept together. Shouldn't he be looking for _her_, not Blair?

She somehow managed to follow the girls up the stairs, but if anyone asked her how she pulled off that feat, she wouldn't be able to tell them.

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Serena breathed a sigh as she and Blair made it to homeroom and settled down for the day to begin.

The night hadn't been easy.

Blair could only listen to so many stories before the shock started to wear off and she began crying. Serena had tried to get Elise to leave because she knew Blair wouldn't want anyone to see her cry, but for some reason Blair still didn't want Elise to leave.

Elise had ended up staying the night. Elise had also ended up learning a little too much about Blair and Chuck's messed up _relationship_—if it could be called that.

Blair didn't seem concerned by that though, so Serena had just let it go and tried her best to comfort Blair.

When Blair had finally fallen asleep, Serena had a chance to get to know Elise a little better and realized that the girl really cared about Blair. Elise still had no clue about Blair's little problem, but she understood a little more now why Jenny had said Chuck wasn't a good guy.

Serena widened her eyes when she realized she had forgotten to do something last night.

She forgot to call Dan and tell him that Jenny wasn't responsible. How could she have forgotten? She knew how much the situation had hurt Jenny and Dan's relationship. She needed to tell him now.

**Happy Valentines Day!**

She hadn't even remembered to tell him that.

**Happy Valentine's Day. I love you.**

She smiled. He was so sweet. She loved him so much. Then her smile faded as she typed out the rest.

**I love you too. and… J didn't tip off GG about B. It was C.**

Dan was in homeroom when he got the texts from Serena. Upon reading her second one, he couldn't help but feel an enormous amount of guilt. He knew that Jenny had always depended on him to be there for her, to believe her, to trust her, and he hadn't. He had felt like he didn't know his own sister anymore…and he forgot the part where he was Jenny's best friend for so long too, not just her brother.

**Are you sure?**

He couldn't help but ask Serena that question. He had thought the same thing as she—that there was no way Chuck could have done it because of Blair's potential pregnancy and because it would destroy his relationship with Nate.

**yes. B found out last night.**

Dan dropped his head on his desk with a thud. _Great._

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**Thursday, February 14****th****. 12:00noon. 1 **_day to the Sweetheart Gala_

It was lunch time and the cafeteria was currently experiencing an influx of students considering that it had not only become unbearably cold outside, it was also snowing slightly. It wasn't lying yet, but it was enough to make everything—including the Met steps—wet.

Since none of the most popular girls wanted to walk around with wet pants all day, they opted to sit at the best placed table in the cafeteria—the one that was the center of attention—even if they had to make people move to do it.

Not that they cared. It was expected that the people sitting there would move.

The girls settled in and Hazel began talking about who she was going to get to dance with her at the Gala. A lot of the Constance girls didn't have dates, the same for the St. Jude boys. They were planning on going and having fun dancing with numerous partners—not everyone had a boyfriend or girlfriend of course.

Jenny just tuned Hazel out. She was trying to work on an essay for her English class but her mind kept wondering. She was so giddy about the possibility of Nate doing something for Valentine's Day—like maybe even "revealing" himself. She figured she should at least get another card. She hadn't gotten one since the one that her brother damaged, but shouldn't a secret admirer make _some_ sort of contact on Valentine's Day of all days?

Her attention was dragged back to Hazel's conversation when she mentioned Nate.

"Those other boys are definitely hot, but Nate, he is the best. I _will_ get a dance with him before the night is over," Hazel said with a smirk. She gave Jenny a look that barely disguised her anger over the previous message from Gossip Girl about the possibility of "love" being in the air between Little J and Nate.

Jenny was too giddy to let Hazel's look bother her. She had already faced some of Hazel's subtle displeasure. Hazel hadn't come right out and said anything about it, but Jenny had felt it. She had also explained to the girls that she and Nate were friends and were just having a conversation. She had insisted that nothing was going on. She wanted to stop any rumors from spreading until Nate finally came forward to be with her.

That had seemed to subdue Hazel, but it didn't stop her nasty looks every once in a while—especially when the subject of Nate came up.

"Good luck with that," Isabel said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hazel almost snapped.

Is looked hesitant, like she just realized she had said something wrong. "N-nothing. I just mean, good luck!" Is said it as if she wanted nothing more than for Nate to dance with Hazel. She decided it probably wouldn't be a good idea to mention that the other two times Hazel tried to hook up with Nate, he shot her down.

"Right," Hazel said, rolling her eyes.

Melissa had been sitting quietly, trying to pretend interest in the conversation but her attention—and her stomach—hadn't been quite right since she had spotted Matt eyeing Blair that morning.

Then she spotted the object of her current hatred making her way toward the cafeteria exit. She couldn't help herself.

"Watch this," she said with devilish glee to the rest of the table before she got up and walked briskly toward Blair.

Hazel grinned and followed.

Kati and Is stayed where they were seated. They didn't want to be a part of any more scenes against Blair. They had released the information about Nate being the one who cheated because they wanted to be friends with Blair again. Helping to embarrass her was not going to win them any brownie points when Blair did get her crown back. And they just _knew_ she would.

It was also easier for Kati and Is to stay seated without looking suspicious because Jenny hadn't moved either.

While Hazel was snapping at Isabel, Jenny received a text message from her brother.

**Do u have time to talk right now?**

**i'm busy. **

**How about after school?**

**don't u have sumthin planned w S?**

**i'll meet up with her later. i really need to talk to u.**

Jenny didn't know what her brother could possibly have to talk to her about. She was still angry at him for not believing her. She felt like she had lost her best friend. But Dan had said the other day that he would be there for her even if he didn't believe her. Maybe she could try to convince him one more time…. oh, who was she kidding? If she hadn't been able to convince him after a month, she wouldn't be able to convince him now.

**i'm busy after school.**

**Fine. I'll see you at home tonight.**

**unfortunately.**

She snapped her phone shut after the last message. Then she realized Hazel and Melissa had left the table and were going after Blair. She leaned back in her seat, thinking about following, but decided to just watch and see what would happen. Kati and Is hadn't gotten up either so it obviously didn't need to be a group effort.

Some of the students around the cafeteria were taking notice of Hazel and Melissa's destination and were _very_ interested in seeing this confrontation. Blair was being shunned. That was the official ruling. If H and M were deigning to speak to her, it wasn't going to be pretty.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Blair didn't know why she had decided to go to the cafeteria. She was dragging a little today even though she put on a brave face and tried to hide all she was feeling from the world. She should have just gone to the library and forgotten about lunch. Serena hadn't been able to join her because she needed to meet with a teacher during lunch today—_today of all days,_ Blair thought sarcastically.

Chuck hasn't sent her another message after she had all-but told him that she knew the truth. Something told her that wasn't going to be the last she heard from him. But that same something hadn't thought he'd attempt to seek her out at school.

She had just settled down with her books and taken out her grapes when she spotted him.

He was standing at the entrance from the boys' side.

As soon as her eyes met his, he jerked his head to the side to indicate that he wanted her to follow him, presumably to talk.

She glared, popped a grape in her mouth, and then pretended fascination in her Chemistry textbook.

Then she happened to glance up under her eyelashes to make sure he was gone. Instead of gone, he was walking toward her table.

Panic flooded through her and she hopped to her feet, tossed her book in her bag and left the bag of grapes on the table as she walked quickly toward the girls' exit.

She didn't want to talk to him. She wasn't ready. She knew that she might end up in tears and she would be damned before she showed him, or the world, those waterworks. But she was also working hard at rebuilding her reputation and being spotted talking to the guy who was just out-ed that very morning for having a sexually transmitted disease would only hinder the building process.

She was almost to the exit when she felt a presence behind her. She cringed, praying that it wasn't Chuck causing a scene.

"Why, if it isn't little miss former queen herself," Melissa said snottily.

Blair almost breathed a sigh of relief before turning around and glaring at the two girls who were standing across from her.

"Melissa, Hazel," Blair said with a smirk and a nod. "Aw, how sweet. Neither of you have Valentine's and so you decided to ask me? No need to fight girls. I don't want either of you."

"Well, duh, we don't have the necessary parts," Hazel said, looking heavenward. "We heard you have a special _secret _date to the Gala. By any chance, did you ever call any of those guys on that list I gave you? Is that where you got your date? And what about today? I'm sure one… or two of them could make you a lot less lonely today _and_ tomorrow."

Blair opened her mouth to respond but Melissa beat her to the next line.

Melissa was ticked that Hazel had started in on Blair before she got the chance too… plus her anger was starting to burn hotter as she thought about Matt. Thus, she didn't give the greatest comeback, proving that some people should just keep their mouths shut when they were angry if they didn't want to look like an idiot.

"Or even three? Not that you'd mind, you're nothing but a slut," Melissa spat the words at her.

Blair spotted Chuck out of the corner of her eye just then. He wasn't close enough to hear the conversation but he knew something was up. The anger she felt toward him mixed with the anger she felt toward these bitches for having the nerve to speak to her this way. If they had attempted this stuff earlier in the day or if Chuck wasn't there, Blair might have ended up with a repeat of the last time these girls had publicly humiliated her—but not today. Today the true bitch that was Blair Waldorf wasn't going to be shot down in embarrassment.

"So, what does that make you," Blair asked with a malicious grin, staring at Melissa. "I mean, considering that you try so hard to be like me."

"That was before we all found out what you do for recreation," Melissa snapped back.

"Oh really," Blair said with a haughty laugh, not letting anything phase her, "Then why do you _still_ dress like me?"

Some of the students who were nearby listening to the conversation gave a small snort of laughter at that. There was no way to dispute it. Guys and gals alike knew that Blair Waldorf had started the headband trend. They also knew that outfits and accessories weren't the only things that people copied off of Blair.

"You're like some weird… clone," Blair said flippantly.

Some of the students covered their mouths, trying not to laugh out loud.

Now that Blair mentioned it, they were noticing that Melissa _did_ have her long brown hair lying down around her shoulders with a neat wide headband on her head. She was _also_ wearing ruby red lipstick. It wasn't helping Melissa's cause that Blair had her hair down in the exact same way. Blair was also wearing the exact same shade of lipstick. _Plus_, everything looked a lot better on Blair. Blair's hair bounced and glowed, her lips were firm and supple and glistening. Melissa's hair was looking a little dry and the color had faded slightly on her thin lips.

Melissa opened her mouth to respond but she wasn't sure what to say now because the tide was turning. Students were laughing _with_ Blair _at_ Melissa. She rushed to think of something to say.

Hazel was fuming at Melissa for making this even worse by resorting to calling Blair a slut—name-throwing wasn't going to get to Blair. She needed to be cleverer if she wanted to put down Blair, even Hazel knew that. Hazel couldn't figure out how to fix the mess Melissa had found herself in the middle of. All Hazel knew was that Melissa had better think fast because if the students witnessed Blair winning a verbal battle against one of the most popular girls, Blair would definitely win popularity points. Hazel had warned Melissa about this.

Then Blair made it worse.

"Unfortunately," Blair said, pretending to sound sad, "a copy is nothing compared to the real thing."

"You think too highly of yourself," Hazel scoffed. "Not everyone wants to be like you Blair, in fact, _nobody_ wants to be like you."

"Ah, Hazel," Blair said with an amused shake of her head, "When _will_ you learn? Especially, when will you learn how to rule your little group? Rumor has it that you're the one to fear now, but let me ask you something…," Blair walked closer to Hazel, leaning toward her. "Why is it that I'm not cowering in your presence? Why is it that other students have actually been talking to me and not following your dictates? Why is it that half of your group is still sitting at your table? Why aren't they here backing you up? Having some problems keeping things together Hazel?"

Hazel sputtered but she couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Feeling slightly inadequate, H?" Blair taunted.

"You're still a slut!" Hazel finally yelled at Blair. She was red faced and pissed and said the first thing that came to mind—effectively ruining any possibility of winning this argument and showing that she was about as big an idiot as Melissa.

"Now, now," Blair said, laughing slightly. "No need for name calling. That _is_ so third grade, don't you think?"

The students around started snickering with laughter again. Hazel and Melissa had just gotten _owned_. They loved it and wanted more, but Blair was finished. She was done with the two idiots, though they had certainly served a purpose in helping _her_ look good.

"Good catching up," Blair said with a devilish grin before turning and walking away.

She didn't look at Chuck again throughout her entire speech so she didn't know if he had stayed until the end.

She didn't really care either way.

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Elise had seen the exchange and was a little worried about Blair at first, but even from the distance that she was standing, even though she couldn't hear the words, she knew that Blair definitely had the upper hand in the little encounter.

After Blair left, Hazel and Melissa turned to walk back to their table with red faces.

Elise scampered back and rushed to get out of the way. In her rush, she backed into a chair, causing the person sitting there to lurch forward and knock her drink all over her notebook.

Jenny stood up with a squeal, trying to get out of the way before the drink made its way to her skirt—she didn't succeed.

"Elise!" Jenny yelled. "You stupid clutz! Can't you do anything right? Like walk?"

"Jenny!" Elise said contritely, "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to!" She grabbed some napkins from in front of Kati and tried to blot up the mess. She was going to need a lot more napkins.

"You better be sorry," Jenny snapped as she too grabbed some napkins and wiped at the wet stain on her skirt. "Maybe if you laid off the junk food your hips wouldn't be banging into things."

Elise stuttered, "I-I-I'm sorry." She looked down, feeling like a cow. She had never thought of herself as having a weight problem, but maybe her hips were a little too wide. Blair _had_ said that pizza was evil. Maybe she should eat more salad and yogurt like all the other girls did.

"Well?" Jenny said expectantly. "What are you waiting for? Get more napkins. This mess isn't just going to clean itself up!"

Elise turned to do her bidding. She saw a few people at other tables looking at her with amusement. She cringed when she thought of other people laughing at her and her big hips.

She got the napkins and cleaned up the mess as quickly and quietly as possible.

As she finished and left the cafeteria, she couldn't help but feel better about the role she was playing to help Blair take down Jenny. Jenny definitely wasn't a nice person.

She was just going to help other people see that.

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**Thursday, February 14****th****. 2:45pm. 1 **_day to the Sweetheart Gala_

Chuck wasn't going to let her get away this time.

He needed to talk to Blair. If he could have, he would have gone straight into Constance and found Blair during first period. But he knew it would just be another scene that she would despise.

He tried to talk to her at lunch too, but she ran away before he could reach her.

He saw Hazel and Melissa come up to her and had started to back off. Then he realized what he was witnessing. It was the first time he had bared witness to what Blair had gone through. He wondered if this was something she had to go through every day.

He couldn't hear a word that had transpired, but he couldn't help feeling proud when she obviously put those two hussies in their place and left the victor. He wanted to find out what had gone down so he eavesdropped on some of the tables closest to the action. Normally he would just ask, but people had been acting weird around him all day.

Sure, people had noticed him laughing over Gossip Girls' text that morning. And they also noticed that he didn't seem to care about it. But that didn't mean they didn't wonder if it was true. Some of his boys had even acted weird around him. He attempted to settle things with them, but they were still keeping their distance. He even heard about some guy not wanting to sit in the same seat that Chuck sat in during class.

It was completely ludicrous. Just because he sat in a seat in his first period class, some idiot didn't want to sit in it for his second period class.

Chuck had been amused by everything at first, but he was getting more and more ticked as the day went by. Where the hell had this rumor come from? It didn't help matters that Gossip Girl had posted a link on her blog that went straight to a website about this mysterious "grant", and there was his name—plain as day. _And_ it was a DOTgov website, so it wasn't something that could've just been made for a prank.

Chuck hadn't managed to settle the blow to his reputation as smoothly as he would like.

Right now, however, that was the furthest thing from his mind.

"Blair!" Chuck said, walking up behind her before she left through the school gates. He reached out to touch her arm.

Blair spun around and flung her arm away from him. Serena was with her and she turned around to glare too.

"Talk to me," Chuck insisted.

"I have nothing to say to you," Blair said without any emotion, her face completely blank. She started to turn away, but Chuck reached out to stop her once again.

"Blair," Chuck began.

Her eyes turned to a hard glare.

"Total social destruction," Blair deadpanned. "See how _you_ like it."

Chuck's mouth dropped open and all he could do for the moment was watch Blair and Serena turn their backs on him.

This time when he went after her he grabbed her arm a little more forcefully.

"Did you do this?" he said between clenched teeth.

"Oh, you mean tell the world about your little _problem_?" Blair said with amusement.

Chuck let go of her arm, his eyes were growing hard as he started to connect the dots.

"Well, bravo on protecting yourself by claiming I got it in Monaco. Of course the fact that it's not true should've been protection enough," Chuck said with disgust.

"Oh, please," Blair said sarcastically. "I didn't do it…only because I didn't think of it first, of course. Besides, if I had done it, _you_ would know," Blair finished dangerously, her eyes flashing. She enunciated the 'you' to point out that _she_ hadn't known what he'd done.

"Blair…" Chuck was relieved. He knew Blair was telling the truth. But he also winced at her pointing out the difference. He really thought she had known.

"Just leave me alone!" Blair snapped. "I've had enough of you."

She turned and walked away, quickly now. Chuck started to go after her again but Serena, who had been standing idly by waiting for the exchange to end, decided that enough was enough. She planted herself in front of Chuck.

"Something clogging your ears?" Serena asked spitefully. "Back off. You've done enough."

Chuck glared at her but knew he wasn't going to be able to get a hold of Blair again just now. Serena was in protective mode and she wasn't going to let him near Blair.

So he would back down for the moment, but he wasn't going to just let Blair go without a fight.

He couldn't.

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Apparently people have a tendency to notice a lot of things if they only pay attention.

Matt was discovering that tendency to notice ever since he started having this little problem where he couldn't get Blair Waldorf out of his head.

He had watched Blair in the courtyard that morning. He saw when Chuck Bass walked up to Serena and Blair. It looked like Chuck was trying to talk to Blair but she wasn't interested. He smirked when he saw Serena speaking angrily to Chuck.

He had already seen Gossip Girls' latest blog. He was amused and slightly uncomfortable—he couldn't help but think about the pictures of the stupid cauliflower shaped blisters that a health class had forced the students to look at when they were teaching about the dangers of unprotected sex.

Needless to say, he was relieved that the blog indicated that Blair hadn't fallen victim to Chuck's little problem.

He hadn't seen much of Nate that day, though he didn't usually, but whenever he did see the 'golden boy', Nate had an angry look for him. He still wasn't sure why he'd attacked Nate; something about the guy just pissed him off. He knew he'd gotten a direct hit with his words. He still grinned when he remembered the look on Nate's face before he tried to come after him. Matt wondered if Nate might try something else once he got him alone. Matt was really itching to put a fist in his face.

All through the school day, Matt had seen the wide path that people left around Chuck. He couldn't help but laugh when he heard about the 'homeroom' seat incident.

He'd spent lunch outside. It had been cold and damp, but him and some of his friends needed to get a puff break in before returning to class. After lunch he'd heard a lot of talk about the bitch-fight between Blair, Melissa, and Hazel. It kind of turned him on to think about it. He wished he'd gotten the chance to see it. Apparently Blair had put the other two in their place rather firmly. For some reason, that just made him grin even more.

After school, he hung around outside hoping for another look at Blair. The snow had ended before school let out, but it did leave a layer on the ground. At least he wasn't standing around looking like an idiot with snow flakes falling on his head.

When he finally saw her, he was surprised Chuck followed her. It was very curious considering that things were supposed to be over between the two. Why was Chuck trying to talk to Blair?

He followed inconspicuously. Neither of them were paying any attention to the people around them so Matt managed to hear their entire conversation.

He learned a few things. First, Chuck didn't have herpes, and while Matt could care less what Chuck did or didn't have, the herpes thing would have definitely left a sour taste in his mouth when it came to the second thing he learned. Second, it seemed like things might not have been as over for Chuck and Blair as they would want the world—or the schools—to think.

And while he found the first two things very interesting, the third thing he learned was the real kicker. Matt was jealous.

It was very foreign, and it was definitely unfounded. Matt had grown up with Blair just like he'd grown up with most of the people he went to school with. Matt had never once noticed Blair before he found out about her little affair with Chuck. And he still didn't think much of her until his party last week.

He'd been frustrated when Serena managed to get Blair away from him and lose him in the dance floor crowd. Though he couldn't help but be even more interested.

In retrospect, that was probably why he'd slept with Melissa. Sure, he remembered that it was her that he was with that night. But he also knew that she had a thing for him. He didn't want her to go all possessive on him. He shouldn't have slept with her… he knew that the reason was that she looked so much like Blair—the same Blair whom he had wanted to take home that night.

But the jealousy stuff didn't matter anymore. Whatever had been going on between Blair and Chuck was definitely over by the sound of that conversation.

He couldn't be more pleased.

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"Go, Serena," Blair commanded.

"Are you sure?" Serena couldn't help but ask for what seemed like the millionth time. They were at Blair's penthouse. They had just arrived from school. Serena had wanted to escort Blair home personally. She told Dan she'd meet him at The Palace.

"Serena!" Blair said, exasperated. "It's Valentine's Day! Go be with your valentine."

"But I don't want to leave you…" Serena said. She was worried about Blair. Blair seemed to be better than she was last night but it could be an act. Blair had gotten a lot better at hiding things. Serena hadn't even known that Blair was throwing up again for what had to be two _months_ before she finally caught her.

What scared her most right now was leaving Blair. She didn't mind missing her first Valentine's Day with Dan if it meant protecting Blair. What were best friends for? She could just invite Dan over here. He wouldn't mind. He would understand.

"I'm not saying it again," Blair sighed. "I'm fine. I'll be fine. You should be with the one you love today of all days. If I start to feel like I might have a 'problem,'" Blair made air quotes around the word 'problem,' "I'll call you, okay?"

Serena stayed still for a few moments as she stared at Blair, trying to figure out what was going on in that head of hers. "You promise?" she finally asked softly.

"Yes, I will call you immediately," Blair promised.

"Then… I guess… I'll go," Serena said a little uncertainly.

"Good!" Blair said with false cheer. "Have fun."

"Yeah," Serena said with a small nod.

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Jenny made her way up the stairs of her building to the loft. She was struggling with some boxes of decorations that she had to take home. All the girls were going to work on the bouquets. They had decided to go with the pink roses like Hannah suggested, but there would be so many arrangements placed throughout the room that they each had to take a box home—only the girls without Valentine's were working on it of course.

She knew that she had gotten her hopes up a little too far about Nate saying anything to her today. He hadn't said anything. In fact, he didn't even look at her. He seemed to have something on his mind, distracted—as per usual.

The fact that he hadn't said anything to her and that she hadn't received anything for Valentine's Day was making her feel very left out.

And that was a feeling she should be used to by now: being left out. How many times had she walked in on the tail-end of a conversation between her father and brother? She would ask them what they were talking about. Instead of responding, Dan would cough and leave the room. Or she'd get a simultaneous "nothing". She hated that. If girls did that at school, she'd think they were talking about her. It was just like the time she walked into the loft and overheard the conversation between Dad and Dan about Mom's affair. They both acted like nothing was wrong.

She missed her mother. Dad was great, but he wasn't a female. He wasn't a confidant. Dad tried but there was no way he could understand what she needed. So between the double dose of testosterone in the house, Jenny was feeling a little lost. It didn't help matters that Dan barely spoke to her anymore. But he wanted to talk to her today. She didn't know if that was good or not. She knew he wouldn't be back until late. Maybe she could try to be asleep by then?

She finally made it to her floor. She struggled to get her keys out and was almost to her door before her foot kicked something and she almost fell.

Startled, she looked down and saw a huge white box sitting there. There wasn't an address label anywhere on it. It must have been hand delivered.

Which could only mean…

She opened the loft door in five seconds flat. She walked around the box and dumped her school bag and the flower box on the kitchen counter. She grabbed the giant box from the hall, slammed the door shut, and raced for her room.

Dan was out with Serena and even Rufus had a date that evening with Bex. Rufus was still at the gallery and was planning on leaving from there.

Jenny was actually happy about their absence because she didn't want to have to explain the box to anyone.

She tore it open. There was tissue paper across the top and under the paper was the most beautiful pink dress she had ever seen.

She slowly brought it out of the box. All she could do was stare in wonder.

It looked like the dress Hilary Duff wore in A Cinderella Story except it was light pink. It was absolutely gorgeous.

She didn't understand at first so she looked around the box for a note.

She found a little folded card. Instead of the usual letter that came from her secret admirer, this just gave instructions with no signature.

**Tomorrow's the night. 8:30pm. I'll find you on the dance floor. Wear this.**

She sighed deeply before sweeping over to her mirror. She held the dress up against her. She didn't know how Nate had found out what size she wore, and she didn't care.

Nate Archibald was _finally_ going to announce to everyone that he wanted to be with _her_.

She hung the dress up before walking over to move the box to discard the evidence. As she lifted the box, she noticed that something else was in there too.

As she brought out the last item, she gasped and giggled with excitement.

She absolutely could not wait for the dance tomorrow night! She was going to be the best dressed at the ball _and_ have the most handsome boy at St. Jude's on her arm!

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**Thursday, February 14****th****. 4:00pm. 1 **_day to the Sweetheart Gala_

_I got my sights set on you and I'm ready to aim  
I have a heart that will never be tamed_

Serena flew by Dan, laughing as he seemed to be on the verge of losing his balance.

"Very funny," he said, stretching his arms out as he tried to maintain his upright position.

_I knew you were something special  
When you spoke my name_

Serena skated up next to him.

"This was your idea," she grinned. "I figured it was something you did a lot."

"Not really," Dan said sheepishly.

_Now I can't wait to see you again_

Serena grabbed his arm. "C'mon, let me guide you," she said impishly.

_I've got a way of knowing when something is right  
I feel like I must have known you in another life_

Dan nodded and followed her.

_Cause I felt this deep connection when you looked in my eyes  
Now I can't wait to see you again_

He had no idea why he decided roller skating would be a good idea. He hadn't done it in about three years. He just wanted to do something different and he knew that one of Serena's favorite places was Chelsea Piers which had ice skating, golf, wall climbing, and bowling amongst other things. Of the four, he figured he could try the skates without the ice—and bowling wasn't always that romantic.

_The last time I freaked out  
I just kept looking down  
I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinking about_

So he'd found a roller rink: _the_ only year-round indoor rink near Manhattan. Roller Jam USA was located on Staten Island—the ferry ride was fun, as well as the railroad ride. It had taken a while to get there, but traveling was half the fun. Fortunately the rink was open. It was usually closed on Thursdays but it remained open this week for the holiday. (1)

_Felt like I couldn't breathe  
You asked what's wrong with me  
My best friend Leslie said "Oh she's just being Miley"_

They went around the track. Serena was laughing and moving her hips and free hand to the song. Only a roller rink would have bouncy pop songs from the youngest artist on the Billboard charts. She wondered if this rink still did the Electric Slide. Now, that would be a blast from the past!

_The next time we hang out  
I will redeem myself  
My heart it can't rest till then_

"This is so great!" Serena yelled over the music. She hadn't been roller skating since before…. The Roxy closed maybe? Not that she'd ever gone skating there. It seemed like almost all the rinks in New York City had closed before 2007.

"Glad you like it," Dan said. "I contemplated ice skating for half a second, but…"

Serena started laughing again. She already knew about his fear of the Ice Capades. _  
_

"Wheels seemed friendlier than blades," Dan finished. He looked over at Serena. He was starting to get the hang of this roller skating stuff. It was just like riding a bike.

_I can't wait to see you again_

"Uh huh," Serena said, grinning like she knew a secret.

"What?" Dan asked, confused.

"And your decision has nothing to do with the Ice Capades?" Serena asked.

_I got this crazy feeling, deep inside  
When you called and asked to see me tomorrow night  
_

"How did you…" Dan shook his head. "Jenny just loves talking about me doesn't she?"

_I'm not a mind reader but I'm reading the signs  
That you can't wait to see me again_

"What can you expect?" Serena laughed. "She's a little sister. It's what they do… I think." She didn't have a little sister, but she was sure Eric had told some embarrassing childhood story about her before… she just couldn't think of one right now.

"Well, after Cedric, I think she should be out of material," Dan said firmly.

"Are you sure?" she giggled before she let go of his hand and picked up speed, flying across the floor.

_The last time I freaked out  
I just kept looking down  
I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinking about  
_

"Hey!" Dan said, slightly chagrined that she might know something else embarrassing… but there wasn't anything else… was there?

_Felt like I couldn't breathe  
You asked what's wrong with me  
My best friend Leslie said "Oh she's just being Miley"  
_

He picked up speed too, racing after her.

_The next time we hang out  
I will redeem myself  
My heart it can't rest till then  
I can't wait to see you again_

Yep, just like riding a bike.

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Blair tried to figure out what to do with herself after Serena left. The first thing she did was ask Dorota to remove the flowers and teddy bears from the hall table. She didn't ever want to look at them again. She had forgotten to do something with them last night.

The rest of the chocolates had gone into the trash. Blair didn't want anymore, especially not after she got a load of what they tasted like coming back up. She shuddered. Nate had managed to upset her after she'd spent all afternoon eating those damn chocolates with Elise. That mixed with the pizza she'd eaten had created a disgusting blend for her purging session.

She still didn't know what to do with herself after that, so she joined Dorota in the kitchen. Dorota was preparing dinner and didn't mind the company—not that Blair cared if she did mind.

Dorota was in the middle of slicing some carrots for Blair as an after school snack when the elevator signaled a visitor.

Blair had been about to ask Dorota if she had any more of the little apple bran muffins that always accompanied her lunch but now she just sighed and told Dorota she'd see who it was.

She wasn't in the mood for company and something told her that she knew exactly who was there. She knew it was going to have to happen sooner or later. As much as she wished for later, she _was_ ready now.

"What do you want?" Blair asked tonelessly, tired of having to deal with him.

"Blair," Chuck said. "Look, I'm sorry. I thought you knew."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course you did. Never mind that I told you that I thought it was Jenny."

Chuck tilted his head to the side, "We had just made up. I didn't want—,"

"It doesn't matter, Chuck," Blair said tiredly. "Excuses, explanations, nothing matters."

"So, that's it?" Chuck asked. "Just going to give up? Because I can't."

"The minute you said anything to Gossip Girl you should have known there was no possibility of a future together," Blair said firmly.

"Look, I saw that thing at lunch," Chuck said. "I know how things must have been, but it's getting better."

Up until this point the fight had left Blair's body. She had seemed resigned to this conversation. She couldn't even summon up any viciousness for the fight. She just wanted to get this over with and have him gone. But then he brought up the current subject.

"You have _no_ idea," Blair snapped a little too loudly.

Chuck tried to walk closer to her, hoping to smooth things out.

"Stop," Blair ordered. He stopped. She stood glaring at Chuck now. Chuck stared back at her. He could tell she was about to finally show some emotion… he just wasn't prepared for what she said.

"You didn't want to _know_. I tried to tell you, but you just joked about it. It wasn't a laughing matter," Blair said, her voice was starting to clog with emotion. "You _don't_ know. Do you _know_ what it feels like to have your insides torn out in front of everyone? And everyone just keeps watching and laughing?"

Her voice started to rise even more, "Do you _know_ what it feels like to lose everything? My father left, my mother is never home, even my best friend disappeared. And then everything that I had left—Nate, my friends, my reputation—_you_ took it away. I didn't want to believe that you were responsible. I didn't think that you could do that to me after ev-erything," her voice hitched over the last word.

Chuck opened his mouth to respond, his stomach started to clench as the guilt raced through him.

"How _could_ you?" Blair exclaimed. Her eyes were starting to get glassy.

"Look, you're acting like I'm the only one who did the hurting here," Chuck finally said, trying to defend himself. "Remember? I saw you with him the night of the Cotillion. I had to walk up those stairs, trying to find you to explain, and see you with _him_. How do you think _I_ felt?"

"Nothing that I did to you could ever be as bad as what you did to me," Blair said incredulously. "You ruined my life! Here I just thought that _being_ with you was what ruined it. But no, it was _you_!"

Chuck was feeling very off-balanced and even a little shaky. It was a foreign feeling for him. He knew that if he didn't say the right thing here he was going to lose her. He didn't want to lose her.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Chuck apologized. "Everything's getting better now. People are talking to you; you're showing those stupid twits what it means to be a Waldorf. You'll get it all back."

Blair started to respond but Chuck interrupted _her_ this time. He took the small black box out of his pocket and walked closer to her.

"I wanted to give you this, this morning," Chuck said as he opened the box to reveal the ring. A simple marquise shaped pink diamond rested at the top of a silver band.

"Forgive me, Blair..." he hesitated, "please." He had actually said "please" twice in one week—a new record indeed.

Chuck cleared his throat. Blair just kept looking at the ring. She wasn't saying anything. He had no idea what she was thinking and it was putting him on edge.

Blair finally looked up at him. He held his breath, hoping she could get past this.

Then he saw the hard look returning to her eyes and, with sickening clarity, he knew he'd failed.

"What? You break it, you buy it?" she spat out the words. "The bracelet, the dinner, the bears, everything you've given me this week, you think _that_ would make this all better?"

"Yes," she nodded as she continued. "I _will_ get it all back. But you, that's one thing I don't want back."

"Blair," Chuck started.

"I can't believe I trusted you again," Blair said angrily. "I _knew_ you couldn't be trusted. I _knew_ you only cared about yourself. Fool me _twice_…" she shrugged off the old saying. He would know what she meant.

"I care, Waldorf," Chuck insisted. "I want to be with you."

Blair laughed with disbelief and sarcasm. She stopped and shook her head. "No, you don't. If you cared about me, you would have never done that _to_ me. You did it out of spite. You _knew_ how much it would hurt me. Once again, you did something for your own enjoyment. Well, I hope it was worth it."

"It wasn't," Chuck said. "It wasn't worth it and it wasn't… if I could, I'd take it back, but I can't."

"Like I said at the beginning of this conversation," Blair said. "It doesn't matter. Nothing matters.

"I don't want you in my life anymore," she finished.

Chuck let out a deep breath. His face was blank, completely hiding the fact that his _insides_ were being torn out. That's how she phrased it earlier, right? He knew from the look on her face that it was completely over. There wasn't anything he could do to fix this. She hated him. It was blatantly there for him to see.

So he closed the box in his hand and slid it into his pocket. He nodded his head before he turned and walked away. The elevator doors opened as soon as he pressed the button. He didn't even hesitate as he walked in. The doors closed.

He was numb.

And she was wrong.

He did _know_.

He knew exactly what it felt like to lose everything.

He just had.

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**Thursday, February 14****th****. 10:45pm. 1 **_day to the Sweetheart Gala_

Serena raced ahead of Dan. They were finishing up the night with a stroll to the Palace from the bus stop.

Serena was so pleased that she was finally able to let lose and relax so much in one evening. She had no worries about her mother, Eric, the Bass', or Blair. She just forgot about it all. She was sort of glad Blair _hadn't_ called. She had no idea Dan was going to take her to a place so far away and it wouldn't have been easy to get back quickly.

The snow from earlier was still on the ground and Serena was feeling impish. Hence, the reason she raced ahead of him.

He didn't know what her goal was. He saw her race around a corner and he decided to give chase. He wasn't expecting the snowball that landed square on his chest.

He paused and looked down. She started laughing. He was trying hard not to smile. She had been so carefree and happy all evening; he loved when she was happy.

But that didn't mean he wasn't going to get a little payback. He reached down to make his own snowball. She went running.

"Oh, no you don't," he laughed as he raced after her. He caught up to her and instead of throwing the ball at her, grabbed her with one arm and smacked soft snow right on top of her head.

She squealed as the snow ran down her neck. "That's so cold!"

"Well, yeah. It's snow?" Dan said mockingly. "Did you expect it to be hot?"

"I don't know," she said before spinning around and planting a hidden snowball on the top of _his_ head. "You tell me!" She went running again.

Dan stood still for a moment before shaking his head. "This means war!" He laughed before chasing after her.

They finally reached the Palace after a few more direct hits.

"So…" Serena said with a secretive smile. She was facing him, holding his hands, as she walked backward up the walkway.

"So?..." Dan said with a secretive smile too.

"You know," Serena began, "my mother is in Milan with Bart."

"Okay?..." Dan continued.

"So you should come up for a while," Serena said with a sexy smile.

Dan grinned and used her hands to drag her close against him for a kiss.

"I'd love to," Dan said in between kisses. Then he moved his head back. "But I can't."

"Aw," Serena said, feigning disappointment. "why?"

"I still have to talk to Jenny," Dan explained with a sigh.

Serena just gave him an understanding smile before wrapping her arms tight around him and resting her head on his shoulder.

"I love you," Serena whispered.

Dan pulled back and grinned, "I love you too." He gave her another kiss.

Serena relaxed against him. She didn't care if they stood out front of The Palace doing this all night. She had just finished having one of the best evenings ever and now she couldn't get enough of her Valentine.

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**Thursday, February 14****th****. 11:15pm. 1 **_day to the Sweetheart Gala_

"Jenny?" Dan called as he entered the loft. He knew his dad wouldn't be back until later so Jenny had been home by herself for a while.

He had picked up something for her on the way home. She _was_ his sister and he knew she wasn't seeing anyone and might be feeling a little left out today. He hoped it went a ways to letting her forgive him.

Jenny sighed at her desk. She had been ten minutes away from going to bed. She really didn't want to talk to Dan. But her room light was still on, so…. She sighed again.

"I'm in my room," Jenny called out.

Dan followed the sound of her voice to her room. He opened the door slightly.

"Can I come in?" he asked hesitantly.

"If you must," Jenny said with a roll of her eyes. Her head was still down as she finished writing out the answer to a math problem.

"I, uh, I got this for you," Dan said as he held out a giant red box of chocolates and walked further into the room.

Jenny turned and saw the gift. She couldn't help the small smile that came over her face.

"What's that for?" Jenny asked, still not reaching for the box.

Dan hesitated before walking to her desk and sitting the box down next to her books. "Valentine's Day… and… well… it's a peace offering too," Dan explained.

Jenny looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I am so sorry, Jen," Dan gushed out. He ran both hands quickly over his head before he actually crouched down next to her. "I know now that you weren't responsible. I never should have doubted your word. I hope you can forgive me. I should have been here for you and believed you no matter what and I didn't. I can't tell you _how_ sorry I am."

Her mouth dropped open in shock. This was what he wanted to talk to her about all day? But why hadn't he said anything sooner? She had to admit… the relief she was feeling was great. She had been so devastated to lose the close relationship with her brother over this. Her stomach had been in various knots… now it was starting to ease.

"How did you find out?" Jenny finally asked. She was going to forgive him, but she sort of wanted him to suffer a little more first.

"Serena told me. Blair found out who it really was last night," Dan explained. Jenny looked at him expectantly. Dan sighed, "It was Chuck."

"Can't say I'm surprised," Jenny said, letting out a breath.

"I don't know why we didn't see it sooner," Dan said, shaking his head. "We all know how Chuck is. We should have known."

"Well, at least he's getting a taste of his own medicine now," Jenny said with a little bit of bitterness.

Dan looked at her, his eyes squinting. He'd seen the Gossip Girl post about Chuck's little problem too. At the time, he'd just shook his head and figured the guy deserved it after all he'd done.

"I wonder who was behind that…" Dan trailed off. He wasn't going to accuse Jenny of anything again. He had a feeling though that she might have something to do with it considering her tone of voice just then.

Jenny sighed. "It was me. I made it up."

"…but why?" Dan asked, confused. He was relieved that Jenny hadn't done something so spiteful to Blair; but though Chuck deserved it, it was still a little harsh. He hoped Jenny had a good reason for doing it.

"Well…," Jenny looked away. "He found out I told Nate about him and Blair. He didn't take too kindly to the news."

Dan winced, "Is that why you've been weird all week?"

"Yeah…" Jenny confirmed.

"Why didn't you tell me about it?" Dan asked. "I could have helped."

"I had already found someone else to help," Jenny explained. Then she looked heavenward. "Of course that only made things worse. I know he's gunning for me. He's going to do something, I just don't know what. I decided to do something first." She figured she wouldn't mention Vanessa's part in it.

"But… _herpes?_" Dan asked. "That's not something that people forget so easily."

"Well, I guess he'll have some problems getting laid," Jenny said tartly.

Dan shook his head.

"So… do you want me to say something to him? Get him to back off?" Dan asked.

"Um… I don't know," Jenny said. "I guess if he tries something else?"

"Ok," Dan nodded. "So… am I forgiven?" She still hadn't responded to his apology.

"I'll think about it," Jenny said before turning back to her work.

Dan just nodded. He had time. She'd forgive him. She was his sister after all.

And the whole Chuck thing… he was eager to help Jenny in any way he could. He hated to admit that Chuck Bass worried him. He didn't scare him personality wise… but the money and power that backed it… now that scared him. He wasn't sure what Chuck could possibility do to Jenny.

But he knew one thing for sure. Dan was going to do everything humanly possible to protect his sister from that ass.

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_**Earlier that evening**_**, a few hours after Chuck left. 1 **_day to the Sweetheart Gala_

He wasn't good for her.

She had watched him leave.

After the doors closed, she decided she needed to go to her room. She had _really_ wanted to go straight back into the kitchen and abscond with those muffins. But she didn't want to do that anymore. She really didn't.

She didn't care if she really _was_ hungry. She knew that she wouldn't be able to keep anything down if she tried to eat.

Serena had been right all along. Blair needed to forget about them.

He wasn't good for her.

Everything she'd said to him kept running through her mind. It was all true. So true. She'd laid it all out for him. She made herself open enough to tell him everything. She didn't do it for the closeness it would bring this time. She did it because he was responsible for it all and she wanted him to know _exactly_ what his actions had done.

Except for one thing. She wouldn't tell him about the other thing that he'd done to her. She wouldn't tell him that everything he'd done to torture her had driven her to hurt herself over and over again.

He wasn't good for her.

She was glad he was gone.

She felt rung out. She felt like she was a dark void. She had felt this way at school when she was trying not to feel, when the shock was still running through her.

No matter what he'd said, no matter how many times he apologized… it still wouldn't change anything. He couldn't change. Even if she forgave him—which she would never be able to do—something else would happen. They would argue. She'd end up getting hurt, and she'd end up losing control.

He wasn't good for her.

She didn't want to think about him anymore.

She tried to turn her thoughts to anything else. She started thinking about the special delivery she'd sent to Jenny that afternoon. She'd paid a bicycling delivery service boy to drop off the package. She always made sure not to send anything through the postal mail for her latest scheme.

The boy didn't mind riding through the damp, snowy streets when she offered him a large tip.

Now that she knew Jenny wasn't responsible for her downfall, she still wasn't going to back down. Jenny had told Nate about Chuck. If Jenny had kept her mouth shut, Blair would have been able to talk to Nate. She would have denied everything, told him it was all a lie. He would have believed her. He would have stood united with her against the rest of the school. The rumors would die a quick death. Nobody would be the wiser.

But Jenny had talked. Jenny had told Nate.

Jenny was just as responsible as Chuck in her opinion.

The plan for the gala was definitely in motion. Nobody would forget _this_ dance—least of all little Jenny Humphrey.

Blair was lying on her bed, on her back. She was still thinking about how everything would go down tomorrow when she suddenly sat up straight.

"Crap," she said with loud frustration. "Crap, crap, crap!" She actually smacked the bed next to her.

She had told Hannah and those other girls that she had a date for the gala. The word had spread. Hazel had said something about her "secret date" in the cafeteria.

If she showed up without a date, she was done for. No amount of destroying Jenny would help her reputation if she looked like a fool by showing up all alone.

What the hell was she going to do? She flopped back on her bed and grabbed a pillow. She pulled it over her face and screamed into the cloth.

She was not going with Chuck, of course. She couldn't call Nate. Their argument hadn't ended well… plus, he was probably still reeling from the news that she had been seeing Chuck again.

Not to mention that she had decided not to have anything to do with either of them anymore.

She wanted to scream into her pillow again but got cut off by her cell phone ringing.

She didn't even look to see who it was. That would require moving the pillow.

She reached across the bed and snagged the phone.

"Hello?" she said sharply into the phone, bringing it up next to her ear under the pillow.

"Blair?" came a deep voice on the other line.

"Who is this?" She moved the pillow and sat up.

"Matt," the voice explained.

"Uh, hi?" Blair said, her voice showing her disdain. Why was Matt Cunningham calling her?

"So… what's up?" Matt asked.

"Is there a point to your call?" Blair asked. She wasn't in the mood for idle chit chat. She preferred that he got straight to the point.

"Well, yeah," Matt laughed.

"Go to the gala with me," he continued.

"Is that a question or an order?" Blair said. Meanwhile, her mind was racing. She didn't have many other options here. His call was perfectly timed… but that didn't mean she was going to say 'yes'. Matt _was_ one of the Upper East Side elite, which made him suitable as a date for the gala… but he wasn't to be trusted.

"Sorry," Mat said, laughing to cover up his blunder. "Will you go to the gala with me?"

"Why should I?" Blair asked.

"Because… we dance well together?" Matt said, stretching for an answer. This was harder than he thought it would be… scratch that, this was Blair Waldorf he was talking to. She didn't use to be Queen B for nothing.

"So I'll save you a dance," Blair said flippantly. "That doesn't mean I have to go with you."

Matt rushed for another reason and finally just decided to say some truth, "Well, I guess I'm sort of interested… in you."

Blair scoffed, "You don't even know me."

"No, but I'd like to," Matt said. He was impressed with himself for getting this far in the conversation.

"Look, I know all the gossip out there about me. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not going to sleep with you," Blair said, exasperated. "So, you can just forget—"

"Whoa, it's cool," Matt said quickly, interrupting her. Not that he didn't _want_ to sleep with her—because he did—but he didn't think she would be that easy. He was also looking forward to the look on Nate's face when he saw Matt with Blair. Apparently he liked getting rises out of 'golden boy'.

"I won't try anything," Matt insisted. "I swear."

Blair hadn't expected him to say that.

"Right," Blair said sarcastically.

"I won't," Matt reaffirmed. "It'll be fun. A nice _friendly_ evening of getting to know each other."

She could care less about getting to know him. She knew enough already…but she also knew that she needed a date to the gala. Plus, Matt was one of the A-list crowd...

Not to mention that Melissa would be pissed if Blair showed up with Matt. Blair had been meaning to give her a little payback along with Jenny. If Blair went with Matt, she'd just have to worry about getting Hazel back to round out the bases.

Well, why the hell not?

"This is what you're going to wear…"

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_To be continued…_

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**Song**: _See You Again_ by Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus

(1): This is all true. Roller Jam USA is located on Staten Island and it _is_ the only indoor year-round skating rink. It happens to be closed on Thursdays. I have no idea if it was open on Valentine's Day but for my purposes, it was. LOL! 


	21. Chapter 20

**REMINDER! REMINDER! REMINDER!**

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about the new episodes due to begin April 21st. Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

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**Friday, February 15****th****. ****The Sweetheart Gala PART ONE**

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He didn't want to be here.

Well, he sort of did, but then again he didn't.

He knew he had to come. It wasn't some party a guy from school was throwing that Nate could pass on if he felt like it.

The Sweetheart Gala was a school dance and everyone was expected to be there.

The past two days had passed in a blur.

When he left Blair's, it felt sort of anti-climactic. He'd told her he didn't know if he could ever forgive her… and that was mostly the truth.

That was the same thing he'd been wrestling with since he first found out. Things were getting easier, and if he was honest with himself, he _did_ care about her. If he didn't, she wouldn't have been able to hurt him as much as she did.

And he was gradually seeing her side of things. Her words had stayed with him now that he had finally given her the chance to explain.

"_All I ever wanted was to be with you. All I ever wanted was for you to love me and you couldn't even do that. My entire world revolved around you and you didn't even see me."_

"_But Chuck, he actually saw me. He was there for me when you couldn't be bothered. No, it had nothing to do with revenge and everything to do with being with someone who saw only me and not my best friend," _

Oddly enough, talking to her had helped him a lot. It was such a relief to have the answers to so many of his questions. No longer did he have to wonder about her doing this to deliberately hurt him. She hadn't done that. And she hadn't stayed away from him because she was in love with Chuck. She'd done it because Chuck forced her to.

He _had_ been shocked to find out that Chuck was sending Blair presents and that Blair was planning on going to the gala with him. Truthfully? He'd felt this odd feeling in his chest when she told him… like all the air had gone away. Like he was too late… he panicked. That was why he became so completely flabbergasted. That was why he asked her, completely incredulous, how she could forgive Chuck for destroying her.

He remembered thinking the night of the ball that Blair really must love _him_, Nate, if she was willing to forgive him after everything. That previous thought was where the panic and shock came from on Wednesday. For a few brief seconds he thought that Blair might actually have those same feelings for Chuck. She would have only ever been able to forgive Chuck for doing something so hurtful if she cared deeply about him.

But she hadn't known, and she hadn't forgiven Chuck, and the look on her face showed how hurt she was by the revelation. And it tore at him…

It wasn't possible to just throw away twelve years of love, friendship, and respect… especially when _he_ was responsible for everything falling apart to begin with. _He_ had been the one to disrespect Blair. _He_ was the one to start this downward spiral.

And maybe that was the problem. He'd never forgiven himself for what he'd done to Blair. Maybe that was why he couldn't forgive Blair for doing the same thing to him.

Hadn't he heard somewhere that what you dislike in others is usually what you dislike most about yourself?

But the fact that his first reaction upon learning that Blair and Chuck were back together was to think that he was too late… freaked him out a little. It made him realize that he wasn't over Blair. No amount of closure and arguing was going to make him forget her.

And the more that he kept thinking about everything… the more he kept thinking that maybe he had been the one to betray her again by turning his back on her. She'd only turned to Chuck because Nate had turned her away. How could he hold that against her?

And that was why he wanted to be at the gala even though he really didn't want to be. He was finding himself more and more anxious to see her. He was starting to realize that he might, _might_, be able to forgive her after all… he did love her—there was no longer any doubt about that.

So maybe he'd be able to get her alone tonight. He knew she probably wasn't coming with Chuck now, not after Wednesday—and not after the post from Gossip Girl about Chuck's "problem". Nate didn't believe that was true anyway. He knew Chuck well enough to know that he was very careful when it came to his favorite pastime.

The plan was to talk to Blair… the plan was to _maybe_ ask her to dance… the plan was to try to figure out the huge snafu that had become their _non-_relationship.

Or at least that _was_ the plan before he looked away from the silly blonde girl named Hazel, who was once again trying to hit on him, and saw the object of his thoughts entering into The Palace's Villard Ballroom... on the arm of the last person he ever expected to see her with.

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"You look absolutely gorgeous Kati," Melissa said reassuringly.

Kati and Is were upset and more than slightly frazzled. They had arrived moments before, later than Hazel had commanded. They couldn't help it, they were having a catastrophe.

And all the girls—Melissa included—wanted to arrive later but Hazel was hearing none of it. It was bad enough that Jenny wouldn't be arriving until after eight, everyone else was trying to avoid Hazel's wrath by getting there early.

Hazel was the "genius" who decided to schedule the gala for seven o'clock. The girls at the meeting had tried to explain to her that eight o'clock would be more suitable—they weren't in middle school after all. But Hazel hadn't listened.

So, all the girls were forced to rush to get back to the gala by seven. Hazel didn't want to look like an idiot by being the only one there.

Most people didn't start showing up until closer to seven thirty, seven forty-five. Hazel was a little peeved, but she forgot all about the oversight when she noticed Nate Archibald arrive.

Hazel waited all of ten minutes before making her way over to Nate for her first attempt of the evening. She had bragged to her friends that she was going to dance with Nate, and there was no time like the present.

Meanwhile, Melissa was trying to calm Kati and Is and reassure them that they didn't blend in with the decorations….

Or at least she was trying to calm them… until a few heads, including Nate's, turned toward the entrance of the ballroom… and she saw a sight that made her blood run cold.

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Chuck had almost successfully diffused the situation with the herpes rumor.

He'd gotten a hold of the people who found the beneficiaries for this "grant". He ended up donating more money to the cause and issuing a public statement on the site. He felt a lot like John Tucker, pretending to actually give a shit about the poor losers who weren't careful enough to stay away from diseased body parts. But it worked. And, apparently the post from Gossip Girl had encouraged other students to donate to the "cause". A few of those donations came from concerned girls who seemed to be upset for Chuck. They wanted to do anything they could to help find the "cure" to save Chuck Bass—or so he'd been told.

He found it amusing that even after such a harsh blow to his reputation he still had his very own fan club… though they were a little dumb for his tastes. He'd read all about this "grant" he had supposedly created and discovered that it had nothing to do with researching a cure for herpes and everything to do with providing health care for the fools who suffered from it.

It was completely beyond him where this whole thing had come from. He knew a lot of people didn't like him but the ones currently gunning for him were Blair, Jenny, and possibly Nate. Of the three, only two of them could afford to create the grant. Blair said she hadn't done it, and he believed her… and he didn't think Nate was smart enough to come up with this scheme… which left Jenny. But Jenny couldn't afford to create that grant. She'd have used the money for her first pair of Manolos or something.

He had found out that the grant was originally created with ten grand. He checked the date and it _was_ at a time when he was arguing with Blair… but he'd also given ten grand to Docu Girl for that tape which turned out to be blank. He knew that Jenny knew Docu Girl so he started to think that maybe Jenny was behind the herpes slam with an assist from the Brooklyn wench. But then he did some more snooping and found out that her rent had been paid for the year… which meant she _had_ used his bribe for its intended purpose.

So he was back to square one in the hunt for the person responsible. He would have probably thought it was Blair, but his gut told him that she was too upset to do it and lie about it. She said she hadn't done it and he believed her.

The herpes dilemma was just a small blip on his radar over the past twenty four hours though. He'd resolved it and moved on—even gotten a mention from Gossip Girl which made everyone check out his "grant" site again so they could see his public "service" announcement.

There was still going to be people who believed that it was true, or _possibly_ true, but for the most part he would be fine. He gave no credence to the rumor and laughed it off just like he'd done the first time he'd read Gossip Girls' post which went a long way to convincing people it was all a lie.

So yeah, it was just a small blip on his mind.

The rest of the past twenty-four hours was occupied with thinking about Blair.

"_I care, Waldorf," Chuck insisted. "I want to be with you."_

_Blair laughed with disbelief and sarcasm. She stopped and shook her head. "No, you don't. If you cared about me, you would have never done that to me. You did it out of spite. You knew how much it would hurt me. Once again, you did something for your own enjoyment. Well, I hope it was worth it."_

He'd never felt worse than he did at that moment. He didn't normally feel bad about his actions…sure he'd been a little disgruntled when he'd almost ruined things for his dad with Lily, but he hadn't really cared. Remorse was foreign to him…as was regret.

He had apologized to Nate and told him that he wished he had a little time machine to go back and fix things. He lied. He didn't regret being with Blair. He didn't want to take away that memory for anything.

But until he told Blair, desperation in his voice: _"It wasn't worth it… if I could, I'd take it back, but I can't,"_ he hadn't truly felt regret.

He'd thought long and hard all night about what he'd done to screw things up. And he was finally blaming _himself_ for everything that went wrong between him and Blair.

He knew that he had screwed things up back at the ball, but he hadn't listened to what she said. He'd heard, but not listened… and definitely hadn't learned.

"_You did all this for your own enjoyment and didn't care what it would do to me… which is exactly why you and I can never work."_

She had spelled it out for him plainly. He just didn't know at the time how to think about someone else before himself. He'd done everything he could so that _he'd_ come out on top. He wanted to make Nate look like a fool. He wanted Blair in _his_ arms. He laughed when his plan fell into place. He was overjoyed that Nate was the one to cause the "scene" for once.

And he'd tipped off Gossip Girl.

Last night he finally allowed himself to take a walk in her shoes. He thought about everything from her point of view… it was the most selfless night he'd ever had… and it made him feel even worse.

She hadn't broken up with him at the ball out of spite. She'd broken up with him because he didn't know how to put her first. She hadn't gone to Nate because she was trying to hurt him. She had gone to Nate because she loved him and didn't want to be alone.

When she asked him to keep silent about "them", she hadn't done it out of spite either. She'd been desperate to bring her life back to normal. He remembered the sound of her voice Christmas Eve. She hadn't wanted to keep fighting. She was trying to be somewhat friendly—trying not to create waves.

But he was the one who couldn't go back to pretending. He was the one who couldn't make his feelings for her go away. He was the one who wanted to be spiteful and get her back for all the feelings she'd stirred up and trampled on.

And he just kept pushing and hurting, trying his hardest to control her the only way he knew how.

And that wasn't even the worst part of his little "walk" in her shoes.

The worst part came when he started to think about her scared to death because she thought she might be pregnant. It didn't matter who the father was, she would have still been pregnant. Her life would have changed forever.

And on the heels of her relief at finding out that she was okay, he turned around and used that information to hurt her. He told everyone… and she was then faced with the reality of what would have happened to her if she _had_ been pregnant.

And after she'd lost every single other person in her life, she came crawling back to him.

And he rejected her.

And that was what made him feel the absolute worse.

He finally understood what she had wanted from him from the start… and he had failed her three times.

She was right. If he really cared about her, he would have never hurt her the way he had.

And remorse and regret, those two foreign feelings, were becoming his new best friends.

He didn't know how to convince her that he _did_ care. He didn't know how to fix this mess.

But he knew that he did still want her. He knew that he was the most selfish son of a bitch on the planet, but he would give anything to have her back.

He arrived at the gala a little early, around seven thirty. He knew she wasn't going to miss it. He also knew without her telling him that they weren't coming together. He wanted the opportunity to talk to her if he could get her away from the crowd. He knew she wouldn't want to cause a scene, so she might at least _listen_ to him.

He figured she'd come with Serena and Dan.

He was wrong.

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Blair waited until ten after eight to make her appearance. The seven o'clock time was just silly, but she had to be there before Jenny's meeting time.

Actually, as soon as Jenny entered the room, all bets were off on whether she'd make it to eight thirty.

Blair knew that Jenny and Dan were coming together—one of the perks of Serena's relationship with Dan was the information Blair received from her. Serena hadn't wanted to get there until after eight either, so Dan and Jenny weren't rushing.

Blair didn't know if Jenny would arrive with Dan and Serena, or if Dan would go up to meet Serena at her suite to escort her while Jenny came in by herself.

She really _really_ hoped that Jenny came by herself. She knew that she was going to have to tread _very_ lightly if she wanted to get through Jenny's takedown without angering Serena. She had all the details worked out in her mind but there was still a possibility that Serena would figure everything out. If Jenny came first, Serena and Dan might miss Jenny's humiliation completely and be none-the-wiser when they finally arrived.

In the meantime, she was concentrating on her entry to the gala.

She was waiting for the moment when all eyes fell on her with her date. She knew that flashes were going to go off all around the room but she would maintain her composure.

Thus far Matt had been nothing less than a gentleman.

He had picked her up in a limo he rented for the night. He wore the black suit she'd told him to purchase _very_ well, with a purple breast-pocket accessory that matched his button-down shirt. He'd greeted her in the front hall of her penthouse apartment, bowing over her proffered hand. He's escorted her to the limo and opened the door for her. He didn't sit too close during the ride to The Palace. He'd assisted her out of the limo and escorted her to the entrance of the fifth floor ballroom that the dance was to take place.

But she definitely didn't trust him.

But at least she looked gorgeous. Her dress, off the shoulder and purple as well, was form-fitting and sleek. It conformed to her curves and was deliciously sexy without revealing anything else. Her hair was down and curly, as she'd taken to wearing it when she went out these past few weeks.

She'd almost worn the sea-green dress she'd had her eye on all week in her mother's collection. In fact, if she'd gone to the gala with Chuck, she would have worn it. As it was, she caught sight of Chuck as she entered the room and saw that he had indeed decided to still wear the black suit with sea-green. He'd teased her about wearing a pink dress instead but she'd drawn the line at that.

Heads started to turn. There were people on the dance floor, people congregating around tables, people walking to the hors d'oeuvres, but as one person's head turned, others followed suit.

She didn't shy away from the attention, instead she reveled in it. She had walked in on Matt's arm, and as she stood there, she felt him lean toward her and whisper, "Everyone's jealous that I'm with the most beautiful girl here."

She grinned and held onto his arm more firmly. "Shall we dance?" she asked flirtatiously.

He nodded and led the way to the dance floor.

_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air  
_

Nate couldn't believe it.

Never in his wildest dreams, or nightmares, would he have ever thought of Matt and Blair together. Sure, he had seen them dancing last week at the PVD Party, but he'd also seen Blair leave Matt to dance with Serena.

Why was Blair here with Matt? Try as he might, he couldn't come up with one reason. But from the sly triumphant look Matt directed toward him as the pair arrived on the dance floor and Matt took her into his arms, he had a sneaking suspicion that Matt was using Blair to get to him.

_  
If I should die before I wake  
It's 'cause you took my breath away  
Losing you is like living in a world with no air  
Oh  
_

And he didn't like that one bit. Not at all.

_I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave  
My heart won't move, it's incomplete  
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand_

Chuck couldn't stop the odd ache shooting through him.

That was supposed to be him.

He was supposed to be the one with Blair.

He was supposed to be the one wrapping her in his arms.

Blair wasn't supposed to come to the gala with a date.

How had this happened? She couldn't possibly feel anything for that jerk. Was she trying to hurt him this time? But she'd hardly looked in his direction. He didn't know what to do.

All he could do was watch as Matt took a hold of her hand and twirled her before taking her in his arms again. This wasn't like last week. Last week it had become obvious that she didn't want to dance with Matt when Serena "rescued" her. He had witnessed that. He'd be relieved… he wasn't now. Because now Blair was dancing with Matt and acting like she was really enjoying it.

_But how do you expect me  
to live alone with just me  
'Cause my world revolves around you  
It's so hard for me to breathe  
_

Melissa didn't know whether to cry or scream.

She'd dressed with extra care this evening. She'd done her hair up flawlessly. She dressed in a beautiful, sleeveless, crisscross in the back, apricot dress with a high waist and flowing skirt. She knew she looked good. She even applied an apricot/skin toned lip gloss so as to avoid any comparisons to Blair Waldorf.

She just knew that Matt would take one look at her and he wouldn't want to be with anyone else except her. He wasn't supposed to have a date. He told everyone that he was going stag so he could play the field.

And then he walked through those doors with none other than Blair Waldorf on his arm. Not only were they together, but they looked perfect together. They were holding onto each other, and as Melissa watched, Matt leaned in to ask Blair a question. He seemed to be hanging onto her every word.

_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air  
Can't live, can't breathe with no air  
It's how I feel when I know you ain't there  
It's no air, no air  
_

Then they walked together to the dance floor.

And all Melissa could do was stare and feel her heart being torn out all over again as Matt took Blair into his arms and focused his attention completely on her.

_  
Got me out here in the water so deep  
Tell me how you gonna be without me  
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe  
It's no air, no air  
_

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"You sure you don't want to wait for Serena and Eric before going in?" Dan asked.

Jenny just grinned and shook her head 'No'. "Dan, I'm not a scared little girl, silly. This is my first big dance that I'm actually allowed to go to. I'm going to march in, find my friends, dance, have fun, and probably go to Hazel's after party."

"Where there will be absolutely no drinking, correct?" Dan said sharply and slyly.

"Dan, really," Jenny laughed. She hadn't answered his question of course.

"Go get Serena," Jenny continued quickly. "I'm sure she's anxiously awaiting her escort. Eric too," she winked.

"Whatever you say," Dan sighed. He took the elevator up to Serena's floor while Jenny walked down the fifth floor toward the ballroom entrance.

Jenny was feeling happier than she'd been for a while. She finally had her best friend back; she had missed Dan so much. Dan had been talking to her and texting her all day. He was trying to make absolutely certain that she was fine.

It was kind of nice actually—having someone care about her so much that they thought about her 24/7. Everyone else around her always had their mind on someone else. But Jenny? It was just her.

And no matter what Dan told her, she still felt responsible for the breakup of her parent's marriage. If only she hadn't gone to Hudson to bring her mother home. If only she hadn't disobeyed her mother.

Maybe if she'd been a better, more supportive daughter, her mother wouldn't have left.

She really missed her mother. She missed all the girl fun. She missed having a confidant. She always felt left out around Dan and Dad.

But now she had new friends. They weren't the best, but they were supportive and had each other's backs for the most part.

And now it looked like she would have the perfect boyfriend too. In a matter of minutes she would be on the dance floor, waiting for Nate Archibald to come to her and declare his love and desire for her. And in a matter of minutes he would come to her, he would speak the words, and they would spend the rest of the evening wrapped in each other's arms dancing—not caring about the rest of the school population.

She adjusted her gown and her accessories. She knew she looked good. She also knew that her dress would probably be the biggest concoction there, but she didn't mind. Nate had picked it out for her—it would be perfect in his eyes and that's all that mattered.

_Only a matter of minutes…_she thought as she smiled and entered the room.

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Blair had been waiting for Jenny to arrive. She'd deliberately kept an eye on the door, making sure that Matt didn't move too far away from the edge of the dance floor.

When she saw Jenny enter by her self and saw no sign of Dan or Serena, she couldn't help but grin widely. This was going to be so good.

Her eyes swung over to Kati and Is.

Now all she had to do was wait for them to notice.

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Kati was not happy.

When Hannah had mentioned the reason to change the gala decorations—when they were purple, red, and pink—that too many girls would blend into the background, Kati and Is had a brief flicker of thought that if the gala was decorated in _white_, _they_ would blend into the background. White was the color they had chosen to wear.

But then they realized that it didn't matter because they had their mix-matched accessories as well as their new party tiaras.

They had purchased the tiaras on Sunday. It was the same day they'd gone shopping for their dress and ended up sending a tip to Gossip Girl to help Blair out.

Kati and Is brought the tiaras home and put them away, not worrying about the gala anymore because they were ready.

After they finished the very last details with Hazel, they went home and got ready for the dance.

That was the problem.

Kati tried to get ready, but something was missing…

And as she spotted a ball of pink fluff across the room, she also spotted something else… something that made her regret ever choosing Jenny over Blair in the first place.

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Is didn't even see it coming.

One minute Kati was standing next to her, both of them feeling a little dreary because their fun had been hampered for the evening, and the next minute Kati was walking furiously from their table straight up to Jenny Humphrey who was hovering on the edge of the dance floor.

As Is, and a few other students, watched, Kati reached up and grabbed the tiara from Jenny's head and ripped it off, taking a few strands of hair with it.

At Jenny's startled semi-scream, heads started to turn.

"What are you doing?" Jenny cried, clutching a hand to her head.

Is hurried across the room at the same time that Melissa, Hazel, Hannah, Liz, and Natalie wondered by to see what was going on.

Kati stared in sheer disbelief at the tiara in Jenny's hand.

"You crafty little thief!" Kati exclaimed. "I can't believe I ever befriended you!"

Jenny's mouth dropped open and she tried to figure out what the hell Kati was talking about, "Wh-wh—what are you talking about?"

Kati gripped the tiara in her fist and held the front of it up in Jenny's face. "Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think I wouldn't recognize my _own_ tiara?"

"What!?" Jenny squeaked.

"Look at Is," Kati jerked her head toward Isabel.

Jenny, and everyone else in the crowd starting to form around the girls, looked at Is who was wearing one of the strangest looking pieces of headgear they had ever seen. It _was_ a tiara. The base of it consisted of two silver hearts lying on their sides facing away from each other with another silver heart in the dead center. Little semi-soft stones were at the center of each heart. Is's tiara was resting on a flatbed of pink that gave a much more royal effect to the mix. There were other designs and ribbons hanging from the sides. It was truly a party tiara. Elegant but madly fun.

The head dress on Is _only_ looked silly. If Kati and Is were both wearing their versions, they would have probably pulled it off flawlessly, but they weren't.

And it was obvious to everyone surrounding the group that the tiara on Jenny's head looked exactly like the silver part of Is' tiara. And everyone also knew that Jenny was extremely good with crafts.

She had removed all of the party aspects of the tiara and thought that would be enough to hide her theft from Kati.

"Kati," Jenny began, bewildered, "I didn't take this from you."

"Really?" Kati said in disbelief, "Then where did you get it?"

"It… it was a gift," Jenny said. Her mind raced as she tried to figure out what was going on. Nate had sent it to her, it couldn't be stolen.

She looked around the dance floor until her eyes settled on Nate.

He was standing behind Hazel. Nate had finally given in and decided to dance with her after seeing Blair with someone else. Now that Hazel was eyeballing the situation between Jenny and Hazel, he had stopped and observed as well.

"Oh really?" Kati said, "From whom? You know what? I don't want to know. You are a liar. A liar and a thief. We never should have trusted a Brooklyn girl. Your true colors are showing. You are done here."

Jenny could feel the panic start to rise. She opened her mouth to continue to deny it—not wanting to say anything about Nate just yet—when Melissa spoke up.

"You know…" Melissa began, "I've been looking for a silver bracelet that's been missing since last Friday night. I assumed I left it at… a friend's house… but I haven't seen it since the PVD Party… since I went to the ladies with _you_."

Melissa could feel herself starting to get upset now. "What, did I remove it when I washed my hands and you felt the need to make off with it when I forgot about it?"

"Melissa, I swear," Jenny insisted. "I didn't take your bracelet! And I didn't take that tiara!"

"Because someone _gave_ it to you," Kati responded with a smirk. "Whatever."

"It's true!" Jenny couldn't hold back her panic; the tears were starting to threaten. "Nate, Nate gave it to me."

Nate was startled. He looked up—he'd been admiring the floor, his thoughts turned toward Blair, not even paying attention to the conversation. "I did what?"

To Hazel, that was the final straw. "You have _got_ to be kidding me! First you steal from Kati and Melissa, and now you expect us to believe that _Nate Archibald_ bought you presents? Have you gone mad?"

"Ask him," Jenny insisted, looking toward Nate with pleading eyes.

Unfortunately, Nate was in one of his distracted moods and didn't understand what Jenny was trying to convey with her eyes. Instead, he answered with the truth.

"Jenny, I have no idea what you're talking about," Nate said, shaking his head. "I never sent you anything."

"But… but…," her bottom lip quivered and her eyes grew blurry. "You love me. You said it."

Hazel started laughing, "As if! He's an Archibald. What would he be doing with a gold digging thief like _you_?"

Nate looked with confusion, and a little disgust at Hazel, before turning his attention back to Jenny. "I never said that. I wouldn't have said that. You're a friend Jenny, that's it. I thought I'd made that clear."

"But if you didn't send those notes, who did?" Jenny whispered. The horror was starting to build even higher. She looked around at all her new friends. None of them believed that she was innocent. Every single one was looking at her with absolute disgust.

"Kati, Is," Jenny begged. "You have to believe me. There was a secret admirer. This person sent me letters. He sent the dress and the tiara and… and… made me think it was Nate. I swear, I didn't take any of your things. I have the letters at home. I'll bring them here!"

Hazel had grown over confident by Nate's dismissal of Jenny, and she was angry that Jenny had been lying to her all this time. Jenny had told Hazel that she was not interested in Nate, and all this time Jenny had feelings for him and thought she could snag him before Hazel could?

Hazel didn't want Jenny in the group anymore, and it didn't matter if Jenny was telling the truth or not, she was going down.

"Probably just something you've cooked up to cover your ass, Little J," Hazel hissed. "Everyone knows how smart you are. Who's to say you won't go home and write those letters yourself?"

"But I didn't, I won't," Jenny insisted.

"So, they're postmarked?" Hazel asked.

Jenny winced, "No."

"Likely story."

Jenny looked around wildly. She thought quickly, trying to figure out what to do. Her eyes passed Blair, who was smirking at her.

"Blair!" Jenny shouted. "It had to be Blair! She threatened me! She said she's ruin me! She did this!"

Blair heard the accusation and laughed. She turned around and leaned back into Matt who wrapped his arms around her. "Jenny, really, how would _I_ get a hold of those things? None of them are my friends anymore. Although, this whole thievery thing doesn't surprise me at all."

Jenny sputtered.

"Really," Kati said, intrigued, "why not?"

"Because she stole a jacket from my mother, and probably would have stolen a diamond bracelet put on my account at the jewelers if I hadn't spotted her with it," Blair explained regally.

"The jacket was a dare! And the bracelet was a loan, I wasn't going to keep it," Jenny insisted. The girls surrounding her obviously didn't believe a word she said.

"The dare was to retrieve the jacket from my mother's store," Blair explained patiently. "I never said you could keep it. You did anyway. And the bracelet was _loaned_ to you to wear to the Masquerade Ball—a ball that you, as a freshman, were not allowed to go to but went anyway. You lied your way in. You _are_ nothing but a crafty little thief." Blair was laughing inside at the little insult Kati had bestowed on Jenny.

Everything was falling into place beautifully.

Nobody believed that Jenny was innocent. Nobody knew that Elise was the one who helped Blair procure the items. The fact that Melissa didn't know that she'd lost her bracelet the Monday after the PVD party and not the night _of_ the party went a long way to covering Elise's ass too.

Of course Elise had only agreed to do this as long as all the items were returned to their rightful owners. They would be… in a matter of speaking.

Jenny tried to explain, she started pleading with Kati, but no one wanted to hear it. Hazel walked straight up to Jenny herself and stared her down. "Get out of my sight, you make me sick. Kati's right. You _are_ done here. Done forever."

As Jenny looked around and saw the crowd of people that were still staring at her, she felt the tears fall. She hiked up the long skirts of her dress and tried to side step around the people blocking her path. Instead of moving out of her way, they bumped into her, pushing her around, laughing at her, calling her a thief. They told her to go back to Brooklyn; they compared her to trailer trash. They told her that she didn't belong, that she'd never belong.

Finally she couldn't stand it anymore and the sobs started and she found the strength to push her way through and run out of the room and down the stairs, forgoing the elevator.

Before she made her way out of the room though, she spotted Chuck Bass off to the side with the same smirk on his face that Blair had sported moments ago.

And the only thought running through her mind as she finished her mad dash was that she should have never messed with Chuck Bass… because surely he had done this to her.

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Blair turned back to Matt and tried to hide her glee.

Jenny was finished.

Ruined.

All it took was five minutes.

And Dan and Serena had missed the entire exchange.

Blair wondered what would become of the evening once they did find out.

She didn't worry though; she never worried.

Plus…the evening had only just begun.

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_To be continued…_

Song: "No Air" by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown


	22. Chapter 21

**REMINDER! REMINDER! REMINDER!**

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about the new episodes! Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

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**Friday, February 15****th****. ****The Sweetheart Gala PART TWO**

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"Hey there," Dan said with a smirk as the suite door opened to reveal a slightly disheveled blonde male, "I'm looking for my girlfriend. Yay height," he held his hand up somewhere near the top of his own head, "tall, blonde, gorgeous, adorable?"

"Dan, hey," Eric said with a smile. "She's still getting ready." He rolled his eyes and turned to walk back to his room, fiddling with the knot on his tie.

"Is that Dan?" Serena called loudly from her room.

"I sure hope so, otherwise you have a creepy stalker pal," Eric answered.

"I'll be five minutes, _five_ minutes, I swear!" Serena called out.

"Better settle in, this could be a while," Eric deadpanned to Dan.

"Need a little help with that?" Dan asked as Eric undid the knot and pulled the material from his neck with a sigh.

"My hero," Eric joked, handing the material to Dan.

"I did mention that the van der Bass I was looking for is _tall_, right?" Dan laughed.

"But you agree that I'm blonde, gorgeous, _and_ adorable," Eric said, laughing with Dan.

"Don't push it," Dan said, shaking his head. He flung it over Eric's head and managed to tie it into a passable knot.

"There you go," Dan said with a nod. "You'll have to fend the girls off with a stick."

"Maybe," Eric shrugged. "Not too sure about the blue and tan, but Serena insisted on it."

"That's because you look good in blue," Serena said as she left her bedroom. She didn't mention that Blair had insisted Eric wear a tan suit with a light blue dress shirt. Serena had pushed the outfit too because she had been at Blair's penthouse the morning Elise picked out her light blue dress from Eleanor's collection. Serena knew, without Blair even saying it, that she was going to try a little match-making. And that was perfectly fine with Serena.

"If you say so," Eric said. "Ready?" Eric looked over at Dan to include him in the question, but shook his head and started making his way to the exit with he saw the expression on Dan's face.

"You look… whoa... amazing," Dan stuttered out, unable to tear his eyes away from Serena.

"Thank you," Serena said with a demure smile as she walked over to him.

She was wearing a champagne strapless satin jersey column gown. Her hair was carelessly arranged as usual, her lips and eyes bronzed and glittery with hints of pink to pop her skin tone without overshadowing the color of the dress.

"I'm just going to head down," Eric interrupted when the two couldn't seem to take their eyes off of each other.

"Oh, we're coming," Serena said. "Let me just get one more thing."

"I'll meet you down there," Eric said. He was getting antsy and wanted to get the evening over with and waiting for his sister to finish getting ready was seriously driving him bonkers.

"Find us a table," Serena said as she hurried toward her room.

"Alright," Eric said as he left.

Serena returned with a satin slip of material in her hand.

"What's that?" Dan asked.

"For you," she said as she started undoing his tie. Dan always wore a black tux for these society functions, she expected no different… and he really did look sexy in a black tux.

But tonight he was wearing a champagne colored tie to match her dress. She knew a lot of girls, namely Blair, did that, and she'd had a fit of matching fun at Bendels—so Dan was going to match her.

She finished removing the one he was wearing and put the new one on.

"You know, I read a book once where the hero's sister dyed her hair the same color as her cat's fur _and_ put collars on the cat that matched the dress she was wearing that day," Dan said, trying to keep a straight face.

"Really," Serena said. She finished up the knot as he finished his story.

"Yeah, actually no one ever saw them together so some people thought she _was_ the cat, like she had these morphing capabilities," Dan said.

"Meow," Serena purred like a cat, pouting her lip sexily.

Dan laughed and led her toward the door.

"You make the best sounds," Dan complimented.

Serena laughed, "I try."

Dan just smiled and escorted her out of the room.

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They were in the elevator, on their way to the gala when Serena asked, "Where's Jenny?"

"Oh, she decided to go on ahead," Dan said. "She said something about being a big 'kid' and hanging with her friends, something like that," he finished sarcastically.

The elevator doors opened to their floor and they continued along the hall.

Dan stopped at coat check. He'd been carrying the coat since he'd gotten up to Serena's suite. He could have just left it there, but since he would be escorting Jenny home he knew he probably wouldn't be going back up to Serena's that evening—mores the shame.

"So, what about Blair?" Dan asked as he waited for the clerk to fill out his ticket, attaching it to his coat and handing him the other half.

"She's probably already here," Serena replied.

"She came alone?" Dan said. He knew that Blair was a fighter and very… frightening… when she wanted to be, but even she had to be apprehensive about going to a gala without someone by her side. Dan assumed that someone would be Serena.

They turned and started down the hall.

"No, she's with Matt," Serena said. She hadn't thought it was a good idea, but she knew Blair was right. If B showed up without a date after she told everyone she had one, she'd look like a fool.

Dan stopped.

"Matt Cunningham?" Dan asked, perplexed. That was the only Matt he knew of in their social circle. Dan didn't know much about Matt actually, but he'd seen him around and knew that he was one of the guys that kept talking about Blair after her humiliation. And, if Dan wasn't mistaken, Matt was the one that started the rumor that Chuck said Blair wasn't any good in bed. "Why?"

"Why not?" Serena asked.

"Ookay," Dan shrugged. Obviously it wasn't something Serena wanted to talk about.

"So, are you free for lunch tomorrow? Vanessa's been raving all week about these new paninis the café just introduced. Apparently, it's all the rage!" Dan said with his usual sassy sarcastic voice.

"I'd love to," Serena said, "but I can't."

"Have some hot date?" Dan pouted this time.

"Sort of," Serena said with a fake dreamy expression as she continued the walk toward the ballroom.

"I've got plans with Blair," she finished.

"Oh, yes, a _very_ hot date," Dan said, flexing his eyebrows suggestively.

"Hey!" Serena said, popping his arm gently with a fist.

"Kidding," Dan said, raising his arms. "So, shopping? That seems to be the activity of choice for an inconsolable best friend." He knew from Serena that Blair wasn't doing too well since she found out that _Chuck_ was the one to hurt her, not _Jenny_.

"She'll be better soon," Serena said, purposefully avoiding the 'shopping' part of the question. She didn't like to lie to Dan, but she couldn't very well tell him that she was taking Blair to see a shrink. "Just as long as Chuck leaves her alone. He's not good for her."

"I have to agree. Chuck is definitely not good enough for her, even though Blair is a little… _Blair_ sometimes…" Dan looked at Serena who raised her eyebrows. He hastened to correct himself so it didn't seem like he was putting down her best friend. "I mean… I didn't mean _that_, I just meant—"

"It's okay," Serena interrupted before he started stammering more. She grinned. She loved when he talked in circles whenever he thought he'd just put his foot in his mouth. "I know… and I didn't say he wasn't good enough for her… although I probably should have. I said he wasn't good _for_ her. Neither is Nate. In fact, I just hope both of them stay away from her. They both cause more harm than good." And even if Blair wasn't interested in Matt, even _Matt_ was probably not good for her. But Serena wasn't going to mention that tonight.

"Uh, I don't think I'm following you," Dan said, confused. "She's Blair Waldorf; she can bounce back from anything."

"I hope so," Serena said before pulling on his arm and entering the ballroom. She didn't want to explain any of what she'd just said. She didn't even know why she'd said what she had. Now was the time for changing the subject and hitting the dance floor, not for sending subliminal messages that Dan wouldn't understand. She really needed to shut up. Blair's other secret was going with her to the grave.

"I love this song! Let's dance," Serena said loudly to be heard over the music.

"Okay," Dan said just as loudly and followed her.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The two figures entered the ballroom, not bothering to look back. If they had, they wouldn't have noticed the lone figure standing off to the side anyway. He hadn't wanted to be noticed.

He had needed a breather, and a chance to find a staff member. It was a school function and, as such, they frowned heavily on alcoholic drinking at the gala. So he had to find a staff member and instruct them to deliver drinks to his table. None of the chaperones would notice, and if they did… well, he was Chuck Bass. Did it really matter? Most of the other kids had brought whiskey flasks or mini-shot bottles with them anyway.

But his need for scotch—not something that would be easily concealed—had forced his walk out of the room.

He'd been amused to bare witness to little Jenny Humphrey's takedown. He couldn't have planned it better himself. He knew Blair had to be behind it. Blair had thought that Jenny was behind _her_ humiliation, plus Jenny had taken her place… and she also thought that Jenny might be trying to make a play for Nate considering the information _Chuck_ had sent to Gossip Girl about N and J just so Blair might seek revenge against her.

And Blair had definitely done that. The significance of Blair losing her crown and Jenny having her tiara torn off was not lost on Chuck either. Blair had humiliated Jenny _and_ been witty about it. How hot was that?

He'd grown tired of watching Blair and Matt dance and decided to secure a drink. He figured he'd try to talk to Blair later, but he needed to give things time to die down at the gala. Everyone was still talking about Jenny's little jewel heist and wondering if they were missing any item she might have gotten her grubby little hands on.

And that was how he found himself following behind Serena and Dan after coat check. He couldn't help but listen as the topic turned to Blair.

And Dan may not have realized that Serena didn't answer the question about "shopping", but Chuck did. He felt a blast of anger when Dan said that Chuck wasn't good enough for Blair. In his opinion, _Dan_ wasn't good enough for Serena.

But between the unanswered question and the "they both cause more harm than good" quote, the insult was forgotten and instead Chuck's mind was racing.

Why did Serena sound so worried about Blair? Of course Blair would be fine. Dan was right, Blair always bounced back. Why did Serena think this time would be any different?

And what were Serena and Blair doing tomorrow if they weren't going shopping? Last Saturday around lunch time they'd gone to that house in the city, the one he followed them to because he thought there was something wrong with Blair. He'd put the place out of his mind at assuming it was a friend's house, just as he'd put the idea that Blair was sick out of his mind because she said something about… he couldn't remember, but it was something insignificant—some sort of cold maybe?

Had Blair lied to him? What the hell was going on? He probably wouldn't have thought twice about what Serena said… except she included Nate. She said that "both" of them caused Blair more harm than good. He would have never thought that Serena would lump Nate into the same boat as Chuck. That just served to intrigue him more than ever.

Chuck Bass had a nose that wouldn't stay out of anyone else's business, especially Blair's. He planned on exercising his right to snoop.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_That's why you keep on running In and out of my mind.  
As the years they all roll by,  
Baby, now I know why I keep coming back to you._

Apparently the DJ Hazel hired and instructed to play "R&B music only" was toeing that line. Natasha Bedingfield's song definitely lightened the mood though.

That was Blair's thought as Matt spun her around so that her back faced him before he wrapped his arms around her, tugging her close in a mock hug as they continued to move to the music. She giggled as he brought his head down next to hers, moving their heads together along with their bodies. The action was just too cute and she was having too much fun.

She'd spotted Dan and Serena on the dance floor. She knew they didn't know about Jenny yet or they wouldn't look so happy. She was just content to continue dancing without having to tell them anything yet.

_You're the only one that knows me,  
love it when you hold me,  
never find a love like this_

Dan wasn't sure what he was doing. He had learned some last minute fancy dance moves for Cotillion, but now he was definitely lost. Dancing was not his forte.

Serena just laughed and told him to mirror her movements. He tried, but he knew he had to look like the biggest goof ever. He saw Blair and Matt dancing and decided he liked what they were doing, so he mirrored them.

Serena loved when he deviated from Matt's moves and kissed her neck.

_Let me hear you say  
now I'll never be lonely,  
look at what you've shown me,  
never find a love like this_

"Aw," Serena said, catching sight of her brother. He was standing against the wall, looking decidedly uncomfortable. "Eric's just standing there. I wonder what happened with the table."

_'cause this life tried to keep us apart,  
you keep calling me back to your heart._

"I don't know," Dan said, "I haven't seen Jenny yet either."

"She's got to be somewhere around," Serena said, glancing over the crowd but not seeing the little blonde. "I'm more worried about Eric."

"Then lets go check on him," Dan said.

Serena grinned. She was glad Dan didn't seem bothered at being interrupted to help out her brother. She loved that about him too—he knew what was important and always put others before himself.

_Let me hear you say,  
aren't you glad you found me,  
wrap you all around me,  
never find a love like this._

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Eric!" Serena said, greeting him like she hadn't seen him only fifteen minutes ago. "Where's the table?"

"Ah, I think they are all taken," Eric said hesitantly. He'd spotted some tables with openings, but the other people at the table hadn't acted kindly to his setting up residence there. He'd been too shy to try for anything else.

"Nonsense," Serena said with a laugh. She grabbed his hand. "Watch and learn little brother."

Serena led him directly to the front of the tables, the ones situated closest to the dancing—and the most coveted. She found one with two or three people sitting, the table sat at least eight.

She walked up to the table and sat down demurely, hardly paying attention to the others at the table.

"Uh," one of the girls at the table said rather snottily, "someone's sitting there."

"Yes, someone is," Serena said arrogantly. She motioned for Eric and Dan, who had followed behind, to sit down too.

The girl and her friends didn't know what to say. They knew Serena and knew she was one of the most popular girls on the Upper East Side… but they also knew that Blair and Serena hung out together and would probably be sitting at the table too. As much as Jenny's earlier humiliation had amused them—and everyone else—they were still unsure about what to think regarding Blair. As such, they got up and left.

Eric just laughed, admiring his sister's guts. He would work on that for later reference.

Serena was about to say something else when a new song started and she had to look toward the dance floor in shock.

_I know that you've been waiting for it; I'm waiting too  
In my imagination I'd be all up on you  
I know you got that fever for me; Hundred and two  
And boy I know I feel the same  
My temperature's through the roof  
_

Blair had to stop. This was exactly why she'd told Hannah to get a live band or a different DJ. The verses of the songs were okay, but once the chorus started, she knew the chaperones would flip.

"Let's take a break," Blair said to Matt, who had almost immediately gotten into the song. "Look, Serena has a table." She grabbed his hand and tugged him along.

He shrugged and followed along. He'd been having a great time with Blair so far. He couldn't get enough of her. Dancing was the perfect excuse to get his hands on her, but he'd been careful not to offend. She'd had no problem with him thus far.

_If there's a camera up in here  
Then it's gonna leave with me when I do (I do)  
If there's a camera up in here  
Then I'd best not catch this flick on YouTube (YouTube)_

Hannah noticed Blair leaving the floor and giving her a disapproving look. Hannah didn't understand at first. She thought she'd done her best to make the gala perfect even with Hazel's mess. She started running through possible problems in her head, but couldn't figure anything out.

_'Cause if you run your mouth and brag  
About this secret rendezvous  
I will hunt you down  
_

Blair was chagrined to realize this darn song was making her think about a self absorbed ass who didn't know how to keep his mouth shut.

The thought quickly left her when they arrived at the table Serena had procured. Matt sat down and tugged her forward causing her to land on his lap.

It was his first inappropriate move of the evening.

_'Cause baby I'm up in my bidness  
Like a Wendy interview  
But this is private, between you and I  
_

"Is there a chair shortage?" she asked sarcastically.

Matt laughed and immediately let go of her. He held up his arms in surrender.

She was sitting sideways on his lap. She had turned her head to face him to ask her question. She almost stood up and moved to her own chair when she spotted Melissa mugging her from the corner of her eye.

She knew Melissa didn't know Blair could see her so she had no problem reaching her hand up and brushing Matt's bangs to the side. Melissa would have no idea that Blair was doing it to get a rise out of her.

_Touch my body  
Put me on the floor  
Wrestle me around  
Play with me some more  
Touch my body  
Throw me on the bed  
I just wanna make you feel  
Like you never did_

As Hannah continued to look around, she saw the looks on the chaperone's faces. They were looking at the dance floor with disapproval as the students danced to the lyrics of the songs rather suggestively.

Hannah realized why Blair had given her that look. Darn Hazel!

Hannah looked around and spotted Hazel trying to get Nate on the dance floor once again. Nate was too busy watching Blair play with Matt's hair.

She started off toward Hazel quickly. Hazel didn't have any clue that there was a problem, she really wasn't the brightest bulb in the box.

_Touch my body,  
__Let me wrap my thighs all around your waist, just a little taste  
Touch my body  
Know you love my curves, come on and give me what I deserve  
And touch my body_

"What are you doing?" Matt asked with a smirk. He expected Blair to chew him out and proclaim that his first strike. Instead, she was touching _him_ now.

He shifted uncomfortably when she stopped fixing his hair and smoothed her palm against his breast pocket.

"What's this?" Blair asked impishly before reaching inside his jacket to pull out the silver flask he'd concealed there.

"Liquid courage," he replied. He didn't really need any courage. He was quite sure of himself. He was just trying to be flippant and witty. He was still a bit uncertain of Blair. Whereas he wouldn't have cared before, now he didn't want to screw up.

"Courage for what?" Blair said with a quirk of her lips as she twisted the cap off.

"Good behavior," he said.

She grinned before offering the drink to him. He nodded and tilted his head back so she could give him a shot. She didn't even bother looking around to see if anyone was watching. All the chaperones would be up in arms over the song and not pay attention to one of the countless guys who had snuck alcohol into the dance.

_Boy you can put me on you like a brand new white tee  
I'll hug your body tighter than my favorite jeans  
I want you to caress me like a tropical breeze  
And float away with you in the Caribbean Sea_

Chuck shook his head. He didn't know what Blair was trying to pull, but that Blair display was completely un-Blair like. If she wasn't careful, she was going to start those slut rumors up with a vengeance. She was definitely going to have a problem if she left with Matt. Gossip Girl would probably make some insinuations. Everything she'd been working to rebuild was going to get destroyed again.

He knew that this wasn't Blair interested in a new guy—even though the sight of her on Matt's lap did piss him off—he just couldn't figure out why she was doing it.

Then he saw a flurry of apricot walking briskly to the bathroom, followed by white lace.

Melissa looked really upset about something. Kati and Is were rushing to reassure her.

Chuck shrugged it off at first, but realized that little scene was important when as soon as Melissa left the hall, Blair removed herself from Matt's lap.

_If there's a camera up in here  
Then it's gonna leave with me, when I do (I do)  
If there's a camera up in here  
Then I'd best not catch this flick on YouTube (YouTube)_

"What are you doing?!" Hazel almost shrieked to Kingston, the DJ. "Turn this off!"

"What?" he said, looking at her in confusion. "What's wrong with it?"

"You can't play this!" Hazel said. She'd been pissed when Hannah hunted her down to reprimand her on the DJ's song choice. She'd been on the verge of telling Hannah off when she noticed the looks of disapproval from the school officials herself. She'd gotten to the DJ as quickly as she could after that.

"It's Mariah Carey, she's as R&B as it gets," Kingston insisted. He didn't know what her problem was. He'd kept to her guidelines and even threw in a couple songs that were less R&B and more fun romantic pop hits.

"I said _appropriate_ R&B," Hazel hissed. "Make it appropriate! Turn this song off!"

"I can't just turn it off," Kingston said. "Everyone's into it. You ain't gonna want to see a crowd when you kill their groove."

"Turn it off!" Hazel gritted her teeth.

_'Cause if you run your mouth and brag  
About this secret rendezvous  
I will hunt you down_

Kingston removed the spindle from the record. Silence permeated the area and many startled people on the dance floor looked toward him and Hazel. Then they started booing and getting ticked.

The DJ looked at Hazel as if to say, "See, told you so."

Hazel let out a puff of air and looked at the buffoon of a music spinner. "Put something else on! Now! What are you waiting for? Hurry!"

Kingston deliberately went as slowly as possible. He didn't like this shrew at all. He'd been bummed out when he was told he couldn't play anything a little funky—that was his style—but he figured he'd deal with it for the cash.

_Please don't stop the music  
Please don't stop the music_

Everyone started clapping and laughing.

Hazel wasn't amused. Kingston laughed because he thought steam was going to come out of her ears any minute now.

So he put on a different record and mixed the new Rihanna tune into a new song by The Last Goodnight. He got on his mic for the announcement.

"Hey ladies and gents, just a little change up happening. Time for a different feel, but most definitely _appropriate_. All you beautiful ladies out there, this one's for you," he finished and stopped the mixing by turning off the Rihanna song and letting the other fill the room.

"Happy?" he looked to the blonde shrew with derision.

"For now," Hazel huffed before storming off.

_Don't stop, Don't change, Stay beautiful  
One life, Today, You're irresistible  
Get up, Get out, Stay wonderful  
All this time is waiting for you  
Don't stop, Don't change, Stay beautiful  
_

"Oh, Eric…" Blair said impishly from her seat, grinning like she knew something he didn't.

"Blair?" Eric asked. He was still feeling uncomfortable.

"Dance with me," she commanded. She knew Serena was worried Eric wouldn't have any fun, but she _did_ have plans for him.

Matt looked from Blair, across to Eric and just shrugged. It was apparent Blair was going to do whatever she wanted anyway, plus Eric wasn't a threat. Besides, as Blair stood up to wonder around the table and drag Eric out of his seat, Brandon showed up to greet Matt.

"Sup bro!" Matt said, slapping Brandon's shoulder affectionately.

Brandon's eyes were on Serena before traveling to Dan, dismissing him, and going back.

"Dude, how'd you land the infamous Waldorf?" Brandon said out of the corner of his mouth.

Serena grew uncomfortable. She wasn't in the mood to be privy to boys acting like "boys"—especially when they were talking about her best friend—so she grabbed Dan's arm and dragged him up to the dance floor again. Brandon had also tried to hit on her at the PVD party but she'd managed to dissuade his interest rather quickly. She didn't want him trying it again in front of Dan.

_Poison kisses in the rain you were calling out my name  
Laughing like the joke was on me_

Singin... Ba da da ba da da Ba da da ba da da Ba ba ba ba da

Blair laughed as she and Eric tried a modified tango move for the "ba da da" parts. It didn't matter that they might look weird, Eric looked like he was having fun and that's all that mattered to her right now.

_Don't stop, Don't change, Stay beautiful  
_

Eric grinned at her as he lifted one of their entwined hands and twirled her around. She spun and they started a side to side shuffle. Eric van der Woodsen _did_ know how to dance after all.

_One life, Today, Its undeniable  
Get up, Get out, Stay wonderful  
All this time is waiting for you  
Don't stop, Don't change, Stay beautiful_

Serena and Dan joined Blair and Eric to finish out the song. Midway through Dan looked at Serena in confusion.

"Why does the DJ keep watching you?" he asked, looking toward the guy who hadn't taken his eyes off Serena since they hit the dance floor again.

Serena had no idea what Dan was talking about so she looked toward the guy and tried not to laugh as he waggled his eyebrows suggestively and lifted a certain record, twirling it on his finger. She knew that record could only be the Def Leoppard's _Pour Some Sugar On Me_ that she had to flirt him into playing last week.

Serena shook her head at the guy with a hint of a smile before turning back to Dan.

"He DJed for Matt last week. I requested a song. I guess the impression was lasting," Serena said with a shrug.

Dan tugged her into his arms and started dancing more confidently, holding her hands and sweeping her out and back in. He was definitely showing some improvement, or so he believed based on Serena's glee.

_All this time is waiting for you  
All this time is waiting for you_

As the song came to an end, Blair walked with Eric to the edge of the dance floor.

"You know, that girl over there looks a little lonely," Blair said with a small nod toward Elise who was standing with Kati, Is, and Melissa, looking a little lost. She knew that Elise was excited to come to her first big dance but she didn't seem to be enjoying her self much. Blair intended to change that.

"Uh, yeah," Eric said nervously. "So?"

"Ask her to dance!" Blair exclaimed.

"Blair…" Eric said, shifting his feet, wondering if he could get out of this. The girl looked nice, but he didn't even know her.

"Her name is Elise, she's sweet and she'll say 'yes'," Blair insisted. "Plus, you two will look perfect together."

That was when Eric realized that the blue dress the girl was wearing matched the shirt his sister had forced him to wear with his suit.

"Did you have a hand in Serena's dress up game?" Eric asked knowingly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Blair said, looking to the side as she clearly tried to hold back her laugh. "Just ask her to dance!"

"Well…" Eric started to agree but was interrupted by a male voice.

"Blair… would you like to dance?"

All jovialness left Blair's face as she looked at her ex-boyfriend.

"I'll just go," Eric said hesitantly. He had a feeling Nate didn't want him here for this conversation. "I'll ask her, don't worry," he hastened to say. Blair seemed to be a little uncomfortable and he wanted to reassure her.

He steeled himself from his nervousness and headed off in the direction of the cute brunette.

"So?" Nate asked, extending a hand.

Blair wasn't sure what to do. The last time she saw him things hadn't ended very well. In her stupor, she reached out to accept his hand.

Nate led her to the dance floor as a new song began.

_You took my hand, you showed me how  
You promised me you'd be around  
Uh huh, that's right  
_

Blair wasn't sure whether to put her hands on his shoulders or not. She couldn't even look at him as she started moving.

"Surprised to see you here with him," Nate said. He wasn't sure why he'd decided to talk to her like this. In the middle of the dance floor definitely wasn't the best location, but he wanted to talk to her and thinking about her all night without saying a word wasn't helping his situation.

Blair didn't respond, just kept dancing. She heard him but she didn't care. She didn't know why she'd agreed to this dance.

_I took your words and I believed  
In everything you said to me  
Yeah huh, that's right_

"I mean, you told me you were coming with Chuck…" Nate went on, trying to start some sort of conversation.

Blair still didn't say anything. She wasn't going to discuss Chuck or Matt with Nate. She didn't want to talk to him at all, she decided.

Nate grew frustrated when she continued her silent treatment. "Are you going to say anything to me at all?" he growled out.

She stopped dancing and looked up at him. He looked like he was angry with her. Why was he dancing with her or trying to talk to her if he was just going to give her a hard time?

_If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone  
I'd stand up and punch them out  
Cause they're all wrong  
I know better  
Cause you said forever and ever  
Who knew_

She spun around and walked away from him.

_Remember when we were such fools  
And so convinced and just too cool  
Oh no, no no  
_

Nate swore and took off after her. He caught up with her before she could go down a hall to, presumably, the ladies room. It was better to talk to her over here anyway.

Blair turned around when his hand came down on her shoulder.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Blair said furiously. Her stupor was gone and in its place was her own anger. Why did he have to come around and try to confuse her? He had to wait until she had almost convinced herself she could go on without him before popping up again. Serena kept insisting that Chuck _and_ Nate weren't good for her.

Blair had tried to deny that, but Serena pointed out that Blair had been seeing Nate when the little "problem" started. Blair couldn't dispute with that. She and Serena had talked after school today about everything. Blair decided to be more serious about the visit with the psychiatrist on Saturday, and she was adamant about trying to do better… or at least she thought she was.

"I'm trying Blair," Nate said. "I can't. I didn't think I could ever forgive you, but not being with you is harder than being alone."

_I wish I could touch you again  
I wish I could still call you friend  
I'd give anything  
_

Blair clenched her eyes shut. Those were words she'd always wanted to hear from him. And he was basically saying that he _did_ forgive her. While the relief was great, she still couldn't give in. She knew that Serena was right. Blair needed to take the time to take care of herself before trying to get involved with someone again.

"I… I… thank you?" Blair finally said.

Nate looked confused. Why was she thanking him?

"That you could forgive me… it's… that's big," Blair said. She only stuttered and stammered around Nate Archibald. Why? She hated whenever she sounded like an idiot.

"I just think we shouldn't rush back together," she finally breathed out. She also wasn't going to start hanging with him at this gala. She was here with Matt. If she started going around with Nate in the middle of all this, everyone was going to talk about her again.

_When someone said count your blessings now before they're long gone  
I guess I just didn't know how, I was all wrong  
They knew better_

Nate wanted to argue with her, but he knew she was right. He'd taken her for granted too many times. He'd had it all and screwed it up. He'd thrown away everything. _This_ was what Chuck had been talking about during the Lost Weekend. He was warning Nate to count his blessings before they were all gone. Only Chuck Bass, a guy lacking in human affection, would be able to see how lucky Nate was.

Even Nate hadn't been able to see it.

"So, what?" Nate asked, perplexed. "You're just going to be with Matt now?" He didn't like that idea one bit.

Blair shook her head, amused. "I needed a date. Matt's just… a friend, I guess." She'd been having great fun with Matt all night, but it wasn't anything serious. Though the fact that Nate seemed to be having a problem with her being with him was making her want to laugh.

_Still you said forever and ever  
Who knew  
_

Matt was laughing at something Brandon was saying when he happened to glance toward the dance floor and saw Eric with a girl who definitely wasn't Blair.

He looked around, wondering where she was. He saw Serena and Dan, but they were dancing and Blair wasn't around them at all. Dan seemed to be looking around, but Matt figured it wasn't for the same reason that he was.

When he couldn't see Blair, he couldn't stop himself from standing up and strolling toward Eric, interrupting the dancing freshmen.

"Where's Blair?" he asked.

Eric looked around and shrugged. "Last I saw, she was dancing with Nate."

Matt could feel himself getting a little hot under the collar. He left the two to their dance and went searching through the dance floor for _his_ date. He knew he didn't really have any hold over Blair, but she was supposed to be with him. What was she doing dancing with her ex?

_Yeah yeah  
I'll keep you locked in my head  
Until we meet again, Until we  
Until we meet again  
_

"We'll work this out," Nate said firmly.

"Maybe," Blair responded. "But not tonight," she said pointedly.

Nate nodded. It was the hardest thing in the world to let her go, but he'd said his piece. He didn't know what tomorrow or next week would hold, but at least the air was clear. She _had_ to still love him, even if she hadn't said it tonight. She knew he was willing to forgive her and try again. That was all that mattered at this point.

_And I won't forget you my friend  
What happened  
_

Blair gave him a small smile and was on the verge of turning and returning to her table when she felt someone grab a hold of her wrist and pull her backward.

She tried not to stumble as she found herself clamped up against Matt's side.

"Archibald," Matt spat out.

"Cunningham," Nate snapped back. He could feel his earlier anger at this jerk starting to rise again. Seeing him with Blair wasn't helping either. Matt wrapped his arm around her shoulder and seemed to be staking a claim.

"Matt," Blair said breathlessly. "I was just about to—" She tried to explain that she was going back to join him, but he interrupted her.

"Stay away from her," Matt warned Nate, not even hearing Blair's words. He'd seen red when he spotted Nate and Blair talking privately. Nate had his hand on Blair's arm, and it was all Matt could do not to race across the room and slam his fist into Nate's face. It was enough that he'd grabbed Blair's wrist a little too hard.

_If someone said three years from now  
You'd be long gone_

Nate laughed. "Or what?" He wasn't in the mood to hassle with Matt, not tonight anyway. He already knew that Blair wasn't really interested in the guy; he needed to just chill out. Of course, the remarks against his dad still deserved Matt a good thrashing.

Matt let go of Blair and got up closer in Nate's face, clearly rising to the threat.

_I'd stand up and punch them out!_

Blair looked around and was worried people would start noticing the potential fight. She walked toward Matt and slid her arm around his waist.

"Calm down," Blair said sweetly, but firmly. "It's okay. I was going back to you. Nate was just leaving." She looked to Nate with a nod. She was disheartened when Nate chose to ignore the look.

_Cause they're all wrong and  
That last kiss I'll cherish  
Until we meet again  
_

She couldn't let Matt and Nate cause a scene over her. She was starting to get anxious. She had to get Matt to back down. She grabbed his hand and threaded her fingers through his, trying to distract him. He clamped his fingers around hers, but he still wasn't moving. She noticed his other hand was forming a fist.

"Or—" Matt started to say, but Blair interrupted him this time.

She reached her free hand up to his jaw line, cupping his face and turning him to face her.

He was so startled at the contact, he turned easily. He was momentarily distracted. Blair gave him the sweetest and sexiest smile in her arsenal.

"Dance with me?" she asked, batting her eyelashes before gazing into his eyes.

He breathed and, with one last quick glance at Nate, nodded.

He followed her as she led him back to the dance floor.

_And time makes it harder  
I wish I could remember  
But I keep your memory  
You visit me in my sleep  
My darling, who knew_

Nate just watched them go, feeling disgruntled. He wanted to throw the first punch when Blair touched Matt, but he held back. Blair wouldn't have done that at all if Nate had backed away when she motioned for him to do so. He knew it would be bad if he started a fight in the middle of the dance. It would be even worse for Blair. He should have just backed down… but he couldn't.

And now he had to watch them head out to the dance floor where a slow song was starting. He tried not to let his jealousy get the better of him when Blair rested her head on Matt's shoulder and they wrapped their arms around each other. If Blair hadn't said two minutes ago that she wasn't interested in Matt, he would think she was _very_ interested as she seemed to snuggle against him.

Nate had to leave. He'd done what he came for, and he'd made an appearance. He'd try calling Blair tomorrow and see if they could get together for a "friendly" lunch or something. He wasn't rushing… he was just being spontaneous. Yeah, that was it.

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Chuck was surrounded by friends at his table. He decided to use tonight to smooth things over with the guys. He wasn't interested in any other girl besides Blair anyway.

His male bonding didn't mean he wasn't keeping an eye on her. He was still plagued by the idea that something was seriously wrong with Blair. But those thoughts kept fleeing every time he saw Blair smiling and looking like she was having the time of her life. She was so beautiful and so alive. There couldn't be anything wrong with her.

A staff member came in with another scotch, he leaned back to savor it, watching the other guys in amusement. They were forced to drink punch that they each spiked with their own silver flasks. Most of the guys couldn't wait for an after party, though the only one they'd heard about was Hazel's. The boys were in the mood for something a little more… fun than that was bound to be.

Chuck had already decided that he would probably host a little after party. It would be easy considering his suite was in the same place as the gala. But he was putting things off for a little while. He still had one more thing he wanted to do tonight and he didn't want the guys to start bugging him about leaving early. Sometimes males were as whiney as females.

He saw Nate manage to get Blair by herself and almost choked on his drink. He knew that Blair had to find out the truth from Nate, but he didn't take that to mean Nate might be willing to make amends with Blair. As Chuck watched, he could tell that was _exactly_ what was going on.

Chuck couldn't believe it. Blair even tried to get away from Nate, but Nate followed _her_. Had Nate forgiven her? What were they talking about? Chuck was getting worried now. He should have taken the opportunity to talk to her when he saw her leave Matt to dance with Eric… but he was in the process of getting the ball rolling with the guys. Nate must have been paying attention too and figured that for his chance.

Chuck lost track of them for a while, but saw Blair reappear with Matt a short time later.

He was almost relieved before they started dancing again. Blair was definitely all over Matt at this point. What was wrong with her? He started getting a little ticked.

_I just want you close  
Where you can stay forever  
You can be sure  
That it will only get better  
_

Then he saw Nate leave the hall. That was when he forgot all about his jealousy, shocked instead. Had Blair turned Nate away? Did Blair have the opportunity to go back to her precious Nate and turn him down? That was certainly the way it seemed to Chuck.

But why? Blair wouldn't have done that for Matt… did it mean she still had feelings for _him_? Chuck tried to pipe down on the flash of hope he felt.

He needed to get Blair alone but he wasn't sure how to achieve that.

_You and me together  
Through the days and nights  
I don't worry 'cause  
Everything's going to be alright  
People keep talking they can say what they like  
But all I know is everything's going to be alright_

Then he spotted Melissa with Kati and Is. It wouldn't technically be considered manipulating Blair if he convinced Melissa to try to get Matt's attention… would it?

He shook the thought aside. He wasn't going to cause a scene. He was just going to get a few moments alone with Blair. He just needed to figure out how to achieve that.

_No one, no one, no one  
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling  
No one, no one, no one  
Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you  
Can get in the way of what I feel for you_

"I haven't seen her at all," Dan said, still looking around.

Serena shook her head. "She's somewhere, relax." She loved this song and wanted to dance with him to it. Thus far, Dan hadn't felt the same way. He'd been getting more and more anxious when he realized he hadn't seen Jenny once all evening.

"Where?" Dan asked. He had left his phone in his jacket pocket, and Serena had left her phone in her suite. He was about to go get his phone any minute now.

"I don't know, somewhere?" Serena said with a shrug and a smile, curling closer to him.

"You don't understand," Dan said. "The dress she's wearing is noticeable. I should have seen her by now. And she's not with her friends." He had managed to find Kati, Is, Melissa, and Hazel all evening but hadn't once spotted his sister.

"I'm going to go get my phone," Dan finally insisted.

Serena watched him go, feeling slightly upset although she knew she shouldn't be. She just wanted one perfect evening that didn't involve some sort of drama caused by Jenny.

_When the rain is pouring down  
And my heart is hurting  
You will always be around  
This I know for certain  
_

Blair knew she was dancing a little too closely with Matt, but she was so relieved that she diverted a scene that she couldn't help cuddling up close to him. The earlier abruptness of him grabbing her was replaced with him being as gentle as possible. And his broad chest was definitely comfortable. She hugged him close as they swayed to the song, just relaxing her head on his shoulder.

_You and me together  
Through the days and nights  
I don't worry 'cause  
Everything's going to be alright  
People keep talking they can say what they like  
But all I know is everything's going to be alright_

She tried not to think about everything that had just happened with Nate. She couldn't deny the slight hope she'd felt at his words, but she knew she needed a long break from him. She was as certain of that as she was certain that Chuck wasn't going to be allowed in her life again. She hadn't felt the anger yet toward Chuck, but she knew it was coming. She'd felt the tears and pain already. Now she was mostly tired of having to deal with Chuck. Yes, she was rebuilding her reputation, and maybe things could have worked with Chuck for a while… but not after she found out what he'd done to her.

She'd given him one of the most important things in her life. She shared some of her most intimate moments with him. She let him do so many things to her… and he turned around and made her look like a slut. He destroyed everything else that was important to her. He wasn't happy with just the one. He wanted all of her, and he got it.

But not anymore. Things were going to be alright now. She had the firm support of Serena. She had her gumption and her rapidly increasing popularity. She even had a plan for later that evening to rise even further up to reclaim her throne.

She would focus on surrounding herself with friends. She might even go on a few mock dates with Matt because no emotional stress would be involved. She would continue to help Elise make a place in the world of Manhattan's elite. And she would kick this eating disorder once and for all.

_No one, no one, no one  
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling  
No one, no one, no one  
Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you  
Can get in the way of what I feel_

"May I cut in?" came a male voice.

Matt gave Eric a perplexed look. Where had the little blue dressed girl gone? Why was Eric interrupting with this particular dance?

He opened his mouth to deny him when Blair accepted the invitation and went straight to Eric.

Matt stood there not liking this change in events. He tried to cover his anger by pretending to joke with Eric, "Just bring her back when you're done." He forced a smile. He didn't know if he succeeded in making Eric believe he was joking or not. He didn't really care. Last time she danced with Eric, she ended up with Nate. He didn't want any repeats.

He started to leave the dance floor but was halted by an apricot whirl.

"Matt," Melissa said flirtatiously, trying to gaze into his eyes knowingly. "My turn… you did promise me a dance."

Having nothing better to do, and trying to remember if he had told Melissa he'd dance with her, he found himself tugged along back to the dance floor.

He didn't notice the guy watching the exchange, pleased that his plan was falling into place.

_I know some people search the world  
To find something like what we have  
I know people will try, try to divide something so real  
So till the end of time I'm telling you there ain't no one  
_

"Dan, wait up!" Serena said, finally deciding to follow him.

He gave the slip of paper to the clerk and waited impatiently for his coat.

"I need to find out what happened to her, Serena," Dan said.

"I know, I just wanted to come with you," she insisted.

"I have ten missed calls from Jenny," Dan said, cursing as he held up the phone to call her back, not bothering to listen to the voice messages first.

"Jen, where are you? I just checked my phone and I have—" he was interrupted as she started pouring out the entire story.

He grew silent and stoic as he listened to his sister cry and explain what happened and why she couldn't go back to the gala to find him because she was too scared of how everyone would react.

_No one, no one, no one  
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling  
No one, no one, no one  
Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you  
Can get in the way of what I feel for you_

"What happened? What's going on?" Serena asked worriedly, not liking the expression on his face.

_oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _

He whispered something to Jenny about being there soon before he clicked the phone shut.

"Dan?" she asked, bewildered, as he started back toward the ballroom.

"You know how you prefer having only one brother?" he asked over his shoulder. "Your wish is my command."

Serena hesitated briefly, trying to follow his words. Then she understood that whatever had happened with Jenny had something to do with Chuck.

She raced after Dan, wanting to know more, and wanting to stop him before he created a scene in the middle of a school dance—and got himself in trouble.

This night had just taken a dramatic turn for the worse.

Serena braced herself for what lay ahead.

_oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh_

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_To be continued…_

**Songs**

"Love Like This" by Natasha Bedingfield

"Touch My Body" by Mariah Carey

"Please Don't Stop The Music" by Rihanna

"Stay Beautiful" by The Last Goodnight

"Who Knew" by Pink

"No One" by Alicia Keys


	23. Chapter 22

**REMINDER! REMINDER! REMINDER!**

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about the new episodes! Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

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**Previously on Aftershock**

_Chapter 21 (Part TWO of Sweetheart Gala)_

"Her name is Elise, she's sweet and she'll say 'yes'," Blair insisted. "Plus, you two will look perfect together."

That was when Eric realized that the blue dress the girl was wearing matched the shirt his sister had forced him to wear with his suit.

"Did you have a hand in Serena's dress up game?" Eric asked knowingly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Blair said, looking to the side as she clearly tried to hold back her laugh. "Just ask her to dance!"

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_Chapter 21 (Part TWO of Sweetheart Gala)_

Nate said, "I didn't think I could ever forgive you, but not being with you is harder than being alone."

Blair clenched her eyes shut. Those were words she'd always wanted to hear from him. And he was basically saying that he _did_ forgive her. While the relief was great, she still couldn't give in. She knew that Serena was right. Blair needed to take the time to take care of herself before trying to get involved with someone again.

"I… I… thank you?" Blair finally said.

Nate looked confused. Why was she thanking him?

"That you could forgive me… it's… that's big," Blair said. She only stuttered and stammered around Nate Archibald. Why? She hated whenever she sounded like an idiot.

"I just think we shouldn't rush back together," she finally breathed out. She also wasn't going to start hanging with him at this gala. She was here with Matt. If she started going around with Nate in the middle of all this, everyone was going to talk about her again.

Nate wanted to argue with her, but he knew she was right. He'd taken her for granted too many times. He'd had it all and screwed it up. He'd thrown away everything. _This_ was what Chuck had been talking about during the Lost Weekend. He was warning Nate to count his blessings before they were all gone. Only Chuck Bass, a guy lacking in human affection, would be able to see how lucky Nate was.

Even Nate hadn't been able to see it.

"So, what?" Nate asked, perplexed. "You're just going to be with Matt now?" He didn't like that idea one bit.

Blair shook her head, amused. "I needed a date. Matt's just… a friend, I guess." She'd been having great fun with Matt all night, but it wasn't anything serious. Though the fact that Nate seemed to be having a problem with her being with him was making her want to laugh.

"We'll work this out," Nate said firmly.

"Maybe," Blair responded. "But not tonight," she said pointedly.

Nate nodded. It was the hardest thing in the world to let her go, but he'd said his piece. He didn't know what tomorrow or next week would hold, but at least the air was clear. She _had_ to still love him, even if she hadn't said it tonight. She knew he was willing to forgive her and try again. That was all that mattered at this point.

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_Chapter 9 (the night of the PVD Party, before Blair knew the truth)_

"You care about Chuck," Serena shook her head again when it looked like Blair was going to deny it.

"B, you cared about him. That's why this hurts so much. That's why you gave in to him tonight. If he was any other guy you would have pulled on his hair, smacked him around a little, kicked him where it hurts… but it was _Chuck_," Serena enunciated the name before going on.

"It was Chuck, and even after everything he said to you, you still care about him. You can't just erase that, just like you couldn't erase your feelings for Nate," Serena said.

Serena finally understood everything. She hurt so badly for Blair. She knew how horrible Chuck could be…and for Blair to actually _fall_ for him. Blair hadn't said those words… she would probably never even admit it to herself, but Blair had probably already been at least a quarter-of-the-way in love with Chuck.

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_Chapter 19 (After Blair learns the truth)_

"So, that's it?" Chuck asked. "Just going to give up? Because I can't."

"The minute you said anything to Gossip Girl you should have known there was no possibility of a future together," Blair said firmly.

. . .

"Yes," she nodded as she continued. "I _will_ get it all back. But you, that's one thing I don't want back."

"Blair," Chuck started.

"I can't believe I trusted you again," Blair said angrily. "I _knew_ you couldn't be trusted. I _knew_ you only cared about yourself. Fool me _twice_…" she shrugged off the old saying. He would know what she meant.

"I care, Waldorf," Chuck insisted. "I want to be with you."

Blair laughed with disbelief and sarcasm. She stopped and shook her head. "No, you don't. If you cared about me, you would have never done that _to_ me. You did it out of spite. You _knew_ how much it would hurt me. Once again, you did something for your own enjoyment. Well, I hope it was worth it."

"It wasn't," Chuck said. "It wasn't worth it and it wasn't… if I could, I'd take it back, but I can't."

"Like I said at the beginning of this conversation," Blair said. "It doesn't matter. Nothing matters.

"I don't want you in my life anymore," she finished.

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**Friday, February 15****th****. ****The Sweetheart Gala PART THREE**

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"Ladies…"

"_Chuck_," Isabel and Kati said simultaneously and with enough disgust that he knew they weren't quite over the Blair thing. It didn't matter though; he wasn't there to talk to them.

He leaned toward Melissa and whispered in her ear, "A word…"

She looked confused for half a second, but she nodded in agreement. She had no problem with Chuck Bass. After the whole fiasco with Jenny's sticky fingers, she was not about to dis one of society's richest and well-to-do members because Jenny commanded her to.

"I have a proposition for you," he drawled out with an intense look that, frankly, scared her and excited her at the same time. She could hardly look him in the eye. Chuck Bass had that effect on most people.

"Okay?" Melissa asked breathlessly.

"Matthew Cunningham," he answered.

Her attention was already solely on Chuck, but at the mention of her heart's desire, she finally made eye contact as she tried to figure out what he meant by that.

A sly grin formed across Chuck's face and Melissa began to connect the dots. It had to be true that Chuck _dated_ Blair secretly. He wasn't saying it, but she got the feeling he liked seeing Blair with Matt about as much as Melissa did.

"What do I have to do?" Melissa asked, responding with a sly grin of her own.

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"Couldn't get enough of dancing with me, hmm?" Blair asked.

"What can I say, you rock my world," Eric replied, grinning at his pun.

Blair just laughed and continued the slow dance to Alicia Keys' "No One". She was sort of glad that Eric had interrupted. She was starting to get a little uncomfortable with the close dancing with Matt. Not that he tried anything, but her wrist was still hurting a little from him grabbing her when he found her talking to Nate.

"_So…_," Blair said impishly. "How's Elise? I see the two of you have danced quite a bit together."

His ears turned red and he looked away bashfully. "She's, uh, really nice."

"Just nice, hmm?" Blair asked, knowingly.

"And funny," he continued.

"I agree," Blair said, grinning at the look on his face. "So what did you two talk about?"

"Sisters and their friends and how they love to match make," Eric said with a deadpan expression on his face.

Blair laughed. "Admit it, you like her." She didn't see how anyone _couldn't_ like Elise.

Eric couldn't maintain his serious expression for long. He broke into a smile, "Well, yeah, I guess I do."

She really was funny. He liked that she lacked the confidence of Blair and Serena. He was a little wary of girls who were too confident because he lacked so much of it himself. He preferred to get to know girls who weren't overly confident because they were so cute when they were unsure of themselves.

He remembered their first exchange of the evening after Blair roped him into going to talk to Elise.

"_Hi, I'm Eric van der Woodsen," he said, smiling slightly, a little uncertain._

"_Hello," she said nervously. She glanced toward Kati, Is, Melissa, and Hazel but none of them seemed to be paying attention to the exchange. She was hoping none of them would say something to make her look like an idiot in front of Eric._

"_Would you like to dance?" he asked, figuring asking directly would be the best way. He knew guys used pick up lines and what not… but he wasn't trying to "pick her up"… he was just trying to dance with her. _

"_Oh," Elise said, if possible she became even more nervous, "I'm not that good of a dancer."_

"_Well, if you don't want to," he remarked, oddly slightly disappointed, before he started to walk away._

"_Oh, I want to!" she said quickly. In her nervousness, she reached out and took a hold of his arm._

_He turned back and looked down at her hand on his arm._

"_I just… I really am not that good at dancing," Elise said, "Seriously, I've tried to learn but it's impossible." She removed her hand from his arm like she was burned._

"_Nothing is impossible," Eric said, ever the optimist._

"_Anyone who can say that has never tried slamming a revolving door," Elise joked. She always said inappropriate things when she got really nervous. She hoped Eric didn't think she was an idiot._

_Eric paused, skipping a beat, before he laughed. This girl was funny and cute and he didn't care if she couldn't dance._

"_Just follow me, I'll show you some moves," he reached out his hand for her._

_She took a deep breath and weighed her options, almost not reaching back. Then Isabel tapped her shoulder. "Go on Little E," Is said with a smile. "It'll be fine."_

_Surprised that Isabel was being nice to her, she stared stupidly at the girl for a minute before Eric just took a hold of her hand and tugged her along. "See? Even Isabel thinks nothing is impossible… but I can totally see her trying to slam that door."_

Eric grinned, remembering the sound of Elise's laughter at his joke.

"So you approve, I approve, she approves," Blair said, "my work here is done!"

"Yes, because it was totally your doing and no one else had anything to do with it," Eric replied with laughing sarcasm.

"Don't hate me 'cus I'm beautiful," Blair said, flipping her hair back and grinning.

The song was coming to an end and Blair started to let go of Eric. "Well, I guess its time to return me to my date."

"Not so fast," Eric said softly, looking at something behind Blair's shoulder.

"What?" Blair asked. "Another dance?"

"Someone else would like a dance with you," Eric said. He tilted his head, his eyebrows arched to someone behind Blair.

He felt a little bad about putting Blair on the spot. He knew from Serena that Chuck wasn't the best guy in the world, but the guy had been nothing but nice to him… and when he approached Eric and asked him for help with his little plan, Eric couldn't refuse.

While part of him was excited that Chuck had invited him to the after party he was throwing (a blatant bribe, but Eric didn't care), another part of him—the deep intellectual part—could see that Chuck actually had feelings for Blair and really wanted to talk to her.

So he did as Chuck bid. He asked Blair to dance to get Matt away from Blair then waited until the end of the song to give her to Chuck.

Blair turned around, curiously, but turned back toward Eric when she saw Chuck.

"_Eric_," Blair insisted, "keep dancing with me."

"Sorry, Blair," Eric said as he disengaged himself from Blair's hold. "Time for a little match making of my own."

Blair watched him walk away, mouth open in disbelief.

She started to leave, but was held to the spot by Chuck taking hold of her hand and swooping in front of her before she could move.

"Just one dance," he murmured.

_Closed off from love  
I didn't need the pain  
_

She didn't even look at him. She tore her hand away and tried to leave. He wouldn't take 'no' for an answer though. He took a hold of her hand again and got in front of her once again.

She spun around and tried to get away, but he didn't let go of her hand this time. He used his grip to spin her back toward him.

_Once or twice was enough  
And it was all in vain  
_

She started to struggle, still not looking at him when he said, "You're causing a scene."

She froze.

_Time starts to pass  
Before you know it you're frozen_

"People are having fun, not even noticing that Blair Waldorf is currently standing with Chuck Bass," he murmured into her ear. "Just relax before they do notice."

She stopped resisting, but she still didn't look at him. She shuffled her feet, swaying, putting on a show. She couldn't be near him. She told him she didn't want him in her life. She thought he had accepted her words. She thought he had understood that it was over forever. She couldn't be with someone who could hurt her the way he had.

"Look at me," he said. He grasped his other hand around her waist and pulled her closer. He got the result he wanted when she jerked her head up and finally made eye contact. The song playing picked up the beat and they started moving together.

_But something happened  
For the very first time with you  
_

He didn't say anything else yet, just looked at her intently. He didn't know what he wanted to say anyway… all he knew was that he was currently holding her. His little plan had fallen into place. Melissa just needed to keep up her end and make sure Matt continued to dance with her through the next song. She was also supposed to make sure they stayed on the other end of the dance floor where Matt wouldn't be able to see who Blair was with. Thus far, she had succeeded.

_My heart melts into the ground  
Found something true  
_

Now he needed to get through to Blair—the most difficult task he'd set for himself.

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"Dan, stop!" Serena said loudly as she finally caught up with Dan. He had to pause to look for Chuck when he came back into the ballroom. He'd finally spotted him, and he was trying to get through the crowd when Serena caught up.

"I can't be_lieve_ him," Dan muttered, still trying to force his way through and pushing Serena's arm away.

"Dan, you can't do this, not here and not now," Serena grabbed his hand and pulled hard.

"I need to do this Serena," Dan insisted, trying to pull away.

"He's with Blair!" Serena said, "You can't do this right _now_."

"Yes, I can," Dan said. He started walking toward Chuck again, making Serena tag along with him.

"I don't know why Blair's with him, but I do know this," Serena began. "If you go over there and embarrass her, you're going to make things worse for _her_, not Chuck. Just stop!"

Dan paused and glanced toward Blair before looking back at Serena. His features showed how much he wanted to keep going after Chuck. He was clearly ticked off about something.

"Just wait. Tell me what Jenny said," Serena explained. "The dance will be over soon and _then_ you can…well… _talk_ to Chuck. I'll go with you. Please, don't make things worse for Blair. She can't take much more."

Dan sighed and finally agreed.

"Thank you," Serena said, pulling him close and wrapping her arms around him. "Now, let's sit down and you can tell me what's going on."

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_And everyone's looking round  
Thinking I'm going crazy_

"What part of 'I don't want you in my life' did you not understand?" Blair snapped. She was angry that she was being forced to dance with him. She had no doubt in her mind that if she tried to get away again, he would cause a scene. Always manipulating and trying to get his way—didn't he ever learn?

"What part of "I can't give up' did _you_ not understand?" Chuck murmured in response.

_But I don't care what they say  
I'm in love with you  
_

She frowned and looked away.

He could tell she was getting angry. That was a welcome change over the emotionless state he'd left her in yesterday. He would have preferred her throwing things at him or yelling. Her acting emotionless meant that she didn't care. If she was angry, it was possible she really did care.

_They try to pull me away  
But they don't know the truth  
_

"Didn't expect you to get a date so quick," he said, wondering if he could make her angry enough to reveal something more, "Trying to get a rise out of me? Should I be flattered?"

She looked at him with those fierce eyes again, "Not everything is about _you_. Going with Matt had _nothing_ to do with you. Get over yourself."

_My heart's crippled by the vein  
That I keep on closing  
_

"Then why?" he hated himself for asking, but he really was curious. Was it just to make Melissa upset? He knew the girl had a thing for the doofus, and he knew that Blair might be trying to pull one on her.

"He asked me," she said simply, shrugging her shoulders.

"So did I," he murmured.

"Hmm… go to the gala with someone who made me look like a slut in the eyes of everyone we know _or_ go the gala with someone who is a _great_ dancer, incredibly sexy, and _very_ attentive to my needs?" Blair said with a twisted smile and a raised eyebrow. "Seems like a no-brainer."

_You cut me open and I _

_Keep bleeding  
_

"Blair…" he began. "I'm sorry. I said it Sunday, I said it on the yacht, I said it yesterday. I've apologized a million different ways. I've tried to make up for it."

_Keep, keep bleeding love  
I keep bleeding  
I keep, keep bleeding love  
_

"I didn't even sleep with you," he said. "Shouldn't that say something?"

_Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding love  
_

Blair clenched her eyes shut, having a flash back to that day in her bedroom when they were making out and she tried to progress things further. She had tried so hard to put everything out of her mind, to push it all away like it had never happened. His talking about it was making it fresh in her mind and everything just made her hurt that much more.

"I can't believe I let you touch me," Blair said, disgust evident in her voice.

_You cut me open_

"You know you liked it," Chuck murmured, switching tactics. "Admit it Waldorf, you like me too."

"No," Blair said firmly. "I don't."

"I think you do," he murmured again, making contact with her eyes, not letting her look away, "You wanted to be with me. You said it yourself. You even said you regretted going back to Nate. We've both made a lot of mistakes Waldorf. Just let it go…" he drawled out.

_Trying hard not to hear  
But they talk so loud  
_

She looked away again, unable to look in his eyes. Whenever he looked at her like that, she could feel herself starting to give in. She wasn't going to do it again. She wasn't going to forgive him. She couldn't.

_Their piercing sounds fill my ears  
Try to fill me with doubt  
_

"I can't," she said. She tried to fight back the pressure behind her eyes. She would not lose her composure in front of him. She wouldn't.

_Yet I know that the goal  
Is to keep me from falling  
_

"Yes, you can," he said. He lifted a hand to her face and turned her back to look at him. "I only want _you_, Blair."

His eyes were doing that thing again, and she couldn't tear herself away. She could feel the tears start to well. She didn't know what he was doing to her. Why couldn't she pull away? Why was she just standing there?

_But nothing's greater  
Than the rush that comes with your embrace  
_

Why wasn't she moving away when he lowered his head and brushed his lips across hers? She was barely breathing. How was he doing this to her? Why couldn't he just leave her alone? He always hurt her.

_And in this world of loneliness  
I see your face _

When she didn't pull away after he kissed her, he kissed her again, pulling her close, wrapping his arms around her.

_Yet everyone around me  
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe  
_

He pulled back and looked into her eyes, waiting for a response. He wanted to just take her hand and pull her outside, away from everyone else. He wanted to take her to his suite and forget any of this mess had ever happened. He just wanted to be with her.

_But I don't care what they say  
I'm in love with you  
_

His hand was still cupping the side of her face, so he slid his fingertips along her jaw line, tracing her perfect features.

_They try to pull me away  
But they don't know the truth  
_

"Blair…" he whispered.

She couldn't stop herself. She felt one tear slip down from the corner of her eye. She didn't want to cry. She never wanted him to see her cry. She could feel the sobs building in her chest, the same ones she had fought back all day yesterday. She swore to herself that she had cried all the tears she would ever cry over Chuck Bass. She swore to herself that she had no feelings for him. She swore to herself that he meant nothing to her anymore. Why was he making this so difficult?

_My heart's crippled by the vein  
That I keep on closing  
_

And then a sob broke through. She gasped and pulled away. He didn't try to stop her this time. All he did was reach a hand toward her, silently asking her to stay with him.

She didn't.

"You're… y-you're," her voice broke, "not good for me," she whispered before she fled, not caring if anyone saw her running from Chuck. It was bad enough that she'd just kissed him in the middle of the dance floor. She prayed no one saw that, especially not Matt.

_You cut me open and I_

He watched her go, hearing the words that Serena had given Dan earlier. He didn't know what that meant then, and he knew even less what it meant now.

_Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding love  
I keep bleeding  
I keep, keep bleeding love  
_

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He'd gotten further than he thought he would. She needed more time obviously, but he'd keep working on her. Hell, he'd even gotten her to kiss him.

_Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding love  
_

He needed to find out what it meant though, the thing her and Serena kept saying. Why was he so bad for Blair? Why was Nate? And what _had_ happened during the exchange between Nate and Blair earlier? He'd forgotten to bring up that subject…well, he hadn't forgotten, he just hadn't wanted to know just yet.

He knew her being with Matt was a fluke, but dancing and talking with Nate… that could be a problem. He hoped Nate hadn't made some sort of breakthrough with her. He wouldn't be able to stand it if he lost her to Nate again.

_You cut me open_

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"Dan…" Serena said slowly. She'd just listened to the entire story of what had happened to Jenny… and while she agreed that it was horrible, she had a problem with the explanation. "I know you don't want to hear this… but…"

"What?" he said, his eyes still following Chuck with Blair, wanting to give him the other black eye he sorely owed him.

"I don't think Chuck is responsible," she murmured.

Dan tore his gaze away from the guy in question and gazed quizzically at his girlfriend. "What?"

"Think about it, Dan," she said. "How did Chuck get a hold of these things? As far as I know, Kati and Is are having nothing to do with him because of the whole thing with Blair. How could he get into Kati's home? It's just not possible."

Dan wanted to deny her words, but he heard the ring of truth in them.

"But… he threatened her, Serena," he said. "He found out she told Nate. He's scared the hell out of her and said he'd do something to get back at her."

"I'm not saying he didn't threaten her or that he isn't capable of doing something…" Serena said softly. "I'm just saying that… Dan, Jenny's always wanted to be a part of this world."

Dan quirked an eyebrow at the change in subject, "I know. What's that have to do with anything?"

"She doesn't have the same things these other girls do…" Serena trailed off, wincing that she was about to say what she was about to say. "Maybe… maybe she made a decision she shouldn't have?" she finished as gently as possible.

"What?!" Dan said, standing up, unable to believe that _Serena_ had just said that to him.

"Please don't be mad," Serena said softly. "I just don't think it would be possible for Chuck to be behind this."

"Of course you would defend _him_," he said, his anger speaking for him.

"Dan, you know that's not fair," she said, perplexed. He knew how much she didn't like Chuck.

"Obviously the guy can do no wrong in the eyes of you Upper East Side girls," he remarked, "_anything_ is forgivable."

"Believe me, Chuck Bass does nothing _but_ wrong," Serena said. "And it's not all forgivable."

"Tell that to Blair Waldorf," he said with disgust, staring at the dance floor.

Serena turned and looked. She winced. Blair was kissing Chuck? What was going on?

"He's definitely got a lot of tricks up his sleeve, but I don't think this thing with Jenny is one of his," Serena finally ground out, continuing to watch the dance floor.

"Yeah right," Dan said sarcastically. "And Jenny stole from her friends? She wouldn't do that."

Just then, Blair broke away from Chuck and left the dance floor. Serena could tell that she was upset.

"I have to go after Blair," she said quickly. "Please, just remember that this is a _school_ dance. You _will_ get in trouble if you come to blows with Chuck." With those words, she left and hurried after Blair. She didn't know what Chuck had done, but she knew it couldn't be good.

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Meanwhile, Matt was getting tired of dancing with Melissa. When the first song was over he tried to get away but she insisted that a "dance" constituted an entire song, so he was stuck dancing with her through one more song. He figured it didn't really matter. Eric hadn't shown up with Blair after the first song ended either, so they were probably still dancing.

Melissa kept trying to talk to him, and she was blatantly throwing herself at him. She kept dancing up really close and fitting herself to him like a second skin. He put up with it as long as possible before he spun away from her and opened up their dance space. He wasn't interested in this girl, and he shouldn't be dancing with her. He should have never agreed in the first place, but he had promised her a dance—he just hadn't known he'd end up at the gala on the arm of Blair Waldorf. Because, really, who could have predicted that?

"Why do you keep pulling away," she finally asked about halfway through the song.

"It's called dancing," he said sarcastically.

"But you weren't like this last week," she said softly. "Why are you acting like this? You've been ignoring me almost all week. Didn't it mean anything to you?"

He winced inwardly and turned his head away. "Look, you're a very nice girl… but that's it." He looked back at her, hoping she'd finally get a clue.

She felt a swelling pain in her chest. Here was the proof, from his mouth, that she meant nothing to him… that she was so stupid for believing… Well, _he_ was stupid too.

"And Blair? She's what you want?" she asked almost spitefully.

"Yes, Melissa, she's the one I want," he finally said. This would make everything more final and maybe he could cut this dance short.

"Well, she obviously doesn't want _you_," she spat out the words and nodded to some spot behind him.

He turned in the direction of her nod and froze.

Blair was kissing Chuck Bass. He had his arms around her and was holding her close. Blair wasn't pulling away. As he watched, Chuck pulled back and reached a hand up to touch her face.

Matt tried to squelch the urge to go and beat the shit out of Chuck. He really tried. He didn't want to look like an idiot—only an idiot would fight with someone over a girl who clearly didn't want him. But he couldn't seem to stop himself from letting go of Melissa and starting across the floor.

Then Blair left the dance floor, leaving Chuck by himself. All the better for Matt, in his opinion. This way Blair wouldn't be getting in the middle of the fight like she had with Nate.

He knew that deciding to make Blair Waldorf his would be difficult, he just hadn't figured on both of her exes wanting her back at the same time. He was going to beat the crap out of Chuck, one day soon he'd have a throw down with Nate, and Blair was going to be his.

He'd never wanted a girl like this, but what he wanted, he got. And that was that.

He hadn't counted on Dan Humphrey though.

He walked up behind Chuck and was about to tap him on the shoulder, planning on decking him with the element of surprise, when Dan Humphrey showed up too.

Chuck turned to Dan as the boy got in his face and noticed that Matt was right next to him, his anger apparent as well.

Chuck backed away from them both and smirked, "Okay ladies, no need to fight. My dance card isn't full yet. You'll both get your chance."

"I don't know what you want," Dan spat out the words to Matt, "But I've got first dibs on this jackass."

Chuck raised an eyebrow. He'd been kidding about the dance card. Okay, he knew Matt was probably there because Melissa hadn't succeeded quite as well as he hoped, but he had no idea why Dan was there.

Matt didn't even bother looking at Dan. He grabbed a hold of Chuck's lapels and drew him up close, "Stay away from her." He would have just hit him, but the moment was lost because of Dan's interference.

"Jealousy doesn't look good on you," Chuck said with a smirk before jerking away from Matt and fixing his jacket.

"She came with me, she stays with me, she's leaving with me," Matt growled. "Get it? With _me_. She's with _me_ now. She doesn't belong to _you_."

Chuck just smirked. He couldn't help it. Matt was amusing the hell out of him. He knew that Blair was only using this jerk. It was cracking him up that the buffoon seemed to already be wrapped around her little finger. Of course, Matt was taking this possession thing to the next level. Blair Waldorf belonged to no one. The sooner Matt realized that, the better for him.

"Look," Dan said, butting in between Matt and Chuck, pushing them apart when it looked like Matt was going to advance on Chuck again. "Both of you stay the hell away from Blair." This wasn't why he was here, but as much as he was angry at Serena for insinuating that Jenny was a thief, he knew that Blair's happiness was important to Serena and had to put his two cents in.

Of course, both of the guys turned to look at him in confusion at that.

"You've _got_ to be kidding me," Matt said. "Nate, Chuck, and now _you_? Who _isn't_ in love with her?"

Dan opened his mouth, not expecting that response. He was thrown completely through a loop. "What? No! Not that she isn't… er… she just needs to be left alone." How did this conversation get so out of control?

Chuck shook his head in amusement. He still didn't know why Dan was here, but at least he was helping with the Matt situation. "You came all the way over here to tell me to leave Blair alone, Humphrey? How heroic," he said sarcastically.

"No," Dan said, getting up into Chuck's face, "I came because you messed with my sister one too many times and I think it's time you got that second black eye."

He took a swing at Chuck, but Chuck—who hadn't expected it the first time Dan did it on that roof—knew what to expect this time and backed away in time.

"Smooth, Humphrey," he said, eyeing Dan, wary of him making another move. "What's your problem?"

"You set her up!" Dan accused. "She just told Nate the truth. _You_ betrayed him. She doesn't deserve to suffer for _your_ mistakes. Just because you can't keep it in your pants…"

"Hey," Chuck said defensively. "I don't appreciate being accused of something I didn't do. It's not my fault if your sister has sticky fingers."

Dan pushed him, "Screw you!"

"Get your facts straight Brooklyn," Chuck said, pushing him back. "And in the meantime, get out of my face!"

"Is there a problem here?" one of the chaperones had noticed a small disturbance in the middle of the dance floor and had come to investigate.

"No sir," Dan said stiffly. "Nothing that can't be resolved later."

The man raised an eyebrow, but nodded slowly. "Then I suggest you boys go find your dates or take a seat and cool off."

Matt still very much wanted to wipe that smirk off of Chuck's face, but he wasn't an idiot. He didn't want to cause further trouble. Then he'd get kicked out and Blair would be left for Chuck to move in on again.

He finally backed away, giving Chuck one more look of warning.

Chuck just smirked at both of his assailants before making his way back to his table of buddies. They were slightly trashed due to their hidden flasks. He'd give them a little longer before he directed them to his suite for his after party.

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"Blair?" Serena called as she raced down the hall she'd seen Blair disappear down. "Blair? Where are you?"

She slowed when she came to a fork in the hall. She didn't know which path to go down. She hesitated but then she heard what sounded like a sob and went in that direction.

"Blair?" she called, following the sound. Finally she found Blair. She was sitting on a bench, head bowed, trying to stop the tears but to no avail.

Serena sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her, tugging her close. "Blair…" She didn't need to ask what happened, she already knew.

"I don't know why I let him kiss me," Blair said. "Why does he have this… this… _power_ over me? No one else has it. I hate it!" She tossed her head back and wiped hurriedly at her eyes.

Serena closed her eyes and tried to think of something to say. She couldn't explain it herself… well, not in any way that Blair would be happy to hear. She had already realized that Blair was at least a quarter of the way in love with Chuck when Blair confessed everything to her. But she knew Blair had no idea. She wouldn't say it now. She couldn't.

"Nate talked to me earlier too," Blair said.

"What did he say?" Serena asked, surprised.

"He… he forgives me," Blair said softly, still unable to believe it.

"Well, that's good… right?" Serena said. She was glad Nate had found it in him to forgive Blair… but it was only good as long as…

"He wants to get back together," Blair cried.

… as long as he didn't want that. Serena sighed. Why did all the emotional dramatic crap have to find Blair all at once? One minute no one wanted anything to do with Blair, making the loneliness nearly destroy her, now they all wanted her at once and it was tearing her apart.

"I told him I wasn't ready to get back together," Blair said. "I remembered what you said. I'm trying not to have anything to do with either of them. I _know_ they're not good for me. I know that they keep hur-hurting me… Everything was going fine until Chuck."

"Blair…" Serena said softly.

"Why, S?" Blair cried. "Why did he do that to me? And why didn't he tell me? I had finally decided to be with him, only him. I gave up on waiting for Nate. I chose Chuck. I wanted him. I trusted him. I was… I was…" she trailed off.

Serena waited, breathlessly, wondering what Blair would say next.

"Happy," Blair said, with some wonder in her voice. "Happy. He was making me happy. He made me smile. He made me forget about all the pain and horror of school and losing everything. He made me feel beautiful. He did everything right. I think… I think…" Blair's eyes grew wide and she looked at Serena, startled.

"What?" Serena asked.

"I think I was ready to give him everything… e-e-even my…" she couldn't say it. She clamped her mouth shut and shook her head.

"Your what?" Serena asked. She knew that until Blair started being honest with herself, she couldn't get the help she needed… but Serena was scared of whatever Blair was about to say.

Blair was silent for a long, long moment. Everything from the past week going through her head, every kiss, every look, every smirk, every touch, the dance, the cuddling… and she finally whispered "my heart."

She cringed after she said it unable to believe she'd just admitted it out loud let alone to herself.

"Oh, Blair," Serena said, wrapping her arms around her best friend.

Blair realized she was acting a little pathetic. She also knew she'd never be able to utter those words to anyone else. She pulled away and wiped at her eyes before standing up.

"Well, it doesn't matter now," Blair cleared her throat. "Anyway, I have a favor to ask you."

"Anything, B," Serena said encouragingly.

"After party," Blair said, somehow finding a small smirk. "Your mother's out of town, right?"

"Riiight…," Serena drew out the word.

"It's perfect then," Blair said. She grinned and turned to walk back toward the ballroom to put the rest of her plan into motion.

She wasn't feeling any better of course, but she needed to put the mess out of her head. She had more important things to take care of right now. Jenny was finished. There was an opening at the top, and Blair Waldorf was going to have her crown back by Monday morning—there was no doubt about it.

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_To be continued…_

Next On Aftershock: Saturday, with thoughts back to the after parties. I will not be writing out the parties, just so you know what to expect.

**Song**

"Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis


	24. Summary of Prologue to Chapter 22

**SUMMARY THUS FAR**

Hello everyone! Since it's been a month and a half, I wrote out a complete chapter summary of the entire story thus far. Its 22 pages or 11,000+ words, which is long, but it's a lot shorter than reading all the chapters again (and 137,000+ words) if you don't remember what's happening! I also put little chapter headers so you can find a specific scene that you may want to re-read and don't want to try to guess where it's at. Yes, **Chapter 23** _does_ follow this because I finally updated! I hope you enjoy! Thanks for all the support! XOXO Sharon

* * *

**OTHER CHARACTERS (ones I've added or changed)**

Hazel – portrayed as the new queen

Melissa – (the Penelope character), in love with Matt

Matt Cunningham – looks like Toby Hemingway (from The Covenant), interested in Blair

Elise "Gilbert" – a freshman, low on the totem pole, Blair takes her under her wing

Barbara Gilbert – Elise's mother and friend to Eleanor

Hannah – 2nd tier of popular, re-befriends Blair against Hazel's wishes

Liz – friend of Hannah, backing Blair

Natalie – friend of Hannah, backing Blair

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* * *

**

PROLOGUE- Nate's thoughts

Here are Nate's thoughts about the betrayal of his best friend and girlfriend. How he feels about Blair and why it hurt so much, and also why it's so hard for him to forgive her.

* * *

**CHAPTER 1 – Blair's Bulimia**

January 19, Saturday: The day after Blair almost leaves for France.

The chapter begins with Nate going to visit his father, as he planned to do with Blair earlier in the week (see 1x13, N/B make out while C looks on). Nate decides not to tell his father that he and Blair broke up again. Instead they discuss the upcoming track and field tryouts. The Captain notices something is on Nate's mind, asks about the suspension (in School Lies). Nate ends up wondering if Blair was still seeing Chuck when he got back together with her. He also wonders if Blair has feelings for Chuck.

January 21, Monday: The first day back to school after humiliation.

Serena shows up to drag Blair out of bed. Blair doesn't want to get up and go, but Serena is just too cheerful to resist. Blair has a light breakfast of fruit with a spoonful of eggs before going to shower and get ready for school. While in the bathroom, she can't shake the horrible words Chuck said to her. She ends up purging while Serena waits downstairs. She decides that it'll be okay. It was just this once and anyone would understand her doing it after what she had suffered. She finishes getting ready, dressed to perfection—complete with headband—and is ready to face the day!

**

* * *

**

CHAPTER 2 – Blair plots revenge against Jenny, Chuck spreads another rumor about Blair

January 21, Monday: Still.

Rufus calls Dan and Jenny to breakfast but the two have been fighting all weekend and not talking. Jenny leaves first, grabbing an apple, with Dan following only _after_ she leaves—and grabbing a granola bar for the road. Rufus decides to let them work out their problem and not butt in—he just hopes whatever the argument is it doesn't last long.

Chuck cusses at his alarm clock. He spends some time in bed contemplating the reasons why he has to go to school, why he wasn't with Blair at the moment even though he had the opportunity—instead he shoved everything in her face. He also wishes that he had told Nate the truth back when Nate first started talking about missing Blair. He reveals that he still wants Blair, but he wasn't going to be second choice—and he doesn't want to get hurt again.

Chuck arrives at school and all his male friends are just lining up to congratulate him on bagging the "Queen". Matt asks him if Blair was good in the sack and Chuck denies it because he doesn't want word to get out that Blair _is_ good—he doesn't want to see Blair with anyone else. Another guy, Ian, basically asks Chuck if Blair did oral. Before Chuck can deny it, they realize Nate is trying to get into the classroom they are in front of. Nate glares but doesn't do anything for fear of another suspension.

Nate spends the rest of first period pissed, wondering if Blair really had gone down on Chuck. Then he spends the rest of the day dealing with teasing friends who can't seem to get enough of cracking on him about Blair. He decides to go to the gym after school and work out his aggression on a punching bag.

Blair and Serena had arrived at school early so Blair could be in homeroom when everyone started to arrive. She is basically ignored or given hostile glares throughout the day. She had to go to a makeup math test at the end of the day. On her way, she sees Hazel, Melissa, Jenny, Isabel, and Kati together. She spies and notices that Elise is to Jenny what Jenny was to her. She starts working on her plan to take down Jenny. After she passes them, she hears them making fun of her and commenting on the size of her stomach. She decides to visit the bathroom before going to her math class.

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* * *

**

CHAPTER 3 – Blair furthers her plan against Jenny. Dan tells Jenny off.

January 24, Thursday

Blair is dragging Serena to a special salon. She knows where it's located but has decided she needed to exercise so she makes Serena walk and pretends she doesn't know. Blair doesn't really want to go to the salon; she just knows that Elise's mother, Barbara Gilbert, goes there around this time. Eleanor and Barbara used to be really good friends before Harold left and Eleanor's business took off. Blair plans a dinner for the following Friday and invites Barbara—as well as her daughter Elise.

Nate wonders why he and Chuck ever became friends in the first place. He contemplates what made Chuck so attractive to him as a friend. He also compares Chuck to Blair and his parents—all of which liked to control him, but for different reasons. He also thinks about the guys at school who are still giving him a bad time. He bemoans his dwindling supply of weed that helped him to forget all his pain. He admits that he's starting to see things more from Blair's side, though he still can't forgive her.

Rufus makes Jenny and Dan sit for dinner as a family in the kitchen. He's tired of their fighting. He attempts to get them to do something together by telling Dan to prep the gallery and have Jenny help. Dan ignores him until he finally explodes and tells the problem between him and Jenny is that she eavesdropped on his private conversation, found out about Blair, and told Gossip Girl. Jenny denies it, saying that she didn't tell Gossip Girl, she only told Nate that Blair was with Chuck. Dan doesn't believe her. They both end up back in their rooms. Rufus contemplates the changes in Jenny lately.

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CHAPTER 4 – Blair enlists Elise in her plan.

February 1, Friday – an UES party & Waldorf dinner w/ Gilberts

Chuck thinks about what made him decide to continue things with Blair after the limo. He thinks about how amazing things were with Blair. He wonders if Blair was with him just as revenge against Nate—an eye for an eye thing. He thinks about his state of mind the night Serena told him about Blair's possible pregnancy. Everything leading up to his mindless act of outing Blair and how it destroyed her, Nate, and Chuck him self.

Chuck arrives at the party. He heads for Kati and Is who dismiss him—partly because of his treatment of Blair and partly because of Jenny filling their heads. He decides he's going to do something to get back at Jenny for disturbing his fun.

Chuck notices Jenny and Nate talking—Nate is alone at the party and being moody while sitting on a couch. Hazel was talking to Nate first, but he didn't want anything to do with her. Jenny interrupts and ends up getting Hazel to leave. Chuck decides to send the information about Jenny and Nate to Gossip Girl. He decides to use Blair to help him get his revenge against Jenny. If Blair knows about Jenny's intentions toward Nate, she'd get her back for it.

Blair is doing well at dinner befriending Elise. While having dinner, she contemplates the past two weeks. The first week after her humiliation, she would stop at the bakery on the way home, gorge, then purge. It became a routine for the entire week. She resolved to stop that weekend, but then things got worse the following Monday. Melissa and Hazel were talking about the rumor going around that Chuck said Blair was bad in bed—Melissa had heard it from Matt. Blair ended up leaving the argument with them before she started crying. Later that night she purged and cried all night. She missed school the next day—she told Serena that she had her period. She was contemplating leaving for France by days' end, but her father called and reminded her that she was a Waldorf. After that, her bulimia subsided as she kept repeating that mantra over and over to herself.

Elise and Blair bond over headbands. Blair makes Elise think about how Jenny was treating her, i.e.: not inviting her to the party that night. Blair invites Elise to go shopping with her and Serena the next day. Elise is excited and proclaims that Blair isn't as bad as everyone says. Blair tells Elise that it's important to keep their friendship a secret at school. Blair gets a text message from Gossip Girl and as the jealousy swirls through her, she comes up with another plan to help in the grand takedown of Jenny Humphrey.

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CHAPTER 5 – D/S's pool date. C/N's second fight. Jenny's first letter.

February 1, Friday: Still

Dan and Serena are on a date. They end up talking about Blair and how she's holding up. They talk about Jenny and how she continues to deny being the one to out Blair. They mention the brief possibility that it could have been Chuck who tipped off Gossip Girl—but ultimately decide it isn't possible because Serena had told Chuck that Blair might be pregnant. They don't think even Chuck would stoop that low to destroy Blair if there was a possibility of her being pregnant. They also talk about Eric and how she's worried he won't make friends at St. Jude's. Dan reassures her.

February 2, Saturday

Nate visits his father and learns that he might be getting out at the end of March. Nate doesn't believe his father's ready. He decides to tell the Captain about him and Blair breaking up. Howie takes it pretty well. Then Nate thinks about how Gossip Girl turned something so innocent—like a discussion with Jenny—into something "more". He's not interested in Jenny.

Nate arrives home after visiting his father to find Chuck waiting for him. Nate orders Chuck to leave, but Chuck is trying to make nice. It doesn't work. Chuck apologizes but Nate doesn't want to hear it. Chuck finds out that Blair wasn't the one to tell Nate that it was him with her. This is a revelation considering it's a huge part of the reason that Chuck turned Blair away—for ratting him out to Nate. Chuck wants to know who _did_ tell Nate, but Nate won't tell on Jenny. Nate finds out that Chuck was the one who tipped off Gossip Girl about Blair. Chuck tells Nate that Blair knows about him being responsible for her destroyed reputation. Nate is angry at Chuck for all the humiliation he's gone through at school as well as Blair's. Nate wants to fight Chuck, and some testosterone is thrown around, but ultimately Nate walks away after telling Chuck that their friendship is over for good.

Jenny gets a letter from a secret admirer, signed A. She thinks it might be Nate **A**rchibald. The letter says that he wants to be with her, but he can't right now because he's tired of the public eye being on him.

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CHAPTER 6 – Blair gets Elise involved in her plan. Nate decides to talk to Serena about Blair.

February 2, Saturday: Still

Blair arrives home a little late from an errand. Elise is waiting for her. They leave to go shopping. While at Bendel's, Hazel's group arrives. Blair ducks for cover so the girls don't see her with Elise. All four girls have something to say about the outfit Elise has picked out to try on—it's horrific. Elise is horrified that Blair overheard the conversation once they leave but Blair is supportive and comforting and they get back to shopping soon enough.

February 4, Monday

Blair sends a text message to Elise to meet in the bathroom. When Elise arrives, she finds a crying Blair. Blair tells her about the girls being mean to her. Elise can relate. Elise decides to help out her new friend anyway she can—anyway.

Blair tries to compose herself after Elise leaves the bathroom. The only problem is that she used all her pent up feelings about Chuck and Nate to make herself cry. She doesn't end up making herself look as presentable as she hoped.

Nate spots Blair leaving school and notices that she looks like a shell—not like herself at all. He thinks about how Blair managed to help him with the situation with his father even though he never came to her for help—how important it was to feel needed. He is still struggling with his feelings about Blair, but he takes the first step in getting some answers to all of his questions. He decides to meet with Serena to talk about Blair.

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CHAPTER 7 – N/S talk about Blair. Serena wants to get N/B back together, talks B into crashing Matt's party. Jenny gets her second letter.

February 4, Monday: Still

Nate shows up at Serena's suite. Nate wonders if Blair has feelings for Chuck, went to him for comfort, or if she just slept with him for revenge against Nate. Serena doesn't tell him for sure, but she believes that Blair _did_ sleep with Chuck for revenge—because that's what Blair told her—so she alludes to that idea but doesn't confirm it. Nate leaves, angry at the idea of Blair using herself that way. He has more questions now than when he first arrived. Serena begs him to talk to Blair—because only she can tell him what she was really feeling or thinking. He says he will think about it because it's all he _can_ think about.

Serena decides that Nate is starting to cave and might be willing to talk to Blair soon. So she calls Blair to talk her into going to Matt's PVD Party that Friday night. Blair wasn't invited, but she agrees to go and crash. Serena convinces Blair it'll be good for her reputation though she secretly wants to get Nate and Blair back together.

Meanwhile, Blair was so upset by her thoughts at school that she'd given in to an entire cherry pie. She struggles with her new mantra of "I'm a Waldorf" but ultimately gives in to the urge to purge after remembering things Chuck and Nate said to her.

February 6, Wednesday

Jenny gets another letter from her secret admirer, signed 'R'. She starts to believe even more-so that Nate **Ar**chibald is the admirer. She decides to text him to invite him out for smoothies but is disheartened when he gives short, abrupt responses. She decides that he's still uncomfortable with the idea of anything public and wants to just wait for when _he_ is ready.

Nate thinks about how he was worried that Jenny might develop a crush or an interest in him especially after Gossip Girl's post. Now it seems as though Jenny _was_ developing that crush. He decides he needs to back off and just leave her alone for a while, hoping she gets the message without him having to say it clearly.

Nate starts to wonder if Blair compared him and Chuck in bed. His pride is hurting and making him angry. He starts to think that maybe Serena was right about talking to Blair. But he's not ready yet. He decides to go to Matt's PVD Party that Friday night and have more fun there than he did at the last one. He also reveals that he's quit smoking weed as its part of what makes him such a puppet to all the people around him.

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CHAPTER 8 – The PVD Party: Matt flirts with Blair, Blair and Jenny argue, Chuck attacks Blair, Nate tries to help Blair.

February 8, Friday: Matt's PVD Party

Chuck's at the party to hook up with someone but his fun is ruined when Blair shows up with Serena. He tries to ignore them, but finds it impossible when the host, Matt, shows up and stakes a claim on Blair with his arm around her waist before escorting her to the bar. Chuck tortures himself remembering the conversation with Nate when he found out that Blair hadn't told on him. It's getting to him. Then he notices that Nate showed up for the party too and decides he needs to take a _smoke_ break before dealing with the party again.

Blair is nervous that Matt's going to kick her out when he shows up the minute she arrives. Instead, Matt escorts her to the bar and starts to flirt with her. It's perfect because everyone has to come by to thank Matt or tell him how much fun they are having. And since she's with the host, they have to be nice to her.

Matt invites Blair to dance when he notices Nate's arrival. Serena wants to go talk to Nate but ends up being dragged along to the dance floor by a nervous Blair who doesn't want to be alone with Matt.

Blair gets stuck on the dance floor with Matt during a slow song. She silently begs Serena for help. Serena goes to Nate first to ask him to cut in and use it as an opportunity to talk to Blair. Nate won't do it, so Serena ends up going to flirt with the DJ to get him to play "Pour Some Sugar On Me" next. Then she goes back to the dance floor and cuts in, dragging Blair away from Matt before Matt can stop them. They disappear into the throng of dancers and actually lead the dancing to the rock song.

Chuck is trying to chat up some girl when he sees Matt and Blair slow dancing. He gets jealous but tries to relax—that was what the weed was for.

Blair and Serena take a break from dancing. Serena goes to find Nate to try to convince him to talk to Blair once again. Blair goes to the restroom. On the way she has an encounter with Jenny who is later joined by Melissa. They argue slut vs. money points. Blair ends up telling them that she was actually _seeing_ Chuck, she didn't just sleep with him. She also tells them that Nate cheated on her, not the other way around.

After Blair finishes in the restroom, she's pulled down a hall by Chuck who starts to make out with her. She tells him to stop, he doesn't, and she ends up giving in to the kisses.

Meanwhile, Serena convinced Nate to talk to Blair, so he goes looking for her and finds Chuck and Blair making out against the wall. He almost leaves but then he hears Blair tell Chuck to stop when he tries to go a little further than she was willing at the moment. He goes to help and Chuck ends up leaving before Nate can do more than push him into a wall. Blair ends up leaving after telling Nate she can take care of herself. She finds Serena and insists that they leave.

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CHAPTER 9 – Serena and Blair have a heart-to-heart. Melissa spreads gossip that Blair leaks. Serena discovers Blair's purging again.

February 8, Friday: Still the night of the PVD Party

Serena tries to get Blair to talk about why she's so upset. Meanwhile Blair is beating herself up because she thinks she's an ugly, fat whore. She tells Serena what Chuck said to her all those months ago. She also tells Serena what happened at the party. Serena gets angry at Chuck and tries to convince Blair that she is wrong about being ugly and fat and a whore. They arrive at Blair's home and Serena decides to stay with Blair for the night.

Back at the party, Jenny tries to convince Melissa to keep her mouth shut about what Blair said—she doesn't want Nate to look bad. Melissa tells Hazel, Kati, and Is anyway. Hazel puts her down and tells everyone that Blair is just lying—forget about it. But Kati and Is miss Blair and they know that Blair doesn't lie, she just doesn't reveal the truth. So they know that Blair must have really been seeing Chuck, and they also realize that Nate cheated—and they conclude that it was Serena because of the way Blair treated Serena when she got back from boarding school. During this conversation, it is also revealed that Melissa is in "love" with Matt.

Serena and Blair have a heart to heart where Blair finally tells Serena everything she feels for Chuck and for Nate. Serena realizes that Blair was a little bit in love with Chuck, but doesn't tell Blair what she thinks.

Later that night, Serena awakens to Blair purging. She realizes that all the crap with Chuck and Nate is really doing a number on Blair, so she starts to think that Blair just shouldn't have anything to do with either one of them. She resigns herself to talking to Blair about the problem in the morning.

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CHAPTER 10 – Serena talks Blair into seeing a shrink. Chuck tries to apologize to Blair, finds out something might be wrong with her. Invites her to meet him at the Palace.

February 9, Saturday

Serena awakens in Blair's bed to find that she's already up. Blair's downstairs looking through clothes racks with Elise while Eleanor and Barbara talk. Serena tries to get Blair alone to talk about what happened last night. She succeeds after threatening to tell Eleanor. Elise tries on her dress for the Sweetheart Gala in Blair's room as Serena and Blair wait outside. Blair agrees to go see Dr. Sherman later on. Serena leaves to shower and change. Blair fills Elise in on the PVD Party, leaving out the part about Chuck.

Blair is alone in the penthouse when Chuck shows up. She thinks its Serena at first and reveals that she's having some sort of problem. He tries to apologize for the night before, but she won't let him. She also jumps away from him as if she's afraid. Serena shows up and sends Blair on an errand to her room while she disposes of Chuck. Blair tells Serena that Chuck came to apologize.

Chuck decides to follow them, but turns up nothing when they go to a non-descript brownstone. But he's worried about Blair. He decides to text her and invites her to meet him at the Palace that evening. She doesn't respond even though he practically begs her to meet him. He goes back to his suite to get some rest because he was up all night due to his guilt for the way he treated her.

He's at the bar drinking and waiting for her for an hour and a half before finally giving up and stumbling to his room. He doesn't know that she's watching him from the window, too afraid to go in and talk to him. She wants to put him out of her life for good because things just become too crazy when he's in it. Unfortunately for her, someone takes a picture of her standing outside the window, staring inside. Fortunately for her, Chuck had already left so no one knows what she was looking at. But the GG post has ramifications for the next day.

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CHAPTER 11 – Jenny gets a third letter. Serena warns Nate away from Blair. Blair and Chuck makeup. K&I tell GG the latest gossip about B/C/N.

February 10, Sunday

Blair wakes up early to run an errand in Brooklyn. She sees the GG post and is glad no one saw who she was staring at. She worries about what Chuck will do when he sees the post. She finishes getting ready and goes out to take care of her errand.

Jenny gets another letter from her secret admirer, but Dan accidentally spilled milk on it so the signature is blurred. She can't figure out if it's a "C", an "A", or and "R", or a "B". She decides that it must be a "C" for Nate **ARC**ibald. The admirer signs the note "with love" and Jenny gets excited at the thought that Nate loves her.

Chuck wakes up hung over and doesn't want to move, although he does check out the latest post from Gossip Girl. When he reads that Blair did show up, he tries to figure out where to go from here.

Nate shows up at Serena's, freaking out over the message from Gossip Girl. He wants to know if Blair was at the Palace waiting for Serena because there's only one other person she could have been there to see—Chuck. Serena decides to tell Nate the truth, the Blair wasn't there to see her, because she's officially decided she doesn't want Blair back with Nate because he causes her too much misery. Nate leaves after he realizes that Serena is no longer going to help him.

Blair is working on a history paper when Chuck starts text messaging her. She ends up turning off her phone, only to be interrupted five minutes later when Dorota calls her downstairs because she has a visitor.

Blair and Chuck hash out all their problems. He talks about his anger and jealousy over her sleeping with his best friend. She reveals that she regrets sleeping with Nate. She talks about how hurt she was at his treatment of her. She lies to him about being "sick", because he's worried after she mentioned going to a doctor the day before. He accepts her excuse. She tells him to leave but he won't. They start arguing which leads to her kissing him, which leads to her pulling away and almost crying. He realizes that she actually thinks that she's a whore because of what he said to her. He apologizes. She apologizes for everything. They kiss some more and he suggests going "up stairs". She brings up the fact that he spread a rumor around school about her not being any good in bed. He apologizes and explains. She accepts, but she's still not going "upstairs" with him. He invites her to the Sweetheart Gala. She tells him she'll think about it. He accepts that answer. When he leaves, she reveals that not only was Jenny the one who told Nate about Chuck and Blair, but Blair also does _not_, in fact, know that _Chuck_ was the one to out Blair to Gossip Girl. He doesn't tell her the truth, deciding to leave. He decides to tell her that he was the one to destroy her reputation after the Gala.

Kati and Is are shopping. They find the perfect matching dresses and party tiaras for the Sweetheart Gala. They start thinking about how much they miss shopping with Blair. They decide to send their gossip to GG about Nate cheating and Blair dating Chuck. They can't wait for Blair to regain her status so they can all be friends again.

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CHAPTER 12 – Nate has a disturbing dream. Chuck threatens Jenny. Chuck and Blair have a movie date.

February 11, Monday

Nate has a dream fantasy about the night of the Cotillion which dissolves into a nightmare of Blair and Chuck having sex against the wall at the PVD Party.

Nate wakes up, angry and sweaty. He's upset that after a month of distance, the betrayal is still so fresh with him. He finally goes to get ready for school. He has track and field tryouts that afternoon.

Blair wakes feeling better than she has in a while. She gets ready for school and goes downstairs to find that Chuck sent her a dozen pink roses. She decides to change clothes to gray and pink and wears one of the roses as a lapel corsage.

Nate suffers through breakfast with his mother. He thinks about how angry he is at his mother for making things so easy for his father. He's still worried about his father coming home. He finally leaves for school and arrives to smirks. So he checks Gossip Girl and finds out that the news has been released about him cheating on Blair. He also finds out that Blair might have actually been seeing Chuck when they broke up; it wasn't just a one time thing.

Hazel hunts Melissa down at school and blames her for the Gossip Girl post. She says that if Blair manages to restore herself to her former glory, Hazel will destroy Melissa. Melissa tries to explain that she didn't do anything but Hazel doesn't want to hear it.

Serena and Blair are on their way to school. Serena notices that Blair is in a happier mood. Blair also convinces Serena that they should go to the doctor on Saturday instead of after school that day. Serena shows Blair Gossip Girl's latest post and is amazed at Blair's reaction. Serena continues to think about how hard everything was for Blair with her and Nate's betrayal. They arrive at school and Serena witnesses a small exchange of secret smiles between Chuck and Blair. She glares at him and starts to feel a little anxious—she's managed to get Nate away from Blair, but she evidently failed to get Chuck away from her.

Chuck gets the text message from Gossip Girl after Blair goes into the school building. He starts to have a little hope about everything. Now that some of the truth is coming out, Blair might be able to restore her reputation sooner rather than later and Chuck might be able to tell her the truth without too much damage to their newly formed relationship.

Jenny is on her bus, on the way home, when Chuck shows up and threatens her. He tells her that he knows the truth about her telling Nate and that he's going to make sure she pays for it. Jenny is scared out of her mind. He gets off the bus, and Jenny tries to figure out the age old question of, "What would Blair do?"

Chuck calls Blair and invites himself over to watch some movies on her bed. She agrees. He arrives and they start to watch 'Heathers'. They laugh about Constance having three "Blair's" like the movie has three "Heather's". Then they start to make out. It's getting pretty hot and heavy and she starts to initiate more, but he holds back because he doesn't want to sleep with her until she knows the truth. Of course, she gets a little upset because she doesn't understand. He finally tells her that he doesn't want to sleep with her until she's on birth control. She understands now. Once the movie is over, he gives her a diamond tennis bracelet and tells her that he doesn't expect anything in return.

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CHAPTER 13 – Serena warns Blair about Chuck. Nate makes new male friends. Girls at school talk to Blair. Jenny asks Nate for help with the Chuck threat.

February 11, Monday: Still

Blair calls Serena after Chuck leaves. Serena asks Blair about Chuck and warns her not to get in too deep with him. Blair says she can take care of herself and that she won't trust him again. Serena can't do anything else but hope that Blair doesn't get hurt again.

Nate gets some guys from tryouts together for a game of basketball. Some of the guys on the other team give him a bad time and call him a cheater. Most of the other guys don't really care about Nate's drama and just want to play ball. Nate ends up leaving after a rough argument with Dick and goes to his house to play Wii with Luke and Tim. Nate has a good time with his new friends and actually manages to not think about Blair and Chuck for a while. He figures out that Blair was probably the one to release the information to Gossip Girl, but he doesn't fault her for it.

February 12, Tuesday

Girls at school are starting to loosen up. They actually smile at Blair and talk to her. Hazel puts Hannah down for talking to Blair, but Hannah still doesn't back down. Later on, she goes to Blair with Liz and Natalie in toe. She tells Blair about Hazel making a mess of the plans for the Sweetheart Gala and asks for her help. Blair finally agrees—they should meet at lunch tomorrow. She is pleasantly surprised when they agree to meet with her in public even though Hazel and the other girls have publicly shunned her.

Meanwhile, Chuck messages Blair that he's going to send the limo for her that evening. Chuck believes that his plans for the evening will finally get Blair to agree to go to the dance with him. Blair also received her favorite gold collection chocolates from Chuck that morning at her home, just like the roses.

Blair takes off after school to get a present for Chuck since he keeps giving her presents. Serena ends up going with Dan to a new café. They talk about Eric and Jenny. Dan asks Serena if anything weird happened at school with Jenny because she hasn't been acting like herself. Serena hadn't noticed anything.

Nate's finishing up the second phase of tryouts when he notices Jenny waiting by the fence for him. He goes to talk to her and she tells him about Chuck's threat. He reassures her that he's going to talk to Chuck and get him to back off.

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CHAPTER 14 – Hazel humiliates Melissa in front of the girls. Blair is jealous of rumors about Nate with Jenny. Nate realizes that C/B are talking again.

February 12, Tuesday: Still

Gossip Girl makes a post about Jenny visiting Nate at practice. She also confirms that Blair said she was dating Chuck.

Hazel, Melissa, Kati, and Is are hanging out at Melissa's reading magazines. Hazel is angry about the posts about Jenny and Nate because _she_ likes Nate. Elise shows up with drinks for the girls. She isn't told to leave, so she decides to hang out for a while. She ends up witnessing Hazel being mean to Melissa while taking a magazine love quiz about Matt. Melissa hooked up with Matt after the PVD Party and he hasn't called yet. The quiz humiliates Melissa until she finally calls a stop to it. Then Hazel kicks Elise out.

Blair is at home finishing her homework and other last minute things before the limo arrives. While getting ready, she gets the latest post about Jenny and Nate and goes into a jealous fit. She decides that she's going to tell Chuck that evening that she can't go with him to the gala. That she just wants to be friends. She wants to wait for Nate. She thinks he will come around again, just like last time, and this time she wants to be there waiting for him instead of going to Chuck now.

After the girls leave, Melissa notices that her silver bracelet is missing so she uses it as an excuse to call Matt where she finds out that he doesn't even remember that he was with her last Friday night. She hangs up before she starts crying.

The limo arrives and Blair gets in to find that she's going to be taken to Chuck and that everything is a surprise. While in the limo, Elise calls and tells her about how horrible Hazel is. We find out that Blair sent Elise on a mission at Melissa's and that Elise accomplished whatever it was.

Nate shows up at The Palace to see Chuck only to find out that he's not in. He realizes that the only way Chuck would find out about Jenny's involvement is if Blair was speaking to Chuck again. So he decides to go to Blair's where he finds out that _she_ is out for the evening as well. He tries to convince himself that it's just a coincidence. He resigns himself to talking to Chuck in the morning. And after he talks to Chuck, he's going to talk to Blair.

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CHAPTER 15 – Blair and Chuck's yacht dinner date. Jenny's scared of Chuck at home.

February 12, Tuesday

Blair arrives at the docks to find Chuck waiting for her with a yacht close by. After they get on board and she sees where they are having dinner, she gets suspicious about his reasons for doing all this. He brushes it off. She's acting weird. They sit and dinner is served.

At home, Jenny is freaking out about the entire situation with Chuck. She's scared and hates being home alone at the moment. She texts Nate to find out if he's spoken to Chuck yet only to find out that he won't be talking to him until the morning. This doesn't calm her down.

Blair tells Chuck that she doesn't want to go to the Gala with him. He tries to get her to explain. Dessert is served and he makes her accept it. He makes her eat the dessert. She uses it to avoid talking to him. She mentions that they won't last, so what's the point. He tells her they should live in the now. Then he asks her what she wants. She says she doesn't know before going to the ladies room.

In the ladies room, Blair locks the door and ends up purging. She apologizes to Serena in her mind, but she can't help it. She ate too much and she's just so confused. She needs to find some control.

Dan arrives home to find Jenny watching 'Friends', which she hasn't done in a very long time. He tells her that even though they aren't on the best of terms at the moment, she's still his sister and he's always going to be there for her. She proclaims that she doesn't need him because she found someone else to help her, namely Nate.

Chuck tries to find some music on the radio because the discs he brought don't fit the mood at the moment. He admires the pink diamond necklace he was going to give her that evening but since she's so suspicious of his actions already, he decides to wait until after he tells her the truth to give her it. He finally reads GG's post about Jenny and Nate and realizes that's why Blair is acting the way she is. Blair comes back. They talk. Eventually a Mary J. Blige song comes on that Blair dubs her theme song. She listens to it and sways as she goes out to the terrace. Chuck turns up the music and follows. She realizes that Chuck knows everything about her—much more than Nate ever knew—and still wants her. She finally decides that she'll go to the Gala with him, thus throwing away her chance of making up with Nate. But she makes him promise that he will never hurt her again. He promises.

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CHAPTER 16 – More of the C/B dinner date. Nate threatens Chuck. Blair has lunch with girls, changes all the plans for Sweetheart Gala.

February 12, Tuesday: Still

Chuck asks Blair to dance and they have the dance they never got to have at Cotillion. Then Chuck opens the present Blair gave him. It's a bottle of some of the finest scotch. They both pour a drink and relax together on the couch, admiring the view through the glass wall. Blair starts to open up about her feelings after her humiliation. She tells him about almost leaving for France. He decides that he feels too guilty to open up to her. She accepts that he's not ready to be so open just yet.

February 13, Wednesday

Chuck wakes up and decides that today is going to be a good day. He was feeling great about the night before. Of course, his morning goes south quickly when Nate shows up. Nate tells him to not touch Jenny. Chuck agrees, though he only agrees to not "touch" Jenny, didn't mean he couldn't do something else. He tries to get Nate to stay for breakfast. Nate says "screw you" and leaves.

Blair has lunch with Hannah, Natalie, and Liz. She changes all the plans for the Gala—well, the room setup and the decorations. She tries to change the music—Hazel hired the same DJ who spun at Matt's party. After the party talk, Hannah tries to get more information about Blair and Chuck. Blair doesn't want to talk about it. Then she asks if Blair's going to the dance with someone. Blair says yes but doesn't tell her who—she wants it to be a surprise. Blair ends up leaving feeling pretty victorious, especially since Hannah mentioned having "lunch" with her again.

Jenny got word from Nate that everything was okay with the Chuck situation, but Chuck glaring at her makes her realize that all is not okay and that going to Nate was probably the worst thing she could have done.

Chuck was pleased that he seemed to be scaring Jenny. He goes to the shared school lunch room and is pleased to see Blair sitting and talking with some girls and actually seeming to be enjoying her self. He was very pleased, and had high hopes about everything working out okay for her.

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CHAPTER 17 – Matt's interested in Blair. Chuck asks Blair if they can become official before the gala. Eric talks Serena into getting ready for dinner. Elise and Blair have "girl" fun until Nate shows up.

February 13, Wednesday: Still

Matt flirts with Melissa after school. Jenny snaps at him because of the way he's been treating Melissa, but Mel just glares at her to stop. Matt pretends to listen to Hazel's prattle about the Gala committee but is distracted when he sees Blair. Then Hazel asks him if he's going with anyone to the Gala. He says no, but then he asks Melissa if he'll see her there, giving her hope of something possibly happening. She agrees before he walks off. She remembers to ask him about her bracelet but he forgot about it. He claims he'll look later. Just then, Elise comes down the stairs, she has plans to go to Blair's but Jenny stops her and tells her they need help with supplies. She agrees, but only so she doesn't injure her and Blair's plans.

Gossip Girl releases a post that gives more details about Chuck and Blair's romance. She also mentions the tidbit about Blair having lunch with N, H, and L. GG wonders about a hostile takeover.

Chuck and Blair talk on the phone after school. Chuck can't spend the evening with her because he has to go to a "family" dinner with the van der Woodsen's before Lily and Bart go away for a romantic weekend in honor of the holiday. They joke about Chuck's present that morning of two giant stuffed bears with the names "Blair #2" and Blair #3" embroidered on them. This is in honor of their "Heather's" joke. Chuck then mentions that tomorrow is Valentine's Day and he'd like to give her his present tomorrow in person—at school. He wants the world to know that they are together on Valentine's Day instead of waiting for Friday night's dance. Blair agrees.

Elise finally shows up at Blair's. She's brought a secret something with her. She had to take all the supplies that she picked up to Kati's and that's what took her so long. She tells Blair about Hazel's reaction to Hannah and the girls changing all the plans for the dance, as well as Hazel's anger at Gossip Girl's post. The two go up to Blair's room and Blair gets some things together to go to work on Elise's "special something". Elise sees the chocolates and asks about them. Blair ends up telling Elise that she's going to the dance with Chuck.

Lily has to get Eric to talk to Serena to make her get ready for dinner. Serena is less than enthusiastic about having dinner with Bart and Chuck. Eric finally convinces her but only after proclaiming that Chuck can't be that horrible. Serena tells her brother that he has a lot to learn, but she finally agrees to get ready.

Blair and Elise are having "girl" time, working on their project. They ordered in from a pizza joint, Elise getting pizza and Blair getting a salad. They're talking about crazy old people, Blair talks about her mother's Moroccan themed party and Elise talks about her crazy grandmother. They are interrupted when Nate showed up. Blair goes down to meet him, telling Elise to stay in the room. She decides she's going to give him a piece of her mind.

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CHAPTER 18 – Matt starts a fight with Nate. The van der Bass family dinner. Nate and Blair's confrontation. Blair learns the truth about Chuck. Serena leaves to help Blair. Jenny and Vanessa scheme against Chuck. Blair ignores Chuck.

February 13, Wednesday: Earlier That Afternoon

Luke and Tim invite Nate to hang out at Brandon's. When they get there, Matt's there too. They all hang out, playing games, smoking weed. Except Nate doesn't partake of the herb. Matt gives him a hard time and starts an argument with him. Nate doesn't understand where the rudeness is coming from, but he gets pissed when Matt talks about his dad and Blair. Nate ends up leaving without physical violence happening because Luke breaks it up. He goes to finally talk to Blair.

It's a Van der Bass family dinner and it isn't going well. Bart's trying to connect with Eric, Chuck thinks his father has "done bumped his head" but just shrugs it off. He might possibly be a teeny bit jealous. Bart makes plans with Eric and Chuck to go to a ball game when the Marlins play New York. Chuck takes the opportunity to make some indecent comments to Serena. The "family" talks about Bart and Lily's upcoming trip to Milan.

Nate is at Blair's. He's finally going to ask her all the questions he's been wanting answers to for so long. He calls her a whore for sleeping with Chuck for revenge. She's upset and denies that she slept with Chuck for that reason. She ends up slapping him after he insinuates that she's a whore again. He apologizes for being so rude. She explains that Chuck just made up the entire Carter situation. She also tells him about Chuck blackmailing her after they got back from Monaco. He still can't forgive her so she tells him to leave. While he waits for the elevator he reads the note with the flowers on the hall table and realizes that Blair and Chuck are seeing each other again. She tries to defend Chuck but Nate reveals that Chuck was the one who destroyed her. She doesn't believe him until he says that Chuck was the one who told him. She tells him to leave, shocked and hurt.

Blair slowly makes her way back to her room. She encourages Elise to talk about her new puppy. She asks Elise if she can have some of her pizza. Elise says yes before starting to talk about the new puppy.

Back at the Van der Bass family dinner, Lily is talking about the wedding. She wants Blair to be a bridesmaid. Serena agrees to ask Blair for her. Lily says that Serena will be the maid of honor while Chuck is best man, and Eric is a groomsman. Then Lily starts talking about the Gala. As a school board member she usually attends the dances, but not this time. Serena tells Lily that Blair planned the entire event even though she wasn't officially in charge. Then Lily asks about dates to the gala. Serena is going with Dan, Eric doesn't have a date, and Bart answers for Chuck—that he plays the field. Eric screws up when he changes the subject back to baseball, not knowing that the Marlins would play the Mets, not the Yankees. Chuck begins to see that something is up with his soon-to-be new stepbrother. Meanwhile, Serena covers for Eric right before her phone ring.

Serena answers the phone to find a frantic Elise worried about Blair. Blair has locked herself in the bathroom after eating three slices of pizza. Blair told Elise to call Serena. Serena makes her excuses with Lily before leaving to go to help Blair.

Jenny's still upset about things with Chuck and Vanessa decides to help. Vanessa tells Jenny about a plan to ruin Chuck before he could ruin her.

Serena shows up at Blair's and finds out the truth. She comforts Blair and runs her a hot bath before preparing her bed.

Jenny is worried that Chuck will kill her if he ever found out that she was the one behind Vanessa's idea. Vanessa convinces her that he won't find out that it was Jenny, and that he might even think Blair is behind it.

Blair is finally ready for bed. She asks Elise to stay with her. Elise is the only person in Blair's life who hasn't betrayed and hurt her in some way. She thinks it's only a matter of time before Elise joins the club, but for now, it was nice to have a loyal friend near. Serena is surprised that Elise has been invited to stay, but doesn't say anything. Elise tells Blair the story about her puppy again.

February 14, Thursday: Valentine's Day

Chuck shows up at school, anxiously waiting for Blair. He's excited about giving her the diamond ring he has in his pocket. He's about to claim her in front of the entire school, the UES, and the world as his own. Blair finally shows up, walking to school with Serena. Instead of going to him, she walks right by, completely ignoring him. Serena glares at him to "back off". He's confused and doesn't understand until he sees the faces around him and decides to check out Gossip Girl's latest post.

Gossip Girl reports that Chuck Bass has created a grant for teens with herpes. She insinuates that he sympathizes with them because he apparently contracted herpes during his vacation in Monaco from some French whore.

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CHAPTER 19 – Chuck learns that Blair knows the truth. Melissa and Blair have a show down at lunch. Serena tells Dan that Jenny wasn't responsible. D/S have their Valentine's date. Chuck tries to make up with Blair. Dan and Jenny make up. Matt asks Blair to the gala. She accepts.

February 14, Thursday: Still

Chuck laughs at the message, making people around him wonder if it's really true. Then he starts to wonder if Blair thinks it's true. He texts her and asks. She texts back and basically tells him that she knows the truth. He freezes and doesn't know what to do.

Melissa and her group of friends are laughing about the latest news about Chuck. While making their way from the steps to school, Melissa notices Matt checking out Blair. She gets very jealous.

In homeroom, Serena finally remembers what day it is and that she hasn't told Dan about Jenny being innocent yet. She texts him to let him know. He's shocked and the guilt starts to eat at him.

Since its snowing, the "it" girls eat lunch in the cafeteria. They are discussing dates to the gala. Hazel declares that she will dance with Nate. Melissa tries to pay attention but is still upset about Matt's attention toward Blair. She spots Blair leaving the lunch room and decides to go after her, her anger getting the better of her. Hazel decides to follow to show her support. Kati and Is decide not to go and think they'll be able to get away with it because Jenny didn't go. Jenny was too busy being texted by Dan. He wants to meet and talk to her. She doesn't want to. He tells her he needs to talk to her at home.

Blair's alone in the cafeteria trying to eat lunch when she notices Chuck making his way toward her. She grabs her books and heads for the door. She's stopped by Melissa and Hazel who take the opportunity to call her a slut, once again. Blair points out that Melissa still dresses like her, like she's some sort of clone. Blair also points out that Hazel's reign is drawing to an end because she can't control the school or her own group of friends who didn't come join her to back her up for this confrontation with Blair. Blair ends up winning the argument and walking away victorious, not caring if Chuck was still there or not.

Elise backs into Jenny's chair by accident, causing a spill. Jenny puts Elise down, claiming she needed to watch what she ate because her hips are too big. Elise cleans up the mess but she starts to wonder if she really should start eating what the other girls eat. She's also starting to be much happier about Blair's plans for Jenny's takedown.

Chuck works on fixing the mess at school over his reputation, while worrying about fixing the situation with Blair. He tries to talk to her after school. She doesn't want to hear it. He thinks for a second that she was the one who told Gossip Girl that he had herpes but she denies it. She tells him to leave her alone and walks away. He tries to go for her again but Serena stops him.

Meanwhile, Matt was eavesdropping on Chuck and Blair's conversation. He realizes that he's jealous when he finds out that Chuck and Blair had still been seeing each other. He also finds out that Chuck really doesn't have herpes and he's quite relieved about that.

Blair convinces Serena to go ahead on her Valentine's date with Dan, that she'll be okay at home by herself. Serena agrees reluctantly.

Jenny arrives home to find a package waiting for her. The package contains a beautiful pink dress and something else, along with a note from her secret admirer telling her that they will get together tomorrow night at the gala.

Dan and Serena have a fantastic time roller skating.

Chuck shows up at Blair's and tries to convince her to forgive him. He shows her the ring, but she still turns on him. She tells him she doesn't want him in her life anymore. He finally leaves. There's nothing else he can do.

Dan and Serena end their perfect Valentine's evening. Serena invites Dan up because Lily's away in Milan, but he wants to go home to talk to Jenny. He shows up with a box of chocolates for his sister. He tells her that he knows it wasn't her and he apologizes. He also figures out that it _was_ her who spread the herpes rumor about Chuck.

After Chuck leaves, Blair is left with her thoughts. She keeps telling herself over and over that Chuck wasn't good for her. That he just kept hurting her. That he couldn't be trusted again. She also thinks about the package she had delivered to Jenny that afternoon and how even though Jenny wasn't the one responsible for Gossip Girl's post, Jenny still told Nate—so Blair was very much going to follow through with her plan to destroy Jenny. Then she realizes that she told people at school that she was going to have a special date for the gala. But she was no longer going with Chuck. She was screwed if she didn't show up with someone. Then Matt calls and convinces her to go with him. She tells him she isn't going to sleep with him and he's okay with that. She also thinks that going with Matt will be a perfect way to get back at Melissa. Then the only person left to get back at will be Hazel.

**

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CHAPTER 20 – Jenny's humiliation

February 15, Friday: The Sweetheart Gala – Part One

Nate thinks about how he probably couldn't forgive Blair because he still hasn't forgiven himself for the way he treated Blair. He thinks about how panicked he became when he found out that Chuck and Blair were back together. He thought that meant that Blair actually loved Chuck since she was able to forgive him for what he'd done. But when he realized that Blair didn't know about Chuck's actions, he knew that it wasn't too late. And he also decided he couldn't hold everything against her anymore. He was the one who had turned his back on _her_. He decides he's going to dance with her, make up with her, talk to her. That is until Hazel starts bothering him for a dance and Blair shows up on the arm of Matt Cunningham.

Melissa is trying to calm Kati and Is down. They are upset and worried that they blend in with the decorations. Hazel planned the gala for 7, even though they tried to tell her 8 was a better time. Most people didn't arrive until closer to 8 anyway. Melissa notices heads turning to look at the entrance, and her blood runs cold when she sees who just entered the gala together.

Chuck had spent most of the day diffusing the herpes rumor and had done a pretty good job of it. While there will still be some people who question the possibility that he has the disease, for the most part he had settled thing. But the rumor was just a small blip compared to his other problem of figuring out what to do to get Blair back. He thinks about spending all night putting himself in Blair's place and finally understanding what she meant when she said that he didn't care, that he didn't know how to put her first. He feels remorse for the first time in his life. He wants to fix things with Blair, but all bets are off… especially when she doesn't show up with Serena and Dan.

Blair hopes that Jenny arrives by herself and doesn't enter with Serena and Dan. She also plans her grand entrance with Matt. They decide to dance. Meanwhile, Nate is angry when he realizes that Matt is using Blair to get to him. Chuck feels pangs that Blair actually has a date when it was supposed to be him with her. Melissa bemoans the fact that she dressed to perfection—and nothing like Blair—to wow Matt and all Matt seemed to see _was_ Blair.

Jenny does decide to enter alone, sending Dan up to pick up Serena. She thinks about her family situation and how she still blames herself for her parents divorce because she was the one who brought Alison home. She also feels left out a lot by the two men of the house, but she's happy that things have changed now because she has the perfect friends, perfect reputation, and, soon-to-be, perfect boyfriend.

Kati notices Jenny's arrival and freaks when she sees the tiara Jenny is wearing. It's the base of the one Kati was supposed to wear to the gala—an exact match to Isabel's. Jenny denies stealing the tiara but Kati doesn't believe her. Melissa remembers her missing silver bracelet and blames Jenny for that too. Jenny denies it, but once again, it doesn't matter. She finally tells them that Nate gave her the tiara. Nate's with Hazel, not really paying attention, but he's confused to hear his name. Plus, Hazel freaks out because she wants Nate and is angry that Jenny lied about wanting to be with Nate. Jenny tries to blame Blair for everything, but Blair points out that she's not allowed at the girls' homes anymore _and_ that Jenny stole a jacket from her mother. Hazel officially dismisses Jenny. Jenny leaves in a rush of tears and humiliation but not before spotting Chuck Bass smirking at her and assumes that he was the one responsible.

**

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CHAPTER 21 – Chuck knows B/S are keeping some secret about B. Nate forgives Blair. Blair sets Eric and Elise up. Hazel has problems with music. Dan finds out what "Chuck" did to Jenny.

February 15, Friday: The Sweetheart Gala – Part Two

Dan waits for Serena to finish getting ready and helps Eric with his tie. Eric isn't sure about his outfit, but Serena knew Blair was trying some matchmaking with Elise so understood the concept of the matching outfits. Serena also has a matching tie for Dan that goes with her outfit, which he changes into. Eric leaves to get a table. Dan and Serena make their way downstairs to the gala. Chuck is listening in as they talk about Blair and Serena says that neither Chuck _nor_ Nate are good for Blair. Dan invites Serena to lunch tomorrow but Serena already has plans with Blair, though she doesn't tell him what those plans are (i.e.: go to see a shrink).

Chuck is eavesdropping and notices that Serena doesn't tell Dan what she and Blair are doing tomorrow. He also finds it very interesting that Serena said _Nate_ isn't good for Blair either. His curiosity is raised and he's even more interested in finding out where Serena and Blair are going tomorrow—and wonders if it has something to do with where they went last weekend.

Dan and Serena join Matt and Blair on the dance floor before Serena realizes that Eric is standing by himself and hasn't procured a table. She goes to him and then finds a table, effectively kicking the people sitting at the table out of their seats. They all sit down and Matt and Blair join them a few minutes later because the DJ starts playing an inappropriate song. Hazel has to go get the DJ to turn off the song and ends up ticking everyone off. The DJ switches up the song.

Meanwhile, Blair uses Matt to get Melissa jealous back at her seat. Chuck wonders why Blair's acting so un-Blair like with Matt, but then realizes that she's trying to upset Melissa. Once the new song starts, Blair asks Eric to dance. Brandon shows up to hang with Matt and Serena drags Dan back up to the dance floor.

Blair suggests Eric go talk to Elise just as Nate showed up to ask Blair to dance. Eric went off to Elise while Blair and Nate started dancing. Nate manages to upset her, so she leaves him on the dance floor. He follows and apologizes and lets her know that he can forgive her. She thanks him but she doesn't want to rush back together with him. He understands. The air is basically cleared between them. She's about to return to Matt when a jealous Matt shows up, grabs Blair by the wrist, and threatens Nate. Blair diffuses the situation. Nate leaves. Matt and Blair return to the dance floor.

Chuck is doing some male bonding, building up his reputation. He's planning on hosting an after party since the guys seem to be interested in one and the only one they heard about was Hazel's. But he wants to talk to Blair first. He sees Blair with Nate and is astounded when Nate leaves alone and Blair goes back to dancing with Matt. He wonders if Blair actually turned Nate away and, if so, was it because she had feelings for Chuck?

Dan was getting worried because he hadn't seen Jenny yet. He accidentally left his phone in his jacket at coat check, so he goes to get it.

Meanwhile, Blair is thinking about how she's trying to get her life together and that doesn't involve including Nate or Chuck in it ever again. She's going to work on kicking the eating disorder, she's going to go on a couple mock dates with Matt, and she's going to get her good name back in spades. Then Eric cuts in and she goes to him. Matt is angry about Eric's cut but doesn't say anything. Then Melissa shows up and reminds him that he promised her a dance. So he accepts.

Dan finally gets his phone and sees the missed calls from Jenny. He calls her and finds out what happened. Serena can do nothing but follow as Dan goes after Chuck.

**

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CHAPTER 22 – Chuck gets to dance with Blair. Serena doesn't think Chuck destroyed Jenny. Dan and Matt both confront Chuck. Blair admits her feelings for Chuck to Serena.

February 15, Friday: The Sweetheart Gala – Part Three

Chuck talked Melissa into getting Matt to dance with her. He gets Eric to cut in between Matt and Blair. He intends to cut in to get Blair by himself.

Meanwhile, Blair asks Eric about Elise and he tells her he's having fun talking to her and he likes her. We have a flashback to Eric's asking Elise to dance. Then Chuck butts in with Eric's help.

Blair tries to get away from Chuck, but Chuck tells her he'll come after her and make a scene. So she stops, but she just moves awkwardly to the music, not even looking at him. He gets her to look at him, but he doesn't say anything yet. He's pleased that his little plan fell into place. Now he needs to get through to her, he's just not sure how.

Dan's on his way to beat the crap out of Chuck but Serena stops him when she realizes that Chuck is with Blair. She doesn't want to cause Blair any amount of embarrassment. She gets Dan to calm down for the moment and explain what Jenny said.

Blair's angry at Chuck. He's happy about her anger because it means she cares enough to have a reaction. He asks her about Matt and he apologizes again. He tries to get her to admit that she likes him too. She tells him that she can't. He stares intently at her. She tries not to look at him, but can't help it. He kisses her. She doesn't pull away even though she's screaming at herself to. He kisses her again and pulls her into his embrace. Then he touches her face gently. She can't hold back her tears and she leaves the dance floor after telling him that he's not good for her. He watches her leave, still confused by that sentiment.

Serena tells Dan that she doesn't think Chuck was behind Jenny's humiliation and she actually goes so far as to wonder if Jenny really did steal those things. This pisses Dan off and he gets angry at Serena for defending Chuck. Serena tells him that he's not being fair. She points out that Chuck couldn't have gotten into the girls' rooms to get the items, especially since the girls weren't even talking to him. Serena ends up going after Blair when she leaves Chuck on the dance floor, warning Dan not to fight with Chuck in the middle of a school function. Dan goes to Chuck.

Meanwhile, Matt is in the middle of dancing with Melissa. She tries to find out why he's been acting so differently since last week. He tells her that he's not interested in her. She asks him if he's interested in Blair, and he says yes. Then she indicates Chuck and Blair and says that obviously Blair isn't interested in Matt. Matt sees Blair kissing Chuck and tries to hold back his anger but he can't. He leaves Melissa and goes for Chuck just as Blair leaves him.

Matt and Dan reach Chuck at the same time. Dan tells Matt to back off, Matt tells Dan to back off. Matt tells Chuck that Blair is his and he needs to back off of Blair. Dan tells Matt and Chuck to stay away from Blair. Matt thinks Dan's in love with Blair too. Dan denies that. Chuck thinks Dan came to bother him because he was with Blair. Dan tries to deck him and lets him know he's angry about his sister's humiliation. Chuck denies having anything to do with Jenny's thievery. A chaperone interrupts and the boys' fight is over for the time being.

Serena finds Blair trying not to cry on a bench down a hall. Blair tells Serena about Nate's forgiveness and wanting to get back together. She tells Serena that she doesn't understand the power Chuck seems to have over her. She also reveals to Serena that she was happy with Chuck and had finally chosen to be with him over Nate before the truth came out. She tells Serena that she had given Chuck everything, even trusted him with her heart. She closes off after being so open. Then she asks Serena about using her suite for an after party since Lily was out of town. Blair's last spotted on her way back to the dance to set it up.

**And on to Chapter 23! --**


	25. Chapter 23

**REMINDER! REMINDER! REMINDER!**

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about **Season 2**. Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

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This story takes place after the events of **A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate**. Concepts from later episodes may be used.

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**Saturday, February 13****th****. 8:00 am.**

"Dad, look, I really think that April is too soon," Nate said firmly to his father.

After leaving the gala early the evening before, he'd headed out and got lost in his thoughts for a while. Seemed he did that too often nowadays, but he had a lot on his mind.

First and foremost was Blair. It was odd how finally being able to forgive her and acknowledging that he still loved her had given him so much relief. It seemed like it was taking more and more effort to be angry. And he was still angry—at Chuck and at Matt—but he and Blair had made up and that was rejuvenating his spirits even if things weren't back to normal between him and Blair yet.

"Son," Howie began, "Sit with me." He motioned to a bench.

They were on the grounds of the rehab center, indulging in one of their traditional morning runs. They had slowed down enough for Nate to finally address the other problem that was bothering him. He figured if he'd been able to take care of his problems with Blair, he could take on anything. This gave him the courage to speak his mind about his father's early release from the rehab facility.

Nate nodded and sat down hesitantly, wondering if his father was going to try to worm his way through an explanation once again. The Captain was good at speaking to Nate like he was twelve. He never seemed to want to acknowledge that Nate was, in fact, seventeen.

"I know this seems soon, but the doctors know what they're doing. They wouldn't sign the release forms if they weren't sure about this," Howie explained.

Nate sighed. He knew that, but somehow it wasn't reassuring him.

"So the doctors are convinced," Nate said. "But that's not me. Convince _me_."

Howie turned to face forward on the bench before lounging back. He seemed to be lost in thought for a moment.

"What do you want to know?" Howie finally asked.

"Why did you… you know what? No, I don't want to know _why_ you did this—took those drugs, embezzled that money. I _know_ why," Nate said. "I want to know if _you_ know why."

Howie glanced over at Nate, slight surprise on his face.

"I mean, look Dad," Nate said, leaning toward his father. "We keep beating around the bush and not talking about it, but it's time. Especially now. You told me you needed a pick-me up. You told me that you're innocent. We both know that if they didn't have a case against you, this wouldn't be happening. I want to know why _you_ think you did all this."

"Maybe you should be a psychiatrist instead of a lawyer," Howie said with slight amusement, though his eyes conveyed the seriousness of the situation.

"Don't change the subject—as if you'd ever let me be anything but a lawyer," Nate added with a smirk.

"Son," Howie began slowly, "this isn't easy for me… but I've had a lot of time to think and… the pressure just got to me."

"Pressure?" Nate asked, encouraging his father. "What pressure?"

"I think that I didn't start to put it all together until I thought about you," Howie said.

"M-me?" Nate asked, startled.

"Like the lawyer thing," Howie said. "I've been pushing you towards this life. Dartmouth, law school, Blair. And you know why I do it?"

Nate didn't answer, just waited for his father to respond. He had a feeling what Howie said next would be very important.

"Control," Howie said finally. "I have no control over my own life. I love your mother very much, but loving your mother and living with your mother and her family are two entirely different things. She holds the purse strings. I got everything I have from her—the job, the house, the yacht. I didn't have to work for anything. But you, you are the one thing I have some control over. Its like, I came up with the perfect most successful future for you and then pushed you to do what I wanted… because I had nothing else to live for…"

Nate realized midway through his father's confession that he had forgotten to breathe. He took in a deep breath and stared at his father, not really sure what to say now.

"Nate," Howie looked at his son. "I'm sorry. You are the best son a man could ask for and I'm sorry for trying to control you. I'm sorry for not letting you live your life the way you want, making your own choices. So… while I'd rather you go to Dartmouth, become a lawyer, and marry Blair… you need to make your own choices… so you don't end up regretting everything… as I do."

Nate saw his father's eyes get a little shiny. He reached out and grabbed his hand.

Howie clasped it gratefully, knowing that it meant Nate was willing to accept his apology and forgive him.

After a long moment, Nate cleared his throat.

"I was wrong," Nate said.

Howie looked at him, quirking an eyebrow.

"April isn't too soon."

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**Gossip Girl here, and where were **_**you**_** last night? The place to be was the Palace, and not necessarily the ballroom. C and S both hosted after parties, separately of course. Everybody who is anybody was in attendance and circulating between the two. Who's ranked first? Well, that's for you to decide. **

**Seems B is making a play for her former title, and succeeding. And do we spy a potential new king—MC to be exact. Don't worry dear subjects, he left by himself—B **_**has**_** learned something from her dethronement after all, no more slut-fests here.**

**E squared anyone? Normally our two little E's wouldn't rate a mention, but while mini-vdW was making an impression on C, little-E was making an impression on B. Do we see a new lieutenant joining B's ranks? And what about C and mini-vdW? C showed new baby bro a glimpse into his world—a big glimpse if S's red face was any indication.**

**But S's face couldn't compare to H's—the girl that would be queen. With everyone at S & C's, nobody bothered showing up at H's. Ah, another night on the UES—parties, sex, betrayals, drugs, alcohol, did she, did **_**he**_**? Oh, and did anyone see F's Prada backpack or H's sterling silver pen? Or should I just ask little J? Her five finger discount just became very sticky. **

**You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl**

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**Saturday, February 13****th****. 12:00 pm.**

"So, how was it?"

Blair tried not to flinch at the question as soon as she heard it. She wasn't in the best of moods. She was in Dr. Sherman's home office. She was forced to come by herself because Serena got stuck taking care of Eric. Serena was so busy worrying about Dan and Blair—as well as playing host to the party Blair forced her to throw—that she hadn't realized that Eric didn't join Elise in the van der Woodsen's suite. Instead, he'd gone to the Bass suite and been subjected to Chuck's brand of fun.

When Serena had finally gone looking, she'd almost killed Chuck with a pool cue before dragging Eric home.

Blair had a pretty good time… after Matt left. As much as she was glad he filled in as her date at the last minute, he was starting to get a little too clingy. Unfortunately, she'd agreed to meet him for dinner Saturday night before he finally left. But, it was part of her plan to have a few "mock" dates with him, just as a front to show that she was truly over Chuck and Nate.

And for all intents and purposes, she was. No matter _what_ she admitted to Serena.

It didn't help that one of the first questions out of Isabel and Kati's mouths after Matt left was, _"So, how was it?"_, just as the shrink was asking now. It had taken Blair a moment to realize that not only had Isabel and Kati completely forgiven her, they also wanted to know what she thought about sex. She couldn't believe that they had the audacity to ask for details _now_, after turning their backs on her.

She hadn't dignified the question with an answer, but that didn't stop her from thinking about "it". She forced thoughts of "it" out of her head as she gave her approval of Elise. She was impressed at the way Elise fit right in. She had taught her well in preparation of this night. Kati and Is had already started to feel a slight affection for the girl as well, and when they realized Elise had Blair's full approval, Elise was the hottest thing at the party next to Blair.

Blair was careful though. She didn't want anyone to guess at Elise's involvement with the Jenny takedown. She made sure to pretend that she was meeting Elise for the first time that evening. Kati and Is didn't notice anything wrong—neither did anyone else.

"Blair?" Dr. Sherman asked.

"How was what?" Blair shook herself out of her reverie.

"How was the big dance? Last week you mentioned it," the doctor reminded her.

"Oh," Blair murmured. She hadn't wanted to talk much last week since she had fought Serena tooth and nail about coming, so she spouted off about anything and everything that had nothing to do with boys. "It was fine."

The doctor leaned back with a considering glance. "Blair, I noticed your friend isn't here today waiting for you."

"She couldn't make it," Blair answered quickly. Serena was probably cleaning up puke at the moment.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I got the feeling you didn't want to be here last week, but _she_ wanted you to be," the doctor said. She didn't want to put thoughts into Blair's head. She wanted to get Blair to open up without leading her anywhere.

Blair nodded.

"And yet, she couldn't make it this week and you still came?" the doctor formed the statement as a question, indicating without words that she wanted an explanation.

Blair sucked in a breath. "Well, I realized that she was right."

"About?" the doctor made a note, nodding encouragement.

"I need to be here," Blair said before looking around the office.

"Why do you need to be here, Blair?" she asked. This was all part of reaching the patient. Using what they say and forming it into a question to help them connect their thoughts easier.

Blair thought a moment before finally answering. "Because my life has gone completely out of control and I want to regain control without hurting myself." It was pretty much the standard response she gave to doctors. She had that one memorized and it usually gave Dr. Sherman a spark of amusement before they continued. It was Blair's way of letting her know that she'd had a relapse without actually saying the words.

"When did you first start to lose control?" Dr. Sherman asked with a little quirk to her lips. As much as Blair needed help, there was some relief in the familiarity of her responses.

Blair couldn't look at the woman. This woman was a professional and she had spent a lot of time talking to her, but she was also an adult. And Blair felt really uncomfortable talking about such things with adults.

"Blair, you know that as long as you sit in that chair, you will never be judged. Just relax and respond when you're ready."

Well, Dr. Sherman did know her well. She knew all about Blair's reputation and how important it was to her. She knew that Blair cared about what other people thought about her. She knew that purging wasn't just about control. It was also about maintaining the perfect weight in the eyes of society—and her mother.

Blair struggled to get a hold of her self, struggled to find a way to admit the truth for once when all she usually did was lie to her self.

"Well, you know that I had… a problem… during the holidays… because of my parents," Blair began.

The doctor just nodded.

"My boyfriend," Blair finally bit out the words. "Well, my ex-boyfriend. I lost control when I lost him."

Dr. Sherman frowned as she made a note. She knew that Blair had a long time boyfriend. She was partly worried about that relationship because she often thought the two were too young to have such a commitment to one another. Now it seemed as though the two had broken up. She could see where the loss of control would come in. Blair reveled in familiarity. Change made Blair lose her equilibrium.

"Why did you lose him?" she asked.

"Because… because I… because… I…," Blair stumbled through her words.

"Take your time, Blair."

"He broke my heart. He didn't love me. He-he… I did everything right. I don't know why he just couldn't love me," Blair said, finally opening up.

"And… suddenly everything was gone! Everything that I knew, it was over. And so I escaped… I tried so hard to just escape from it all, and I did…." Blair trailed off, closing her eyes.

"By purging?" Dr. Sherman asked.

Blair shook her head. "I have this… this… I guess you could call him friend? Well, _not_ anymore," Blair said with angry conviction. "But we were friends and I went to him and… and…" she trailed off again.

"When you're ready Blair," the doctor said softly.

"We hooked up," Blair finally just said simply. "We hooked up and then we were together. He had these feelings for me and I didn't know what I felt for him. Anyway, he screwed up, or I screwed up… I'm not even sure anymore. All I know is that it ended badly and my boyfriend wanted me back and so I went back to him."

"You said your boyfriend was now your ex?" the doctor drawled out without asking what happened.

"My… _friend_ made things impossible. See, he was my boyfriend's best friend and we were keeping the whole thing a secret… and he was angry, so he held the entire thing over my head. He just wouldn't let it go," Blair said with a huff.

"Why do you think that was?" the doctor asked, curious.

"Well, he told me. Because he had feelings for me and he was hurt," Blair said.

"I see," the doctor said. "And when did he tell you this?"

"Look, this isn't the point. The point is that he told _everyone_ about us. Everyone at school. Word got out and it was so horrible! And when my boyfriend found out, he ended it. Just like that! He didn't even ask me what happened! He didn't care!" Blair cried, her frustration showing.

"So, back to this friend, how did that make you feel? That he did that?" the doctor asked.

"I didn't know it was him at first, I thought it was someone else, so I-I-I just felt angry," Blair explained. "Angry and humiliated."

"So how did you feel when you found out it was this friend who was responsible?"

Blair quieted for a moment before finally responding, "Betrayed."

"I see," the doctor murmured before making another note.

"What do you see?" Blair asked.

"Let's move on," the doctor insisted. "What about—"

"No, I want to know what you see!" Blair insisted. "What do you see? He did! He betrayed me! We fixed things! We made up. He forgave me for going back to Nate. I forgave him for calling me those horrible things and for rejecting me when I needed him the most. We were back together. Everything was going to be perfect! And he pr-promised me. He _promised_ me that he wouldn't hurt me again. And he _knew! He KNEW!_ He knew that I didn't know it was him. And he didn't tell me. He didn't tell me…"

Blair couldn't stop crying.

The doctor waited for her to calm down, allowing the silence to permeate so that Blair could get control of herself.

"What about the ex boyfriend?" the doctor finally asked when Blair's sobs subsided.

"What about him?" Blair asked.

"You got back together with him?"

"I already said that. Then he dumped me. Because of the… other guy who I wasn't even with anymore," Blair explained spitefully.

"It seems you have some anger," the doctor prodded.

"Of course I'm angry, I just told you! He betrayed me!" Blair snapped.

"Not for the friend, for the ex," the doctor said.

Blair was silent, thinking about her words.

"Well, I guess…" Blair said.

"Yes?" the doctor encouraged.

"He didn't let me explain. Well, not then. This week he did. Took him a month, but he finally came to talk to me," Blair said.

"And how did that go?"

"Well, besides him spilling the beans on Chuck's betrayal? He called me a whore."

Blair looked at the doctor, gauging her reaction.

"I slapped him."

"How did that make you feel?"

"Shocked, astounded…"

"And?"

"… I guess… out of control…" Blair murmured.

"Why did you feel out of control, Blair?"

"Because I would never do anything to intentionally hurt him. Hitting him _was_ losing control… but I didn't deserve those words. That's what _he_ called me… the… the… _friend_. Well, not in so many words, but basically. And everyone at school was calling me that, and for so long I just felt like such a whore… and now he did it… and I… just lost control. I was doing so well. Yes, I'd been… my condition had been fluctuating, but I was dealing with it, albeit in secret… and…"

"Nate, Chuck… I can't control any of it. I can't control either of them. I can't make Nate love me. I can't make Chuck care about what his actions will do to me. And now they both want to make up and forget any of this mess ever happened. And I just feel so out of control. Once I'm ready to give up on Nate, he decides to forgive me? And how can I possibly forgive Chuck? Wouldn't that be opening up my self to all this again? Once bitten, twice shy, right?"

"So why are you here, Blair?" the doctor wasn't going to agree with anything Blair said. She was going to have to figure some things out on her own.

"Because I've been hurting myself again," Blair parroted.

"What's it going to take for you to stop hurting yourself?"

"Control… and losing a few pounds," Blair parroted.

"But you just said you can't control these things," Dr. Sherman reminded her. "And there's nothing wrong with your weight, Blair."

"Yes, there is. And if I can't control them, I just won't have anything to do with them," Blair said.

"The two boys?" Dr. Sherman asked.

"Yes," Blair said firmly. "I won't have anything to do with them anymore."

"Let me ask you a question."

"Okay?" Blair said warily.

"I'm not here to be your relationship counselor, but I _am_ here to help you sort out your feelings. How do you feel about each of these boys to_day_?" the doctor asked.

"Well, Nate forgave me last night and I think he wants to get back together… but I don't want to rush into anything again… and I want to figure all _this_," she gestured around the office, so the doctor knew she meant her problem, "out before I get involved in anything emotional again."

"And the other?" the doctor asked.

"He keeps apologizing. Which is odd because he never says 'I'm sorry' for anything… and I know he wishes he'd never humiliated me… but how _can_ I forgive someone who destroyed my life for his own amusement?" Blair asked.

"His own amusement?"

"Well… no. For revenge, but to Chuck Bass that is very amusing," Blair said.

"You know him well?"

"Too well," Blair rolled her eyes. "In fact, if I wasn't the one he'd done this to I would have found it amusing too."

"Really," the doctor said.

"Well, yeah," Blair sighed. "I probably should have expected him to do something like this… I just… I just didn't think he'd ever do it to _me_."

"Why not?"

"Because…" Blair said.

"That's not an answer," the doctor said with a soft smile.

"I… I trusted him," Blair finally said.

"You said you felt betrayed," the doctor nodded.

"It was more than that," Blair said.

"How so?"

"He was the only one left…"

"I don't understand," the doctor said.

"He was the only one left who hadn't done it," Blair finally said, looking down.

"Done what, Blair?" the doctor asked.

"Betrayed me," Blair whispered. She looked up at the doctor, her eyes wide as she finally admitted why knowing the truth about Chuck had hurt so much.

"Everyone else did. My boyfriend, my best friend, my mother, my father… everyone that was important in my life," Blair continued in a whisper, not wanting to speak these words too loudly. "And even though we were fighting and he made me so mad, I would never have thought that he would do this to me because of everything we'd been through. He said some of the worst things he could possibly say to me and I said some pretty horrible things to him… but to hurt me this way… I just… How _could_ he? Didn't he care at all about me? We were friends before we were more. Didn't that friendship mean anything to him? How could he…" Blair swiped at her eyes.

"No, of course not," Blair said quickly, shaking her head. "He didn't care. Of course he didn't. He's Chuck Bass. How could I forget?"

"I can't tell you what his feelings are, but I think you've made a bit of a break through here," the doctor nodded.

"How?" Blair asked confused.

"As long as I've known you, I know that you have a hard time admitting things to yourself unless you say it out loud. As long as it's inside, you can pretend it doesn't matter or never happened. You just admitted that this second boy is important to you. You said that everyone important in your life has betrayed you and he was the only one left who hadn't. You included him in that group," Dr. Sherman said.

Blair clamped her lips together and turned her head away. She _had_ basically said that, hadn't she? Why did she decide to come to these sessions? She didn't want to admit things like that ever again!

"I asked you to tell me how you felt about each of those boys and you said that you didn't want to rush anything with the first, and you said that the second one is important to you," the doctor said. "Anything else?"

"Well, of course Nate is important to me too!" Blair said quickly.

"Yes, I know," the doctor nodded. "But you didn't know that about the other one before."

"Ah! You're starting to confuse me," Blair said, holding up a hand.

"Why is that?"

"Because… because… I don't know! I don't want to talk about them anymore. I just want to forget about them. I don't want them to be important… especially not _Chuck_," Blair spat out his name.

"And how do you feel knowing that you can't forget about them? And knowing that they are important to you?" Dr. Sherman asked.

"Like I want to throw up!" Blair said sarcastically and flippantly.

"But you can't throw up, Blair," the doctor said. "You're not allowed to do that anymore. So, what are you going to do instead?"

"Ignore them," Blair insisted.

"Well, you can ignore them physically, but you just said you can't forget them…what else can you do?"

"I don't know!" Blair snapped.

Dr. Sherman was silent for a long moment, allowing Blair time to think about the question some more before continuing.

"And that's what we need to work on for next time," Dr. Sherman finally said softly. "What else are you going to do? And, I didn't forget what you said about losing a few pounds."

Blair rolled her eyes.

"Blair, there is more to life than being perfect. There is more to life than being perfect in the eyes of everyone around you. But it's going to take more than me telling you that for you to believe it. Perfection, control, it's all part of your problem. Until _you_ realize that they aren't that important, you will never fully stop. For now, we should schedule a session on Wednesday and you will eat regular, healthy meals without purging. You told me you came by yourself because you knew you needed help. I know that you will work that much harder toward not giving in."

Blair frowned at her. She had to be perfect. Why didn't anyone understand that? And she wasn't going to eat _regular_ meals. What did that mean anyway? She just wouldn't eat so much that she'd have to throw it up. That was all there was to it.

"How's four thirty on Wednesday?" Dr. Sherman asked as she flipped through her scheduler.

"That's fine," Blair said, almost pouting.

"We'll see you then."

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"Go away, Chuck," Blair snapped as she stomped down the street, back ramrod straight, on the verge of panic. She didn't know how he found her, but as soon as she started her walk a familiar black limo drove up beside her. She hoped that he had no idea what she had just been doing.

"I'm trying to figure out what Blair Waldorf could possibly be doing in that brownstone on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Nothing's coming to me, so I figured I'd ask," Chuck replied glibly from his limo window. And he thought Serena was supposed to be with her… he made a mental note to avoid Serena for a few days. Things must not be going well with Eric.

"Go away, Chuck," Blair snapped again.

"Need a ride home?" Chuck offered.

"I'll catch a cab," Blair said, not sure why she was still answering his questions. She should be ignoring him. She knew that Dr. Sherman wouldn't reveal anything about their meetings, but that didn't mean Chuck couldn't snoop and find something out. She would rather move to France permanently that let Chuck have hold of her deepest darkest secret.

"But there's a perfectly functional limo right here," Chuck smirked.

"Go _away_, Chuck," Blair insisted.

"Can we just talk? I know you hate me, but last night—,"

"Last night was a mistake!" Blair turned around and glared at him. "I told you before and I'll tell you again. Being with you was the worst mistake of my life! You kissed me last night, but so what! We're over. We're nothing now and we never will be again. _Go away Chuck!_"

"See, I'd believe you, except you _have_ said that before and we _did_ get back together," Chuck managed to give a snarky reply even though he was frozen inside at her words. He knew she was only trying to hurt him and he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing that it was working. "And _you_ kissed _me_ back, don't forget that part."

"Chuck," Blair said very seriously, changing tactics. "This is getting kind of pathetic, don't you think?"

"What?" Chuck asked, incredulous.

"I mean, come on. I don't want to be with you. It's over. Why do you keep crawling back like some love sick puppy? Move on. I have," Blair said. She hoped her words would serve their purpose. She just needed him to leave her alone. Maybe the _moving on_ part would help with that too.

Chuck was quiet for a long moment. Humiliation was flowing through him at her words because he really was acting like a fool. But he also felt anger.

"Nate." Chuck finally managed to utter the name. It wasn't a question. He just wanted confirmation. If she had "moved on", that was the only conclusion to reach.

"Matt," Blair said simply, denying the Nate accusation.

"Matt. Matt?" Chuck asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're kidding right?"

"When have I ever been known to kid?" Blair deadpanned.

"You can't possibly…" Chuck started to deny that she could feel anything for that jerk.

"You know what? I don't know," Blair laughed. "And you know what else? It doesn't matter. Because it's _none_ of _your_ business."

She turned and walked away.

Chuck tried to hold back any final words. He knew he was acting like an idiot. He knew he should just walk away. He'd gambled big and he'd lost. He only had his pride left now, but he just couldn't let her walk away—not without saying anything else.

"I said I was sorry, what else can I do? Huh, what?" Chuck yelled at her back. She didn't even bother turning around or acknowledging his words, just kept going.

_Damn it!_ He shouted inside his head. He was so tired of watching her walk away from him. He'd screwed up once again, and it seemed so much more final this time. Before he had something to hold over her, something to hold _onto_ her with. Now he had nothing. No threats, no fights, nothing.

Why couldn't she just put this in the past? Why couldn't she just forgive him and let it go? They'd been friends for too long for this. She'd been able to forgive Serena and Nate, but she couldn't forgive _him_? He hadn't even cheated on her!

But, no… he'd done something much worse, and he knew it. He knew how important reputation was to her. He understood the school's hierarchy. He understood her, better than anyone else. He'd set out to hurt her in the worst way he possibly could and he'd succeeded.

No amount of groveling, apologizing, or intense kisses—apparently—was going to make her forgive that.

Oh, and then there was the part where she _loved_ Nate and Serena. She had never loved him, not even as a friend. He was familiar to her but not important. Just like she always was to him until Victrola. She was never going to forgive him because she was never going to love him.

He somehow had to accept that and "move on" as she said.

He just didn't know how to do that.

And maybe he didn't want to.

Maybe he didn't want to give up…

No matter how much she begged him to.

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**Saturday, February 13****th****. 1:00 pm.**

"Can we talk?"

"Now is not a good time, Dan," Serena said, trying to catch her breath.

"Am I, uh, interrupting something?"

"Well, in about five minutes you could be interrupting me _murdering Chuck!_" Serena groaned loudly.

"What'd he do?"

"Not only did he get my brother drunk, but he got him plastered. Passed out drunk! Eric's been recovering all morning. He can't keep anything down and he has a lovely gray tinge! He almost got Eric in a fight and he spent all evening dirtying his mind with whore stories! My brother is supposed to be pure and innocent and… and… sweet… and, _ah!_" Serena screamed in frustration.

"Chuck did all that?" Dan said.

"Yes," Serena huffed. "Anyway, how's Jenny?"

"Not good," Dan sighed. "She's so mortified. She's actually scared to go to school on Monday. I've tried to tell her that it will all blow over quickly, but even she knows I'm lying. She saw the Gossip Girl posts, and she's already gotten a couple calls from other people asking where their _stuff_ is. Even if something wasn't stolen and was just lost, they're all going to be looking to her for it. Chuck really did a number on her. Mind if I join you for that murdering?"

"Dan…" Serena said, her voice hesitant.

"Oh, that's right, as much as you hate him, you'd still defend him in this, knowing what he's capable of," Dan said. "I forgot about that. I just thought I'd check in on my _girl_friend, you know, the loving supportive one who trusts me."

"Oh, Dan, I trust you," Serena said, sighing softly as she replaced the cold rag on Eric's forehead. "I just don't think Chuck had the opportunity to set this up."

"But he threatened her," Dan reminded her.

"Yes, but how would he get those things? I mean, Kati's tiara? Kati would have taken it home and put it away in her private drawers until the dance. I know Kati, Dan. And I also know that Kati and Is haven't had anything to do with Chuck since Blair's humiliation. _How_ did _Chuck_ get that tiara, Dan? Just answer that for me. If you can answer that, I will believe you that Chuck is responsible. This has nothing to do with _liking_ or, ew, _defending_ Chuck, and everything to do with the truth, okay?"

"I guess you have a point," Dan said begrudgingly.

"I will not, however, accuse or infer—again—that she took those things her self. But I _will_ try everything I can to help her on Monday. I'll be there for her and have her back when you can't do it."

"What about Blair? I thought you needed to focus on her as much as possible?" Dan asked.

"After last night and today? Blair's holding her own quite well. She'll understand," Serena said, though she was unsure.

The fact that Blair had agreed to go to the doctors on her own—well, she had to because Serena couldn't leave Eric—meant that Blair was willing to work on this without Serena dragging her every step of the way. She wasn't going to abandon Blair, of course. She would make sure that Blair went to her appointments and be there for her as much as possible…and make sure Chuck and Nate left her alone… and keep an eye on Matt… okay, so helping Jenny while helping Blair was not going to be easy, but she had promised Blair and she knew Dan needed help.

"I really appreciate this, Serena," Dan said. "Just… make sure _you're_ okay first, okay? You can save the world, but one soul at a time, deal?"

Serena smiled as she bit back a sigh. Dan was right. She'd never worried this much about other people before. She was used to having her own fun and not even realizing that something bad was going on in someone else's life. Now, though, she was actually learning to be selfless. It was definitely different and made her feel better about her self… but at times it could be stressful.

Like, how she'd do anything for Blair, but Serena and Jenny weren't that close. This will be a huge favor for Dan, one that he didn't even ask for, but she had to do it because it was the right thing to do… didn't she?

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**Saturday, February 13****th****. 8:00 pm.**

If Blair had to remind herself that this was just for appearances sake one more time, she was going to scream. Well, not really—because that would be horribly unladylike and draw all the wrong kind of attention.

Matt Cunningham was proving that no amount of his last name would ever make him _cunning_. He was boring and unsure of himself and _that_ Blair couldn't stand. He was trying to show off this devil may care persona, but she could tell that he _did_ care what she thought of him. Which she would normally find cute, but in his bid to act the way he _thought_ she wanted, he was coming off as a cross between Chuck and Nate. Or rather, he spent one minute pretending to be Chuck and the next pretending to be Nate. She couldn't tell if he was full of himself or moody and brooding.

And she'd had about enough.

"More champagne?" Matt asked.

Blair just shook her head, holding her hand over her glass to further make her point. He seemed about ready to pour more anyway.

She didn't understand why he was acting this way. He wasn't nearly as nervous the night before. Was it really nerves?

He poured another glass for himself, appearing even more nervous as he tried to relax and drink.

He didn't know what his problem was. He was fine last night, but then they were surrounded by friends and didn't actually have to talk to one another. Now, it was just him and _Blair_, and he was ashamed to admit to himself that he didn't want to say anything that she would think was stupid. So he stumbled over his words, agreeing with everything she said, and let her lead the conversation… but she wasn't talking now and he didn't know what to do or say next.

"So…" Matt said before tilting his head, not making eye contact.

"Look, Matt," Blair said, finally laying the cards all out on the table, "I don't know what's wrong, but you either want to say something or you don't know what to say, which I don't understand considering we had no problems at the gala or even the party after. So, talk, and tell me what's on your mind… if there _is_ something on it." She didn't mean to sound crass, like she thought he was dimwitted, but she couldn't help it.

Matt miraculously stopped shifting and made full on eye contact. "Last night two of your former boyfriends both made plays for you while we were together. I didn't say anything to you, just took it up with them, but I want to know. Are you still interested in either of them?"

There! She wanted to know what was on his mind, so he'd say it. He'd been meaning to avoid the subject. She was with him, that should be all that mattered… but he knew next to nothing about her except she was gorgeous, he wanted her, and he didn't want to screw this up.

Blair didn't like being grilled on her thoughts and feelings, especially by someone who knew absolutely nothing about her.

"Matt, I will not ask you about your past relationships or _dalliances_, and I'd rather you not ask me about mine. Just know that I'm here with you, _not_ one of them, and if you want me to continue to be here with you, you're going to have to speak. This is the _getting to know_ you part of the evening. I can't get to know you if you aren't talking," Blair said flippantly.

Matt considered her words for a moment before setting his glass down with a firm thump.

"Check, please," Matt said loudly to a passing waiter.

Blair leaned back in her chair, a wry smirk on her face. "Well, I guess the evening's over then." She wasn't terribly disappointed that he was ending the evening early anyway. She'd rather go home and call Elise and find out if Eric called her.

"No," Matt said, shaking his head, a devilish glint forming in his eye. "The evening has just begun."

"Really," Blair said. She decided she might like the look of that glint in his eye. She had to admit, her interest was piqued.

Matt signed the receipt and quickly handed the bill back to the waiter.

"You want to get to know me? Your wish is my command," Matt said, a wide smile spread across his face as he stood and offered his hand to Blair.

Blair took it and let him pull her out of her seat and they were off.

Blair couldn't help but wonder if Matt was about to redeem himself or fall flat on his face. Either way, it was going to be amusing.

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**Saturday, February 13****th****. 8:30 pm.**

"Where's your sister?" Rufus asked as he flipped through the mail. He'd just arrived home from a Saturday showing and was about to start dinner.

"In her room," Dan said.

"You two aren't fighting again, are you?" Rufus almost whined in frustration.

"Uh, no dad, she's just… had a bad day," Dan looked at his watch. Well, it was probably twenty five hours now, but who was counting?

"Well, maybe this will perk her up," Rufus said, pulling a white envelope off the bottom of the pile. "It wasn't in the mailbox, no postmark. It was lying in front of the loft door, just waiting for someone to find it."

Dan frowned and reached to take it from his father. He recognized the shape of the envelope. He knew it was another card from Jenny's secret_ admirer_. He managed to murmur something to his father as he made his way to Jenny's room.

He knocked briefly before he entered without waiting for a response.

"Dan, can I just die in peace?" Jenny said, moaning. She hadn't moved from her spot under the mounds of sheets and pillows all day long.

"You got another letter," Dan said softly.

Jenny paused and didn't say anything for a long minute. Finally she moved a pillow from her face and looked at him. "Burn it."

"Don't you want to know—" Dan started.

"What it says? No. It's probably just Chuck telling me how much he enjoyed my embarrassment. Maybe he'll even tell me where to find Melissa's silver bracelet and all the other things that I've _supposedly_ stolen," Jenny snapped while trying to hold back tears.

"Well, I want to know. It could be a clue," Dan said before sliding his finger under the flap.

Jenny pulled the pillow back over her face and yelled a muffled scream into the material.

"That's weird," Dan said.

"What?" came the muffled reply.

"It's just the letter 'T' in a circle," Dan said, slightly bewildered.

Jenny didn't say anything for a few moments, then she jumped up and snatched the other letters—her "proof"—off the nightstand. She spread the cards out, opening them. "Give me that," Jenny said, reaching her hand out to Dan impatiently.

Dan gave her the card and went to sit next to her.

"See this?" Jenny said, pointing. "This little letter under the signature is an 'A'. That's what made me first start to think it was Nate. Plus, the rest of the letter sounded like him, what with the whole wanting to avoid a scandal thing. The second card has the letter 'R' under the signature, which made me further believe that it was Nate. The third card didn't arrive until last weekend and I couldn't make out the letter because _someone_ spilled milk on it—"

"Hey, I told you that was an accident," Dan explained quickly.

"But, either way, I couldn't make the letter out but I was sure it was a 'C'… but if the fourth letter is a 'T', it must not have been," Jenny explained. She moaned in frustration.

"So what is Chuck trying to say? I mean, if I'd gotten the correct letter last weekend I might not have thought it was Nate anymore…," though she knew that was a lie. She would have come up with some way to make it appear that Nate was the secret admirer…mainly because she wanted it to be him.

"Ah, I'm so confused. And I don't know what this third letter is, so what's the point in even trying to figure this out. It was a joke, a hoax. Haha, the joke's on me," Jenny said, getting more and more frustrated. She flung herself back. "He got me. He said he would, and he did. Now nobody is going to want to talk to me ever again! Oh, unless its to ask for their stuff back."

"Let me see it," Dan said, reaching for the milk stained card. "Jenny, this doesn't look like a 'C' at all."

"Well, I know, I guess I just hoped it was…" Jenny trailed off before planting a pillow on her head again.

"It looks like an 'R' or maybe an 'A'…." Dan thought for a moment. "That's it. It's an 'A'."

Jenny sat up again, eager to see if Dan really had figured out the puzzle. "But if it's an 'A'…. what's arat? That makes no sense."

"Arat… get it? A _rat_," Dan said with emphasis. "Two words."

"Bah, he went to all the trouble of sending me one more letter just so I'd know why he did this to me? I already know! He's mad because I _rat_ed him out to Nate, duh!" Jenny mumbled. "Didn't take a genius to figure that out."

"When did you get the first letter?" Dan asked. Serena's words were echoing through his head for some reason.

"A couple weeks ago… before the PVD Party, I think," Jenny mumbled.

Dan was silent for a long moment as he flipped through the cards, rereading everything, looking for hidden meaning.

"When did Chuck say something to you?" Dan asked suddenly.

"Uh, Monday," Jenny said.

"Are you sure?" Dan asked.

"Yeah, like I could forget," Jenny said sarcastically.

"But… why would he say anything to you if he'd already started to send the letters? Couldn't that have made you _more_ suspicious? He'd already set this up. It was like he was warning you about it, giving his plans a chance to fall through… that doesn't sound like Chuck," Dan explained.

"But…" Jenny said, thinking about everything. She sat up and started re-reading the cards too. "I got the first card after the first time Gossip Girl posted something about me and Nate. That's why I thought it was him. Nate was on my mind."

"Serena said she didn't think Chuck was able to do this…" Dan said. "I didn't want to say anything because I thought she was defending him, but now…"

"Dan, really, _why_ would Serena defend him?" Jenny said, somewhat disgusted. "She'd have to have a good reason to say that."

"Well, if Chuck didn't do it, then who did?" Dan asked.

"The only other person who might call me a "rat" would be…"

"Blair," they both said her name at the same time.

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_To be continued…_


	26. Chapter 24

**REMINDER! REMINDER! REMINDER!**

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around about **Season 2**. Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

* * *

This story takes place after the events of **A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate**. Concepts from later episodes may be used.

* * *

_**Previously… on Aftershock**_

"Move on. I have," Blair said. She hoped her words would serve their purpose. She just needed him to leave her alone. Maybe the _moving on_ part would help with that too.

Chuck was quiet for a long moment. Humiliation was flowing through him at her words because he really was acting like a fool. But he also felt anger.

"Nate." Chuck finally managed to utter the name. It wasn't a question. He just wanted confirmation. If she had "moved on", that was the only conclusion to reach.

"Matt," Blair said simply, denying the Nate accusation.

"Matt. Matt?" Chuck asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're kidding right?"

"When have I ever been known to kid?" Blair deadpanned.

"You can't possibly…" Chuck started to deny that she could feel anything for that jerk.

"You know what? I don't know," Blair laughed. "And you know what else? It doesn't matter. Because it's _none_ of _your_ business."

- - - - - - -

"Well, in about five minutes you could be interrupting me _murdering Chuck!_" Serena groaned loudly.

"What'd he do?" Dan asked.

"Not only did he get my brother drunk, but he got him plastered. Passed out drunk! Eric's been recovering all morning. He can't keep anything down and he has a lovely gray tinge! He almost got Eric in a fight and he spent all evening dirtying his mind with whore stories! My brother is supposed to be pure and innocent and… and… sweet… and, _ah!_" Serena screamed in frustration.

- - - - - - -

"Matt, I will not ask you about your past relationships or _dalliances_, and I'd rather you not ask me about mine. Just know that I'm here with you, _not_ one of them, and if you want me to continue to be here with you, you're going to have to speak. This is the _getting to know_ you part of the evening. I can't get to know you if you aren't talking," Blair said flippantly.

"Check, please," Matt said loudly to a passing waiter.

Blair leaned back in her chair, a wry smirk on her face. "Well, I guess the evening's over then." She wasn't terribly disappointed that he was ending the evening early anyway.

"You want to get to know me? Your wish is my command," Matt said, a wide smile spread across his face as he stood and offered his hand to Blair.

Blair took it and let him pull her out of her seat and they were off.

Blair couldn't help but wonder if Matt was about to redeem himself or fall flat on his face. Either way, it was going to be amusing.

- - - - - - -

"You don't know Chuck Bass well apparently," Serena said.

"Serena… Chuck is Bart's son. Mom is marrying Bart. Chuck _is_ going to be our brother, whether we like it or not," Eric explained the facts to her. "Who knows? Maybe Chuck will like having a built-in family."

Serena couldn't help it, she started laughing. The idea that Chuck would want a family for anything more than the 'pleasure' he would get out of the sexual innuendos was just too funny for words. Chuck had lived with no restraints and no parents for so long that he would probably scoff at anyone attempting to tell him what to do.

"Well, at least I can still make you laugh," Eric said sardonically. "Seriously, what's so bad about Chuck Bass? He can't be that horrible."

"Little brother, you have _much_ to learn," Serena said with a shake of her head.

- - - - - - -

"When did Chuck say something to you?" Dan asked suddenly.

"Uh, Monday," Jenny said.

"Are you sure?" Dan asked.

"Yeah, like I could forget," Jenny said sarcastically.

"But… why would he say anything to you if he'd already started to send the letters? Couldn't that have made you _more_ suspicious? He'd already set this up. It was like he was warning you about it, giving his plans a chance to fall through… that doesn't sound like Chuck," Dan explained.

"But…" Jenny said, thinking about everything. She sat up and started re-reading the cards too. "I got the first card after the first time Gossip Girl posted something about me and Nate. That's why I thought it was him. Nate was on my mind."

"Serena said she didn't think Chuck was able to do this…" Dan said. "I didn't want to say anything because I thought she was defending him, but now…"

"Dan, really, _why_ would Serena defend him?" Jenny said, somewhat disgusted. "She'd have to have a good reason to say that."

"Well, if Chuck didn't do it, then who did?" Dan asked.

"The only other person who might call me a "rat" would be…"

"Blair," they both said her name at the same time.

- - - - - - -

_And who am? That's a secret I'll never tell._

_You know you love me,_

_XOXO_

_Gossip Girl_

* * *

**Saturday, February 13****th****. 9:00 pm.**

"I don't believe it," Dan murmured. "Well, that's not entirely true," he reiterated.

"Well, she _did_ warn me," Jenny said, still staring down at the cards.

She flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling now.

"She did?" Dan said.

"The day Melissa and Hazel kicked her out of the group," Jenny said. "They did it because she was being mean to me and because they wanted to put her in her place for being such a hypocrite. She said if I walked away from her she would destroy me…"

"Oh," Dan murmured.

Jenny laughed mockingly. "I asked her how she was going to do that. I never did give her a chance to reply. I didn't think she could possibly do anything. She didn't _have_ anything. So… she must have created it…" She sighed.

"Look, Jen," Dan said. "We'll fix this… somehow. I'll talk to Serena. Maybe she can get Blair to admit something. Or, we could just tell Gossip Girl that Blair did it? Maybe she can post the truth for once."

Jenny shook her head, "Don't worry about it, Dan."

"What?" Dan asked, startled.

"Don't bother Serena. I'll handle this," Jenny said thoughtfully.

"How are you going to do that?" Dan asked, perplexed. "You know, if you do what she does, you become her, and I'd hate to see you be another Blair."

"Don't worry, Dan," Jenny murmured. "I won't. This time things will be a little different."

* * *

**Saturday, February 13****th****. 9:00 pm.**

Serena stood in the doorway, staring at her brother as he slept peacefully—finally.

Chuck had shown up earlier, early in the afternoon, and tried to force her to give Eric some sort of weird green drink that was supposed to help with Eric's hangover.

Serena had turned him away in disgust. He had tried telling her she was being an idiot and that Eric was the one who was going to suffer because she was being such a bitch. She retorted that Eric didn't need anything from him, and _she_ would take care of _her _brother just fine.

She also would rather Eric go through the entire miserable process of being hung over without a miracle cure because she didn't want him to think that this was something he should do often. She didn't share her second thought with Chuck though, she just kicked him out of the suite and that was the end of that.

Of course Eric just _had_ to over hear her arguing with Chuck. Eric had tried to tell her that this wasn't Chuck's fault, but Serena couldn't see it any other way.

Eric was just miserable, absolutely miserable, and didn't argue with her after that. He kept moaning at her to just leave him alone, but she couldn't. He was her baby brother. She had to take care of him.

An hour or so later, she was still "mothering" him and jumping at his every movement. And he'd evidentally had enough. He was beginning to feel better, if his words were any indication.

"_Would you quit it?" Eric said, pushing her away as she started fluffing his pillows and tucking his sheets in again._

"_I'm just trying to help…" Serena said, not letting him push her away again as she went back to what she'd been doing before he tried to make her stop._

"_No, Serena, you're not," Eric said._

"_Of course I am," Serena said, slightly indignant. She had actually _cancelled_ her plans to accompany Blair to the doctor's because her brother needed her. She'd done all this for him, there wasn't any other reason for this._

"_Serena, you're mothering me!" Eric said, annoyed._

"_Well, you're sick! And I'm just making sure you get better," Serena insisted._

"_I'm hung over!" Eric exclaimed. "There is a difference. Most siblings would help me into the nearest cold shower and leave me there until I was awake enough to deal with myself. Most siblings would give me some sort of sibling advice for how to make a speedy recovery—like Chuck tried. Most siblings would not spend their entire Saturday's replacing cold cloths on their brother's head, seeing to their every need, and _mothering_ them!"_

"_Chuck is not your sibling, so you do _not_ need to get advice from him," Serena snapped. "I told you that you didn't know Chuck Bass the way I know him. That he was horrible! But you chose not to listen to me. Look what he did! He got you drunk and if I hadn't arrived when I did, you would have gotten into your first brawl as well! Greg was a heart beat away from breaking that bottle on your head!"_

"_So what!" Eric exclaimed. "Stop trying to protect me, Serena! So I tried to kill myself, so what? I tried to do it because I was lonely and didn't matter to anyone. Chuck _invited_ me to his party. Chuck _wants_ to be my friend! And he didn't force me to drink anything, that was all me. Chuck wasn't serving drinks, he had someone else to do that._

"_You keep acting like I'm porcelain, like I'll shatter if one bad thing happens. I'm not and it won't! I just want you to treat me like a normal sibling would. I want you to be happy for me that I've had my first hangover, you know _you've_ had a few—or more! This isn't a bad thing, this is part of growing up and you acting like mom is not helping!"_

_Serena was silent for a long moment before finally whispering, "You matter to me."_

"_I know that, Serena," Eric almost whined. "I know that now. I didn't before. But now I just want to be normal. I don't want you to treat me any differently because of my time at Ostroff. I don't want anyone to!"_

Serena hadn't known what to say after that. He was right. She had been treating him differently. But she didn't know how _not_ to. She ended up just apologizing to him before she left the room.

That was three hours ago. Now it was a little past nine. She'd kept herself occupied with some more of the weirdly confusing to read Canterbury Tales.

She hadn't heard from him at all, not one peep, so she'd decided to check on him. And there he was, sleeping peacefully on his stomach, his arms wrapped around the pillow, bunching it up to make it higher for his head. His blankets were mostly kicked down below his waist. There was some sweat left on his forehead, but he wasn't frowning… he just looked… _angelic_.

She resisted the urge to go fix his covers and wipe the sweat from his brow. It was bad enough that she was checking on him again.

Sighing, she turned back around and went back to the couch, picking up her book for some more _fascinating_ reading.

* * *

**Saturday, February 13****th****. 9:30 pm.**

"Where are we going?" Blair asked, looking out the window.

Matt gave her a sheepish look.

"You tell me," he said.

Blair finally looked at him, arching a brow. "You've got to be kidding." She shook her head. "You make a heroic exit from the restaurant like you've had the most brilliant idea ever, only to make _me_ choose our destination?"

She sighed and turned back to the window. She didn't know why she even bothered with him. He'd talked her into this date only because she wanted to make sure everyone—two guys in particular—understood that she had moved on. She didn't want Nate or Chuck to continue to pursue her. She was using Matt, she admitted it. And she should be showing him a bit more mercy, but at the moment she was just tired.

She'd had a long session with the therapist earlier and it was still stuck in her head. Dr. Sherman just _had_ to point out how angry Blair was at Nate, and the fact that Chuck was important to her.

Deep down, she already knew that Chuck was important to her. She wouldn't have decided to give up on getting back together with Nate and finally choosing to be with Chuck if he wasn't. It had been a little scary. She'd had to purge and listen to Mary J. Blige. She had to go outside and feel the cold air on her face, looking out over the water. If she had looked toward the city, toward all the ties that bound her to the plans for her life she had personally set in stone, she would never have changed her mind. But she'd looked out over the water and decided that she could take a chance. She decided that she could change, just this once.

She decided that she would be with Chuck. She hadn't known what the future would hold for them… but she knew that she couldn't get enough of his kisses and the way he touched her. He had done all these romantic things for her—the entire week of Valentine's. He wanted to spend time with her. He appreciated her. He wanted to protect her by not having sex—_Chuck Bass not having sex_?—until she got on birth control.

And it had all been a lie.

From the minute that conscious thoughts started swimming through her head after Nate's revelation, she knew she'd been played.

Chuck had only done all those things because of guilt. He thought that she knew what he'd done… and when he found out that she didn't know, he chose to pay her off with presents and attention as a way to make up for what he'd done.

It was like in the movies when a guy cheated on his wife. He started buying flowers for her and doing things around the house that she asked him to do just to avoid telling her the truth, to help cushion the blow.

But it doesn't make the blow less painful. When the wife finally finds out, she's not thinking about roses and clean garages. She's thinking about the betrayal. She just wants to kick him out. She never wants to see him again because it hurt too much to see him. Seeing him meant seeing what he did over and over again. The wife would have to live with the husband's actions every day.

And that's how it was with Chuck. He'd done all these things to cushion the blow… but it still hurt when she learned the truth. He betrayed her in such a way that she would have to live with what he did every day of her high school life. She was trying so hard to rebuild everything, but nothing was ever going to be the same. She was never going to shine quite as bright as she had before. People were still going to laugh about it behind her back even if she regained her former status.

And the thing that hurt the most was that she'd given him so much of herself. She'd given her virginity, she'd given her reputation, and… she hadn't lied to Serena… she had given him… at least _part_ of her heart… that's all she would admit to.

And he'd lied to her.

No matter how much she may want to forgive him, it didn't change the fact that _he_ couldn't change. He'd manipulated things to his advantage at her disgrace _twice_. She wasn't going to be played a fool again.

Not by any guy.

Not even Nate.

Yes, the psychiatrist had been completely correct. Blair _was_ still angry at Nate. She'd just grown accustomed to pushing aside any feelings of anger that she had toward him for so long that it was second nature to do it now and try to make amends.

"Well, what do you know already?"

"Hmm?" Blair asked, startled, as she realized she was still in the limo with Matt.

"You mentioned that part of _dating_ was to get to _know_ one another better," Matt said with a shrug. "Tell me what you know about me and we can go from there."

Blair looked down at her lap and tried to think, but at first all she saw were her fingers clamped together. She needed to calm down. She needed to stop thinking about how much Chuck and Nate had hurt her. This was the whole reason she was going out with Matt, to forget the other two. She needed to stop acting like a bitch (even though she was), stop acting like she'd had the day from hell (even though she had), and try to make nice with this idiot boy (though he did have a point).

"You can dance," Blair finally said, allowing for a hint of a smile that she didn't really feel.

Matt, relieved that she was actually responding and not acting standoffish again, nodded, "Clubs and parties," he shrugged. "Lots of practice."

Blair nodded, her smile dimming somewhat. She'd already assumed that… and now they were back to square one. This was just getting more and more boring. She was losing hope of keeping up this pretense. Then what would she do to make Nate and Chuck leave her alone?

Matt looked at her for a long second before giving a sheepish look again, "And my mother might have forced me to take dance lessons…"

"She what?" Blair couldn't contain her surprise. "You mean, like cotillion dancing? _Every_one had to do that." Blair pushed away a thought that popped in her head about her own Cotillion rehearsing.

"Uh," Matt cleared his throat. "No, but if you tell anyone I will deny it."

"What?" Blair said, finally giving more than a hint of a smile.

"Tap," Matt muttered, looking away.

Blair let out a surprised laugh. "Excuse me, but your dancing definitely does _not_ look like tap dancing."

"I know, I stopped after like a year," Matt said.

"Why?" Blair said, laughter still in her voice.

"Well… my parents split and dad got full custody and didn't force me to go anymore," Matt said, forcing a smile and a shrug.

"Oh, sorry…" Blair said, trailing off uncomfortably.

There was a moment of awkward silence before she finally decided to show him a little mercy.

"So, if you only danced for a year when you were… how old?" Blair said.

"Nine," Matt said.

"How is it that you're so good now?" Blair asked.

"I…" Matt shifted, unable to believe he was being this open with her… but she wasn't running away and she wasn't bitching at him anymore, so maybe he was doing something right. "I didn't get to see my mom much after that… but I started checking out some other dance stuff on my own, like movies. Center Stage, Step Up, Salsa," he listed before shrugging. "I don't know why, but they made me think of her so…" He looked anywhere but at her for a second. "Anyway, I just watched them and mimic their stuff when I'm out."

"Wow," Blair said, trying to be encouraging as she smoothed over her surprise that he was being this open with her _and_ the fact that she thought he was extremely uncomfortable talking about this. Neither Nate nor Chuck had ever been this open with her…

_Stop that!_ Blair reprimanded herself. She needed to stop thinking about them!

"S_o_, what else… well, you're on the water polo team," Blair pointed out knowingly.

Matt was relieved that she changed the topic. "Of course," he said, switching back to his normal cocky self. This was a topic he was much more comfortable with. He still couldn't believe he'd said anything about his mother. He was just going to steer clear of any mention of his _father_. _That_ wouldn't be a good idea.

"So… why water polo?" Blair asked. She didn't really know anything about the sport. Apparently it was catching on in the states… and it was growing more popular in private schools… but Blair wasn't much of a sports person in general… besides watching the occasional track meet or lacrosse game while Nate played.

"Well, see," Matt grinned. "I'm a driver."

"Okay?" Blair asked, not following.

"We're the fastest swimmers and we play both offense and defense," he explained. "We have to have above average hand-eye coordination or something," he said, speeling something one of the coaches told him once. "It can get pretty intense out there. It's like a cross between basketball and soccer… we don't use our legs to kick, but we're in the pool so we have to be strong enough to move against the water."

Blair nodded her head like she had some idea of what he was talking about; she really had no clue, "Can't say that I've ever played before."

"Well, you wouldn't be an ideal candidate," he said.

"Excuse me?" she said, feigning offense.

He reached toward her hand, "May I?" She had sat on his lap and played with his hair last night, but she'd been pretty quick to stop the touchy-feely after that… and she _had_ warned him about taking liberties with her. So, he figured he'd ask.

She nodded wondering what he was about to do.

He took her hand with his and used his other hand to flatten hers, palm up. He traced her palm in a circle. "While your hands are cute and smooth…" He looked up and grinned, "They're definitely too small."

She snatched her hand back.

"See, we can only hold the ball with one hand," Matt explained, still grinning at her as he held up his own hand, palm up—it was definitely bigger than hers by a mile, "Two hands on a ball is a foul… and you will definitely not be able to catch or throw with only _one_ of those," he finished, pointing at her hand.

"We'll have to see about that," Blair said, laughing.

"Well, we _could_ go to the pool at school and I could show you how it's played…" he began, a little suggestively.

"Except I was almost expelled with half the junior class for sneaking into that very pool!" Blair said, rolling her eyes. "Be real, Matt. I'm _not_ doing that again."

"Your loss," he shrugged. He could have snuck her in. They'd definitely be less likely to have a problem if it was just the two of them, and it would be a perfect opportunity to get Blair alone… in a pool… with a bathing suit… or maybe without…?

He snapped back to attention. It wasn't going to happen so he needed to stop thinking about it.

"So, dancing, water polo…" Blair said, raising her eyes heavenward as she pretended she wasn't listening to him. "What else do I already know about you…"

The minute her eyes widened and she exclaimed, "I know!" He knew exactly what she was going to say next. He tried to hide the wince.

"Your dad! He's Nick Cunningham!" Blair said.

Matt didn't respond, but Blair didn't notice, she just kept on going.

"Everyone loves that man. He's into everything. Music, Movies, Television," Blair gushed. "The people he's worked with... doesn't he have something with Jay Z coming up?"

"There isn't a thing that man touches that doesn't become pure gold," Blair said. "What's it like having _him_ for a father?"

Matt cleared his throat as Blair finally finished talking long enough for him to realize a reply was required. "Probably nothing like you'd expect."

"And to think that he started out marketing for big business before getting into the entertainment industry," Blair said. "That's what I want to study—marketing at Yale."

"Is that so…" Matt interjected, staring straight ahead, hoping she'd stop talking about it soon.

"You know, I haven't seen him at any of the past few society events," Blair said. "How _is_ he doing? Is he still seeing Jill Wilbury? Wasn't he in L.A. last I heard? How often—"

"That's enough," Matt finally snapped.

Blair paused, mid-word, and stared idly at him.

What was his problem? They'd actually been talking and she was starting to enjoy their little talk even though they were _still_ in the limo driving around. Did he just yell at her?

"Excuse me?" Blair said, completely reverting back to her earlier barely masked disdain.

Matt bit his lip and shook his head, "Sorry."

Blair decided she'd had enough of this for one evening, "Take me home."

Matt sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Look—"

"I said, take me home," Blair said in her most commanding tone possible.

"Fine," Matt said, exasperated with himself and her and the entire situation. He instructed his driver before sitting back in his seat in a pissy-stupor.

Blair returned to looking out the window. She didn't care that she was using him; he wasn't going to speak to her like that. She did _not_ need that crap.

Silence reigned in the vehicle until the car finally pulled up out front of her building.

She picked up her bag and reached for the door.

"Wait," he said, reaching out quickly to stop her, taking hold of her arm.

"I don't think we have anything else to say," Blair said, not even looking at him. "Let go of me."

"At least let me walk you in," Matt said.

"No," she said, finally turning to make eye contact with him. "The evening is over, and so is the 'getting to know you' part. Thanks for dinner. Don't call me." She turned to reach for the door handle again.

"I hate my dad," Matt blurted.

Blair paused and turned back raising an eyebrow… she seemed to be raising her brows a lot tonight.

"I didn't mean to…" Matt trailed off. "I just hate him and really don't like talking about him."

Blair gave a slow nod.

"I really want you to keep… er, getting to know me?" Matt said, turning on his grin again, hoping to persuade her. "How's Tuesday?"

Blair sighed. She wanted to turn him down, but even she couldn't fault him for not wanting to talk about his father whom he obviously disliked. She could relate. She didn't go around talking about Eleanor Waldorf if she could help it… of course, no guy she'd ever met had raved about her mother's clothing line.

"And what's going to be so different about tonight and Tuesday?" she said.

"Well, it's probably not anything you've ever done before…" he said, "but I love it… and _you_ were the one who said you wanted to get to know me, so… you have been warned."

"So I'm allowed to participate in _this_ activity?" Blair said, softening as she teased him a little.

"All you want," he agreed.

"Good night, Matt," Blair said as she grabbed the door handle and pushed the door open, deliberately not answering him.

Matt sighed. He'd lost his bid to fix this little problem. He was pissed at himself, but it _was_ completely his fault.

She got out of the car and shut the door briskly.

He watched her through the window as she walked into her building. He'd really managed to mess this up. Figures that he started to make her laugh and he _knew_ she was enjoying herself before ruining everything because of his father.

His father… the former "golden" boy—the guy who could do no wrong, the guy who's shadow Matt had to live in. The guy who reminded Matt frequently that he never did anything right, the guy who had a temper that he'd always managed to conceal from the public.

The former "golden" boy… yeah, that's exactly why he didn't like Nate Archibald. Matt tried so hard to be like Nate for his father, but nothing he did was ever good enough. Matt had started to see Nate as his rival in all things… At first, it was easier to ignore Nate because he didn't see him that often. He didn't have to pretend to like him. But then Nate started hanging with some of Matt's friends and Matt could no longer ignore him… plus, Matt had just developed some major jonesing for Blair Waldorf at his PVD Party. Matt thought he'd finally gotten Nate's girl and that, at least, would help him on his way to surpass the current golden boy… But he'd managed to screw that up.

He felt his pocket vibrate and took out his cell phone.

Or maybe he hadn't screwed up as badly as he thought.

**Tuesday. See you then.**

He grinned.

* * *

**Saturday, February 13****th****. 10:30 pm.**

She had just started to wonder how Blair's date with Matt was going when she heard a knock at the suite door.

Puzzled, Serena climbed to her feet and went to answer it.

"What are _you_ doing here?" she asked, surprised and more than a little ticked.

"He rang," Chuck said with a smirk and a nod to some point behind her.

Serena spun around and saw that Eric was actually up and standing in the doorway. He was still in the pajamas Serena had forced him into after he got puke all over his clothes, so Serena knew that Eric wasn't planning on going anywhere.

"Eric!" Serena exclaimed, "What are you doing up?"

"It's alright, Serena," Eric said, forcing a smile. "I'm fine. Chuck?" Eric said, tilting his head toward his room.

"Later, Sis," Chuck said amusingly as he made his way past Serena and followed Eric.

"But… but…" Serena tried to figure out what she was supposed to do here. Eric wasn't supposed to hang out with Chuck… but that wasn't entirely true… that's just what she wanted.

And she, in truth, had no say in the matter.

She walked briskly to grab her stupid book about stupid tales and stomped off to her room, slamming the door shut and flopping on her bed.

Chuck made his way past Eric and entered the room. Eric watched his sister slam her door with a weird smile on his face before joining Chuck and closing his door softly.

"She sure is feisty," Chuck said, smirking still as he settled into a comfortable over stuffed chair on the right side of the room. "What's gotten into her?" As if he couldn't guess. She _had_ slammed the door in his face earlier.

"Normalcy," Eric said with a smile. He hadn't seen Serena get that pissed in a long time. She was actually upset and _showing_ him that she was upset. He couldn't be more pleased.

"Wouldn't be my first choice," Chuck replied, though he figured he was missing some sort of context. He didn't really care though.

"So, what can I do for you?" Chuck continued, wondering why Eric had invited him over this late. The boy was lucky. Chuck hadn't looked at another girl in the past week and actually trying to get one in the sack tonight was no where near his intent. Getting Blair back was sort of his top priority at the moment.

"Uh, just wanted to say that no matter what Serena said, last night was all me and I don't blame you at all. And I wanted to apologize for her acting like that earlier," Eric said in a rush. He flopped into the other overstuffed chair that was on the left side of the room, facing Chuck.

"Is that all?" Chuck asked, mildly amused.

"Yes, yes it is," Eric stammered.

"I've known Serena a long time," Chuck said, shaking his head in his amusement. "That wasn't the first time she's been a bitch, and it won't be the last. Don't let it get to you."

"Oh," Eric said with a blank expression.

"As to the rest," Chuck shrugged. "You're right. That was all you." Though he'd been watching everything Eric was drinking and knew he'd have a hell of a hangover the next day. He'd been about to cut Eric off when Greg said something derogatory about Serena. Most of the guys, him self included, wouldn't have cared and either laughed it off or just ignored it. But most of the guys were not Eric van der Woodsen, brother of the female in question, and he'd taken exception to Greg disrespecting his sister.

Chuck could have told Greg that you didn't mess with a guys' sister, no matter what his age or how drunk he was, but he wasn't in the mood to be helpful. He was going to break up the fight before it escaladed to the point of an emergency room visit and stitches—he'd had to go through it before and it was not fun—due to an imported beer bottle to the head, when Serena showed up and diffused the situation quite nicely.

"Does she know?" he asked.

"Does who know what?" Eric asked, confused.

"Serena. Does she know you were defending her… _honor_?" Chuck asked, trying to hold back a laugh.

"Uh, no," Eric said, flushing slightly because it seemed as though Chuck was laughing at him.

"Probably for the best," Chuck laughed. He saw the flush on Eric's face and knew the kid was getting flustered again. Eric had been that way last night in the beginning too, like he was really unsure about himself and what he was doing. He'd thought Eric had learned how to loosen up, especially around him.

Chuck almost sighed. He had a lot of work to do. No brother of his was going to be a regular fuddy-duddy. Eric van der Woodsen was going to make a name for himself just like his sister and brother had. Chuck would see to it himself.

But before the "renovation" could begin, Chuck's cell phone beeped.

Wondering who on earth was bothering him _now_, because most people really did know better than to try to get a hold of Chuck this late on a Saturday night, he slipped his phone out of his pocket and saw that it was a new Gossip Girl post.

**Spotted: MC depositing B at her home before midnight in a white limo to rival C's. B seemed to be in good spirits. First a dance, now dinner, what's next B? Is MC's coronation impending? Don't keep us in too much suspense. Until the deets arrive, sleep tight my little kiddies. You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl.**

He glared at his phone before covering up his expression and trying to get back into the conversation with Eric.

"What?" Eric asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing," Chuck shrugged. "So what—"

"No, it's not nothing," Eric said. "You got all quiet, what gives?"

"Eric, my dear little _brother_, you have a lot to learn," Chuck said, patronizing him. "Starting with, I _always_ mean what I say."

Eric shrugged and grew silent, looking around the room pensively.

Chuck slipped his phone back into his pocket and forced himself to relax in the chair again.

Eric finally made eye contact with Chuck. "You can go now."

"What?" Chuck said, giving a small laugh.

"I said what I wanted to, you're good to go," Eric explained, standing and going around the bed to his door, gesturing for Chuck to stand up.

Chuck shrugged and got to his feet.

"Except…" Eric started, trailing off before he said more.

Chuck looked at him expectantly.

"Why'd you come in the first place?" Eric asked.

"You asked me to," Chuck said simply.

"Yeah, but why?" Eric asked again.

"We're going to be brothers," Chuck shrugged. "Might as well start acting like it."

"See… that's what I thought too," Eric deadpanned right before he opened his door and gestured for Chuck to leave. "Good night, _Charles_."

Chuck stared at Eric, a little shocked when he realized that this van der Woodsen was definitely someone worthy of his time.

Even Nate would have let it go when something was bothering Chuck and he didn't want to talk about it…if Nate actually realized that something was bothering Chuck to begin with. But… Chuck _didn't_ talk about things that bothered him… _ever_. Nobody ever cared enough to listen, plus Chuck always felt as though it made him too vulnerable, or some such crap.

The most he'd ever opened up was when he admitted to Blair that he had butterflies and when he and Blair had made up.

And now Eric van der Woodsen was not only asking him to open up to him—something he'd never done with another male in his life, Eric was also letting him know that he _wanted_ to listen. Eric _wanted_ Chuck to talk to him about whatever was bothering him… because _Eric_ wanted to be Chuck's brother, even though Serena didn't want to be his sister.

But Eric was also telling him, without saying the words, that the offer of brother-dom was about to go out the door along with Chuck _if_ he left…

Chuck hesitated, unsure about whether to stay or go.

"Serena came back because I tried to kill myself," Eric finally said, serious. "It was me spending time at Ostroff, not her." He figured Chuck would remember when Blair humiliated Serena in front of the entire junior class, their parents, and the Ivy League reps.

Chuck looked at him, understanding what the boy was doing, and just like that, he decided to stay.

He went back over to the chair he'd just vacated.

"Blair went out with Matt Cunningham tonight," Chuck said as he sat down. "That was a post from Gossip Girl."

Eric closed the door.

"Oh."

* * *

_To be continued…_


	27. Chapter 25

_This chapter is dedicated to Mia, because she will always be my little bits. :)_

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* * *

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REMINDER! REMINDER! REMINDER!

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around for upcoming episodes. Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

* * *

This story takes place after the events of **A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate**. Concepts from later episodes may be used.

* * *

_**Previously… on Aftershock**_

"I… I… thank you?" Blair finally said.

Nate looked confused. Why was she thanking him?

"That you could forgive me… it's… that's big," Blair said.

"I just think we shouldn't rush back together," she finally breathed out. She also wasn't going to start hanging with him at this gala. She was here with Matt. If she started going around with Nate in the middle of all this, everyone was going to talk about her again.

"So, what?" Nate asked, perplexed. "You're just going to be with Matt now?" He didn't like that idea one bit.

Blair shook her head, amused. "I needed a date. Matt's just… a friend, I guess."

"We'll work this out," Nate said firmly.

"Maybe," Blair responded. "But not tonight," she said pointedly.

Nate nodded. It was the hardest thing in the world to let her go, but he'd said his piece. He didn't know what tomorrow or next week would hold, but at least the air was clear. She _had_ to still love him, even if she hadn't said it tonight. She knew he was willing to forgive her and try again. That was all that mattered at this point.

- + - + -

"Nothing," Chuck shrugged. "So what—"

"No, it's not nothing," Eric said. "You got all quiet, what gives?"

"Eric, my dear little _brother_, you have a lot to learn," Chuck said, patronizing him. "Starting with, I _always_ mean what I say."

Eric finally made eye contact with Chuck. "You can go now."

"What?" Chuck said, giving a small laugh.

"I said what I wanted to, you're good to go," Eric explained, standing and going around the bed to his door, gesturing for Chuck to stand up.

Chuck shrugged and got to his feet.

"Except…" Eric started, trailing off before he said more. "Why'd you come in the first place?"

"You asked me to," Chuck said simply.

"Yeah, but why?" Eric asked again.

"We're going to be brothers," Chuck shrugged. "Might as well start acting like it."

"See… that's what I thought too," Eric deadpanned right before he opened his door and gestured for Chuck to leave. "Good night, _Charles_."

Chuck stared at Eric, a little shocked when he realized that this van der Woodsen was definitely someone worthy of his time.

Even Nate would have let it go when something was bothering Chuck and he didn't want to talk about it…if Nate actually realized that something was bothering Chuck to begin with. But… Chuck _didn't_ talk about things that bothered him… _ever_. Nobody ever cared enough to listen, plus Chuck always felt as though it made him too vulnerable, or some such crap.

The most he'd ever opened up was when he admitted to Blair that he had butterflies and when he and Blair had made up.

And now Eric van der Woodsen was not only asking him to open up to him—something he'd never done with another male in his life, Eric was also letting him know that he _wanted_ to listen. Eric _wanted_ Chuck to talk to him about whatever was bothering him… because _Eric_ wanted to be Chuck's brother, even though Serena didn't want to be his sister.

But Eric was also telling him, without saying the words, that the offer of brother-dom was about to go out the door along with Chuck _if_ he left…

Chuck hesitated, unsure about whether to stay or go.

"Serena came back because I tried to kill myself," Eric finally said, serious. "It was me spending time at Ostroff, not her." He figured Chuck would remember when Blair humiliated Serena in front of the entire junior class, their parents, and the Ivy League reps.

Chuck looked at him, understanding what the boy was doing, and just like that, he decided to stay.

He went back over to the chair he'd just vacated.

"Blair went out with Matt Cunningham tonight," Chuck said as he sat down. "That was a post from Gossip Girl."

Eric closed the door.

"Oh."

- + - + -

**You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl.**

* * *

**Saturday, February 16****th****. Around 11pm.**

"Yeah, _oh_," he muttered.

"Well, uh," Eric shrugged. "… Blair, huh?" He knew all about what had happened with the whole Nate and Blair and Chuck thing, thanks to Gossip Girl, of course. And he knew other parts from Serena, but it wasn't something he'd paid too much attention to.

Chuck shifted in his chair, feeling all of a sudden _very_ uncomfortable. He didn't know what he was supposed to say, and he didn't like not knowing.

"It was just a date," Eric volunteered, though in truth, when it came to girls, he was very much in the dark. "Besides, aren't you two… not speaking, or something?"

Chuck just shrugged, for lack of better emotion or words.

"So you… like her," Eric finally stated the obvious.

"You could say that," he mumbled. Then he decided to shift the attention. "So, Ostroff, huh?" he said, mimicking Eric's earlier words.

"I was depressed," Eric explained with a shrug.

They both seemed to be doing a lot of shrugging.

"Self pity party," Chuck volunteered his definition of the word depression.

"With the scars to prove it," Eric said.

Inadvertently, Chuck looked toward Eric's wrists that were covered by the sleeves of his pajama top.

"Yeah," Eric held up an arm, tugging the sleeve down. "They're there."

"Not a fan of finishing what you started?" Chuck asked.

Eric laughed. He couldn't help it. This was the first time anyone who knew about his suicide attempt hadn't responded by asking why he'd done it.

"Aren't you going to ask me why?" he asked.

Chuck shrugged. "Will it change anything if I did?"

"No, I guess not," Eric said with a smile.

Chuck smirked. "Then why ask?"

Eric was silent for a moment, looking at the guy who would be his brother.

"Do you love her?" he finally asked.

Chuck looked away and scoffed, "What?"

"Blair. Do you love her?" Eric asked again.

Chuck didn't answer, just looked back at him with a hard stare. He wasn't about to admit anything out loud. He wasn't even really sure what love _was_, but if what he'd been feeling was any indication… then he probably did.

"You know," Eric said, reading the answer on his face even if Chuck wouldn't confirm it. "If you love someone, sometimes you gotta let them go."

Chuck snickered. As if he was going to give up on Blair. He only had to figure out a way to fix the mess he'd made of things—and possibly give Cunningham a black eye or two in the process.

"Let them figure things out on their own," Eric continued with his explanation even though Chuck was laughing at his words.

"I always finish what I start," Chuck said firmly, referring to his earlier words.

Eric raised an eyebrow. "But if I _had_ finished it, where would that leave everyone now?"

"The two are hardly the same," Chuck remarked.

"Isn't it?" he asked. "If I had died, where would my mom, or Serena, be now? If you keep letting these posts from Gossip Girl get to you, what? Are you going to keep going after her? What's that make you? And will it ultimately _change_ anything?"

Chuck looked perplexed.

"Blair is stubborn," Eric explained. "If she wants to do something, she's going to do it. No one can stop her. And if you keep trying to make her change her mind, she's just going to distance herself as much as possible _from_ you."

The kid had a point.

"If you let her go, figure out what she really wants, who knows?" Eric shrugged. "Maybe she'll realize _you're_ what's best for her?"

"And if she doesn't?" Chuck couldn't believe he was actually considering Eric's words. What was he supposed to do if he let Blair figure things out on her own? Sit back and watch her date some other guy? He'd done it for too long already, it'd kill him to keep letting that happen.

"Then move on," Eric said. "No use killing yourself over your self pity party."

Chuck jerked his head up and stared at Eric, fully comprehending everything he hadn't realized before.

His very own self pity party.

He was acting like a whipped puppy, following Blair around like a little boy lost. He was _Chuck Bass_; he had more dignity than that.

Even Blair had called him pathetic that morning for following her around. That wasn't him at all.

"So, brother," he said. "How'd you get to be so wise?"

Eric smirked, remembering when Serena had said something similar to him about being 'smarter' not so long ago.

"I'm an old soul," he shrugged.

Chuck laughed.

"And since we're on the subject…" Eric started, a little uncertain again. "Elise."

"Ah, the little freshman?" Chuck asked. "Did you bag that yet?"

"Uh, _no_," Eric said derisively.

"What are you waiting for?"

"I'm supposed to call her," Eric said timidly.

Chuck sighed, exasperated. "Do you want to _date_ her or _bang_ her?"

Eric started feeling a little flushed. "Uh, I, uh…"

Chuck smirked. "Little brother, old soul that you may be, you still have a lot to learn."

"I was thinking I'd just start with a phone call," Eric stuttered.

"Three days," Chuck said.

"What?" Eric asked, confused.

"That's the rule," Chuck shrugged; he'd never done the proper courtship thing that Eric seemed to want to do. "Wait three days since the last time you saw her, then call. Leaves her wanting more."

"But that's Monday," Eric said. "What if I see her at school before I get the chance to call? That'll be awkward."

"Control, Eric," Chuck explained. "You need to call the shots. She _told_ you to call her. And you will, but when _you_ want to."

"I _want_ to call her tomorrow," Eric said.

Chuck shook his head. "When advice is given, usually one should take it."

Eric was reluctant to agree. He understood what Chuck was saying, but still… he felt bad about making her wait. "You don't understand, she's great and funny and… why would I want to play games with her?"

"For the end game," Chuck explained.

"Which is?" Eric asked, confused again.

"_Banging_ her," Chuck said simply.

"Not everything is about sex," Eric said, rolling his eyes, somewhat horrified by Chuck's view of the situation.

"Keep telling yourself that," Chuck deadpanned, "and you'll never get laid." Then he looked at Eric a little more closely, wondering if _that_ was Eric's end game… to _not_ get laid… but the boy was already flustered enough. He'd save that conversation for another time…

Eric blushed. "Is it that obvious?"

Chuck laughed. "That you've never been with a woman?" Of course it was obvious to him. His best friend had been the same way for years. He knew a virgin when he saw one.

"Okay, _stop_," Eric looked around, anywhere but at Chuck.

Chuck just smirked.

* * *

"So how was dinner?"

"It was… okay," Blair finally decided that was the best way to explain it.

"Just _okay_?" Serena asked. "Well, what'd you do?"

"_Eat_," Blair said unhelpfully. She'd eaten as small a portion as she could get away with and not have Matt notice. Of course Matt was so nervous, stumbling over his words, he probably wouldn't have noticed if she hadn't eaten anything. She had succeeded in not making herself full at least. That was a good thing.

She knew she needed to stop purging, and she was going to make a conscientious effort to _not_ do that. So, she would need to cut back on her food intake, otherwise everything was bound to go straight to her hips and stomach.

"Well that sounds… _okay_," Serena laughed. "What did you talk about?"

"Stuff," Blair shrugged. She couldn't really remember what was said during dinner. It was the 'stuff' in the limo that she remembered most clearly.

"Come on, B," Serena urged. "Details please. I mean, do you even _like_ him? Was he interesting? Do you have anything in common at _all_?" Though she highly doubted they did, she figured she'd ask. She still didn't like the idea of Blair dating someone else so soon after the mess that had been her previous relationships—one of those ending two days before. Blair needed some _alone_ time to get her head on straight and stop throwing up everything she ate.

"Actually… we sort of do," Blair finally gave a small detail.

"And…?" Serena was surprised.

"He hates his father," Blair said.

"So does everyone else in the Upper East Side!" Serena exclaimed. Hell, _she_ didn't like her own father very much either. But wait… Blair didn't hate her father... Serena was confused.

"Yeah, but it's different…" Blair searched for words to explain. "It's like how I feel about my mother."

"Oh…" Serena trailed off. She didn't have anything nice to say about Eleanor Waldorf usually. She was civil to the woman, but after the modeling incident, she was _very_ wary.

"So, his hating his father is what you _like_ about him?" Serena asked, bewildered. "That hardly seems like an endearing trait."

"Look," Blair snapped. "I just said we have something in common. I didn't say anything else."

"Like whether you actually _like_ him or not," Serena prodded.

"Well, we're getting together after school on Tuesday…" Blair said. "What does that tell you?" She didn't want to tell Serena about using Matt. She just _knew_ Serena would have a problem with that.

"That you probably should have just gone to the dance with Dan and me and forgotten about this other guy," Serena said.

"S, you _know_ I needed a date for the dance," Blair insisted.

"But you didn't have to keep on _dating_ him," Serena said, frustrated. "Just tell him you had fun and that was that. You do _not_ need to be seeing another guy right now."

"Serena, it's _just_ two dates," Blair defended.

"That's how it starts," Serena exclaimed. "Pretty soon you'll be planning your wedding and your kids and getting so involved you won't focus on anything else—including your health!"

"If you cared so much about it, you would have gone with me today," Blair snapped, disgusted. She wasn't going to start dreaming about all those things with _Matt. Ew._ And she didn't really want to talk about her 'health' issues with Serena… though she had been a little peeved that Serena couldn't join her today.

"Blair, that's not fair," Serena said softly. She should have known Blair would start going on the defensive if she kept arguing this point too much. "You know I had to take care of Eric."

Blair sighed. "I know… speaking of Eric, when is he going to call Elise?"

"Uh, I don't know? Whenever he feels well enough and it's daylight?" Serena shrugged then frowned. "Or whenever a certain pig leaves so he can get some peace and quiet?"

"Chuck's there?" Blair asked, startled. It was a Saturday night; didn't he have anything better to do than hang out with Eric? Though she was slightly relieved to know he wasn't out whoring around.

_No, Blair!_ she snapped at herself. She couldn't be jealous if he was up to his old tricks. _She_ broke up with him. _She_ didn't care about him. _She_ didn't want anything to do with him. He could sleep with whoever the hell he wanted to sleep with, just as long as he left her _alone_!

"Been here for a while now," Serena sighed. "Eric called him. I have no idea _why_, but they disappeared into his room and I haven't seen them since."

"Probably filling his head with crap," Blair complained. "And Elise has been waiting for him to call. I just got off the phone with her."

"Wait…" Serena shifted uncomfortably. "You called her after your date?"

"Well, yeah, she wanted to know the details too," Blair shrugged. She'd been a little more forthcoming with Elise than she'd been with Serena actually… she'd told Elise all about the water polo and the dancing, though she'd sworn her to secrecy.

"Oh, well, I just thought you would have called me first…" Serena trailed off, wincing because that sounded like she was a little jealous.

"I'm calling you now, S," Blair said. "Besides, I wanted to know if Eric had called her, _which_ he hadn't." She had told Elise that Eric was sick today, so he might not call until later, or even until tomorrow. Elise had sounded a little disappointed at that, but she understood. And why did it bother Serena who she called first?

"Am _I_ my brother's keeper?" Serena asked, slightly offended that Blair was indicating that _she_ should help this thing with Eric and Elise along.

"Yes, apparently, since you stayed home all day just to mother him," Blair pointed out.

Serena gritted her teeth. Great, not only was Eric complaining about her mothering him, Blair had noticed too. It was definitely a sore point with her, and she really should change the conversation before she started another argument with Blair.

"Want to go shopping tomorrow?" Serena finally said after counting to ten. "You can tell me about your appointment. I'll bring Tiffany too, for after?"

"I can't tomorrow," Blair said. "I made plans with Elise." Elise was really nervous about her appearance now that she was talking to a _guy_ and she was freaking out. Blair had promised to take her shopping for some sexy but not too-provocative outfits.

Serena flinched. What was going on? Since when did Elise and Blair get so close? She knew something was a little weird when Blair had asked Elise to stay when she was so upset over learning the truth about Chuck, but she never once thought that she'd end up in the position of being the one on the outside… Blair was _her_ best friend… not Elise's.

"Really? Maybe I can join you…" Serena trailed off. She probably should have waited to be invited, but this was Blair, she could say anything she wanted to her.

"Sorry, S," Blair said. "I promised her it would just be the two of us." And Elise had specifically asked that she didn't invite Serena along because she felt really awkward seeing as how she was shopping for outfits to entice Serena's _brother_.

"Oh, okay," Serena said quickly, hurt. "I just remembered; I have to meet Dan anyway." She was lying of course, but it was better than admitting that she would be alone and bored tomorrow without being able to spend time with her best friend. She would just have to call Dan and see if he was free… hopefully he was.

"Then it all works out," Blair replied gaily. "Tell Cabbage Patch I said 'hey.'"

"His name is Dan," Serena said firmly. Why Blair kept calling Dan everything but his actual name was beyond her.

"Really? He should definitely get that changed," Blair laughed.

"I'll be sure and tell him you think so," Serena said sarcastically.

"I gotta go, S," Blair said when she heard a beep on the line. Elise was calling again.

"Wait, you didn't finish telling me about Matt and what you two are going to do Tuesday!" Serena said, speaking in a mad rush, anything to keep Blair on the line a little longer. She was feeling slightly bereft after Eric put her in her place, and now Blair was abandoning her for a new freshman friend? She didn't like this at all.

"I don't know what we're doing," Blair said hastily. "It's a surprise or something. I really have to go now. Talk to you later, S!"

"B, wait…" Serena tried to stop her, but it was too late. Blair had already hung up.

Serena glared at her phone.

She did _not_ like this turn in events.

* * *

**Sunday, February 17****th****. Around noon.**

"Well, well, well," Melissa said haughtily. "Look what the cat dragged in."

"Hi guys…" Jenny said softly, looking around Melissa's bedroom at the occupants. Only Isabel and Kati were there. She was pleased that she wouldn't have to deal with Hazel just yet.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Kati sniffed the air as if she were breathing in something foul.

"Well, you guys _are_ my friends and I thought we could…" Jenny trailed off when she saw the angry looks flashed her way, "talk."

"About how you betrayed our trust?" Kati asked sardonically.

"That's the thing, I didn't," Jenny insisted. "I didn't take anything from you guys. It was Blair; I figured it all out. She was trying to get me back for when I told Nate about her and Chuck. I didn't steal anything from anyone. I wouldn't have done something like that."

"Convenient," Isabel huffed. "Blame Blair."

"You guys hate Blair, too," Jenny said, perplexed. "After everything… how could you believe her over me?" These girls were _supposed_ to be her friends. If they didn't believe her, what had she been doing spending time with them this past month?

"We don't hate Blair," Kati said, confused. "Why would we hate her?"

Isabel nodded.

Melissa nodded too, though she was looking uncertainly at the other girls.

She hated that Matt was seeing Blair. She'd cried herself to sleep after reading the post from Gossip Girl the night before. But she was going to stand here and agree with Kati and Is because… Kati and Is were two of her best friends. If she didn't agree with them, would they turn on her too?

She knew that Blair was making her way back up to the top. And she knew that Hazel blamed her partly for that. She was in a bad position now. Kati and Is seemed to be fully supporting Blair, but Blair was already pissed at her about the argument in the cafeteria on Valentine's Day. If she was going to get back into Blair's good graces, she needed to do this, or she'd lose it all. If Blair didn't forgive her, she'd be stuck with Hazel, who also wouldn't be able to forgive her… so ultimately… she'd have no one… least of all, Matt.

Jenny looked at them in shock. "Because she's a hypocrite? Because she treated you guys so badly by sitting on her high horse and looking down on you when _she_ wasn't any better than anyone else?"

"So we had an argument," Isabel shrugged.

"We're still her friends," Kati finished.

"And what about Matt?" Jenny asked, looking at Melissa, completely astounded. "He's seeing her now. How can you want to be friends with her? And the argument the other day in the cafeteria? I'm sure Hazel isn't going to be so quick to forgive her."

"Hazel will have to get over it," Melissa shrugged. "I did." But, she hadn't.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Jenny exclaimed. "You're my friends! Doesn't that mean anything to you? How can you _be_ this way?"

"What way?" Isabel asked.

"Blair's been our friend much longer than you," Kati said. Then she glared. "And you ruined our fun at the gala."

"But I didn't _do_ it!" Jenny exclaimed.

"Even if you didn't," Melissa finally said, deciding to point out the obvious. "Who's going to believe you now?"

"But—"

"Please leave my house, Jenny," Melissa said. "And don't come back. You're no longer welcome here."

"Melissa—"

"Should I send you down with an escort? Make sure you don't pilfer anything on the way out?" Melissa asked snottily.

Jenny stood, glaring at the three that used to be her friends. She had come here hoping to appeal to the friendship they'd had, but obviously that was a stupid idea. These girls weren't her friends, maybe they never had been.

"That's not necessary," Jenny snapped. She turned to leave.

"Oh, and Hazel wants her sterling silver pen back," Melissa hollered after her. "You know the one that you _borrowed_?"

Jenny froze. She _had_ borrowed a pen from Hazel and forgotten to give it back. Perhaps the only time she'd forgotten something like that. She hadn't realized it was sterling silver… and, until this minute, she didn't know that something stupid like a pen would be able to dispute everything she'd just said.

"I'll give it to her in school tomorrow," Jenny managed to say quietly, nearly choking on the words, before going for the door.

"See that you do," Melissa said with a smirk.

* * *

"I just feel so… scared, _excited!_" Elise stuttered. "Scared _and_ excited, you know?"

Blair laughed. "It's okay to feel scared and excited, E! Have you ever had a boyfriend before?"

Elise blushed and shook her head.

"Don't worry," Blair smiled. "I've had _plenty_ of practice. More than my fair share, for sure. You have nothing to worry about."

"But… he hasn't called yet," Elise said, her teeth worrying her bottom lip. "What if he changed his mind? What if he decided he doesn't like me? Oh my gosh! He realized that I'm this huge clutz who can't even dance and now he wants nothing to do with me!"

"Calm down!" Blair said, grabbing Elise's forearms and shaking her. "_Control_, Elise. You must be in _control_. He will call. How could he not? Besides, this is Eric van der Woodsen. I know him. He doesn't play games. If he said he'll call, he'll call."

"Really?" Elise said with a small hopeful smile.

"Yes!" Blair nodded. "Now, let's go in Bendel's and pick out something that will make his jaw drop! They'll be cleaning his drool off the floor when he sees you."

Elise giggled while Blair paused and thought about what she just said. _Ew_.

Blair rolled her eyes, "I've been hanging out with you way too much!"

She dragged Elise into the store. "Now, we need something for your next date with Eric, something for school tomorrow, and something for Friday night."

"What? Wait," Elise stuttered. "What?" She needed three outfits? And what for? She didn't have anything on her schedule for those days.

Blair smirked. "Eric will call, and you've got to be ready. _Control_. When he calls, you want to get together _Saturday_ night. And you need something extra special for school tomorrow because it will be the first time you see him since the dance… plus, you know, it'll be your first day eating on the steps. Memories…" Blair said the last in a sing-song voice.

"Um, okay…" Elise said uncertainly. "But… what did you say about Friday?"

Blair shrugged. "The girls are all going out, _you_ are coming with!"

Elise flushed. "Wow, I mean… wow… last Friday night was awesome with the after party, but… are you sure they like me? They always make me do stuff for them, but I never know if they really like me, you know?"

Blair shook her head. "E, forget about all that. Things are going to be _very_ different now." She smirked to herself. Kati and Isabel were fawning all over Blair, eager to be friends again. Any friend of Blair's was a friend of their's, that's all there was to it.

Elise nearly burst from the excitement racing through her. "Blair, I'm… thank you… for everything."

"Don't say that," Blair said firmly.

"… why not?" Elise asked, confused.

"Because we're friends, not… acquaintances or… whatever," Blair rolled her eyes. "Don't be grateful to me. It's what any friend would do." Blair shrugged.

She had somehow managed to grow a huge soft spot for the girl. A girl that she normally wouldn't give the time of day, but now that they'd spent so much time together—and not just for the sake of the 'plan' against Jenny—Blair was glad they had become friends. And the friendship that was forming with Elise was so different from any of her other ones… she was protective of Elise. Of course, she was protective of Serena as well, but there were so many more things that Elise needed to be protected from whilst Serena could stand on her own.

Elise understood what Blair was saying. And she couldn't have been happier. She had witnessed the type of friendship the other girls had. Hazel was supposed to be Melissa's BFF, but treated her horribly in private. She made her friends do things for her. All of the girls did it. If you wanted 'in', you had to be willing to be someone's slave to prove your devotion.

Blair was telling her that their friendship wasn't like that at all… that Blair was her friend because of who she was. Blair was actually doing things for _her_ without being asked. She was doing it because she was her _friend_.

Blair nearly dropped her mouth open in shock when Elise hugged her. "I love you, B!"

Blair was startled. None of her friends except for Serena had ever said that to her. Hell, it was hard enough getting her _boyfriend_ to say that to her.

Elise finally pulled away and smiled brightly at Blair, who was still slightly flustered.

"Right," Blair went on to say, as if they hadn't been interrupted by any display of emotion. "And Friday night, we're going to Marquee."

"Marquee?" Elise said uncertainly.

"Yes," Blair nodded.

"But… don't you have to be at least eighteen to go there? I'm way underage, and I don't even _look_ eighteen!" Elise said. "They'll never let me in." And then she'll be horribly embarrassed in front of Blair and all the girls. She flinched at the thought.

"Elise," Blair said. "Let me worry about that." Money talked and Blair planned on having a lot of conversations. Elise's new station needed to be firmly etched in the minds of all the other girls. They needed to know not to mess with her E, period.

"Okay…" Elise said uncertainly. "So, how about this?" She said as she dragged a pink sheath off a rack.

Blair smiled. "You do learn fast." Was it only two or three weeks ago that she'd taken this girl under her wing? Elise was definitely a quick study… and pink was totally her color… but a darker color would serve to make Elise look just a little bit older… which was definitely necessary for Friday night. But pink for her first real date with Eric? Perfect!

* * *

"Who is it?"

Blair sighed and rolled onto her back. She and Elise were plopped down on Blair's bed, watching Breakfast at Tiffany's for Elise's _third_ time, when Blair's phone started to ring.

"It's Matt," Blair said, disinterested.

"Aren't you going to answer?" Elise asked when the phone kept ringing and Blair didn't pick up.

"Maybe next time," Blair shrugged and turned off the ringer before rolling back into position for the movie.

"But… why? Don't you like him?" Elise was bewildered.

"Yes," Blair half lied. She didn't really know if she liked him or not… but she _did_ know that they were getting together on Tuesday. He could wait until then to talk to her. Leave him wanting more. She'd had just about enough of appearing too eager as she had for Nate. And she'd had it with trusting anyone, thanks to Chuck… and to Nate as well.

She was going to drag this out, take things nice and slow… especially since she was just "casually" dating Matt.

"I'm busy right now," Blair said matter-of-factly. "We have a date on Tuesday. I'll see him then."

"I don't mind if you want to…" Elise tried to say that she didn't mind if Blair wanted to talk to Matt while she was with her.

"But _I_ mind," Blair interrupted. "Ooh! Look, it's at the part when she goes looking for Cat. Only Audrey can look so beautiful and elegant while she's running through the pouring rain."

"I wish I did!" Elise said, laughing.

And the two focused on the movie once again.

Blair glanced at Elise to make sure she was engrossed before she read the text message that had buzzed through after she missed the call.

**had a good time last night. cant wait 2 c u again. call me.**

She sighed. It was possible that Matt was getting a little too attached to her already. It was a good thing she hadn't answered the phone. She didn't want to appear eager, especially when she wasn't. But… maybe Serena was right. Maybe she should just forget about the date on Tuesday. She could let him down easy, right?

Chuck hadn't bothered her for almost an entire day, which she had mixed feelings about.

She hadn't been lying when she told him how pathetic he was for following her around… but she'd only said it like that because he was stressing her out. Her feelings got too hurt and confused when he was around. He had hurt her. She didn't know who she was angrier at—_him_ for doing the hurting or _herself_ for being hurt.

There was a small tiny part of her that she was trying desperately to hide from. The part that was a little disappointed that he hadn't tried to contact her or 'accidentally' bump into her today. She kept resisting the urge to smack herself upside the head.

Her plan had worked. She told Chuck to leave her alone, and told him that she was seeing Matt. Well, admittedly it had only been a day, and she still needed to go through school and see how he would act. But it was still a _good_ thing, she reminded herself. It was _very_ good that Chuck finally took the hint. She could work on her issues and not have to worry about Chuck making things worse for her.

So, really she couldn't break up with Matt just yet since the plan was working as far as Chuck was concerned.

She felt the bed shift and looked over to see Elise looking at her phone.

"Sweetie, _stop_," Blair admonished.

Elise snapped the phone shut and gave a sheepish smile. "Sorry, I just… are you sure he'll call today? He hasn't called yet and it's almost dinner time."

"He _will_ call…eventually," Blair said, though she was beginning to wonder herself why Eric was being such a jerk. Yesterday when he was sick was one thing, but surely he'd recovered enough by today to pick up a phone and call—or at least _text_. "Maybe he's still not feeling well. But right now, that doesn't matter. _You_ are _not_ going to sit by your phone waiting for any boy to call, I don't care _who_ he is."

"Yes, ma'am!" Elise said with a salute before grinning from ear to ear.

Blair grinned back before settling down for the movie again. Maybe she should introduce Elise to 'Roman Holiday' after this, though the dinner hour was fast approaching. She just had to make sure Dorota prepared a light and healthy meal—preferably of grapes and lots of vegetables—instead of something amazingly fattening that Elise seemed to enjoy. The girl was just like Serena in that respect. She could eat anything and not gain a fraction of an ounce.

If only she took after her two best friends….

She sighed and went back to concentrating on the movie, completely forgetting about Matt and his text.

* * *

**Monday, February 18****th****. 7:15am**

She didn't know if it was denial or just _very _telling…but she had completely forgotten about Nate throughout the entire weekend.

He _did_ call her on Saturday, just like he told her he would. Except he called during her meeting with her psychiatrist. He left a message to call him back, but she'd received it right after Chuck's latest stalker exchange. She told herself she'd call him later, she just couldn't deal with _both_ of them so soon after the other.

Now, she was regretting that decision to wait because she obviously forgot to call him back, and he obviously wanted to talk to her, as was very evident by her witnessing him walking across the courtyard. She seemed to be his destination.

"Great," she mumbled. Elise was due to arrive any minute now and they were going to stroll to the steps for Elise's first sit. There were bound to be some sort of confrontation with Hazel, and possibly Melissa, and she was anxious to get there and settle in with the upper hand.

"Blair," Nate said softly, approaching with eyes that were half smiling, half confused. "I called you, but you didn't…"

"Sorry about that," Blair said quickly. "I was busy and forgot to call you back."

"Oh," Nate accepted her explanation. "Well, I was wondering if we could get together after school one day this week… you did say we should try to be friends first, right?"

"Ah, well, I," Blair tried to remember how to talk. She _had_ told Nate all that, but she shouldn't have. She had just been so amazed that Nate had not only forgiven her, but wanted to get back together, that she'd fumbled. She was _supposed_ to be dating Matt so that Chuck _and_ Nate would leave her alone; but since she'd told Nate on Friday night that her being with Matt wasn't anything—that she wasn't interested in him—she sort of tossed a wrench into that plan as far as Nate was concerned.

"I'm pretty busy this week, Nate," Blair finally said. "Maybe we'll try for something next week?"

"Are you sure? It doesn't have to be, like, Friday or anything. How about Wednesday?" he suggested but she was already starting to shake her head. "Or Tuesday?"

"She has plans with _me_ on Tuesday, Archibald," Matt said, glowering at Nate. "Better luck next time. Oh wait, no. Because there isn't going to _be_ a next time."

Blair went stiff and tried everything she could think to not push Matt's arm off her shoulders. She was startled and she really didn't appreciate him interrupting her conversation. She needed to make her excuses and walk away from Nate with minimal damage all around. And she _really _didn't need a fight.

To say that Nate was surprised was an understatement. He was positive that Blair had indicated she was not in anyway interested in Matt… he'd heard about the date Saturday night, but figured it was just something left over from the dance and that was that. But if she had made plans to go out with him _again_, which would be _three_ times in the past five days… maybe she wasn't as disinterested as she had led him to believe.

"Tuesday, huh?" Nate managed. "That was quick." His eyes were shooting a wounded sort of pissed look straight at Blair.

Blair shifted uncomfortably. She wanted to tell Matt to get off her. She wanted to explain everything to Nate so badly, but what could she really say? _Nate, I'm only pretending to like Matt because I'm going through some serious issues right now and being around you or Chuck just make those issues worse. Just thinking about memories of our past reminds me of all the times you made me feel ugly and fat without even realizing it—it all happened simply because you just wouldn't give me enough of the love or attention that I needed. I need time to think things through and to fix myself… because I don't intend to speak to Chuck _ever_ again, but I do very much want to fix _our (_meaning hers and Nate's) friendship eventually and if it leads us back to a relationship, so be it. Just give me some time, okay?_

Somehow, she didn't think that would go over well.

So, she took the opportunity that had presented itself and decided to make Nate believe that her words Friday night were a fluke. She _was_ dating Matt now. And she _was_ very interested in him.

She sighed and settled against Matt's side. "Yes, quick, but he is definitely amazing and, you know, I just _have_ to spend as much time as possible getting to know him." She nearly gagged on herself when she looked up at Matt flirtatiously, batting her eyelashes coyly.

"Right," Nate snapped. "Sounds utterly fascinating. Don't let me keep you from it." He left and headed toward the school, not bothering to say goodbye or to look back. It seemed sort of pointless at that stage.

The minute Nate was in the building, Blair turned sharply in front of Matt and frowned. "What was that?"

Matt tilted his head to the side. "What were you doing talking to him?" He was still a little ticked at the sight that had greeted him on arrival.

"_Excuse_ me?" Blair said, eyebrows raised and lips pursed in such a way that if you knew her, you'd know to watch out.

"What were you _doing_ talking to _him_?" he asked again.

"First of all," Blair said, holding up one finger, "I do _not_ appreciate any form of PDA _unless_ I give permission and/or instigate it myself. Do you understand?"

Matt paused. _Damn_, that had been the rule she'd given him, but he hadn't realized it would extend past Friday night. He figured they'd make new rules now… or something…

"And, second of all," Blair said, "_YOU_ do not have a say in _who_ I speak to! I will talk to whoever I want, whenever I want, wherever I want. Do not even begin to _conceive_ that you have any power over me and what I do, because this thing will be over before it even begins if you think that."

"Blair… he's your ex," he pointed out, attempting to get a word in, but he was getting flushed. He felt like he was being scolded by his mother, and he was also getting angry that she thought she could just speak to her ex any time she wanted to. After the jealous rage he'd just experienced at only seeing the two of them _speaking_? He didn't want to feel that way again. He'd never been jealous over a girl in his life, and he didn't like it one bit.

"Right, _my_ ex," Blair snapped, "meaning _my_ business, _not_ yours."

"Just…" he tried to figure out something, _anything _to make things better because he was starting to have the feeling that she was a heartbeat away from breaking things off with him. "I'm sorry," he finally said, feeling like a big whipped idiot. "I just want to get to know you without interference, and when I see you two together, I have to wonder…"

Blair sighed. "Just trust me, Matt. If we can't even trust each other, where does that leave us?" Of course _she_ didn't need to trust _him_. She could care less who he spoke to or what he did in his free time. She was only using him… and as long as he did nothing to humiliate her, their fake relationship would go just fine.

Matt struggled, trying to figure out some way to answer. He wasn't big on trust… he had a lot of trust issues. In fact, he probably didn't trust anyone… except his mother, but he hadn't seen her in years.

Blair saw his speechlessness and forced one of her famous faux smiles. "Gotta meet the girls on the steps. See you tomorrow after school, okay?" she said as sweetly as possible.

"Sure," Matt managed, disappointed to see her go.

"Call me!" he called after her retreating back. She didn't turn around so he wasn't sure if she heard him or not. He'd waited all evening for her to call him back yesterday… and she hadn't. He hoped she'd call him today, or at least answer when _he_ called. He was starting to behave like one of those girls who sat by the phone waiting to hear from their significant interest.

He didn't really like how things were going between them, but at least she was still talking to him, and at least she'd given him another chance by agreeing to meet him on Tuesday.

Admittedly, his plan for Tuesday probably wasn't the most romantic_—_or romantic at all, but it was different. He'd have to get some sort of brownie points for effort...

Right?

* * *

_To be continued…_


	28. Chapter 26

**REMINDER! REMINDER! REMINDER!**

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around for upcoming episodes. Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you!  XOXO Sharon

* * *

This story takes place after the events of **A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate**. Concepts from later episodes may be used.

* * *

_**Previously… on Aftershock**_

"You crafty little thief!" Kati exclaimed. "I can't believe I ever befriended you!"

"Kati," Jenny began, bewildered, "I didn't take this from you."

"Really?" Kati said in disbelief, "Then where did you get it?"

"Nate, Nate gave it to me," Jenny finally admitted.

"You have got to be kidding me! First you steal from Kati and Melissa, and now you expect us to believe that Nate Archibald bought you presents? Have you gone mad?" Hazel shrilled.

"Jenny, I have no idea what you're talking about," Nate said. "I never sent you anything."

"But if you didn't send those notes, who did?" Jenny whispered.

- + - + -

"Well, if Chuck didn't do it, then who did?" Dan asked.

Jenny thought, "The only other person who might call me a "rat" would be…"

"Blair," they both said her name at the same time.

- + - + -

"Chuck's there?" Blair asked, startled.

"Been here for a while now," Serena sighed. "Eric called him. I have no idea why, but they disappeared into his room and I haven't seen them since."

"Probably filling his head with crap," Blair complained. "And Elise has been waiting for Eric to call. I just got off the phone with her."

"Wait…" Serena shifted uncomfortably. "You called her after your date?"

"Well, yeah, she wanted to know the details too," Blair shrugged.

"Oh, well, I just thought you would have called me first…" Serena trailed off…

"I'm calling you now, S," Blair said.

- + - + -

"I was thinking I'd just start with a phone call," Eric stuttered.

"Three days," Chuck said. "That's the rule, I think." Chuck shrugged; he'd never done the proper courtship thing that Eric seemed to want to do.

"Wait three days since the last time you saw her, then call. Leaves her wanting more."

"But that's Monday," Eric said. "What if I see her at school before I get the chance to call? That'll be awkward."

"Control, Eric," Chuck explained. "You need to call the shots. She told you to call her. And you will, but when you want to."

"I want to call her tomorrow," Eric said.

Chuck shook his head. "When advice is given, usually one should take it."

- + - + -

"Blair is stubborn," Eric explained. "If she wants to do something, she's going to do it. No one can stop her. And if you keep trying to make her change her mind, she's just going to distance herself as much as possible from you."

"If you let her go, figure out what she really wants, who knows?" Eric shrugged. "Maybe she'll realize you're what's best for her?"

"And if she doesn't?" Chuck asked.

"Then move on," Eric said. "No use killing yourself over your self pity party."

- + - + -

"Well, I was wondering if we could get together after school one day this week… you did say we should try to be friends first, right?" Nate asked.

"I'm pretty busy this week, Nate," Blair finally said. "Maybe we'll try for something next week?"

"Are you sure? It doesn't have to be, like, Friday or anything. How about Wednesday?" he suggested but she was already starting to shake her head. "Or Tuesday?"

"She has plans with me on Tuesday, Archibald," Matt said arriving on the scene and glowering at Nate. "Better luck next time."

- + - + -

**And who am I? That's a secret I'll never tell.**

**You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl.**

* * *

**Monday, February 18****th****. Before school.**

"B!"

Blair turned, sighing, wondering who was interrupting her _now_. She had just spotted Elise and they were making their way toward each other when someone called her name.

"Serena, hey," Blair said, recognizing the blonde goddess rushing toward her.

"I got your message too late," Serena said, slightly out of breath. "I wish you had told me last night that you wanted to get here early. I was on my way to the shower when I saw your text. I got here as fast as I could. What's with the early bird anyway?"

"Calm down," Blair smiled. "It wasn't the end of the world that I had to walk to school by myself. I _have_ done it before."

"Well, yeah," Serena said shrugging. "It's just that it's our… thing. You know?"

"Sure, yeah, I know," Blair said distractedly, her train of thought still caught toward the brunette walking her way. "E!" She started toward the freshman, taking hold of Elise's hands and pulling their arms wide so she could look at the results of Elise's new look. "You look amazing!"

Serena looked at Elise and sighed. "You do look great, Elise."

Elise blushed, not used to the attention. "Thanks, I uh… hope the stockings aren't too much. It was really cold this morning and the other ones were great, B, but they weren't thick enough…"

"They're perfect," Blair said, smiling proudly. "A girl has to know how to accessorize according to the weather. You did fine."

Elise looked absolutely fabulous. Her hair was pulled into a loose bun at the nape of her neck, secured with black opal tipped chopsticks, and soft strands of recently clipped hair framing her face down to her chin. The pink gloss on her lips had been applied with the new skill that she had perfected after endless practice at Blair's house. Her eyes were lightly rimmed with a charcoal liner. A hint of light gray shadow sat in the crease of her eye lids.

Her school uniform was the basic white billowy shirt, tucked neatly into her waistband. Her skirt was black but lined with pink threads as opposed to the normal green, yellow, and red ones. Her coat was pink as well, in the cropped military jacket style by Chloe. It stopped short at her waist, made of French wool with a cozy fur collar.

Originally Blair had her in nude hose, but the girl had opted for warmer white stockings, which were just fine. Blair was just glad she hadn't gone over board with pink ones. Less was sometimes _more_ and Elise probably would have looked like a Peep with pink stockings. Blair was also _extremely_ glad that she hadn't gone with black—the other color in her outfit. Because that would have been so much worse, especially with the black Stuart Weitzman ballet pumps she was wearing.

They had decided to go with a lower heel considering it was Elise's coming out day and since she would be nervous enough, they were going to avoid any teetering on high heels as much as possible. Blair would dominate with the heels instead.

"So, again, I ask," Serena said. "What's with the early bird?"

"Serena?" Blair asked with a knowing smirk. "It's a beautiful morning to sit on the steps, isn't it?"

Serena paused, startled. Then she smiled. _Of course!_ Now that Blair had reigned supreme Friday night during the after party at _Serena's_ place—she was so glad the help had been able to clean everything to perfection before her mother and Bart returned from their "romantic" getaway—Blair would be reclaiming her throne on the stairs. But…

Why hadn't Blair said anything to her about it before now?

"Yes, it _is_ a beautiful morning to sit on the steps," Serena said, pushing the thought to the back of her mind. "Will you be joining us?" she asked Elise.

"Silly Serena," Blair said, amused. "Of course she is. Now, let's go!"

Blair turned and clasped Elise on her elbow, leading her away.

Serena just watched as her best friend led the other girl. She guessed she was supposed to just follow them… but shouldn't she be standing next to Blair for this momentous occasion? Hadn't _she_ been the one to stand by Blair throughout her entire shunning period? Hadn't she been there for her when no one else would give her the time of day? Her rightful place was next to her best friend.

She knew Elise was sweet and she honestly didn't have a problem with the girl… but she was starting to feel like she was being slowly replaced… and it had only been a few weeks since Elise and Blair started talking.

Wait—it _had_ only been a few weeks. Blair wasn't trying to replace her. Blair was just reclaiming her throne and helping out a friend in the process. Everything would be so much better after everything was settled on the steps. Blair just needed to stand on her own for a little while. But Serena would follow along and give the support she'd been giving since Blair's world had fallen apart. Blair might not be acting like it at the moment, but she still needed her.

_Right?_

* * *

Chuck watched the exchange between Blair, Nate, and Matt.

_Curious..._

After Chuck and Nate's last exchange—which consisted of a threat to stay away from Jenny _and_ Blair—and from what Chuck had seen between Blair and Nate at the gala, Chuck knew that it was only a matter of time before Nate made another move on Blair.

Of course, he had also assumed Blair would immediately jump at the chance.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

Flashbacks to the conversation he overheard between Serena and Dan during the gala filled his mind.

"_She'll be better soon," Serena said, "Just as long as Chuck leaves her alone. He's not good for her."_

"_I have to agree. Chuck is definitely not good enough for her," Dan muttered. _

"_I didn't say he wasn't good enough for her… although I probably should have. I said he wasn't good _for_ her. Neither is Nate. In fact, I just hope both of them stay away from her. They both cause more harm than good."_

He hadn't understood what Serena was talking about then, and even after following Blair to that mysterious brownstone again, he still didn't understand.

But he had a feeling whatever Serena meant was the reason Blair was choosing Matt over Nate right now.

And if Blair wasn't going to be with Nate _or _Chuck, then what was the point in Nate and Chuck continuing to fight?

And since he'd decided after his conversation with Eric that it was time to leave Blair alone, maybe it was time to get his best friend back… but how?

Chuck watched Nate walk away as an idea began to form.

Now he just needed to find Eric.

* * *

"Cold?"

"I, uh, yes," Elise stuttered, flushing a little. It was the middle of February and she wasn't used to sitting on the cold cement. She didn't understand how the girls could sit out here when it was freezing! She really just wanted to go into school and get as warm as possible… possibly grabbing some hot tea in the cafeteria—high schools weren't in the habit of serving coffee to teenagers, unfortunately, even the elitist.

"Here," Blair said, scooting closer to Elise, smashing up next to her to share body heat. "Kati and Is will be here soon. You'll barely notice the cold once they arrive."

Serena was in a shock. Blair wasn't one to share body heat with anyone. In fact, any girl admitting to being cold while sitting on the steps would immediately be on the receiving end of some scathing remark.

"Blair!" there was a slight pause of uncertainty, then, "Elise!"

Kati and Is had arrived.

They were very excited that Blair had finally returned to their fold; it was, after all, part of their plan. They had missed Blair so much!

But…

Blair had brought along a little stowaway. Kati and Is weren't sure how they felt about Elise. The girl seemed to have come from out of nowhere. She was a lackey at first and now she was sitting on the steps and seemed to have Blair's full approval?

The girl _was_ sweet though, far sweeter than anyone who usually joined them. And the girl was also "_talking"_ to little Eric van der Woodsen. No one was going to mess with a girl who might be dating the younger brother of _Serena_ van der Woodsen. The girls had all grown up together and the one thing they knew with absolute certainty was that both Blair and Serena were fiercely protective of Eric.

Some lines you just did not cross.

So, while they weren't too sure about this newbie, they were going to accept her with open arms… for now.

Blair could see the little looks of indecisiveness that came over K and I's faces before they composed themselves. She smirked to herself. She knew they were a little wary of Elise, but it only proved how devoted the two were to Blair, how much power she had regained, that they would accept Elise without question.

"And what am I?" Serena asked pointedly, glancing at the two who had neglected to greet her. "Chopped liver?"

Elise opened her mouth to ask 'beef or chicken' but was interrupted by Blair who knew that Elise made strange jokes when she was nervous. The jokes were usually hilarious, but inappropriate, and that shouldn't be the first thing Elise said this morning.

"Serena! Hush," Blair smiled prettily. "You know you're the main dish, never the hors d'oeuvres!"

Serena rolled her eyes.

Kati and Is settled onto the steps, sitting one step below Elise, Blair, and Serena.

"S!" the girls said, turning their attention to her.

"Are you coming with us Friday? To Marquee?" Kati asked.

Serena quirked an eyebrow. This was news to her. Since when had they decided to go? "I'm not sure, who's going?" She didn't really have plans Friday night, and it might be fun to get together with everyone again since it hadn't happened since Blair was dethroned, but… she was having the same weird vibe she'd been having all morning and she didn't like it at all.

"Oh, you know," Isabel shrugged, "B, Us, M, and little E over here."

Elise didn't crack a grin at that. She knew that one of the things Blair wanted to stop was everyone adding the 'little' to the front of her name. She schooled her expression to be displeased and didn't smile at all even though she knew Kati and Is were looking at her and smiling, looking for some sort of approval after that statement

"B assures me that an introduction to Manhattan's night life is in order," Elise told Serena, nudging Blair's side slightly and bestowing a smile upon Blair.

Kati and Is shifted uncomfortably at being ignored. _What had they said?_

"_E_, it's going to be so much fun!" Blair said, emphasizing Elise's nickname and feeling pride because Elise had successfully followed her instructions. "And of course Serena is coming with us; did you even need to ask?"

Serena's eyes traveled back and forth between the girls, understanding what was silently going on here, and knowing that this was necessary. Elise wanted to shed her former status as much as possible and the 'little' was almost guaranteed to remind everyone that she wasn't 'on par' with the rest of them.

Then her eyes flew back to Blair when she realized what had been subconsciously bugging her all morning but she couldn't put her finger on it.

Blair hadn't _once_ called her 'S' today.

She'd done nothing but call Elise, "E", but she hadn't once called Serena by her nickname.

_What the hell was going on?_ she thought, feeling a slight pang of what could only be jealousy. Was Blair doing it on purpose for some reason? But why would she do it?

She scrunched her eyes at Blair, but Blair just smiled back at her. Maybe Blair didn't even realize what she was saying. She knew that sometimes she called Blair 'B' without even thinking about it. Maybe Blair was just having a crazy word day or something. She'd have to ask her later about it. She brought her attention back to the subject at hand.

Kati and Is were having a eureka moment. "Yes, _E_," they said, letting Blair and Elise know that they followed the unspoken message loud and clear, "definitely fun!"

"And maybe Is can try to avoid flirting with the bouncer like last time," Kati giggled.

"It was only once and… he was hot," Is exclaimed, giggling too.

"You mean with his bald little head?" Serena joked.

Elise desperately wanted to ask if the bouncer had been 'old', but she kept her mouth shut. Blair had assured her that once the girls got to know her better and accepted her that she wouldn't have to watch what she said as much… she really hoped that happened soon, because not being able to speak her mind was starting to get to her.

"That was totally _shaved_," Is said, affronted. "Besides, that man was built and was definitely _not_ lacking in any department."

"Except for hair," Elise accidentally slipped. She almost put her hand to her mouth, cursing the genes that gave her a big mouth that she couldn't always control. She started to cringe and look with apologetic eyes at Blair, but stopped when she heard a sound.

Is was back to looking disgruntled and Kati, Serena, and Blair were all laughing at the joke.

Elise began to relax. Maybe she _could_ do this.

"What's _she_ doing here?" a snotty new voice asked.

The girls all looked to the person at the base of the steps.

Blair just waited, knowing this was the moment she'd been waiting for.

Kati and Is looked back and forth between Hazel and Elise. It was clear Hazel was glaring Elise down.

Hazel was still smarting from the fact that no one had bothered showing up at her after-party on Friday night. She wanted to take it out on Blair, but the fact that all the girls had gone running to have Blair's back, she knew that now was not the time to start a war with Blair. She was going to have to leave Blair to another day, but today the perfect target for Hazel's displeasure was definitely the little girl dressed all in pink, sitting next to Blair as if she belonged there.

"_She_ was invited," came the sharp retort from Elise, her eyes flashing.

Kati and Is snapped their heads back in Elise's direction, surprise clearly written on their faces.

Serena's mouth dropped open in shock. Had Elise really just snapped at someone?

Hazel tried to speak, but words were having problems coming out. She hadn't expected the girl to speak up. Everyone knew a newbie to the stairs was gracious of their elders and tried everything they could to please them.

"Well, _she_ was misinformed," Hazel snapped. "Because _she_ doesn't belong here."

"Surely you didn't think you were in any position to tell anyone where they can and cannot _sit_?" Elise asked.

Hazel almost stumbled, remembering when Melissa had said something similar to Blair a month ago… right before… Hazel's eyes widened. _No_, this little girl couldn't possibly be about to do what she thought she was about to do.

"You're not _now_, nor have you ever _been_ queen, _H_," Elise said the initial of her name with disgust, loving that she was the one to officially knock Hazel off her pedestal after all the orders and bitchiness Hazel had forced her to endure for the past month.

Hazel looked to Kati and Is for help. "Surely you're not going to let this little nobody speak to me this way."

The girls looked at Hazel as if she were crazy.

"Her name is Elise," Isabel corrected, pointing out that the girl was, in fact, _some_body.

"And she is absolutely correct," Kati said, patting Elise's knee, grinning. "E _was_ invited here."

Hazel could feel her face turning bright red. She knew she was going to explode any minute now.

"My, my, my," Blair said softly, smiling wickedly. "How the tables have turned."

"This isn't over, _Queen B_," Hazel spat the words, turning her full ire on the person who really deserved it. "Don't get too comfortable."

"Hazel, Hazel, Hazel," Blair said, shaking her head. "Aren't you quite tired of the empty threats? That's what made you so weak. All talk with no follow through."

"We'll see about that!" Hazel ground out before she stalked away, so angry she couldn't see straight.

"Timber," Elise muttered under her breath, referring to a Holly Golightly quote from Breakfast at Tiffany's.

The girls fell into easy laughter, the joke lost on no one.

Hazel's back stiffened as she walked away, but knew she couldn't do anything about the laughter.

Blair just smirked at Hazels' retreating back, marveling at how well everything had gone.

It was a good day to be queen.

* * *

"Relax, brother of mine," Chuck murmured, amused. "She's making her grand debut on the steps today, you're safe." He'd been waiting for Eric's arrival and met up with him in the courtyard away from the view of the stairs.

Eric breathed a sigh of relief. He was following Chuck's instructions to wait to call Elise until that evening, but that didn't mean he didn't feel badly about it.

"I need your help with a little… situation," Chuck drawled out under his breath.

"Not _Blair_ again," Eric said with disapproval. "Thought we talked about that."

Chuck shook his head. "Nate."

"So… what do you need from me?" Eric asked, bewildered.

"A girl."

Eric was hesitant. "Aren't you better at finding women? And what does this have to do with Nate?"

"Nate needs a little motivation," Chuck explained. "A little push."

Eric nodded, amused now. "I see… and again I ask what do you need from me?"

"He won't talk to me, but _you…_"

"I see," Eric nodded again, still amused. "And… why are you doing this?"

"Look, if neither of us is going to be with Blair, what's the point of this whole argument?" Chuck muttered. "He just needs to take his mind off Blair too."

"And, if, in the process, you clear the field a little more for _you_ and Blair, even better, right?" Eric said, laughing out loud now. "So much for leaving Blair alone."

Chuck turned his eyes heavenward and put his arm around Eric's shoulders, turning him toward school.

"I _am _leaving her alone. You think too much."

"Baby steps, bro," Eric shook his head, laughing. "Baby steps."

* * *

And the morning wouldn't be complete without an appearance from the other girl of the steps, the one who still _very_ much disliked Blair, but didn't want to lose her friends or her position. Albeit, that position lowered slightly due to Blair's uprising, but she was still firmly encased in the group. And she wasn't about to let that go.

"Morning," Melissa said, trying to affect a Mona Lisa type voice, one that showed no emotion either way. Emotionless seemed the expression of choice today.

She barely even flinched when she recognized the girl sitting next to Blair. She knew that she had just entered a whole new world, one where the rules were a little distorted because everything had been shaken up.

"Melissa," Blair allowed before motioning for her to take a seat on the steps.

Melissa walked up and nearly sat down next to Kati and Is but Blair waggled her hand.

"Ah, ah," B said, shaking her head and pointing.

Melissa grimaced before sitting a step further down than her two best friends. This was the price she was going to have to endure, she supposed.

"So, where were we before being interrupted by the tardy?" Blair jabbed before turning to Elise.

"The dance!" Kati said, "Sasha went with Jacob and Opal nearly ate her last season's Pradas; she was so angry!"

"Of course," Isabel shrugged, "the news was all over Gossip Girl. It's so sad." Is shook her head at the deep sadness she felt over the situation.

"Opal and Sasha had been BFFs for, IDK… _ever_?" Kati explained.

"Who would ever let a guy come between them?" Is asked, totally confused and horrified as she clutched at Kati's arm.

"Well, there's nothing really wrong when there _is_ a guy between us," Kati said, looking to Isabel with giggling eyes.

Blair rolled _her_ eyes. She knew these two were open to just about anything, including threesomes. She was pretty sure everyone else knew it too.

"But getting so upset over it?" Isabel said. "I'd _never_ let that happen to us," she continued fiercely, explaining to Kati.

"Me either!" Kati agreed vehemently.

"That's… very loyal of you," Elise said, trying not to shift uncomfortably.

"Well, the rules don't really apply to _our_ castoffs, just to everyone else's. We don't really care," Is said haughtily. And they didn't really sleep with any boys more than once.

"Rules?" Elise said, looking at Blair. She knew most of the rules… like fashion related dictates and poise and good grades and graces… what else was there?

"No dating someone in the group's ex," Kati explained quickly.

"Oh…" Elise said before her eyes moved from Blair to Melissa and back to Blair again. "But…"

Melissa saw an opening. It was the other reason she hadn't wanted to lose her place on the steps. "I'd been meaning to ask you about that too, B," she said, trying to infuse some degree of attitude but not a lot.

"Ask me what?" Blair said, barely deigning to look at Melissa.

"Well, you know… me and Matt," she started.

"I'm sorry, were you and Matt ever dating?" Blair said, turning to glare at Melissa, daring her to lie to her because she already knew the truth.

Melissa felt flush. "Well, we did, uh, one night…"

Blair rolled her eyes. "Be that as it may, a one night stand does _not_ an ex-boyfriend make."

Melissa opened her mouth and closed it, at a loss for words. Blair was right… she hadn't really been dating Matt. But it still hurt her to see him with the oh-so-perfect _Blair Waldorf_.

She tried to find the words to explain, to ask that maybe—just this once—Blair could let him go. She wanted to make her understand how Melissa felt for Matt. That it was mean and cruel and tearing her apart to force her to witness them together.

But Blair had already gone on to a different train of thought.

"Oh, Melissa?" Blair said, turning back to her.

"Yes?" Melissa said eagerly, wondering if maybe Blair would show a little mercy.

"That ribbon in your headband is nice, but I really don't think it's your color," Blair said meaningfully.

Melissa flushed again and put her hand to her head, trying to remember what color band she had slid on this morning.

Elise grinned at Blair's words. Then the two fell back into easy conversation.

Melissa realized what color it was.

Pink.

The newbie had Blair's approval, the rest of the girls' approval, was possibly dating a van der Woodsen, and now, officially, had her very own signature color?

Only one other person at this school had a signature color.

Blair's black.

Swallowing a gasp, Melissa realized that Elise was more than just Blair's newest project.

Blair was officially training Elise to follow in her footsteps.

* * *

Nate wondered why he even bothered with this class. It wasn't like he'd ever be running his own business. And that was the point of taking a business class, right? To learn how to run and operate a business?

He'd been groomed to be a lawyer for as long as he remembered. What did business have to do with any of that?

Probably a lot, he shook his head. He'd just rather not be in class today.

"With April fast approaching, it's time to turn our attention to the Spring Midterm project," Mr. Henderson explained.

"This is a group project," he continued to explain.

Nate inwardly groaned and ran a hand through his hair.

He started pleading with a higher power that it wouldn't be alphabetical order.

He should have known better. It was the reason he and Chuck had become friends in the first place. _A_rchibald followed by _B_ass was too close together in the alphabet. They always seemed to end up being paired together, and thus their friendship was born.

"You will be broken up into groups of _four_," the teacher continued.

Nate showed no reaction but he _really_ hoped it wasn't alphabetical order… because that would mean…

"Our first group is Nathaniel Archibald, Charles Bass, Richard Chamberlain, and Matthew Cunningham."

_Shit._

* * *

Jenny was running late. She hadn't done it on purpose, but the thought of what waited for her at school was enough to make her hit her snooze button one too many times.

Dan had already left by the time her father came in to see what was taking her so long.

Even with the pillow over her head she couldn't drown out his yelling her name. She'd finally crawled out of bed and gotten ready, but the dread in the pit of her stomach made her want to scream.

She couldn't even eat anything; her stomach was just too upset.

But she'd left and dragged herself to school. On the way, she looked at the people on the bus, trying to focus on what their lives were like, almost envious of them for already being out of their teen years and having settled into a normal routine of going to work, coming home, and not having to deal with the cattiness and bitchiness that surrounded her on a daily basis.

She had been beyond humiliated.

She was accused of a crime she didn't commit; she'd made an ass of herself in front of her crush; and she'd lost everything she'd work for all year.

Who said high school was supposed to be the best years of your life?

Or maybe that was college…

Either way, she still had to go to school, if only to get an education so that she could get a decent job and live a comfortable life.

Too bad a comfortable life wasn't what she wanted.

She was a Humphrey. She was artistic and talented and she wanted to succeed beyond her wildest dreams. She wanted everything. The money, the fame, the rich husband… was that too much to ask for?

Apparently.

The only good thing about arriving late for school was that no one was in the courtyard or the halls. She could just go to her locker and put her things away and hurry to class. She would probably end up with after school detention… she sort of hoped it was in school and during lunch instead, but she probably wouldn't be so lucky.

As she saddled up next to her locker, she felt a disquieting sense of alarm… her locker looked normal… except it didn't. Gritting her teeth, she opened it and blanched at the gooey substance that must have been squirted into her locker through the vents.

There was a note lying innocently on top of the few books sitting in there, like it had been pushed through the vents before the goo-ing had commenced.

Grimacing, she tentatively stuck two fingers in and tried to take out the note, knowing that whatever it was she probably didn't want to read, but she picked it up anyway. She started yanking when the crystal blue goo that had settled on the edges made the note difficult to pry.

She finally got it out and sighed.

**Sticky fingers anyone?**

_Whatever!_ She crumbled up the note and tried to toss it on the floor.

Unfortunately, the stupid thing stuck to her hand, so she ended up having to pry it off into the trash can at the end of the hall.

She was so late for class! And she couldn't even get her book out at the moment. She hadn't had any homework in that class over the weekend, so she'd left it here. Maybe she should just skip class and attempt to clean her locker.

She'd rather die than let people see her cleaning the thing out later on.

She sighed and went to the janitor's closet before getting to work.

* * *

Well, this was definitely going to make things easier. There was nothing like a school assignment to force people to spend time together when one of them was trying to avoid the other.

Chuck shook his head, forcing a smirk to his lips. Though he knew this would be the perfect opportunity for him to dig up some information and turn the tables his way with Nate, the irony wasn't lost on him.

It had to be fate playing a trick.

Backing off from Blair wouldn't be easy when the perfect opportunity for meddling had just presented itself.

"Well, this is definitely going to be interesting," Dick said, looking around at the guys in his group.

Nate just looked to the front, still showing no emotion. But he didn't know why shit like this kept happening to him: having to work on a school project with Chuck, Matt, _and_ Richard 'Dick' Chamberlain—the guy who kept attacking him on the basketball court last week.

No one replied to Dick's comment.

Matt could feel the tension around the table, most of it coming from Nate. He leaned back in his seat and hid a grin.

He didn't need to be tense about the current situation. What did he care? He was the one that got the girl. Well, maybe he should be a little tense… it seemed that both Chuck _and_ Nate kept making plays for Blair when he wasn't around… like how Nate tried to ask Blair out that very morning. Matt shifted and focused on the teacher, mentally counting the ways he'd loved to rub Blair being with him in the _golden boys'_ face.

The teacher droned on and on about the requirements for the project, and explained that they would only get a few days in class to work on it. The rest needed to be done independently. The teacher then passed out the project requirements. Once he was finished, each group was supposed to discuss how they wanted to split things up and schedule their 'outside' meetings.

Dick glanced around and then looked at the paper again before leaning toward Matt.

"Well," he said, just loud enough for Nate to hear. "I know whose _not_ doing the ethics portion of this project."

Matt laughed.

Nate almost crumbled the paper in his hand, resisting the urge to get up and pound both their faces in.

Chuck hadn't realized something was up between Dick and Nate. He eyeballed the exchange, wondering what the story was there.

Obviously it was up to the slacker to put on the pretense of showing interest in the project.

"You can take ethics and structuring," Chuck instructed Dick, deciding it would be best if he just passed out the assignments before any more testosterone got tossed around. "And you can have PR and advertising," he nodded toward Matt. "Nate and I will create the business proposal and run the numbers."

Nate bristled, but figured he'd just take up the issue with Chuck later. He wasn't in the mood to argue with him in front of the other guys. He was trying not to explode as it was.

"But, _you_ will mostly do the numbers, right?" Matt just had to get another hit into Nate while he could.

"Because a high school assignment with fake numbers and valueless money will make or break you?" Chuck said, directing a lethal stare at the white-blonde boy across from him. "Want to switch?"

Matt smirked. "No. I don't mind public relations… I'm especially good at courting while fending off the competition."

Chuck didn't even blink, but inside he was warring with himself. He was supposed to back off… but Matt was making him rethink his decision. When a gauntlet was thrown, the games began… and everyone knew a Bass loved a good game.

Correction.

A Bass loved to _win_ a good game.

_Stop it, Charles, _Chuck thought. _Blair isn't a competition. She has to make her own decisions without manipulation. You aren't allowed to manipulate things with her anymore. You can't mess things up again. Even if she changes her mind, she will never forgive you if you mess with things again._

He reigned in his thoughts and resisted the pull of the game.

For now, anyway…

But Dick was right. Things were definitely going to be interesting.

* * *

Jenny managed to finish cleaning her locker before the end of first period.

She grabbed the books she needed and began walking to her next class just as the bell rang and students began pouring out of classrooms. She kept her head down and made herself blend into the traffic, willing herself to be invisible.

It seemed to miraculously work.

She made her way to the water fountain that was near her class, the water helped to cool her off.

She turned around and that's when she saw them, walking down the hall, the crowd parting in front of them…

Blair, Kati, Is, with Melissa trailing behind.

Most surprising of all was the girl standing next to Blair, the two chatting like the best of friends, like they'd known each other for years.

Elise.

And with startling clarity, Jenny knew how Blair had managed to pull off the worst humiliation since Carrie got doused in pig's blood.

Jenny turned quickly back toward the fountain so they wouldn't notice her. But inside her mind was racing.

She needed to figure out her next move.

* * *

_To be continued…_


	29. Chapter 27

**REMINDER! REMINDER! REMINDER!**

**WARNING:** I know that there are spoilers floating around for upcoming episodes. Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.

Thank you! XOXO Sharon

* * *

This story takes place after the events of **A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate**. Concepts from later episodes may be used.

* * *

_**Previously… on Aftershock**_

"Are you coming with us Friday? To Marquee?" Kati asked.

Serena quirked an eyebrow. This was news to her. Since when had they decided to go? "I'm not sure, who's going?"

"Oh, you know," Isabel shrugged, "B, Us, M, and little E over here."

Elise didn't crack a grin at that. She knew that one of the things Blair wanted to stop was everyone adding the 'little' to the front of her name. She schooled her expression to be displeased and didn't smile at all even though she knew Kati and Is were looking at her and smiling, looking for some sort of approval after that statement

"B assures me that an introduction to Manhattan's night life is in order," Elise told Serena, nudging Blair's side slightly and bestowing a smile upon Blair.

Kati and Is shifted uncomfortably at being ignored. _What had they said?_

"_E_, it's going to be so much fun!" Blair said, emphasizing Elise's nickname and feeling pride because Elise had successfully followed her instructions. "And of course Serena is coming with us; did you even need to ask?"

Serena's eyes traveled back and forth between the girls, understanding what was silently going on here, and knowing that this was necessary. Elise wanted to shed her former status as much as possible and the 'little' was almost guaranteed to remind everyone that she wasn't 'on par' with the rest of them.

Then her eyes flew back to Blair when she realized what had been subconsciously bugging her all morning but she couldn't put her finger on it.

Blair hadn't _once_ called her 'S' today.

She'd done nothing but call Elise, "E", but she hadn't once called Serena by her nickname.

_What the hell was going on?_ she thought, feeling a slight pang of what could only be jealousy. Was Blair doing it on purpose for some reason? But why would she do it?

She scrunched her eyes at Blair, but Blair just smiled back at her. Maybe Blair didn't even realize what she was saying. She knew that sometimes she called Blair 'B' without even thinking about it. Maybe Blair was just having a crazy word day or something. She'd have to ask her later about it. She brought her attention back to the subject at hand.

Kati and Is were having a eureka moment. "Yes, _E_," they said, letting Blair and Elise know that they followed the unspoken message loud and clear, "definitely fun!"

- + - + -

_~~ For Blair and Dr. Sherman's previous counseling session, see Chapter 23. ~~_

- + - + -

"I need your help with a little… situation," Chuck drawled out under his breath.

"Not _Blair_ again," Eric said with disapproval. "Thought we talked about that."

Chuck shook his head. "Nate."

"So… what do you need from me?" Eric asked, bewildered.

"A girl."

Eric was hesitant. "Aren't you better at finding women? And what does this have to do with Nate?"

"Nate needs a little motivation," Chuck explained. "A little push… away from Blair."

- + - + -

Jenny managed to finish cleaning her locker before the end of first period.

She made her way to the water fountain that was near her class, the water helped to cool her off.

She turned around and that's when she saw them, walking down the hall, the crowd parting in front of them…

Blair, Kati, Is, with Melissa trailing behind.

Most surprising of all was the girl standing next to Blair, the two chatting like the best of friends, like they'd known each other for years.

Elise.

And with startling clarity, Jenny knew how Blair had managed to pull off the worst humiliation since Carrie got doused in pig's blood.

Jenny turned quickly back toward the fountain so they wouldn't notice her. But inside her mind was racing.

She needed to figure out her next move.

- + - + -

**You know you love me,**

**XOXO Gossip Girl**

* * *

**Monday, February 18****th****. After school.**

"So, Dad chose this weekend to introduce us to his new… _lady friend_," Dan emphasized, grimacing as he changed the subject quickly once again.

He was talking too fast and about a million different things and knew it was only a matter of time before Serena asked him what he was hiding. She had figured out a long time ago that when he prattled like this, he was nervous about something.

But strangely, the only response he got was a slight "Wow".

He watched her for a full moment.

"You were right, it wasn't Chuck behind the gala," Dan started, deciding that he would end up having to tell her anyway, even though Jenny asked him not to say anything. Plus, it seemed as good a time as any to mention it considering she clearly wasn't paying attention.

"It was Blair."

Of course, _that_ got her attention.

"Hmm, what?" Serena murmured before looking up from the sidewalk they were walking down. "Blair?"

"Jenny told me I shouldn't mention it to you, but I thought you should know," Dan answered quickly. "Blair set up the thing at the gala."

Dan waited to see if Serena would show anymore reaction to the news then she'd been showing since school let out.

Serena hadn't been able to shake this weird feeling all day about Blair and Elise's new friendship.

She had never felt left out like this before. Serena was the one who was the center of attention and everyone flocked to her. She knew that some people didn't perceive that as a good thing, but she found no fault in it because she _was_ a nice person. She returned everyone's attention; it wasn't like she was shallow and vain and stuck up about it.

She just didn't like feeling left out, and that was how she felt all day.

She didn't like to think that she _needed_ to be the center of attention… and that was bothering her a little bit as well.

Dan had interrupted her thoughts with his news and she needed a minute to process what he said and figure out how she felt about it…

"Okay" was her only response.

Dan paused. He stopped walking so suddenly that it took her a second to realize he wasn't still next to her. She stopped and walked back to him.

"Okay?" he asked, perplexed. "That's all?"

"What do you want me to say?" Serena asked.

"A little more than just 'okay'," Dan sputtered.

"I mean, it's definitely cruel…" Serena began.

"Yes…," Dan urged.

"But it's also definitely _Blair. _And Jenny knew what she was getting into when she decided to be friends with Blair," Serena explained. "Jenny's not an idiot. She told you not to mention it to me because _you_ probably assumed I could or _would_ do something about it, but Jenny was smart enough to realize that this isn't my fight, not to involve me in this craziness. She knows I'm not going to involve myself. Besides, even if things don't just blow over, at least Jenny knows who her real friends are now."

"But _no one_ believes that she didn't do it," Dan said.

"Then I guess she needs new friends," Serena shrugged.

She could get upset about Blair's actions, and maybe it wasn't fair for Blair to take things out on Jenny especially since they knew be_fore_ the gala that it was Chuck who tipped off Gossip Girl and not Jenny, but she wasn't Blair's conscience.

"So you're not going to do or say anything?" Dan asked, startled.

"And choose between my best friend and my boyfriend's sister?" Serena asked. "Don't ask me to do that. Just let it go. You should too. In fact, I'm surprised you haven't already let it go."

"Because she's my sister?" Dan replied, incredulous.

"Yeah, but you never cared about reputations and popularity before, so why now?" Serena asked.

Dan started to deny that the two things were related but stopped.

She was right.

"I still feel guilty because I didn't believe her before," Dan finally replied.

"Did she forgive you?" Serena asked.

Dan nodded.

"Then just be her friend," Serena replied. "Sounds like she needs one right now—not some avenging angel or superhero."

Dan just nodded again, still feeling like he should do more, but Serena was right. He shouldn't involve himself in this stuff. He'd promised himself he wouldn't. He just had to let Jenny learn on her own… and be there for her whenever she needed him.

"Hrm," Serena said with a speculative glint in her eye. She had managed to push aside her deep thoughts over Elise and was ready to just spend a little time with her boyfriend.

"What?" Dan asked, knowing that glint.

"Just trying to picture you in tights, Morality Boy!" she laughed, grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket, turning and walking backwards while dragging him along.

"You did not just give me my superhero name," Dan winced.

Serena just laughed.

* * *

Well, she was definitely in the last place she ever expected to be, but she didn't really know what else to do, and if she was going to have any peace for the rest of her high school experience, she needed to do this.

And that was why Jenny Humphrey had just walked through a set of elevator doors into Blair Waldorf's penthouse.

"I know what you did," Jenny said before Blair could even begin. "And I know how you did it."

Blair just smiled that smug little smile and indicated with her hand, prompting Jenny to continue.

"Elise," Jenny revealed, acting like she'd just gotten one over on Blair. "You sent her to do all your dirty work, but you messed up."

Blair quirked an eyebrow, still saying nothing, but the smug smile was still firmly in place.

Jenny expected more of a reaction and was put off for a second by Blair's _un-_reaction. She recovered quickly

"So this is what you're going to do," Jenny said, drawing herself up, trying to keep her confidence strong. "You _will_ announce the prank. You _will_ get people to back off. Or I will tell everyone what you did and who helped you. Do you really think the girls will all be so accepting of your new little pet if they knew the truth?"

Blair's expression never wavered, in fact she seemed even more amused now that Jenny had threatened her.

"What?" Jenny said, exasperated, losing some confidence. "You think they won't believe me because no one believed me when I said I didn't steal anything? Well, what if they do!" Jenny arched her eyebrows now, indicating the severity of her words.

"Do you really think it's wise to threaten me?" Blair finally asked, still clearly amused.

"It's not fair!" Jenny finally said, almost stomping her foot.

Blair almost burst out laughing at how much Jenny sounded like a middle school brat.

"You _know_ I didn't do it!" Jenny exclaimed. "You _lied!_"

Blair shook her head. "Oh, the power of suggestion. Everyone came to their own conclusion. I didn't lie about anything. I didn't have to. Everyone _wanted _to believe the worst… though I didn't think you had a problem lying about people."

Jenny's face was red because she knew she was fighting a losing battle. "_I never lied to Nate about you!" _She knew that all of this had happened because she had told Nate that Blair had been with Chuck. She wished she had never heard anything!

"But you lied to Gossip Girl and everyone about _Chuck_," Blair said, smug smile still in place.

"… w-what?" Jenny stammered.

"_This_ is what will happen," Blair began. "_You_ will leave my home and you will say _nothing_ about Elise. And as long as you do, I won't let Bass in on _your_ secret."

"M-my secret?..." Jenny trailed off. She wasn't sure what Blair was talking about, but anything that involved Chuck couldn't be good.

"His grant?" Blair asked. "Ring any bells?"

Jenny flushed. _How did Blair know about that?_

"I had to do something," Jenny tried to excuse. "He found out that I told Nate about you and him; and he kept threatening me!"

"And what do you think he'd do to you now?" Blair asked, portraying innocence, but didn't hide the glint of victory in her eyes.

Jenny knew when she was beat. There was no way to get around it.

"And _that_, Little J, is why you won't speak _one_ word against Elise," Blair commanded, eyes flashing.

Jenny looked at Blair.

"Or me, of course," Blair added quickly.

Jenny nodded slowly, but the significance of how Blair worded her last sentence wasn't lost on her. She did feel a slight pang, remembering how she had treated Elise… using her, and making fun of her clothing choices… and calling her hips big… when Elise was actually stick thin.

She started to leave but realized she had to ask.

"Just one question, Blair," Jenny asked softly.

Blair waved her hand, rolling her eyes.

"Why couldn't you ever be that kind of friend to me?" Jenny asked.

"Kind of friend?" Blair asked.

"All I've wanted since the beginning of the year was to be your _friend_, the kind of friend Elise seems to be to you," Jenny explained. "I don't know how everything got so messed up, but that was all I wanted. To be _friends_ with _you_."

Blair shook her head. "You didn't want to be friends with me."

"But—," Jenny began but Blair interrupted.

"You only wanted to be friends with me for the popularity _you_ would gain," Blair said. "You wanted to use me. Did you really think I would make it easy for you?" She scoffed.

"I wasn't trying to use you," Jenny insisted.

"Really?" Blair laughed. "Kiss on the Lips invites? Truth or Dare? The Masquerade Ball? Your dismissal? I treated you like crap and you _still_ wanted to be my friend. Why put up with all that if you didn't want something from me? As in what _I_ could do for _you._"

Jenny didn't know how to respond to that… she _had_ gone through the ringer… and for what?

And Jenny realized that even in this, she couldn't dispute Blair.

She had lost. She was ruined. She had been warned. It was all over now.

Jenny sighed, giving up, and said quietly, "I won't say anything. I _can't_ say anything. But… can you please return whatever was taken… since I obviously can't…"

"I quit. I'm done with…," she threw up her hands "this, but at least if you return everything maybe the sticky lockers and nasty looks will stop and I can just go back to being ignored…haven't I suffered enough?"

"I'll decide when it's enough," Blair said, but she already knew everything was going back, that was what Elise wanted too. Of course, it was only a few things from key people. Anyone else probably just assumed a lost item went through Jenny's sticky fingers.

Jenny just sighed and nodded.

Then she left.

Blair was disappointed that the girl seemed to be giving up so easily. Jenny Humphrey had definitely fought longer than Blair ever expected her to.

She felt a small pang and rushed to bury it… but with a resigned sigh, she already knew that she may have to take some steps to help Jenny.

After all, it was her misdirected anger that caused her to destroy Jenny… she probably shouldn't have gone ahead with her plan… but she hadn't been able to resist.

The plan had just been that good.

* * *

**Tuesday, February 19****th****. After school. Matt takes Blair out.**

"You want me to do what?"

"Box," Matt grinned, waving one of his covered fists in her direction. He was feeling more comfortable with Blair than he had felt since they first went out. They were in _his_ place now, so he felt like he could relax a little and let his guard down.

Blair was flummoxed.

At first she was pleasantly surprised when he took her to Chelsea Piers, a state of the art sports center complete with a spa. She had been here on numerous occasions with Serena—it was one of S's favorite places to hang out... and was always trying to drag Blair from one activity to the other.

Blair had already sworn off the Rockwall years before and preferred spending time in the Café, which boasted a sushi bar, or lounging on the sun decks in the summer months.

Until this day, she had never set foot in the boxing area... and she was pretty sure by the end of the day she'd be swearing off this sport as well.

"You're not serious," Blair said, still disbelieving.

"Well, no," Matt winked. "See that guy over there?"

He nodded toward a guy across the room.

Blair nodded.

"That's Paul," he explained, "He's been trying to take me down the past couple months. He just keeps coming back for more."

He shook his head and laughed.

"Ah, good, because I don't know the first thing about," she waved a fist in a little waggle in front of her, "any of that."

He reached toward her fisted hand, "May I?"

_Good boy,_ she thought, pleased he remembered to ask before touching her.

She nodded.

He opened her fist and folded the fingers closed again. "Keep the thumb on the outside or you could break your thumb hitting something like that."

She rolled her eyes, "A lady doesn't settle her arguments with fists anyway." She vaguely remembered seeing a scene like this is a movie a long time ago. She was bemused that she just lived that scene…and feeling a little foolish about making her fist wrong to begin with.

"You never know," he laughed.

"He's ready," Matt nodded toward the boxing ring where Paul was already waiting.

"Just make sure you win," Blair said encouragingly.

"For you, madam, anything," he said with a twinkle in his eye before walking up the short steps and stretching through the ropes.

* * *

Of course he won.

And during the match she discovered that Matt was undefeated at the club, thanks to one of the coaches stopping by to check out the match.

So, she was duly impressed.

Although she cringed every time either guy took a hit to the face or fell, she really did have a good time.

She had tons of practice watching males practice their sport. After all, Nate Archibald was track and field star, with lacrosse as easily his second best sport. He had dabbled in football, soccer, and even basketball too. She knew way too much about all those sports thanks to him.

And now she was watching a boxing match.

What was next? _Squash_?

She thought that he would go clean up from his sweatiness when the fight was over…

Instead, he came straight up to her and tossed her a set of gloves.

"Suit up!" he said, energized by his win. He tossed his head and a lock of white blonde hair flew to the side.

"What?" she said, flustered, barely catching the gloves.

"Just slide them on," he instructed. "Don't worry. I won't try to take you. Just try out the bag." He slapped one of his gloves against one of the hanging black bags.

She took a deep breath and finally just put the things on.

"I'll stand over here, out of the way," he went to the other side of the bag he'd just hit.

"This is ridiculous," she said, still unsure of whether she should really try this.

"Come on," he insisted, "just hit it! Don't worry, it won't hit back."

"Ridiculous," she muttered to herself before finally attempting to hit it.

The bag didn't budge.

And she nearly lost her balance. She wobbled, feeling like an even bigger imbecile.

"Come closer to the bag," he suggested. "Plant your feet more firmly."

"Can we please stop this now?" Blair said, exasperated.

"Just one more hit," he encouraged. "All your anger and frustration and every bad emotion you want to get rid of, just put it in the punch."

So she thought about everything. The stuff with Chuck, Nate, Jenny, her father, her mother…. She put it all into the punch.

Her fist hit the bag with a loud *THWACK*!!

And… the bag didn't budge.

They both burst out laughing.

"Sushi?" she suggested finally after catching her breath.

"Shower, then sushi," he nodded, still laughing.

* * *

"Hello?"

"Uh, hey… it's me… Eric," he said.

"Well, hi!" Elise tried to stop from squealing. She must act calm, cool, and collected. She must not show how excited she was to finally hear from him.

And of course, all the mixed feelings she'd felt about him not calling went straight out the window at the first sound of his voice.

"Sorry I didn't get a chance to uh…" Eric started.

"It's okay," Elise said. "Blair told me you weren't feeling well. Are you feeling better now?"

Eric groaned inside at the memory of his massive hangover the past Saturday.

"I'll live," he answered.

"So…"

"Yes?" Now that she was on the phone with him she had no idea what to say. So, she would do what Blair said and let _him_ do the talking.

"How have you been?" Eric asked lamely. He sometimes wished he had the finesse of Chuck Bass.

"Good," she replied.

"Good," he repeated.

"Yeah," she said for lack of a better thing to say.

"I saw you on the steps today," Eric finally said.

"Really?" Elise said, grinning.

"I would have come over but you seemed… busy," Eric lied. He wouldn't have come over at all since he hadn't called her back yet. But he figured he probably shouldn't say that.

"I wish you would have, it would have been great talking to you," Elise said.

"Well, we still can," Eric replied.

Elise didn't say anything, hoping that meant what she thought it meant…

"Got any plans this weekend?" he asked.

"Saturday, but I'm absolutely free Friday night!" Elise tried to dial back the excitement but it was hard.

"Pick you up at eight then?" he asked.

"Sure, sure!" Elise had to swallow hard to stop from squealing.

"See you then," he said before hanging up.

Well, maybe he could channel some Chuck Bass after all.

_Then again… _

_Maybe not,_ he laughed to himself.

* * *

**Wednesday, February 20****th****. 4:30pm. Dr. Sherman's.**

"We left off last time with an assignment," Dr. Sherman said. "Did you work on it?"

Blair nodded slowly.

"So you have decided what you're going to do to relieve the loss of control you feel with the two boys?"

Blair gave a small nod again.

"And that is…?" Dr. Sherman hoped this wouldn't be a tooth-pulling session to get answers.

Blair just shrugged.

Dr. Sherman sat patiently, hoping for a little more, realizing she wasn't going to get it—not yet anyway.

"Has there been anymore purging since our last session?" she asked, changing the subject.

Blair shook her head.

"Very good, I'm glad to hear it," she said, before settling in for a silent hour.

Sometimes in order to get someone to speak, she had to just sit back and relax and be quiet. Eventually the silence or the patient's inner thoughts got to them until they finally decided to spill what was on their mind.

Sometimes the patient outlasted the hour. If that were the case, she'd just send the patient home with a few kind words and hope for more in the next session. It was one of the facts of her trade. People set up the appointment to see her and may not feel like talking when the appointment finally arrived—especially teenagers who were sometimes forced to come to therapy by an overbearing parent.

_Why wasn't she saying anything?_ Blair groaned inside. She hated when Dr. Sherman got this way. She knew it was because she wasn't speaking. The woman always closed off like that whenever Blair wasn't forthcoming.

Usually Blair could hold out until the end of the session, but the tension was very thick today. She found herself squirming, fidgeting with her fingers, staring at the stupid painting on the wall of a quaint little cottage in the middle of nowhere.

_Who would want to live in the middle of nowhere?_ she thought. She shook her head and started concentrating on the couch pattern.

The silence was thick.

They sat that way for twenty minutes.

_Bbbbrrrriiiinggg!_

_Crap,_ Blair thought, reaching immediately for her phone. "Sorry."

Dr. Sherman shook her head, "Please try to remember to turn off the phone during our sessions."

Blair quickly hit the ignore button—but not before seeing who was calling. _Figures._

This time the tension was too much for Blair to bear, especially after that phone call from the new guy who was helping to _create_ all this tension.

"I was wrong," Blair finally grudgingly admitted, looking everywhere but at the doctor.

Dr. Sherman just waited.

"I mean, I _think_ I was wrong," Blair continued.

"What exactly do you think you were wrong about?" the doctor asked slowly.

"I started seeing someone else," Blair answered.

"And that was wrong because…?" the doctor led.

"We went on a date." Blair stated.

"Yes?"

"To Chelsea Piers," Blair explained. "He likes to box, wanted to show off or something."

The doctor waited.

"It was actually fun," Blair said.

"And why do you think you were wrong?" the doctor asked again.

"Well… he got me to try on the gloves, and that didn't end well," Blair gave a self-depreciating smile, "then we stopped by the Café for sushi, then he took me home."

The doctor just kept on waiting.

"…Then he tried to kiss me," Blair muttered.

"Tried?" the doctor picked out the key word in the phrase.

"Well, he asked if he could. I should have," Blair grimaced. "I don't know why I didn't want to. I mean, he's been so careful with me. I have the guy walking on egg shells half the time. It's a miracle he loosened up at all."

"Do you like this boy?" the doctor asked.

"Well, yeah…" Blair looked away, "Sort of."

"I mean, we had a good time but…"

"But?" the doctor encouraged.

"I've sort of… only been using him…" Blair mumbled.

"For?"

"To keep distance between me and Chuck and Nate," Blair admitted.

"I see," the doctor said.

"What?" Blair snapped. "What do you see? That I managed to just lose even more control?!"

"When was the date?"

Blair sputtered, "I, uh, yesterday."

"And there has been no purging?"

"No!" Blair said sharply.

"Did you want to after the date?"

Blair thought about it… "No…"

The doctor nodded, "Good."

Blair sat in contemplative silence. Maybe she was right after all…

"Remember, I'm not here to tell you whom to date," Dr. Sherman stated. "I'm here to help you with your condition. I will not say whether your coping is right or wrong. That is for you to decide. I _will_ help you ask yourself the questions you need to ask yourself before deciding though," the doctor smiled.

"So what should I be asking myself?" Blair asked softly.

"If you really don't want to kiss this boy, but you had fun with him, do you really want more with him, or just want to be friends?" the doctor asked.

Blair opened her mouth to respond.

"Ah," the doctor stopped her. "Ask _yourself_. You don't need to answer me. Just think about the answer."

"And even if you're not sure what you want, maybe you need to talk to this boy. Don't tell him you were using him—he may have even picked up on a little of that himself. Maybe you need to let him know you aren't ready for more yet. Maybe you'd like to take this opportunity to just get to know him."

"…Or maybe you didn't want to kiss him because you really aren't interested in him at all. Even though you had a good time, maybe it was just a fluke. In that case, you need to decide if you want to purposefully continue leading him on… or just end things completely."

"Are you worried that if you end things completely, it'll make the other two boys become involved in your life again? And what if you let one or both back in through some capacity and everything spins out of control again? Is that a chance you're willing to take?"

"So if I break things off with him, I'm admitting I was wrong," Blair said. "And if I don't, I was right?"

"Blair, it's not about being right or wrong," the doctor clarified. "It's about being happy or unhappy. And I want you to be happy."

"Happy?" Blair said it like it was a foreign word.

"Yes, happy."

"Okay…" Blair had way too much to think about now.

"Times up," Dr. Sherman said. "Should I schedule you for next Wednesday, same time? Or would you like to be seen again sooner?"

"Wednesday is fine," Blair said, standing up quickly.

"See you then."

* * *

**Thursday, February 21****th****. Evening.**

"Why are we here... Wherever here _is_," Eric looked around in shock.

"We're looking for a girl," Chuck said.

"Uh, I've got one…" Eric said, watching a particularly skanky girl strut by. He almost shuddered. "But good luck there."

"For Nate," Chuck explained.

"Nate?" Eric laughed. "Nate just got finished dating Blair Waldorf. Somehow I don't think any of these girls will compare."

"You think too much, brother," Chuck instructed. "Nate has been with the same girl…er, mostly anyway, since Kindergarten. He needs a chance to let loose. Spread some wild oats. He doesn't need a Blair-clone. He needs a one night stand."

"Or a couple of them," Chuck smirked at a particularly hot set of twins.

"So, what? Am I calling him to get him down here or something?" Eric said, starting to feel extremely uncomfortable.

"No…" Chuck drawled. "We're going to get her to go to him."

"How?"

Then Eric's eyes widened with realization.

"It's amazing what you can purchase for a night in this city."

* * *

_To be continued…_


End file.
